by Lexi Whitlow
“I enjoy what I do,” I snickered.
“Well, they said you have four weeks, and if you need more all you need to do is call.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I smiled. And I meant it. I guess my colleagues call me a workaholic for a reason, but the truth is I adore what I do. It’s never been work for me, just… life. Life enjoyed, and life lived, and life loved.
“Knock knock,” came a voice from the door.
“Axel,” I smiled lightly.
“That’s what brings me to my other point,” I heard my mom sigh.
“What’s wrong, Mom?” I asked. I could hear the sadness and exasperation in her voice, and I was wondering how in the world she was going to take care of me. She had the farm, and my father wasn’t much help these days, and it seemed like I had a long road to recovery ahead of me. Right now, I had issues just lifting my own hands! How was she going to take care of me!?
“Settle that mind down, Julie. It’s alright.”
God, his voice could calm the raging sea inside of me with just a few simple words.
“Axel and I talked, and he’s offered to take care of you. The doctor says you’ll be here for two or three more days, and then you can either go to a halfway house and recuperate, or you can be released into someone’s care.”
“Axel…?” I asked. I panned my gaze over to him standing at the door, and I watched him unfurl his arms before he came and sat on the edge of my hospital bed. His large, strong hand descended lightly onto my leg, and when he began to rub it in an attempt to quell my fears, I felt myself melt into the warmth of his touch.
“I’ll come by as often as I can, but I just won’t be able to upkeep the farm and make sure you have everything you need.”
I could hear the tears in my mother’s eyes, and I lobbed my gaze over toward her. Tears were streaming down her face, and I knew exactly what she was thinking. So, I turned my hand over and locked my fingers with hers before I urged her to look at me.
“You are not an incompetent mother, Mom. You have responsibilities, and you trust Axel. I think we all do, even after all these years.”
I felt his hand squeeze my leg, and it took every ounce of energy I had not to groan in comfort right there in the middle of the hospital room.
“I’ll come by every day,” my mother breathed.
“Ssshhhh… it’s alright,” I soothed. I pulled her close to me and felt her wrap her tired arms around me. Whoever suggested that Axel take care of me was right, even without the responsibility of the farm, my mother’s energy went towards taking care of my father. She would’ve never had the energy and strength to juggle taking care of both of us.
“You’ll be just fine with me, Julie,” Axel said lowly.
And a smile graced my chapped lips just as my mother began to pull away from the crook of my neck.
“I know,” I said. “I know.”
Axel
Axel - Chapter Eleven
I knew Julie’s mother would’ve never been able to take care of her in the condition she was in. From what the doctor was telling us, Julie would have issues getting up to walk and cleaning herself for a while, which meant she wouldn’t be able to do things like cook and clean for herself. Her mom was inundated with responsibilities around her ranch and was still the prime caretaker of Barber, and it killed me to think about Julie not being taken care of in the way she needed to be.
When we had all this information, it was just before Julie had woken up, and when I suggested it to Mrs. August, she had thrown a fit. She accused me of calling her a terrible mother, and I had to hold her close and tell her that I meant absolutely none of that. I explained to her the sheer amount of time it would take to take care of Julie, even if she was sleeping a great deal because of her pain medication. Julie would have doctor’s appointments to get back and forth to, and she would need help in the shower as well as getting clothes on. Mrs. August was tough, but she was also older, and lugging around Barber whenever he needed help was more exertion than she could take some days.
And that was no secret to the community.
I told her I’d be there to help her and that I’d give her a key to my home. I told her she could come by anytime she wanted to visit and check up on Julie, and that I’d keep my phone on me so she could call whenever she wanted. It was quite the fight with her, but when Barber finally intervened, he was able to talk some sense into her.
And finally, she relented and agreed to let me take Julie home to care for her.
