Olivia

by Robert Oliver

  “I’ve tried removing it,” she said. “I do not feel whole without it.”

  “It will be difficult, but you will feel better once you are free.”

  “I’m not sure…”

  Lyndoni put her hand on her shoulder. “I know. You must trust me and allow me to do whatever is necessary to restrain you from giving into the addiction.”

  Her heartbeat quickened. “If I must.”

  “No, you have a choice. This is not required, but without it, you will not be able to free your mother. Furthermore, you will always feel as though you have betrayed yourself and the avatar. I will not force you to do this. The choice must be yours.”

  She slowly took off the amulet and placed it on the table. She immediately began to feel as though part of her was missing. She had trouble breaking her gaze from the hypnotic red stone.

  “I trust you, Lyndoni.”

  Chapter 46

  Frasie ate breakfast with the early-rising elders of the Ael’Shanar. Just before she finished, Olivia entered the cafeteria and made her plate, then took an empty seat by a window. Olivia wore a simple, gray dress and had her normally extravagantly styled hair in a bun. Frasie asked to be excused from her friends and walked to her table.

  “Olivia! You’re awake. And eating!”

  “I’m here, that’s all I can say so far.” She pointed to the seat across from her. “Do you want to join me?”

  She squealed in excitement and darted into the seat. “Of course! Oh, I’m so glad to see you out of your room.” She surveyed the wide assortment of breakfast food on her plate. “You must be hungry.”

  “I am, actually. But I’m going to take it slow.”

  “Good idea. So, Kytis’s ritual worked.”

  Olivia shrugged. “Seems so. I am still weak, but I am starting to feel things again. It’s been a long time.”

  “That’s great news. I was so scared I’d lose you.”

  Olivia ate a bite of eggs. “I was worried too. Thank you for staying by my side for so long. It meant a lot to me. I can never repay your kindness.”

  “That’s what friends do.”

  “Speaking of friends… where is Aiden?”

  She folded her arms and looked at the table. “I haven’t heard from him in a few days.”

  Olivia tilted her head. “Really? That’s surprising. You two are usually joined at the hip. What’s he doing?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Olivia paused, then ate another bite. “Hmm. I haven’t heard from Kytis since the ritual, either. I hope he’s alright.”

  “He’s been spending a lot of time painting,” she replied. “He’s so talented, you know?”

  “Indeed,” Olivia said. “I might go for a walk in Selandis today. Perhaps I’ll run into him.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready?”

  “No. But it’s worth a try, don’t you think?”

  Olivia’s reaction caught her off guard. She didn’t mean to diminish her progress but was concerned she’d run into Aiden. He might fill her with lies about Kytis, and that was the last thing she needed.

  “I’ll walk with you if you like.”

  Olivia smiled. “I’d love that. Don’t worry, I’ll stick to the upper city. Just sitting by the fountain would be a welcome change.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Are you alright, Frasie?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “You’re usually more… well… talkative. Did something happen between you and Aiden?”

  She took a deep breath. “I’m fine. But Aiden and I had an argument.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. What happened?”

  “Aiden didn’t like me posing for Kytis. I tried to tell him it was to save you, but he didn’t seem to care. I can’t believe how stubborn he can be. He doesn’t trust Kytis.”

  “I am grateful to Kytis for saving my life, but I do understand why Aiden would have a hard time seeing you pose nude for another man, regardless of your intentions.”

  She frowned. “Aiden has been suspicious of Kytis ever since he arrived in Selandis.”

  Olivia paused with a bite mid-air, then started to say something before she changed her mind.

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing,” Olivia replied. “It’s probably a misunderstanding. I’m sure you two will clear it up. You love him, don’t you?”

  “Yes, but—”

  Olivia wagged her finger. “There are no buts in love.”

  “I’m frustrated with him. I didn’t know he was so jealous.”

