A Choice of Secrets

by Barb Hendee

  And what was troubling Christophe? He had no idea the child she carried was not his own.

  I needed to learn more.

  As soon as I was dressed, I left my room and headed back down to the main floor. There, I stopped one of the house guards.

  “Could you direct me to the great hall?”

  “Yes, my lady. Continue down this passage to the main foyer, and then turn right. You’ll soon see the arch.”

  “Thank you.”

  Following these straightforward directions, I walked to the foyer and turned right. Up ahead, I saw Erik passing through a stone archway at the end of another passage, and I followed him into the great hall.

  The room was aptly named. It was enormous. Crossed swords, tapestries, and coats of arms decorated the walls. Twenty-four chairs surrounded a long oak table. At present, the vast chamber contained only one occupant. Chloe stood by a hearth so large several men could have easily stood inside it. Emanating warmth from the flames called to me.

  Erik and I moved to join her and in spite of everything, I was glad for a moment for the three of us to be alone. Chloe wore an amber silk gown with the waistline let out, and she watched us approach with a grateful expression. I wanted to pretend this moment was one of days past, when the three of us had no secrets from each other.

  “Good Gods, Chloe,” I teased, “in at least one your letters, you might have warned me what it would take to reach you here.”

  At my joke, the slightest glint of mischief came into her eyes. “Did you manage to climb the stairs by yourself or did Erik have to carry you on his back?”

  Erik laughed. “I rowed her across the sea. She could bloody well carry herself up the stairs.”

  “Yes, I managed,” I answered, “but all the while, I kept picturing Lady Richelle de Miennes on a visit, huffing and puffing up those stairs while holding one of her great velvet skirts above her ankles.”

  Chloe rarely laughed, but her eyes lit even brighter at my description, and she kissed the side of my face. “Nicole, I am so glad you’re here.”

  Just then, a cold voice sounded from behind me.

  “The Lady Richelle de Miennes was a friend of my father’s, and I would thank you not to speak of her with such disrespect.”

  At the sound of this voice, Erik’s features tightened. Turning, I saw a woman and two children, a boy and a girl, standing in the archway. The woman was tall and gaunt, perhaps thirty years old. She wore a high-necked black gown with a starched white collar. Her hair was pulled into a severe bun at the back of her neck—so tightly it seemed to stretch the skin at her temples.

  The boy was about ten, with dark hair and gray eyes like Christophe. The little girl was perhaps eight. Her hair was brown like mine, but it was pulled back into a bun as tight as the woman’s. Both children wore serious expressions.

  Chloe crossed toward them immediately. “Please don’t mind us, Mildreth. We meant no harm. Lady Richelle was always a loved and welcome guest at White Deer Lodge.”

  Her words were not surprising. This would be a typical polite response from Chloe should someone have taken offense, but the tone of voice took me aback. She sounded more than apologetic, almost groveling, as if begging forgiveness for having smiled at a small joke.

  Erik’s jaw was still tight and I thought on the name Chloe had just used: Mildreth.

  This woman was Christophe’s sister.

  “I don’t think you’ve met my sister, Nicole,” Chloe continued. Looking back to me, she said, “Nicole, this is Lady Mildreth, and her children, Jordan and Amanda.”

  “It is a pleasure to meet you,” I said to Mildreth. “Lord Christophe has been so good to our family.”

  She ignored Erik completely and looked me up and down without speaking, as if trying to get the measure of me. I smiled at Amanda, who started slightly, as if uncertain how to respond.

  Christophe and Captain Fáuvel came through the archway together, speaking of the rotation of the guards down on the lowest portcullis, but they stopped upon entering the hall and seeing everyone.

  The captain bowed to Chloe. “My lady.”

  She appeared glad to see him. “Captain, I’m glad you’ve joined us for dinner. It is a treat for us to have guests tonight.”

  I asked Chloe quietly, “Is it rare for you to have dinner guests?”

  “Yes. Normally, it is just the four of us.”

  Christophe walked over and took Chloe’s hand. “Are you feeling well tonight?”

  He sounded genuinely concerned, like a solicitous husband, and when she looked up at him, I saw warmth in her eyes.

  “Yes, my lord. And I’m so happy to have my brother and sister with us.”

  “I am happy too.”

  Whatever was troubling them, it had nothing to do with a lack of fondness for each other. I could see that immediately. They may not love each other, but it appeared they had fostered at least a friendship.

  Then what was wrong?

