All but Human

by Kris Austen Radcliffe

  He reached for his hearing aids. His fingers danced across the little titanium buds and the right one flipped into his ear.

  “Dogs,” she said, and pointed at the boys. “I need to let them out. That’s all,” she lied.

  But it wasn’t a lie if she made it reality. Nothing more than normalcy here. Nothing at all.

  He frowned again but nodded. “I think I left my t-shirt downstairs.”

  “Will you stay tonight?” She hadn’t planned on blurting out the question. She hadn’t thought that far ahead. But the ethereal need for forgiveness hung around him and he needed to know her unease was her own—and that she wanted him here beyond her… tantrum.

  He watched her carefully as he pressed in his left aid. “Whatever you need, Daisy, whenever you need it.”

  But he blinked and looked away.

  He looked embarrassed. She felt embarrassed. He saw a part of her she’d never shown anyone else and he hadn’t backed away. He didn’t run. He stayed and he…

  She looked up at the ceiling. He was about to go off to med school and now she’d trapped him because she needed him.

  “I’m not used to this.” She waved her hand in a non-specific arc. “To this level of…” Of what? Commitment? Friendship? The love he so clearly signed last night?

  Because it felt raw.

  Gavin pulled her into his arms. His hug felt warm and more protective than a hug from a man with no Shifter abilities should feel. “Talk when you want to.” He kissed her cheek.

  Could she talk about it? Should she? How do you talk about something so formless? She felt haunted.

  “Dogs first.” Daisy dropped her legs off the side of the bed and slowly stretched her arms over her head.

  “You are by far the hottest woman on the planet.”

  When she glanced over her shoulder, he was watching her with a sincere, amazed, and worshipful expression. He looked like a little boy who’d just been given his first robot toy, but with an edge of carnal desire that suggested the man next to her was no child.

  He shook it off and smiled. “That’s my clinical diagnosis. ‘Planet’s hottest woman.’ It’s going on your permanent record.” He threw his legs off the other side of the bed.

  Most, but not all, of her unease melted away when she felt the heat of a blush creep up her neck.

  Behind her, Gavin pulled on his boxer-briefs and swaggered his fine ass over to the dogs. “Who wants breakfast?”

  Pulling up his jeans, he hopped on one bare foot and followed her puppies out the bedroom door.

  Chapter Eighteen

  A couple of weeks later, Rysa and Gavin ate their lunches at a table close to one of the giant slabs of glass the Student Union called windows. The place bustled now that the weather had turned cold and all the students had returned from Thanksgiving break. A nasty draft made Rysa rub her hands together, and she wondered if her choice of sunlight over warmth had been a good idea.

  She glanced at her peanut butter sandwich but picked up her bottle of water instead. “You could have come along.” Dmitri was asking about you, she signed. Even with his new aids, Gavin still had difficulty in loud places, and the glare from outside and the eating of sandwiches made lip reading harder, so she signed too.

  Daisy had patient appointments during Rysa and Gavin’s lunch hour and couldn’t join them, so here they were together again, talking about boyfriends and girlfriends. At least they weren’t in the café under the Continuing Ed building. She didn’t like eating in there anymore.

  Gavin took a bite of his sandwich. “Mom would have killed me if I had flown to Branson for Thanksgiving with a woman she hasn’t met yet.”

  Give Daisy time, Rysa thought. She didn’t say it. Gavin already knew that Daisy needed patience.

  Rysa sipped at her water. “Oh!” She snapped her fingers and set down the bottle. “I took a picture of Daisy with Emergency Rations!” Quickly, she pulled out her phone. That’s one cute dog, she signed.

  Gavin chuckled. Daisy check Emmy over?

  Rysa held out her phone so he could see the photo. Yeah. We made sure. Vivicus didn’t do anything to the corgi, or damage her in any way. It was nice that Gavin cared, though.

  His eyes brightened when he looked at her phone. Then again, his eyes brightened every time he looked at Daisy. “Is Ivan back?”

  Rysa shook her head. No. She’s mopping up the last of the Seraphim, or at least that’s what Dmitri says.

  Though Rysa wondered how mopping up straggling Seraphim could take half a year. Or how Vivicus’s daughter, Vivienne, could have vanished so completely into the ether, leaving behind no traces at all.