  “He never struck me as the jealous type,” Olivia said. “It certainly shows how much he cares. I could do for someone being jealous over me right now.”

  “I told him we needed some time apart.”

  Olivia gasped. “Frasie! Oh no. Because of his jealousy?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry. Please don’t write him off yet. You two are great together and I know you both care deeply for one another.”

  “I don’t know if he can change.”

  “We all can change. But that works both ways.”

  “He hit Kytis! What do I need to change?”

  “How would you feel if a woman stripped naked for Aiden?”

  She stood. “It’s not like that, Olivia. Kytis saved your life!”

  “I know, and I’m grateful. But… please, talk to Aiden. Don’t shut him out of your life. We’ve been through a lot together, you know?”

  She took a deep breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I… I am just so frustrated at him. I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t yell at you.”

  Olivia took her hand. “We’ve had a really rough time lately, and you’ve been babysitting me for far too long. It has to be stressful.”

  “I enjoyed spending time with you.”

  Oliva motioned out the window. “Let’s take that walk, Frasie. Perhaps we’ll find Aiden milling about the upper city. Wouldn’t that be good?”

  “Maybe…”

  Olivia drank her last sip of tea. “No maybe about it. Let’s go.”

  The two left the temple and walked the marble path toward the fountain. Olivia showed signs of tiring, so they took a seat on one of the benches that encircled it.

  Olivia squinted her eyes. “Such a strange thing to see the sun.”

  “I’m glad it’s a sunny,” she said. “I’m usually sad when it’s dark and dreary.”

  “I love dark and dreary. Skilla are better attuned to the night. We have superior night vision and can go longer without sleep than humans.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “I doubt my vision is as good as yours. Your aim with a bow is incredible.”

  She stared toward the archery field. “It’s been a while since I’ve practiced. I miss it.”

  “I suppose I’ve kept you from it.”

  “It’s not that. I haven’t been as interested in it lately. I’ve been so worried about you, working with Kytis on his paintings, and—”

  “Working with Kytis?”

  “Mmm hmm. He loves to draw me. He says it’s good practice to paint such a beautiful model.”

  “He’s painted you again after the nude portrait he made for the ritual?”

  “Yes,” she replied with pride. “I think he’s painted…” she counted in the air with her fingers. “Eight so far. I… I can’t help it. I love it when he paints me. I feel so… desirable.”

  Olivia raised an eyebrow. “Desirable?”

  “Yes. Olivia, before he painted me, I hadn’t given my body a second thought.” She looked down at her chest. “Other than having these, I might as well be a boy.”

  “It’s a bit more involved than that, but I understand what you mean.”

  “And see, just then, I would have made some comment about me being flat as a board. But I didn’t. I actually like the way I look—the way men look at me.”

  “The way Aiden looks at you?” Olivia asked.

  She paused. “Yes… I suppose.”
/>
  “I’m glad you’re gaining confidence. A woman who values her beauty is attractive, no matter how she looks on the outside. Men can sense that confidence, and many appreciate it.”

  She gazed into the distance and saw the roof of Kytis’s hotel. “Do you think Kytis is attractive?”

  “He’s not my type,” Olivia replied. “But I do find Aiden attractive.”

  She smiled. “He is kind of handsome.”

  Emira and several adepts approached. She and Olivia stood. “Good morning, High Priestess.”

  “Good morning. Olivia, it is good to see you up and about.”

  “Thank you. I’m not fully recovered, but I’m getting better.”

  “Kytis healed her with a Pictomancy ritual.”

  “That’s impressive,” Emira replied. “I have missed you and your wise counsel, Olivia.”

  “I’m sorry you couldn’t count on me for a while,” Olivia said. “But I’ll be fine.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for. I regret I couldn’t heal you.”

  “I appreciate your efforts. Please tell me, High Priestess, have you seen Aiden lately?”

  “I have,” Emira replied. A twinge of excitement stirred within her. “He told me he was leaving Selandis.”