  With Erik’s input, the men again began discussing the watch rotation, and Chloe and I drifted to the other side of the hearth.

  Mildreth walked over to join us, looking Chloe up and down. “Did I hear you say you were feeling well tonight?”

  “Yes, sister,” Chloe answered—and it rankled me to hear her call Mildreth by my title. “Just a little pressure on my hips.”

  Mildreth studied her with cold eyes. “That is due to the child moving downward nearer to the time of birth. It normally does not begin so early. I fear you will have an uncomfortable few months.”

  Chloe paled, but nodded. “Yes, I fear so too.”

  But I looked to Mildreth’s face. She knew. Or at least she suspected. Had she been throwing subtle taunts at Chloe? Was she the real threat here? If so, why wasn’t Chloe fighting back? Her whole life, she’d handled noblewomen with much greater tact than Mother or me, but her polite demeanor was a type of armor. In a lion’s den of “ladies,” she could more than hold her own.

  I barely recognized this cowed young woman before me.

  Several servants entered carrying trays of food. The smell of savory fish pie wafted through the air, and I realized I was hungry. Normally, the lady of the house would announce dinner, so I waited for Chloe to step forward.

  But Mildreth straightened. “Dinner is served. Will everyone please take a seat?”

  Chloe’s eyes had dropped to the floor. This astonished me and I looked back to Mildreth.

  She would bear watching.

  * * * *

  Dinner proved a somewhat strained affair and Chloe retired not long after.

  As I’d been traveling all day, I also excused myself and no one found this impolite. The warmth and comfort of my guest bed was welcome. But in spite of my weariness, I tossed and turned for much of the night.

  Chapter 5

  The next day, mid-morning, Christophe, Erik, Chloe, and I met in the hall for breakfast.

  “Will Mildreth not be joining us?” I asked.

  “No,” Christophe answered. “She rises early, so she can check on the kitchen staff and checks the daily menus.”

  Mildreth oversaw the menus? Thinking back, I remembered Christophe once having said something about his sister managing the household, but I’d expected Chloe to make her own position clear upon arriving. She was particular when it came to menus. If few guests visited here and Mildreth managed the household, what did Chloe do?

  At present, I felt it best not to ask.

  Instead, I asked Erik, “You’ll be staying with us today?”

  He nodded. “Yes. I can stay today. I’d stay longer, but Father needs me back.”

  He was probably delaying his departure only because Christophe wished him to stay.

  “Well, then we should make the most of it,” I said and asked Christophe, “Does your village have an open-air market th
is time of year?”

  He seemed to find this an odd question, but he nodded. “Yes.”

  “Then the four of us should don cloaks and go visit. I’ve rarely seen a village outside the lodge, except when I go out with Mother to help those who’ve fallen ill when a fever passes through. I would enjoy having you and Chloe show me your village.”

  This idea might not have occurred to him, but it seemed to appeal.

  Turning to Chloe, he asked, “Do you feel well enough? Please say if you don’t. We won’t leave you here alone.”

  I couldn’t help a rush of affection for him. He was kind to her.

  “No, I feel well enough,” she answered almost eagerly. “I should like to show Nicole the village.”

  I smiled. “We can purchase sweets and gifts for Mother.”

  “Does anyone care what I think?” Erik asked.

  “Not at all,” I answered, “but I know you like a good open-air market.”

  So, the four of us dressed warmly and headed outside the keep to walk through the island village. Christophe came to life, explaining the history of the smith and the stables. He was clearly a beloved lord and people came out of shops to greet him warmly. I chatted with several of the merchant wives and they were delighted to see Chloe heavy with a coming heir.

  Chloe basked in their kindness and she breathed in the fresh air.

  “Don’t you and Christophe ever do this by yourselves?” I asked.

  Almost puzzled, she shook her head, “No, we’ve not…Over the winter, we just settled into the habit of staying inside.”

  “Well, you should at least take Amanda sometimes. I’m sure the child could use an outing.”

  “Amanda?” Chloe repeated. “Oh, no. Mildreth would never allow that.”

  Poor Amanda. It seemed Mildreth certainly liked things her own way. But I was determined not to spoil the day for Chloe and changed the subject. By the time we reached the market, it was mid-afternoon and so we stopped for lunch at an eatery first, dining on delicious sausages and fresh rolls and chatting of small things.

  Then we went shopping.

  Chloe and I labored over some purchases for Mother, deciding in the end on several ribbons and a box of sugared almonds. Erik bought a dagger sheath for Father.

