by Lexi Whitlow
I didn’t want him to ask any of the questions I knew he wanted answers to, but I knew if we were alone long enough, he would.
I laid down when I got the pain medication in me and when I woke up there was a fresh bowl of cabbage soup near my bed. I picked it up to my lips and began to slurp, not caring about using the spoon, and just as I finished the silky broth that poured over my lips, I heard a little knock at the door.
“Just me,” Axel said. “How ya feeling?”
“Better,” I sighed.
“Soup good?”
“Very, yes. Thank you.”
“I’m gonna go in here and run you a bath. Figured you’d wanna clean up, but standing up in a shower probably won’t help nausea.”
“Probably not,” I responded.
I heard him retreat into the bathroom and turn on the water, and I took the chance to open my eyes. The room was still spinning a bit, but my head wasn’t pounding, so I swung my legs over the couch and tried to stand.
“Hold on a second, Julie,” Axel warned. “Lemme help.”
I felt his arm snake around my waist, and his body felt so strong against mine. Images of his lips caused me to shiver into him, and for the first time since that night in the trailer, he pulled me close.
“Let’s take it slow,” he murmured lowly.
We made our way to the bathtub, and he sat me on the edge, and it was sweet how he closed his eyes to I could get out of my clothes. He held onto my legs so I wouldn’t fall anywhere, and when it came time to take my pants off, he raised up his hands and held onto my shoulders. Without opening his eyes once, he helped me into the bath, but when he opened his eyes, I saw something that frightened me.
I saw a question rolling around, and Axel was never one to censor himself.
“I wanna be with you, Julie,” he said lowly.
I sighed and closed my eyes before I sank into the bubbles. Axel was taking wonderful care of me, but I should’ve seen this statement coming.
“Axel, we can’t,” I whispered.
“Why not?”
“Because we just can’t,” I groaned.
“Look. Ya left me, and I get that. But ya came back, and that’s a thing that happened. Ya don’t go knockin’ on someone’s trailer and experience what we did without feelings behind it. I care for you, Julie. I never stopped.”
His words wounded me to my core. My entire body buzzed for him, and something inside of me wanted to tug him into this bathtub and hold him close amidst the hot water and the soap suds. But, it wouldn’t work. I know I’m a country girl at heart, but a man like him doesn’t care about fashion and a woman like me doesn’t live where rodeos are constantly a thing.
Not if you want a career in fashion, that is.
“We can’t,” I whispered.
“Yes, we can,” he urged.
“No, we can’t,” I bit. I opened my eyes and caught his wild stare, and for a split second, I almost caved. I ran my eyes along his strong jaw line and took in the wild tresses of his hair. I scooped along his strong frame and locked my eyes onto his strong, dexterous hands, and my stomach churned at the idea of having him pressed against me again.
“We’re just… so different now,” I shrugged lightly.
“‘Different’ don’t mean ‘incompatible’.”
“We can’t,” I whispered. I cursed myself when I felt tears rise to my eyes, and I cocked my body away from him in the tub. My head hurt and my back hurt, and my heart hurt, and my soul ached. I wanted him. I’d always wanted him. Nights in Paris that were lonely while all the other designers were out drinking. Nights at home when I didn’t seek him out but still longed for him to throw rocks at my window. Days when I heard a funny joke or experienced a funny moment, and I wanted to call him up and tell him about it.
It wasn’t just love that makes a relationship work, and Axel and I… we didn’t have nothin’ else but love. One of us would have to eventually give up something to be with the other, and I wasn’t about to do that to either of us.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“I’ll be back to check on ya soon,” Axel murmured. His hand landed on my shoulder, and my body jumped at his touch. He smoothed his hand over the small star tattoo I still had on my left shoulder, and a tear slowly barreled down my cheek. I remembered the day I got that tattoo. It was actually a dare I lost to Axel. We were walking through the apple fields on the edge of town, hand in hand while the winds of fall were blowin’ us every which way. I kept telling him I was fearless and bold, and he kept bringing up my incredible fear of needles.
