Confessions (New Beginnings #4)

by Michelle MacQueen

  She slugged him and pushed away laughing. “I’m glad I got to see you, little brother. Good luck trying to start over. It’s not easy at first, but it gets better.”

  “Take care of her,” he said to Grant.

  “Excuse me.” She planted her hands on her hips. “I can take care of myself.”

  He reached out and ruffled her curls before walking towards his car.

  Abigail and Grant stopped to get her bag from the hotel before heading to the airport to catch their late-morning flight. She was in pain, but the meds they’d given her were helping, and she wanted to get out of that city as fast as she could. She didn’t think she’d ever go back, but then again, that’s what she said a year ago and she didn’t know what was going to happen with her parent’s trials. For now, though, it was done. If she had to make the decision to go again, knowing what was going to happen, she still would. For her brother.

  Grant took care of carrying their bags and even helping her when she felt weak. She was relieved as they drove through Columbus.

  “My place?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” she responded. “I don’t really want anyone else seeing me like this.”

  Abigail felt weird walking into Grant’s apartment. The only other time she’d stayed there was their first night together. That was about nine months ago. Now they were bringing the island back into their real lives. That both excited her and terrified her.

  She grabbed some sweats out of his dresser and threw them on with one of his t-shirts. Comfort trumped just about anything right about now. The meds were starting to wear off.

  Walking back out into the living room, she came face to face with Taylor. She hadn’t even thought about her being here, even though Josh was Mack’s roommate.

  “Whoa.” Taylor grabbed her arm and she winced in pain. “What happened to you?”

  Abigail froze for a second. Taylor would find out eventually, but it was too much right now. Deflect. That’s all she knew how to do.

  “Cage fight.” She shrugged and moved by her.

  “Abigail,” Taylor called her back.

  “Hockey game gone wrong?” Abigail grinned at her.

  “I know what you’re doing. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. Just tell me, are you okay?”

  Abigail’s false smile fell and she felt her lips start to quiver. Rushing by Taylor, she bulled her way into the bathroom and hunched over the sink to splash water on her face.

  I will not cry.

  She was strong, tough; if she broke down now, all her walls would crumble.

  “Abigail?” Taylor put a hand on her back.

  Abigail turned into her and let her friend wrap her in a hug. Tears finally damped her face as she shook.

  Grant appeared in the door of the bathroom and watched them without a word. After a few moments, Abigail was transferred to his capable hands and Taylor left them to deal with whatever was going on.

  He led her into his room and shut the door with his foot before guiding her to the bed. He sat next to her, rubbing circles on her back, careful to avoid the areas he knew were bruised.

  “I’m sorry,” Abigail said, finally sitting up and wiping her face dry.

  “Don’t be.”

  “You know, that man made me tough.”

  “Your dad?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I wouldn’t be as strong as I am if it wasn’t for him. But he also made me weak.” She looked at him, now with a dry face and clear eyes. Her moment was over. “I want a family.” She couldn’t believe she was telling him this, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “All I’ve ever wanted is for someone to love me. How foolish is that?”

  He rested his chin on the top of her head. “Everyone wants to be loved.”

  “But I’ve been so desperate for it. My entire life. That’s why I spent so many years trying to please them. It was pointless. They were never going to love me.”

  “You have Eric,” he said.

  “Yeah, but even that has been screwed up for a long time.”

  “Taylor loves you.”

  “I know,” she sighed. “I think that’s the most genuine relationship I’ve ever had.”

  “You have me.” His voice was no more than a whisper, and she wasn’t quite sure she was supposed to hear it. She leaned away from him and looked him in the eye.

  “Mack, I don’t even know what this is between us.”

  “Don’t call me Mack,” he grimaced.

  “What? Everyone calls you that.”

  “Not you. You’ve always called me Grant. It’s like our thing.”

  Her smile spread slowly, and she nodded.

  “And as to not knowing what this is … I think I’m in love with you.”

  “Bullshit.” She let out a harsh laugh, and then covered her mouth at the hurt that flashed in his eyes. “You don’t even know me.”

  “Now I’m calling bullshit. I’ve known you for nine months and twelve days.”

  “Yeah, but we spent a whole hell of a lot of that time avoiding each other and seeing other people.”

  “I know, it’s stupid.”

  “Do you even know what being in love feels like?” she asked. “I mean, you’re Grant Mackenzie. You’ve never been into serious.”

  “You know what?” He stood up angrily. “Forget about it.”

  “No, Grant, wait.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “I didn’t mean to laugh at you. It’s just, we’ve only been doing this for a couple weeks.” She looked down at their still connected hands. “How could you know?”

  He pulled her to her feet and brought her closer. “All I want is to be near you.” His voice was a low growl. “I think about you pretty much every second of every day. I’ve wanted you since our first night together, but I didn’t know I loved you until I found out you were going to your parents’ house. I knew then that I’d do anything to keep you from hurting.”

  Abigail sucked in a deep breath, her whole body tingling with their closeness. “That was a damn good answer.” She pressed her lips to his once then leaned away and cocked her head to the side. “You really love me?”