  “Leaving?” she asked. Her excitement turned to worry. “Did he say anything about where he was going? When he’d be back?”

  “He told me he had business with his father in Ashmar. He didn’t mention when he’d return.”

  “Ashmar!” She turned to Olivia. “That’s at the edge of the Jeweled Woods. That’s… weeks away.”

  Olivia put her arm around her shoulder.

  “If I hear word from him, I will let you know,” Emira said.

  “Thank you.”

  Emira and her associates left.

  “Ashmar,” she repeated to herself. “What should I do?”

  Olivia looked toward the city’s gate. “I am not certain.” Olivia turned to her. “What do you want to do?”

  “Go after him.”

  Olivia smiled. “Then why are you still here?”

  Chapter 47

  It was easy for Niv to ignore the Amulet of Balance, at least for the afternoon. Playing with the kits, eating lunch, and otherwise engaging her mind with Lyndoni’s humorous anecdotes proved to be enough distraction, at least until dinner. The amulet rested within arm’s reach, and she knew she could fetch it anytime the craving became unbearable.

  After she ate, she usually returned to Farius’s home, but the thought of leaving the proximity of the amulet frightened her. Meditation, study, and relaxation usually filled her evenings, but these tasks required silence—and that silence, without the amulet around her neck, was deafening.

  She tried keeping Lyndoni engaged in conversation, but she could tell her mentor’s energy faded with each lingering topic.

  “I’m old, and I can’t stay up all night,” Lyndoni said.

  She rapped her fingers on the table. “I know.”

  “You can do this on your own.”

  “I’m not so sure,” she admitted. “It’s all I can do to keep from looking at it, let alone grab it and put it on.”

  Lyndoni gave a reassuring smile. “I know. If I can do it, you can do it.”

  “You’re not going to take it if I leave, are you?”

  Lyndoni eyed it. “Hmm, maybe.” Lyndoni immediately folded her hands and returned her attention to Niv. “I mean, never.”

  She nodded. “Alright.”

  “That was a joke.”

  “Sorry.”

  “I was trying to lighten the mood. Do you want to sleep here?”

  “I can?” she asked.

  “If you wish. You can curl up with your kits.”

  “Might be easier to resist the amulet if I’m a fox.”

  “Good idea.” Lyndoni picked up the amulet and put it on an upper shelf in the kitchen. “I’ve been short all my life. About time I’m taller than someone.”

  Lyndoni usually made her giggle, but not now. She sat on the floor, transformed into her vixen form, then curled up with her kits.

  Lyndoni patted her head. “Good night, Niv.”

  The soothing presence of her children brought a warm, familiar comfort to her psyche. Despite the nagging thought of the amulet, she drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  The grove’s persistent twilight made it difficult to judge time of day. Niv had become accustomed to a somewhat regular sleep schedule, but she never knew what time she woke up, adding to the confusion. She awoke a considerable time before Lyndoni. Persistent attention to her kits proved incredibly useful in quelling her nervous energy.

  Her children eventually drifted back to sleep, but she would not be so lucky. She couldn’t sleep anymore, and Lyndoni still snoozed. After a few moments of pacing, she decided going outside would be the best option. She turned back into a human, unlocked the door, then ventured out into the grove in hopes to distract herself from the gnawing desire to wear the amulet once more.

  There were a few Druids walking about in the center of the grove. They usually paid her little attention and continued about their business, but a young man stopped and talked to her. His reassuring brown eyes and calm demeanor set her at ease.

  He pointed to her neck. “I see you are free of your burden.”

  She touched her chest. It was hard to keep her mind off the amulet, and now the first Druid she ran into had to mention it.

  “Forgive me, we have not met. My name is Ma’tol.”

  “I’m Niv,” she replied. “Niv’leana.”

  “You are known throughout the grove, Niv’leana. Your deeds speak for themselves, and your father, Farius, is one of our most exalted diplomats.”