I kept insisting that it was just a one-time deal, that cortisone shots hurt like hell and it was the pain of the shot, not the needle, that freaked me out.
He then challenged me to a contest: if I could successfully get a tattoo that he chose for me on the part of my body that I chose, then he would not only drop the subject, but he would take me to the neighborhood hoedown taking place at his parent’s barn that night.
Axel had never been a dancer, and he promised he’d dance with me that night.
So, we went into the first tattoo shop we came to in town, and he picked out this little black star. It wasn’t much-- no bigger than the pad of Axel’s thumb-- but at the time it felt like I was getting an entire back tattoo. I remembered biting into his arm while the man traced it onto my shoulder, and I suddenly realized in that very moment why the tattoo artist tried to talk me out of getting it right on my shoulder.
Because it fucking hurt.
Axel took me to the hoedown that night and tripped over his feet the entire time. We actually ended up just swaying in the corner for the rest of the night while we smiled and talked in our own little world, and that was the first night Axel, and I would have sex with one another.
It was a night I’d never forget, but the memories came rushing back when I felt Axel rub his thumb over that tattoo on my shoulder.
But before I came to from my memories, I heard the bathroom door quietly click shut, and I was left alone to silently bathe in my tears.
Axel
Axel - Chapter Thirteen
Every single time I did something, there was always a ‘linger.’ A lingering stare, or a lingering touch. A lingering smile or a lingering warmth. Every time I was around Julie, I felt this drastic pull to her being, and when the ‘linger’ became too long, she pulled back. I could see it in the way her skin blushed where I touched it, and I could hear it in her voice when it involuntarily got smokier when I was around. She wanted me as much as I wanted her, but she denied every chance I asked for when it came to talking with her.
I brought her cabbage soup and slowly worked her up to solid foods, and after the first week of her recuperation, she was eating my homemade macaroni and cheese. I ran her baths every evening and made sure to keep her favorite bath salts in stock, and whenever she started racking up dirty towels and laundry, I made sure to wash and dry them with fabric softener so they would be comfortable against her skin when she slept. Her body was still tired, and we were still changing bandages on her head, but little by little I saw the Julie I remembered emerge.
I always reminded her that she needed assistance walking down the stairs and that we could always watch a movie in her room, and by the time the movie was finished she was always slumped over into my lap and dead asleep in my grip. I watched her breaths rise and fall numerous times over the course of that first week, and studying her up close only added to the beauty I saw in her face. Her light crow’s feet that were emerging due to stress only added to the wondrous time etched on her face, and her skin was even softer than I imagined. For all the times I’d woken up alone, and without her, I made sure to be there-- holding her close and keeping her safe-- for whenever she woke up from those naps.
A part of me wanted to watch her stretch and groan with sleep, and a part of me didn’t want her to feel as lonely as I felt whenever I woke up alone. Even if she didn’t think I deserved better than that, I knew she did.
“You hungry?” she would croak.
“Whatcha in the mood for?” I’d smile.
She’d throw out a few suggestions that would make me chuckle: steak and potatoes, lobster and noodles, hibachi stir fry and a stiff drink. But, we’d always settle on something easier for her stomach, like soup or rice and beans or the occasional reheated cabbage soup broth.
“It’s just so good,” she’d gulp.
I couldn’t help but watch her lips wrap around those glasses and that bowl. She was so beautiful, even in her bandaged state, and it killed me to think that she was in that kind of danger without me around. It was no one’s fault, and Lord knows I don’t blame anything but the snake for it, but I had come within millimeters of losing Julie, and the only thing it did was make me pay attention to her more.
Like when her hips swayed when she walked or when her hair billowed when she turned around.
Hell, she even looked graceful puking up her guts in my toilet whenever she’d turn around and billow her hair too fast.