I stayed by Julie’s bedside and lived in the few clothes I kept slung in the back of my truck. When she was sleeping, I went up to the local laundromat and cleaned my clothes up, and when I needed a shower, I used the little one that was attached to Julie’s hospital room. She was still groggy from the antivenom and the pain medication she was on, so she slept more than she was awake. But, that didn’t bother me. It gave me a lot of time to think on some things.
I made some phone calls and moved back riding lessons for the next two weeks. I figured if I could get Julie up and going on her own halfway through the month, then I could at least resume giving lessons to the boys who had aspirations of riding in the rodeo one day. I made a call to Bradley and told him I’d pay him money if he would come over and take care of my animals so I could focus on Julie, and he said he could switch off with his dad. I tried to get him to agree on a price, but he refused to be paid.
Figures, with a selfless man like him.
So, I told him I’d offer him free work in return. If he were gonna come take care of my animals free of charge, then I’d offer him the same courtesy. I told him he could take me up on that offer anytime he’d like, and it could be a way for him and his father to take a vacation. Far as I knew, they’d never taken one-- not since his mama died anyway-- proclaiming that it wasn’t a family vacation without the entire family.
But sometimes you just needed a break from work.
I told him how Julie was and he promised to stop by later on. I told him to seriously consider my offer, even if he and his dad just sat around the house and did absolutely nothing. That wasn’t a vacation, that was just being lazy, and Bradley laughed through the phone before he hung up.
Now, it was just a matter of fixing up things in the house before Julie got there. I had a spare bedroom across the hall from mine, but the issue was it was upstairs. I had a room downstairs that I could clear out, but that required furniture to be moved and I wasn’t sure I could pull that off in the amount of time I had. So, since Julie was still sound asleep, I went off in search of the doctor.
“Ash! Hey… hey, Ash!”
She turned around with a small smile on her lips, and I caught myself before I approached her.
“I mean, doctor. Hey, doctor.”
“What can I do for you, Bullhead,” she lulled.
“I have some questions on how to make Julie safe and comfortable given her condition.”
“Alright. Shoot,” she said.
“Stairs. Yay or nay?”
“If she’s got help, no problem. But, she might get dizzy looking down them with the concussion she’s got, so a general ‘nay’ unless someone’ll help her down every single time.”
“Alright. What about diet? Anything I should stay away from with her swelling and stuff?”
“Anything that prompts inflammation will be bad, but if you just stick to a healthy diet that isn’t rich in breads, you’ll be good. Lots of water, no soda, and absolutely no caffeine.”
“Julie’s not gonna like that,” I mused lowly.
“No one ever does,” Ash smirked.
“Whose care is she being released into?” she asked.
“Mine.” Ash pursed her lips.
“Bet her momma didn’t like that.”
“Not at first, but I gave her a key to the house so she could come by whenever she wanted.”
“That’s good,” Ash smiled, “you’re a good man, Axel.”
“Thanks,” I sighed.
“Just… kn
ow your limits,” she warned.
“What’s that mean?”
“Axel, this is Julie. There isn’t a person around here, new or old, that doesn’t know y’all’s story. What she did rocked this little Oklahoma town, and there are just as many people worried about you as they are about her.”
“I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”
“Doesn’t mean you shouldn't be reminded of that every once in a while.”
The silence that hung between us was tense. I didn’t stop to think about how this would look: a boy whose college love abandoned him the morning after graduation suddenly comes back into town, half kills herself, and then that same boy takes her in to rehabilitate her as he sees fit.
“I’ll be careful,” I assured her.
“Good,” she smirked.
“Oh! Another thing to keep in mind: no cars. People with concussions get motion sickness very quickly, so once you get her home, no more gettin’ in that truck of yours.”
“What about grocery shopping and stuff?” I asked.
“Don’t leave her alone. Which means you’ll need to do that while she’s still here.”
“Thanks for lettin’ me know,” I said. “Uh… when are we looking at discharging her?”