  Not that it mattered, really. At this point, half the Fates at Praesagio were sifting through the what-was-is-will-be looking from all sorts of bogeymen, so the chances of anyone or anything sneaking up on them were infinitesimal.

  Dmitri’s people had it all under control, so Rysa vowed not to fret. She might be the Prime Fate of the Dracae, but some things were better handled by professionals, like dealing with other “professionals,” especially since she needed to concentrate on her classes.

  And healing Ladon.

  She stifled a frown as she took the phone from Gavin. Daisy was happy to see my mom and dad.

  He, though, did no such stifling.

  “It’s probably better you didn’t come.” We spent the entire time eating turkey and bored to death with stories about the medical facilities in Portland, she signed. Which wasn’t completely true. Everyone—Rysa’s family, Daisy’s family, Andreas, too—had spent a full hour and a half in rapt attention while her dad and Daisy told the story of how they’d helped each other in San Diego almost ten years ago.

  “I was thinking of asking Daisy to come for Christmas at my parent’s place.” Gavin scratched the back of his head. “After your wedding. Maybe she’ll fly home with me.” Do you think she’d come? he signed.

  She leaned forward and rubbed her hands together again. “Are you asking me to look? Because I’m not going to look. So don’t be mad, okay?”

  Gavin chuckled again. No, I’m not asking you to look.

  Good. Rysa took another bite of her sandwich. Daisy definitely knew where to food-shop. The bread was tasty and the peanut butter creamy and smooth.

  “I’m sending applications to seven med schools.” Gavin looked away when he took another bite.

  Rysa took her time chewing. He wouldn’t ask about dates with his sweetie but she could tell by his expression he really wanted to know if he’d get into the school he wanted.

  Asking a general question of her seers wouldn’t hurt. What will be the emotional outcome of Gavin’s school choices? she thought.

  Her present-seer flicked out, followed closely by her future-seer. No images, she chided, and waited, hoping for a sense, and not a prophecy that would self-fulfill.

  Rysa grinned and held up her cupped hands as if shaking a ball. She tipped her head, faking looking at her pantomimed oracle’s underside. Signs point to yes, she signed.

  Gavin shook his head. “And what signs would that be, Ms. Captain Super-Fate?”

  Rysa laughed and cupped her hand one more time. Ask again later.

  You’re no help, he signed.

  She crumpled up her garbage and stuffed it into the lunch bag. “Got class in fifteen minutes.”

  “Yeah.” Gavin watched a pair of women walk by. “Wait for Daisy at the clinic and walk home with her tonight, okay?”

  Now a real frown worked across Rysa’s lips. What about you? she signed.

  “It’s midday. There are a lot of people around.” I’ll walk fast, he signed. Gavin stuffed his trash into his bag. I promised Dragon I’d help him access a new site today.

  Rysa’s chair scraped across the floor when she stood. “He appreciates everything you do, you know.” She swung her bag onto her back. “So does Ladon. Don’t let the scowls fool you.”

  Gavin didn’t chuckle. He didn’t frown, either. He just watched the other students
, his face flat. “Your fiancé is not a happy man.”

  Rysa dropped back into her chair. “The wedding will cheer him up.” She, too, watched the students for a long moment. Everyone looked as cold as she felt. “I look for him every morning. I look for you and Daisy and for me. If I dropped out and took him home, he’d be worse.”

  She tapped her finger on the table. He’d be worse, but she’d have a lot less to worry about. “He’d blame himself for me ending my schooling with one semester left. He’d fidget because he’d worry about Daisy and you.” A sigh rose from her throat before she could stop it. “And he’d have to deal with an angry dragon who had his doctoring studies cut short.”

  Gavin tapped his finger on the table, mimicking her. “True.”

  “Look, I have class.” Rysa swung out of her chair again. Are you staying for dinner tonight? she signed.

  Gavin sniffed. “I haven’t eaten at my place since Halloween.”

  “I think you should move in for real.” Rysa zipped up her jacket.

  “I haven’t talked to Daisy about it.” Gavin crossed his arms. “We’re taking things slow, hence the lack of Thanksgiving family meetings.”