  She shuffled her feet, looking for a distraction. She still had difficulty with some of the nudity in the grove. “I didn’t know.”

  “Some of us keep up with the affairs of humans,” Ma’tol said. “I find them fascinating. Their political struggles are intriguing to me.”

  “Why did you call the amulet a burden?”

  “As you know, it prevents the rebalancing effects of magic. In other words, you escape the consequence of your action.”

  “Doesn’t sound like a burden to me,” she said.

  He looked closely in her eyes. “You are still in withdrawal. I understand. In time, you will see it as a burden.”

  “Why is it bad to not feel the pain of harmful magics?”

  “It is not just pain,” he said. “Balance is death. Imbalance is life.”

  She looked at him with incredulity. “I don’t know…”

  “All life, even the simplest plant, must take energy from something else to survive. Our very existence flies in the face of balance, does it not?”

  She stared out into the clearing. “I suppose.”

  “We are only truly in balance when we are spirits. Our physical forms demand imbalance.”

  “The Proctors would disagree,” she said.

  He nodded. “I know. But they walk a fine line, do they not? They may strive for balance, but they live in its margins.”

  She pointed to her heart. “Without the amulet, I… I feel what I have done. The sadness is growing.”

  “Good,” he said. “From the darkness, you will find light. But it will be your light, Niv’leana. That shines the brightest of all.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” she asked. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but… I fail to see why you care.”

  “All our wisdom is unique, Niv’leana. No one holds it in any sufficient quantity.” He pointed around the grove. “You would do well to listen to what each of us has to say. Take from it what you wish, leave the rest.”

  “I have been studying with Lyndoni,” she said. “She has taught me more than I could have imagined in the most unique ways.”

  He smiled. “Lyndoni is close in my heart. She has been through your trial, too. It made her stronger.”

  “I only hope I am strong enough
to save my mother,” she said.

  “You will succeed. But it matters not what I think. Work on your doubt, Niv’leana. That is one of your greatest foes.”

  “You are wise, yet you can’t be a day older than me,” she observed.

  He chuckled. “I am many hundreds of your years old. I spend a few weeks outside the grove, then retreat here to reflect on what I have learned.”

  She looked toward the welcome tree. “I wish I could do that, but I miss my friends. And my love.”

  “You should bring them here. A twilight wedding in the grove is an experience not to be missed.”

  “I might do that.”

  He raised his hand. “May I?”

  “Yes.”

  He placed the palm of his hand on her heart and closed his eyes. “Your heart is young. You have much to feel. Do not underestimate yourself, Niv’leana. When it is time—and, that time is soon—I, and the rest of the Druids, will be by your side to free Maeva.”

  He smiled then opened his eyes. “We all need a bit of help now and then. Be well.”

  “Thank you, Ma’tol.”

  He nodded, then walked away.

  A calm settled upon her. She inhaled deeply, noticing a substantial reduction of the pain in her chest from the amulet’s absence. Her cravings diminished, and now seemed manageable.

  On her walk back to Lyndoni’s house, she felt a degree of peace—an elusive sensation since she had removed the amulet. She recalled her meditations with the avatar, and the promise she had made. It seemed nearly impossible at the time, but now the idea of fulfilling her obligation wasn’t so daunting.

  She entered and found Lyndoni eating breakfast. Lyndoni offered for her to join her, so she made a plate and sat at the kitchen table.

  “I want to free the avatar in the amulet,” Niv said.

  “That will destroy the amulet.”

  “I know,” she replied. “I promised the avatar.”

  Lyndoni salted a tomato slice and ate it. “How are you doing this morning?”

  “Fine, actually. I slept all night, then woke up and had a great conversation with Ma’tol.”

  “That’s good,” Lyndoni said. “Forgive me, Niv, but I don’t think you are ready to take such a bold step. It hasn’t been a full day since you took off the amulet. The withdrawal effects can persist a week or more.”