But one night, I saw it in her eyes. One night I rushed into her room because I heard her calling out for me and thrashing around, and when I busted into her room, she was half-naked and tossing around in her covers. She was having a nightmare, and I sat on the edge of her bed, desperate to get her to stop moving around so damn much. She still had a concussion from what the doctor said when he had come by the day before, and strenuous movements were still out of the picture.
“Julie,” I said strongly. “Julie, wake up.”
“Help! Axel!” she yelled.
“Julie!” I roared. I grasped her shoulders and shook her lightly, and when her eyes flew open, she darted up and wrapped her arms around me.
“Oh, my God,” she breathed.
I could feel her trembling, and all I could do was hold her close. I turned my lips into her face and peppered her cheek with kisses, and when I caught my tears with her lips, I began running my hands up and down her back. I tried to not pay attention to the fact that her bare tits were pressed up against me, but I could feel them puckering against my naked chest even as I sat there comforting her in the middle of the night.
“You wanna talk about it?” I murmured lowly in her ear. But, all I did was feel her shake her head no.
But then, she turned her lips into my neck and lightly grazed her teeth against my skin.
“Julie…” I warned. I felt myself growing underneath my flannel pajama pants, and I knew that if she didn’t stop, then I’d have some serious problems restraining myself.
“Oh, Axel,” I heard her sigh. Her fingernails lightly dug into the skin of my back, and I had to bite back a groan rising up in my throat, and when she pulled back, I watched her eyes flicker to my lips.
“Are you alright?” I asked lowly.
“Always, when you’re around.”
She leaned into my lips, and she tasted like the sweet tea she’d had with dinner. Her breath smelled of biscuits and honey, and the smell of her essence wafted from between her legs. I knew she couldn’t be jostled, and I knew I had to be gentle, but dear God I’d wanted her since the moment she crossed into my home, and damn it I was about to be as gentle as I could if it meant feeling her against me again.
I slowly dragged my lips down her neck while I laid her back onto her bed, and when I got to her nipples, I slowly pulled one between my lips. I felt her arch into me, and I slipped my hands underneath the small of her back, and I kissed down the clothed front of her body as my dick began to grow beneath the fabric of my pajama pants.
“You’re fucking beautiful, Julie,” I murmured into her belly button. I felt her hands drop down and wrap themselves in my hair, and I knew exactly where I was headed. I slowly pulled her pajama shorts down and groaned when I realized she wasn’t wearing underwear. This woman was gonna be the death of me, and I was gonna enjoy every second of silence the darkness of death had to offer as long as I got to sink my body into hers one last time.
Just once.
I spread her legs and watched her glistening pussy bare itself for me, and when I bent in to lick a thick stripe up her slit, she rolled her hips into my face. I ran my hands up her body before I found her hands, and when I interlaced our fingers together, it just felt right. Like the other part of my puzzle had been found and the picture was now complete and easy to identify.
My tongue had memorized every crevice and droplet of her cavern, and when I began to dance my tongue along her swollen clit, I felt her body begin to pick up its thrusting pace. I buried my hands into her hips and held her to the bed, desperate to keep her as still as I could while her pleasure washed over her. Her thighs locked along my cheeks and her hands pulled me in deeper to her, and when I flicked her clit one last time I felt my dick beginning to leak through my pants while her entire body convulsed underneath my tongue’s ministrations.
Her juices poured into my mouth, and I gulped her down, desperate for one last taste from her fountain of youth before she’d force reality to set in again.
“Fuck, Axel. Yes. Just… good God.”
Her legs collapsed beside my face, and my eyes fluttered up to hers, and I could see how hard her chest was panting even while her body laid there, bare and covered in sweat just for me. I rose up and shoved my pajama pants down, freeing my rock-hard cock that was begging to be inside of her, and when she opened her eyes, she simply sighed at me and smiled.
