All Night with the Cowboy

by Soraya Lane

  “Will we come back here?” she asked, still staring out. “If the storm passes?”

  Tanner came up behind—she could hear his bare feet padding over the tiles. “I don’t know, depends on the destruction, and whether my doctor thinks I need to stay longer.”

  She sighed and when his arms encircled her, she leaned back into him. Tanner’s lips found her neck and she shut her eyes for a moment, trying to forever commit to memory the feel of his chest and torso against her, his lips on her skin. It didn’t matter how many times she told herself that he didn’t meet the carefully selected criteria on her list for her perfect match—he was gorgeous and fun and charming and right now she was loving every second of being with him. Besides, finding a stable, serious man was never going to guarantee she didn’t get her heart broken one day, so to hell with her damn list.

  “Is it childish that I don’t want this to end?”

  Tanner stiffened behind her and she wished she hadn’t said it.

  “This as in us?” he asked. “Or the whole being on one of the most beautiful islands in the world?”

  She stayed against him, knowing that both were true but that there was only one she’d to admit to.

  “Being here,” she finally said. “It’s going to be hard going back to work and normal routines and things. I feel like I spend almost the entire year exhausted and then I limp through my time off and only just start to feel reenergized days before I’m due to start work again.” Her sigh was loud. “Sorry, I’m not complaining, I love what I do, I just get tired of being so tired sometimes. And I had my heart set on spending more time here.”

  His sad smile told her he understood exactly what she was trying to say. “Can you believe it’s Christmas tomorrow?” he asked. “Maybe we should have had the jet ready so we could fly home for it, since we have to leave early and all.”

  She actually just wanted to stay put. She wanted to enjoy more time in Fiji, she wanted to spend more time with Tanner, so she had enough new memories to last her a lifetime, even if they were in Nadi instead of Vomo. “I don’t mind. Whatever happens is fine by me, and I can always continue your treatment back home if I need to.”

  “Hey, isn’t your birthday close to Christmas?” Tanner moved to stand beside her as he spoke.

  “Um, yeah.” She smiled at the inquisitive look he was giving her. “It was actually the day we arrived here.”

  He froze. “You’re kidding me.”

  “Nope.” She laughed at the expression on his face, not letting on her surprise that he’d even roughly remembered when it was. “I celebrated a few days before we left—it’s fine, so don’t go feeling sorry for me. And I’m not a kid, so birthdays aren’t that big of a deal, although I did plan this vacation so I was away for the big day.”

  “Now I feel like a complete shit,” he said, reaching for her. “Happy birthday, beautiful.”

  When he spoke to her like that, his voice so soft and raspy, it broke away a little piece of her. She didn’t want him to be sweet, she wanted him to be rough and arrogant, like he had been before they’d left Texas and when they were on the plane. She’d needed him to be like that, so she wouldn’t fall head over heels in love with him all over again. Why did he do this to her when no other man had ever come close? Why did he have to be the one man on earth who had this effect on her, who made her question every decision she’d ever made?

  He kissed her and she melted, opening her mouth and kissing him back. She would have slipped her hands under his T-shirt and turned it into something more, but his cell phone rang and he groaned against her and kissed her one more time.

  “Sorry. It might be the helicopter pilot.”

  He grabbed his phone off the counter and she watched him move, jogging a few paces, bending, leaning, walking. He was holding himself differently now, moving like he should be moving, and she was amazed at how quickly he’d managed to recover from his injuries. It had been just shy of two weeks and he was doing incredibly well.

  “Everything okay?” she asked when he returned.

  “Pack up fast,” he said, brows furrowed. “We need to get off the island and back to the mainland as quick as we can. I’ve offered to pay for my own fuel and take supplies to some of the islands since they’re so short on pilots. I’ll bring anyone back with me who needs to come, too. Some of the workers leave their families for weeks on end to work at the resorts, and I’ll bring back anyone who needs it, not just tourists.” He gave her a pained expression. “Sorry, I’d rather be with you but I can’t not offer to help, not when I can fly for them and help people.”

  Lauren moved to give him a quick hug, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tight. She rocked back to look up at him, knowing that no matter what she told herself, she’d never ever be able to forget the time they’d spent together. He was actually a really decent human being, she’d always known that, and she just wished the rest of the world could glimpse his kindness, instead of presuming he was some unfeeling, rich son of a bitch.

  “You’re a good man, Tanner,” she whispered.

  “I’m an asshole just as much as I’m good,” he replied, his expression hard to read, eyes like big blue pools looking down at her. “Don’t go thinking I’m anything special, Lauren. I only do what I have to do, what anyone would do in my position.”

  She knew a lot of wealthy guys. They’d been her clients for years, and some of them were lovely and some of them were assholes, and she doubted any of them would have volunteered to fly in a storm and offer to help like that. The difference with Tanner was that he didn’t discriminate and he wasn’t so worried about his own safety that he wouldn’t help others in need. Maybe that came with the territory of bull riding—a job almost guaranteed to hurt him, but one he did anyway, not to mention the fact that most of the guys he rode alongside probably struggled to make ends meet, but they were still his friends.