  She patted his shoulder. Reply hazy ask again, she signed.

  Gavin shook his head. “Whatever happened to outlook good? Why can’t I have some straightforward forward-looking goodness?”

  Rysa winked as she walked away. “Bring me some straightforward and good chocolate and we’ll talk about it, bestie of honor.”

  Gavin waved her away. Later, bridezilla.

  Rysa turned around, intent on running for the Student Union doors, and smacked headlong into a tall, willowy blonde with huge gray-blue eyes. “Oh!”

  The blonde blinked. Her hand shot toward her face and Rysa thought for sure she was going to cover her open mouth with her fingers. But her hand curled around an enormous, gaudy, gold ring on an equally enormous and gaudy gold chain hanging around her neck. She looked to be younger than Rysa, probably a freshman, and had a strange child-like vibe to her.

  Child-like, in that she’d pull the wings off butterflies and crush toads for the chuckles. Rysa shook and stepped back.

  The blonde blinked again, first looking at Rysa’s face, then over her shoulder at Gavin, then back to Rysa. “Excuse me,” she said.

  The weirdness of the moment caught Rysa off guard and her seers erupted uncalled and just as startled as she felt. All three whipped around the girl.

  All three saw nothing. Not nothing as in blanked-out the way Derek was now, but nothing as if the blonde had no highlights to her life. She came to school every day and she went to class every day. She dated cute guys. She was going to be a nurse because that seemed to be a good thing to do with her life but honestly, she didn’t care.

  This girl embodied the flat boredom of suburbia.

  “Sorry I bumped into you,” Rysa said.

  The blonde wasn’t looking at her. She watched Gavin stand up and push in his chair. “Is he your boyfriend?”

  Why the hell would you want to know that? Rysa thought. But the reason was painfully obvious: The girl reflected life instead of living it. And reflecting a cute boyfriend was one way to define her otherwise undefinable life.

  “He’s my soon-to-be brother-in-law.” Why she said it, she didn’t know. Did she mean to throw Derek’s weight behind Gavin? Or were her seers subconsciously trying to tell her something about Gavin and Daisy’s relationship? Either way, the blonde didn’t look as disappointed as Rysa expected.

  “Oh,” she said. Her hand on the ugly ring tightened. “He’s cute.”

  “Excuse me. I need to get to class.” Why hadn’t the girl moved to the side?

  The blonde blinked again. “Sorry.” She stepped back. Slowly, she looked away from Gavin and deeper into the Student Union.

  Without nodding, without acknowledging Rysa at all, she hurried toward the coffee shop and the long rows of student-filled tables, deep into the building.

  And, hopefully, a long way from Gavin and Rysa.

  Chapter Nineteen

  After dinner that night, Rysa let the dogs out into the yard while Daisy and Gavin cleaned up. They sniffed along the ground, as dogs do, and refused to come when she called.

  “What are you two doing?” She stepped off the stoop into the winter air and rubbed her upper arms. She’d have to get her jacket if she went any farther into the yard.

  I will call them. Dragon twisted his neck into the mudroom and did his purr-call, but they ignored him, too. Radar sniffs at the grass. The beast pointed.

  Gavin, a dishtowel in his hand, walked out onto the stoop. “What do you have there, boy?” He slapped his leg to call the dog, but Radar only looked up.

  “Daisy!” he called. “The boys found something.”

  Ragnar ran past, to join his brother. Both dogs circled a bramble bush and refused to come.

  Gavin threw the towel over his shoulder and walked out to the dry bushes. He dug down, peering at where the dogs sniffed. “Well, I’ll be damned.” He stood up, smiling. “Looks like Daisy was right about Miss Kitty.”

  “Kittens?” Rysa bounced on the balls of her feet.

  Tiny, sweet meows came from the bush.

  “Daisy!” She dashed into the kitchen and pointed out the door, into the cold. “The boys found Miss Kitty! She had her babies in the bushes!”

  Ladon set down his coffee, a generous smile brightening his face as he watched her bounce around the kitchen. “You’re excited.” He walked around the island and snagged an empty box off the floor of the mudroom.

  Rysa leaned against his side and quickly kissed his shoulder. “Of course I’m excited.”