“Well, I’m gonna check back in on her tonight before I go home, but if all looks good and her brain swelling has continued to dissipate, we should be able to send her home tomorrow.”
“Perfect. Thanks, As-... I mean, doc.”
“Anytime, Bullhead,” she winked.
I trotted back to Julie’s room and saw her father sitting by her bedside. He was drawing circles on the back of her hand while Julie slept, and when he slowly rose his eyes up and connected them with mine, I gave him a slight nod and left. I knew he’d stay with Julie until I got back, and that meant I could get some stuff in my kitchen before tomorrow. I reached in and grabbed my wallet off the corner table and told Barber I was going grocery shopping, and he shewed me off and down the hallway. I’m sure he wanted to spend some time alone with his daughter, and if I played my cards right, I could even set up her bedroom before I came back.
I made my way to my truck and headed to the grocery store and stocked up on all sorts of things. I figured the easier it was to eat, the more inclined she would be to eat, so I picked up ingredients for many different kinds of soups. I knew Julie loved my cabbage stew, so I picked up a couple heads to get marinating in a pot before I headed back to the hospital. I picked up some apples and some peanut butter, thinking maybe if she wanted a snack that would be a good one. She was a glutton for homemade macaroni and cheese, so I piled in the ingredients and made sure that was a staple in her diet.
Plus, if I made too much, it was easy to spoon out and reheat, which would give her some of her independence back. I had a feeling it was going to be very hard for Julie to let me take care of her, being all independent like she was. So, I was determined to give her as much as she could do on her own as I possibly could.
I grabbed vegetables for a stir fry and tried to remember the meats I had in my deep freezer, and after grabbing some stuff to make pancakes and bacon for breakfast in the morning, I headed on up to check out. I’d only been in the store for 45 minutes, and if I got this stuff home and put up, I could rearrange her room a bit before she arrived tomorrow.
I got back to my house and checked my phone to make sure no one from the hospital had called. I hauled the groceries in and got everything put away, and before I did anything else I washed down both heads of cabbage and placed them in a pot of water. I salted and peppered it before throwing in some other seasonings, and I covered it just to let it sit on the counter. Julie loved the broth from this soup more than anything, and I wanted to make sure she had plenty of it.
I bounded upstairs and busted through the door to the spare bedroom and immediately got to work. I stripped the bed sheets and put new linens on it, I dusted down the furniture and the fan, I cleaned up the attached bathroom and placed fresh towels out for her to use, and I made sure the good toilet paper was on a roll. I ran the vacuum quickly over the carpet and made sure the lamp by her bed had a working bulb, and when I felt like everything was done, I wiped the sweat from my brow.
And then, I heard my phone vibrating downstairs.
I took off down the stairs and skidded into the kitchen, and when I saw Julie’s number pop up on my phone, I felt a rush of panic clench my throat shut.
“Julie? Are you alright?”
“It’s just me, Axel.”
“Hey there, Mrs. August. Everything alright? I’ve got food in the house for Julie, and her room all made up.”
“That sounds wonderful,” she said.
“Are y’all alright?” I asked again.
“Julie’s askin’ for ya is all. Figured I’d call and see where you were.”
Julie. My Julie. My wonderful, soft, spunky, sassy, sensitive Julie was asking for me. She was wondering where the fuck I was, and all I was doing was sweating in the middle of my damn kitchen.
I’d taken too fucking long.
“I’m getting into my car right now. Tell her I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“I’ll let her know,” Mrs. August said.
“Oh… Axel?”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Thank you,” she breathed.
“It’s not a problem. I promise,” I lulled.
Julie
Julie - Chapter Twelve
My head was still wrapped in gauze and throbbing when the doctors finally discharged me. The venom had worked its way out of my system, but it was going to take time for the entrance port at the base of my skull to heal. Cooling packs were wrapped around my head to keep any swelling from the concussion under control, and the doctor was rattling off many different things to Axel.