“I need you,” she whispered lightly, and it was all I needed. I dropped down onto her body and planted my hands on her head, and when I lined myself up with her swollen pussy, I pushed in with no problem. Her eyes fluttered shut, and a groan fell from my lips, and when my balls were pressed against her ass, I slowly began to rock my hips into hers.
Her pussy was so tight and so warm, and I made sure to keep a languid pace because I didn’t want to hurt her.
I just wanted to love her.
“Jesus, Julie,” I whispered. Her hands flew to my back and pulled me in closer to her, and I dipped my face into the crook of her neck while she panted in my ear. She lazily raised her hips to meet mine, and soon I could hear the telltale panting in her breath while she slowly climbed to the top. My dick was twitching inside of her, and my balls were pulling into my body, and all of a sudden, her pussy walls were fluttering around me and sucking me deeper into her body.
“Oh, Axel. God, don’t stop. Right-... right there.”
Her words of encouragement spurred me on, and I slowly picked up my pace. My body rocked against hers, and our skin slapped together, and pretty soon I reared back onto my heels and pulled her closer for better leverage. Her body was shaking, and her tits were bouncing, and I could feel her fingernails digging into the meat of my thighs while her mouth peeled open in ecstasy.
“Yes! Axel!”
She cried out while her pussy milked me dry, and I clenched my jaw and slammed myself deep into her before I filled her to the brim and spilled out onto the bed. My cum was dripping down the inside of her thighs, and I could smell our scents intermingled with one another, and when I dropped down beside her, she cuddled close to me and slid her leg within mine. I ran my fingers through her hair, and she gazed deeply into my eyes, and for the first time since college, I could fully admit to myself what was happening.
I could fully admit I was in love with Julie.
And all I could do was pray to God that she was there when I woke up in the morning.
Julie
Julie - Chapter Fourteen
I woke up next to Axel that morning, and everything felt right with the world. There he was, sleeping soundly while his muscular, chiseled chest rose and fell with his breaths, and I couldn’t help but dance my fingertips along the crest of his pecs. He’d always been handsome, but rodeos and farms and time had been kind to his body. He’d tacked on more muscle than I ever thought a man of his body stature would have, and I reveled in the bite marks that cascaded over his shoulders and chest.
He had been taking such excellent care of me
over these past three weeks. He was making me food and drawing me baths every night. My parents were coming by as often as they could, and he let them in with no issues and no fuss. Every time I turned around I had clean clothes that were folded in my drawers and, somehow, my toiletries were slowly replenishing themselves. His cabbage soup was the best I had to make sure to keep my mouth shut about it whenever my mother was around. Honest to god, nothing was as good as mom’s cooking when I was in Paris.
But Axel knew his way around a kitchen, and I could feel the little paunch in my gut that was slowly not receding whenever I’d go to the bathroom.
“You gotta stop feeding me all this food,” I snickered.
“Nothing wrong with a little meat on someone’s bones,” he smirked.
“Yeah, well, the fashion world isn’t kind to women who don’t keep themselves physically together.”
“Then maybe they just need to redefine their physical standards,” he shrugged.
Today was my third doctor’s appointment, and each one had told me I was healing well. The gauze finally came off in the second week, but I still wasn’t allowed to travel or do anything strenuous. Axel had cradled my head when we made love, and his tongue had sent me to places I’d never found when I ran away to Paris. His moans and groans that fell from his lips whenever he was between my legs were nothing short of catastrophically beautiful. Since that first night, we had made love several times over the course of the week and every time we woke up next to one another I felt safe.
I felt safe, I felt cherished, and I felt like I was back in college.
Guilt started to bubble in my stomach while we rode in his truck to the doctor’s office. Today would be the day that they would tell me whether I could travel or not, and I knew Axel knew that. I was due back in Paris at the end of next week, and I knew there were still many unanswered questions between Axel and me. My heart fluttered whenever his lips touched my skin and every time we woke up next to one another I couldn’t help the smile that peeled across my face. And now I was going to have to leave him again halfway around the world while I went off and pursued my dreams.