  Ladon kissed her forehead and walked through the door. Soon, he and Gavin returned with momma and her litter. Daisy checked them one by one, looking for injuries and bugs, before placing a warmed bag of rice and several towels in the box for the little family.

  “They’re so small!” Rysa stroked Miss Kitty’s gray head. The cat purred from inside her new warm and cozy box, and continued to lick and pull her kittens close.

  Dragon peered over her shoulder at the litter, his head tilted and his big cat eye watching the squirming, purring jumble of paws and fur.

  On the other side of the kitchen, Ladon returned to sipping his after-dinner coffee. He shook his head. “No, we can’t keep one.”

  The four kittens were a bundle of monochromatic joy evenly divided between two sleek and two fluffy balls of kitty wonder—one silver and gray tabby, one gray kitten, a white one that looked like a puff ball, and one larger, fluffy black kitten. They were, at least color-wise, perfectly suited to the Dracae.

  “Why not?” Rysa asked. Having a purring cat around might be nice. She could have used one several mornings this week. A couple of times she’d woken sans Ladon and Dragon with a head full of fears and flightiness because she hadn’t slept well.

  Ladon set down his mug. “They kill song birds.”

  The cave was full of song birds. Rysa didn’t know how they got in, but she knew of at least ten nests in the orchids and at least a dozen more up in the vents. They had birds and bats and small, scurrying things everywhere. The cave’s ecosystem would take years to sort and understand.

  The small, scurrying things could use some control, though. “Maybe Daisy could train the kitty not to go after the birds? A cat could be useful. I saw a mouse in the baths before we left.”

  Daisy looked up from washing dishes. “It’s an easy fix, especially since they’re so young.” She set a dish in the rack. “It’s harder to enthrall out behaviors of older animals.”

  Ladon walked over and wrapped his arms around Rysa’s waist. “You really want a cat?” He kissed her temple.

  Across the kitchen, Gavin dropped a plate into the dishwasher and cuddled up to Daisy in exactly the same way Ladon cuddled up to Rysa. Yes! danced around inside Rysa’s head. But seeing Daisy blink and smile even though she looked more apprehensive than she should, made Rysa want to
pace.

  Why did Daisy still look apprehensive? Gavin was a good guy. Was it because she was seven years older than him? Not that it mattered with Shifters. Most Shifters. At least not for a couple of decades of her not aging and him getting old and wrinkly.

  And she’d been frowny with Rysa since Thanksgiving. Something about her final labs and noise and distractions. Maybe Rysa should ask her seers and—

  “Do you want to go upstairs?” Ladon whispered as he pressed his lips to her ear. “Dragon says your mind is racing.”

  “Oh!” Rysa curled her arms around his waist. Her mind was racing. And she wanted to pace the kitchen floor.

  She could use some Ladon time.

  I wish to sleep, Dragon signed. He stretched out like the kitties in the box, and sauntered toward the stairs.

  “What about the kittens?” Miss Kitty and her brood were quite a distraction.

  “I think we should name them White Cat, Black Cat, Gray Cat, and Stripy Cat.” Gavin kissed Daisy’s cheek.

  Daisy smirked. “Sure thing, Mr. Literal.”

  “Hey, Dragon started the literal naming business, not me.” Gavin kissed Daisy’s cheek again.

  A disapproving no no no fluttered around inside Rysa’s head. Her seers did not like his suggestions. She pointed at the fluffy kittens. “Astro and Retro.” Smiling, she pointed to the tabby. “Booster.” And the little gray short hair. “Soyuz because she looks like a Russian Blue.”

  “Now I feel bad about giving Miss Kitty a boring name.” Daisy started the dishwasher and wiped her hands on a towel. The calm, summery scent of dinner’s cucumbers still wafted through the kitchen but Daisy’s stance seemed rigid, as if she was fighting an internal need to bounce, just like Rysa.

  Her future-seer didn’t sense an attack or anything bad. All she saw was the same-old classes and walks to and from campus. With the wedding, she asked only about safety. Marrying Ladon and Dragon was an event she wanted to experience in real-time, not in “I saw it so now it’s a memory but now it’s playing out while it’s really happening” déjà vu.