  “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

  “I think I’m starting to see that.”

  Chapter Ten

  Mack paced, tapping his hand against the door frame as Josh pulled on his shoes.

  “Did he tell you why he wanted you to come in?” Josh asked, straightening up.

  “He just said it was important.” Mack looked towards the door and then back at his roommate.

  “Okay, I’m ready.”

  “About damn time, dude.” He pulled open the door.

  “You know, I could just stay here.”

  “Not a chance.” Mack put a hand on Josh’s back and shoved him out the door.

  “Shouldn’t Abigail be the one who holds your hand at your meeting?” Josh laughed.

  “I don’t need my hand held,” Mack groused. “And Abigail went somewhere with Taylor.”

  “She finally had enough of you?”

  Mack answered that with a slug to the stomach. He kept walking, leaving Josh wheezing behind him.

  Josh caught up to him again. “And here I thought you were supposed to be the comic relief around here.”

  They walked the short distance to the arena and around to the back entrance.

  “It still feels weird being here,” Josh said. “I’ve been avoiding it a little bit.”

  Mack stopped walking and turned to his friend. “Shit, when I asked you to come, I didn’t think.”

  “Nothing new for you.” Josh tried to laugh it off. “You never think.”

  “I can do this alone.”

  “Nah,” Josh started moving again. “You’ve never been able to do anything alone.”

  Mack watched his friend for a moment, in awe of his strength. People like him, like Taylor, like Abigail who’ve been to hell and back made everything else seem less important. Mack had come to realize that if he had to start the season with a
different team’s logo on the front of his jersey, it was okay, because at least it meant he was still playing hockey.

  If he had to be roasted and ridiculed by the media tomorrow when his story came out, then so be it, because at least the secret couldn’t hold him back any longer.

  He jogged the few steps to catch up to Josh and slung an arm over his shoulders lazily. “You’re a good friend, Man.”

  Mack’s agent met them at the elevator. He’d been the one to tell him to come since he’d flown in just for this meeting.

  “Good to see you, Mackenzie,” he said as they shook hands.

  “I hope you have news for me.”

  “I do,” he nodded. “Come upstairs and we can talk.”

  “I’m going to wander,” Josh said. “Call me when you’re done.”

  Mack followed his agent into the elevator and upstairs to a meeting room. They closed the door behind them and got down to business.

  “Mack, I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me,” his agent started.

  “Sure thing,” was Mack’s response.

  “How much do you want to remain a Blue Jacket?”

  The question took him off guard. It wasn’t what he was expecting. He thought for a long moment. He considered the guys on the team. The city. The fans. Josh. Abigail. If he left, it’d mean leaving her.

  “More than anything in the world,” he finally said. “This is my team. This is my home. We’re building something here, and I want to see it go the distance. There are people here that I can’t see my life without.”

  His agent sighed. “That’s what I thought. It’s why you’ll probably accept their offer even though I’m sure you’d get much more elsewhere.”

  “There’s a new offer?” His eyes lit up.

  “It’s slightly less money than we were after, but not by much. Where they get you is term. It’s a two-year offer. Another team would give you six.” He looked down at his papers and flipped through them as Mack stayed silent, thinking it over. “I have a note here from Mr. Simms. I don’t quite understand it.” He handed Mack a slip of paper.

  I’m giving you the chance to prove you are who you say you want to be. Confessions only go so far. Show me a complete player, a complete person, and you’ll earn the years.

  Mack looked up. “It’s a ‘prove it’ contract.” He smiled, thinking about his last conversation with his general manager. “He’s putting his faith in me.”

  “He’d offer you more if he was doing that.”

  “No,” Mack said quietly. “He was going to trade me. I’m sure of it now. Knowing him, he probably already had it set. John Simms is not a man who changes his mind.”

  Simms was known around the league as a hard-ass, as immovable as a brick wall. This time he moved, even if it was slight.

  “I’ll sign,” Mack stated suddenly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  His agent looked at him for a long moment before nodding and standing. “That’s what I thought. It’s why I had you meet me here. Simms wants to do this now, something about controlling a story.”

  Mack laughed. Simms was a master manipulator, and this was going to spin whichever way he decided to throw it.

  Only a few minutes later, they were sitting in front of the team’s general manager, assistant general manager, club president, and head coach.

  “I see the whole gang is here,” Mack cracked, his smile wide as he shook hands. “Quick, let’s sign before anyone decides this is a bad idea.” They all laughed at that. It was no secret that the media had latched onto this ‘will they/won’t they’ story about Mack and the Blue Jackets.

  A few invited members of the media were there, but it was mostly low-key. The contract was already laid out on the table next to an expensive-looking pen. Mack was led to the chair in front of it and told exactly how to sign it, positioning himself for the camera.

  It was too surreal that he couldn’t quite grasp the enormity of the moment. Not yet. Ever since they fell in the playoffs, it’d been on his mind. If he was honest with himself, it occupied his thoughts even before that.

  He looked down at his sprawling signature, and then up at the faces surrounding him.