She gave him a list of the things I couldn’t eat, gave him a rundown of the types of activities I needed to stay away from, and then gave him a rundown of how long it should take for the severe concussion to dissipate before we needed to be getting nervous. The worst was behind us, but I still had a long road to go, and I was secretly glad my work was letting me off the hook for a month. No, I wasn’t the happiest when mom had informed me that she called them, but they had promptly filled my hospital room with flowers and bombarded me with emails telling me they would take care of my designs and my show until I could get back.
Axel helped me into the car before he slung the brown bag of medications in the back and my parents followed us to his home. My dad, as slow moving as he was, helped me get into the house and up the stairs while mom unpacked me in the room Axel had set up for me. I could smell the cabbage soup the moment I walked in, and my mouth started to salivate, and once mom got me unpacked and dad got me working with the television Axel had put in his guest bedroom, he gently laid a bowl of soup in my lap.
“There’s plenty more where that came from, and you can eat as little or as much as you want,” Axel soothed.
“Alright, I’ve got your clothes in here, your toiletries in there, your bath stuff by the tub, and your blanket at your side. Dad’s working on the television, and I’ll be by later tonight to check on you before I go to bed.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I smiled lightly. She squeezed my arm slightly and left me on the couch. I tried to spoon the soup into my mouth, but my hand was trembling too much, and before I could protest or try to figure it out myself the spoon was hovering next to my lips.
“For once, just go with it,” Axel smirked.
I parted my lips and took in the beautiful cabbage liquid, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw my dad smirked. He wrapped his arm around my mother and escorted her out of the room, and I saw her take one last look down the hallway before she started helping my father down the stairs.
“Your father’s really lucky to have her,” Axel said as he scooped another spoonful up to my lips.
“And she’s lucky to have him,” I mused. He helped me eat in relative silence, and when my head star
ted throbbing, I closed my eyes and sighed.
“Here, let me get you something.”
I heard a bag rustling before some plastic started clinking together, and before I knew it, Axel had taken my hand and dropped a couple of pills into it. I heard a bottle of water crack open, and I threw the pills into my mouth, and Axel held the bottle of water up to my lips while I gulped it along with the pills down. I gulped so hard, droplets of water started to drop onto my chin, and I felt Axel tip the bottle down before his thumb ran across my skin. My head was throbbing, and it was keeping my eyes closed, but the warmth of his hand was so comforting. My mind flashed back to the night we spent in his trailer and how good it felt to have his body rolling into mine again, and my hand shook so badly Axel picked it up and brought it to his lips to kiss.
“You need to rest,” he murmured into my skin.
The truth was, I was nervous about being alone in his home with him. All of my confidence in explaining to him what had happened before seemed to have disappeared with the accident. I mean, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me and I knew he would take care of me, but my body was already succumbing to him. My skin puckered at his touch, and my thighs involuntarily squeezed whenever he had kissed the back of my hand, and I knew that if I stayed here longer than I needed to, I would be second-guessing my flight back to Paris in a month. I’d already almost made that mistake once, and I wasn’t going to make it again.
I wasn’t going to throw away my dream life for my dream cowboy.
But most of all, I was scared he would ask. I was petrified that he would ask me why I left, and I was petrified that he would ask me where I went to. I was absolutely terrified that he would ask me why I didn’t just tell him or, better still, why I didn’t ask him to go with me. Part of me was scared he would ask me to stay because I knew I would go in a heartbeat for him, but part of me was petrified that he would ask me to take him, because I knew I would do that, too.
The difference was that leaving him here meant he could stay in his element and pursued what he loved. If I stayed here, I would’ve been miserable and always asking myself “what if,” and eventually I would’ve grown to resent him. But, if he would’ve gone with me, it would’ve been the same ordeal. He wouldn’t have had any rodeos or buckin’ broncos or anything to occupy his time, and there weren’t many rodeos happening in the city of Paris, France.