  Lauren left him and went to pack, wishing she had time to shower and put on some makeup. But after Tanner got her to the mainland, she’d have plenty of time to do things like that—in between worrying about him.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me? Isn’t there government relief for this kind of situation?” Tanner said, sounding angry.

  Lauren poked her head out, wondering who Tanner was talking to. He looked frustrated as he paced back and forth, and she noticed again how strong he looked, how well he was moving.

  “Yeah, I’m well aware I’m not in the United States right now,” he said sarcastically, and Lauren wondered what the person on the other end of the line had said. She guessed it had been pointed out that, luxury islands aside, Fiji was a third-world country facing a serious natural disaster if the storm intensified.

  “Look, find out if they take Amex. Fill the goddamn helicopter with as much bottled water and whatever other supplies are needed before I get there, and I’ll pay for it all when I arrive.”

  She ducked back into her room and finished folding her clothes. So much for calling himself an asshole. He might talk the talk of being tough, but when it came to walking it, he was sweet to the core. And that’s when she realized why he’d been hurt so bad, because for all his macho talk and arrogant behavior sometimes, he was soft on the inside, and she’d gone and broken his heart. She only hoped that it hadn’t made him weary of all women, because she knew he’d make some lucky girl one hell of a husband one day. She blinked away tears. And a darn fine dad to some kids, too.

  * * *

  It was less than an hour later that Lauren was running across the grass, head ducked low, about to get into the same helicopter that had brought them to the island. The wind was starting to whip up and she hoped it was safe enough to go up in the bird. She threw her bag in and got in herself as Tanner followed close behind, stowing their two larger bags safely and climbing in behind her. The door was shut and the helicopter was preparing for lift off almost instantly, needing to get them to safety as soon as possible. Other guests had left during the afternoon too, the
island was going to be deserted of tourists soon, and it made Lauren sad to think of only the workers being left there. The beautiful restaurant no longer full of guests, serving delicious food and providing the most romantic of backdrops, and the pristine beach deserted.

  She took one last look at the Vomo sign, reminding her of the time she’d gone up in a helicopter and seen the Hollywood sign when she was in la-la land with its enormous white letters.

  She vowed to come back. One day she’d make that happen. Only the next time she came, she wouldn’t be with Tanner, and the thought sent a ripple through her body that left her mouth dry and her heart empty. She thought of Casey and her sister and tried to smile, imagining them here with her. It would be different, but they were her best friends in the world and it’d be just as good. Or if not just as good, then close.

  * * *

  Tanner went to the Hilton Fiji Beach Resort with Lauren and checked in, but the moment he saw her safely to one of the little golf carts with a friendly porter, used for ferrying guests and luggage about, he prepared to turn straight back around and leave.

  “You okay here on your own?” he asked, his arms wrapped tight around Lauren as he gave her one last hug and said goodbye.

  “I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about,” she said, kissing his cheek and stroking his shoulders. “Don’t try to be a hero, Tan. Just stay safe. Promise me?”

  He laughed, but he could tell she wasn’t joking. Her eyes were too wide, her hands clenched at her sides already.

  “I promise.”

  Tanner stared down at her and opened his mouth, stopping the words before they fell from his mouth. How easy it would have been to say “I love you.” To tell her that he cared for her, that she meant something to him, something so deep that he’d never be able to stop thinking about her if he tried. And lord knew he’d tried! So many damn times over the years, and yet she’d always been there, lurking in his mind. And his heart.

  “Goodbye,” he said gruffly, instead of anything that he’d regret later. “Hunker down and I’ll see you soon.”

  “Bye,” she replied, folding her arms around herself as she ducked down into the golf cart. He blew her a kiss and watched her go, the little white vehicle speeding off and narrowly missing colliding with another one coming in the opposite direction.

  Once she’d disappeared from sight, Tanner spun around and jogged the short distance across the open-air lobby and down the timber steps to where his taxi sat waiting. The sound of Fijian guitar music echoed behind him in the lobby as they pulled away, his window wound down, and within thirty minutes he was dropped back off at the airfield where the helicopters were being prepared. He’d flown almost as much as he’d driven a car, used to flying around River Ranch and helping out at muster time since he was a teenager, as well as flying for pleasure whenever he could. It was his happy place being up in the air, although today he was going to have to be extra careful. The winds were okay at the moment, but if they got any worse it would be too dangerous to stay up.

  He introduced himself, talked to the other pilots preparing to head out—most of them Australian and New Zealanders working in Fiji—and then he was going through the checks as the big bird warmed up and he waited for clearance.

  Within minutes he was lifting upward and then flying forward, and he settled into pilot mode, trying to push all thoughts of being naked on a beach with the one woman he couldn’t get out of his head, the one woman who’d always made him want more, made him refuse to accept anything less than what they’d had.

  Back when they’d broken up, he’d started to sleep around, which was fun for a while, but he’d compare every girl he met to Lauren. None of them were as beautiful, as strong, as smart, or just as … He didn’t know what it was about her, but no other woman had ever compared to her. But as the years had passed he’d never lost that pain deep inside, and he’d never forgiven her for ripping his heart out. Now, he knew it was dangerous to get too close to her—theirs was a rematch and it was just a fling, a blast from the past, which was why he needed to smarten up and stop letting his heart rule his head. No more thinking how much he could love her, how easy it would be to let her back in or to let down his own guard.