  “Mackenzie!” his coach boomed, putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking him out of his daze. “It’s damn good to have you back.”

  “I’m going to bring us that silver, Coach.”

  “That’s what we like to hear!” Mr. Simms walked up and shook his hand. “Son, I want you to celebrate tonight. Don’t worry about tomorrow, we have that covered.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  There were many more congratulations and some pictures before Mack was able to get out of there. He knew there’d be a press conference in the coming days, but for now, there was someone he needed to see.

  Josh was waiting for him outside the meeting room.

  “You heard?” Mack asked.

  “I did.” Josh’s grin spanned his face. “Congrats.”

  “Thanks.”

  They went outside, and Mack stopped to lean against the side of the building and catch his breath. He bent over with his hands on his knees, his heart pounding in his chest.

  “You okay?” Josh asked.

  Mack looked up at him with a tear-stained face and smiled.

  “Sorry, it’s just kind of hitting me.” He wiped his face. “I know guys get traded all the time, and it isn’t supposed to be a big deal. But I was scared. This is the only place that’s felt like home since my mom died.”

  Josh laughed and gave his friend a hug, pounding his fist against his back. “I’m glad you’re staying too. Now, come on. We’ve got some celebrating to do.”

  “Can I ask you a question?” Abigail heard in her ear.

  She turned with a surprised shriek. “You scared the shit out of me.” Her laugh echoed around the room as she threw a couch pillow at him.

  “My mom let you guys in?” Taylor asked from the other couch.

  “Yep.” Josh dropped down beside her and kissed her cheek.

  “So,” Grant said, kneeling on the floor in front of her. “That question?”

  “For the millionth time, no,” she said. “I don’t think your abs are as hot as Captain America’s. That’s just a fact of life.”

  “Amen to that,” Taylor said.

  “Well, thanks for that,” he said dryly. “But that’s not what I wanted to ask.”

  “You aren’t as smart as Iron Man either. Talk about high expectations for yourself.”

  “Wait a second,” Josh laughed. “Are these actual conversations you two have had?”

  Abigail shrugged. “I like The Avengers.” She turned back to Mack. “And your hair doesn’t hold a candle to Thor’s. Does that cover the bases?”

  “Abigail,” Mack snapped.

  “Umm, I’m going to get a glass of water,” Taylor said.

  “I’ll help.” Josh stood with her. “That water can be tricky to … uh … get.”

  They hurried from the room.

  “Okay, being serious now.” Abigail pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes.

  “I want you to come with me,” he said finally.

  “Where are you going?”

  “If I’m traded.”

  “Have you been traded?” Her eyes widened.

  “Hypothetically. There are schools everywhere, and you don’t have that much keeping you here.”

  “I have Taylor.” She shrunk back into the couch, unsure how to react.

  “You could still see her.” He reached forward and took her hand in his. Her skin warmed to his touch.

  “I don’t know if I love you,” she said.

  He tried to speak, but she put a finger to his lips. “But I think I will if you give me time. So I guess I’m saying yes.”

  He grinned, his sparkling teeth showing. “Then tonight, I want you to go somewhere with me.”

  “Where?”

  “Out to celebrate, because I just signed an extension with the Jackets!”

/>   She sat stunned for a moment before lunging forward and wrapping her arms around his neck, wincing as the movement aggravated her injuries. He fell back onto his butt.

  “You are cruel,” she said.

  He held her tighter, kissing the side of her head. “I couldn’t resist.”

  “So you’re staying?”

  “We’re staying.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Grant Mackenzie signs extension amid scandal.

  Few would argue that Grant Mackenzie of the Columbus Blue Jackets isn’t one of the top young centers in the league. He’s excelled at every level of hockey and continues to do so. This year, we’ve seen vast improvements in certain areas of his game that his coaches attribute to changes off the ice.

  Mackenzie’s short NHL career has been plagued with scandals, from being thrown out of bars to fights at charity balls. He has never been able to get his personal life together and today, on the day of his signing, a new event from his past comes to light.

  It was the summer after his rookie year in the league. Mackenzie lost his mother during the season, and it seemed to mess with him. Along with a few of his buddies, he went to Las Vegas.

  “Most people go there to have fun,” Mackenzie said. “I went there to forget.”

  Drugs, alcohol, prostitutes.

  Grant Mackenzie might have been able to forget, but others never will. Travis Landow never made it back. He overdosed in their hotel room.

  “We didn’t know what to do,” Derek, the third party present, said. “So I told Mack to run, and he did. I went to prison.”

  “I think about it every day,” Mackenzie said. “Travis will always be with me. Since then, everything I’ve done has been out of shame or guilt. I’ve learned the hard way that that isn’t the way to redemption. I need to be better. I need to do better. I can’t let it destroy me.”

  Today, Grant Mackenzie signs a contract extension. It is a two-year “show me” contract, minimizing the risk to the team if he continues to have off-ice problems.

  “We were aware of Grant Mackenzie’s past when we made the offer,” says general manager John Simms. “And we have every faith in him.”