  He had a ranch to return home to, and he had to get himself ready to reclaim his title belt and show the world that he was still the best goddamn bull rider in the whole of Texas. He didn’t have time for anything serious, period, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to let Lauren close again. Because he’d experienced losing her once, and he wouldn’t ever put himself through that again. That was something he couldn’t ever let himself forget.

  The rain started to come down harder again as Tanner cursed the weather. They should have left the island earlier, and then he would have had time to help more people and get even more supplies where they needed to be. He’d been selfish not wanting to leave, and in doing that he might have jeopardized his chance to assist more people and communities in need.

  * * *

  Lauren sat in the restaurant that overlooked the pool on one side and the beach on the other. There were different-colored balls on each table that emitted a soft light, and the hum of a busy restaurant should have been enough to distract Lauren. But all she could think about was Tanner. Why wasn’t he back yet? How many trips was he going to do? What if something happened to him?

  She smiled at the pretty Fijian waitress who came past her table, a flower tucked behind her ear, and turned her attention back to her food. It was getting dark, so her worries for Tanner had trebled, but it was foolish not to eat. Her stomach let out a low growl as she finished her whole snapper and side salad. Once she was done she signed to charge to her room and gave the waitress a tip, before running to one of the waiting golf carts.

  “Thank you!” She moved under the plastic side cover keeping the rain out and tipped the driver when he pulled up outside her room. She ducked for cover and let herself in, flicking on a light and noticing that there was a noise coming from the bedroom.

  “Tanner?” she said quietly. She looked in and saw his big frame sprawled out on the king bed. He was still dressed in his shorts and T-shirt, but his tee was damp and he had shoes on still. Tears welled in her eyes seeing him sleeping like that, knowing how hard he must have been working, for the best part of the day, to go back and forth between the smaller islands, and she silently removed his shoes and found a blanket to place over him. Then she silently took her own shoes off and cuddled up under the blanket with him, shutting her eyes in a fruitless effort to stop the tears from falling.

  She loved him so much, this big, strong, handsome cowboy, but they weren’t meant to be. She’d hurt him too badly for him to trust her again, and she couldn’t give him what she knew he’d want one day. Not to mention she was under contract with the Rangers and he was preparing to go back on the circuit and restart his crazy-dangerous career.

  They’d had their chance and it hadn’t worked out, and just because they’d had great sex didn’t mean they were supposed to be together. When they were back home, old feelings would creep in, Tanner would start to resent her again for the pain she’d caused him. Her family would refuse to believe he’d changed, and maybe he hadn’t? A bull-riding husband who regularly put his life in jeopardy probably wasn’t her parents’ idea of dependable, and to be honest, it wasn’t hers either, and she wasn’t about to tell him to stop doing what he loved. She wouldn’t ask that of anyone, not ever.

  She snuggled against him and breathed in the scent of him, tucked her leg over his to steal some of his warmth, cheek to his chest. Tomorrow they might be gone, and she wanted one last night of sleeping beside him before they sat on opposite sides of the Ford family jet and headed back to Texas.

  The wind howled outside as Lauren held on even tighter to Tanner, listening to the rain pelt the roof as the storm intensified, leaving her wondering if they were going to make it until morning unscathed.

  Chapter 16

  ALMOST twenty-four hours later,
at the end of Christmas Day, Lauren looked back one last time before walking up the steps to board the jet. She settled into the same seat she’d sat in on the way over and stared out the window, not able to shake the feeling that something wonderful had come to such an abrupt end.

  “It looks terrible, doesn’t it?” Tanner said, pulling her from her thoughts. “It was pretty violent last night and this morning.”

  She nodded and kept staring. They were lucky their plane had been on standby, and they’d only been cleared for takeoff in the last hour. Before that the conditions had been too dangerous, but they decided to leave instead of staying on, which meant it had been exactly two weeks since they’d arrived.

  “I hate that this huge divide exists,” she admitted. “Here we are being whisked away in a private jet, and yet there are so many people stuck here on this island. Their homes have been ruined, their lives destroyed by one single, cruel strike of nature.”

  Tanner reached for her hand across the aisle and she squeezed his fingers back. They’d made love that morning, but it had been different. Before, they’d been relaxed and slow; or, when it was intense there was that amazing connection, being held in Tanner’s arms, nestled against his body as he thrummed his fingers across her body. But this time it had been different. He’d tucked into her from behind and they’d silently had sex, her rocking back into him, his mouth against her hair and his hand cupping her breast. After, he’d pressed a single kiss to her cheek and slipped out of bed and headed for the shower. It had been goodbye sex, and it was like neither of them knew what to say. Or how to behave.

  “Every single worker we met at Vomo is going to be okay. I’ve left money for each and every one of them to help, and I donated a hefty amount to the Red Cross this afternoon. We’ve done everything we can, Lauren, and a damn sight more than most who’ve fled Fiji over the last few days.”