  I kept a close eye on Chloe. She was much closer to her delivery date than Christophe knew, and I made sure she didn’t wear herself out. But as opposed to growing weary, she appeared to draw on the life and fresh air around her.

  Before I knew it, the afternoon was waning.

  Christophe looked up. “It’s later then I realized. We should head back.”

  “It’s been a wonderful day,” I said. “I like your island very much.”

  He nodded with pride and I could see how much my words pleased him. He was proud of this place. But Chloe looked around as if such a thought had never occurred to her.

  “It has been a lovely day,” she said slowly.

  We walked back to the keep, passing through the gatehouse and into the courtyard. By this point, Chloe was walking a little slowly and the rest of us slowed our pace. Still, I could see she was happy, and I knew we’d not done wrong to take her outside.

  As we passed through the front doors into the foyer of the keep, she said, “I think Mother will like the robin’s-egg blue ribbons best. She could use them to brighten up her tan muslin. It’s been looking a little…”

  She trailed off, her eyes fixed ahead, and I followed her gaze.

  Mildreth stood in the center passage, in her black dress with its starched white collar, clasping her hands in front of herself. Her expression was tight, as if she’d caught us all committing a crime. She had two of the house guards standing behind her.

  “There you are,” she said. “I was about to send the guards searching. I had no idea where you’d gone.”

  Christophe walked forward. “We went into the village, but I’d not planned to stay out all day and I should have sent word. It was thoughtless of me not to.”

  She nodded tightly and he seemed to think the matter at an end.

  “I’ll go and clean up for dinner,” he said.

  “Me too,” Erik put in, clearly eager to be away from Mildreth.

  I reached out to Chloe. “We should go and change as well.”

  But once the men left, Mildreth walked straight to us, glaring at Chloe. “Men do not always think in such matters,” she said, “but as you are carrying the next child in the de Fiore line, you might abstain from flouncing carelessly about the village where anything could happen.”

  Chloe dropped her gaze. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry.” All the enjoyment of the day was gone from her face.

  This was too much for me. Squaring off with Mildreth, I said, “We were hardly flouncing and Lord Christophe was with us the entire time. A bit of fresh air will do both Chloe and the child good. You might consider some for yourself.”

  Ignoring me, Mildreth kept her eyes on Chloe. “I trust you understand me.”

  “Yes. I do. Now I must go and dress for dinner.”

  Turning, she fled down the passage as quickly as her condition would allow. I glared back at Mildreth, but she walked away.

  * * * *

  Less than an hour later, I came to a decision.

  Leaving my guest room, I asked a servant woman for directions to Chloe and Christophe’s private apartments, hoping I might catch Chloe alone. The question confused the woman slightly, but she was kind enough to escort me up one floor where the family kept their rooms.

  “Thank you,” I said by way of dismissal.

  Once alone, I knocked. “It’s me.”

  “Nicole?” Chloe said from the other side of the door. “Come in.”

  Upon entering, I found myself in a sitting room with thick carpets and low couches. In the far wall, I saw an open doorway into a bedroom. There was a white lace comforter on the bed and flowers in vases on the tables. I wondered if Christophe minded the feminine décor. Chloe sat on a low couch, wearing the same amber silk from last night.

  “I’ve not let out enough gowns,” she said quietly, as if she needed to make excuses to me. “I should have a few more altered.”

  Her gowns meant nothing in the moment. “You and I need to talk. Send word that the day’s outing has made you weary, that you won’t be down for dinner, and that you and I will eat on trays here in your rooms.”

  Hope passed across her features, followed by despair. “No. We could never do that. Mildreth would not approve.”

  Walking toward her, I said, “Chloe, you are lady of Whale’s Keep. You can have dinner in your rooms any time you please.”

  She stared at me. Then she rose and pulled on a bell rope.

  A moment later, the same servant woman who had helped me opened the door. “My lady?”

  “Have Lord Christophe informed that I am a little tired from today’s outing,” Chloe instructed, sounding more like the woman I knew. “Assure him that I’m well, but would prefer to eat here in my rooms with my sister. Then have the cook make two dinner trays and bring them up.”

  “Yes, my lady.”

  Once the woman was gone, Chloe sank back down on a couch.

  Sitting down beside her, I said, “There are things you need to tell me and things I need to tell you. Why do you not stand up to Mildreth?”

  “You couldn’t know what I’ve been through since arriving here, locked inside the place like a prisoner, constantly…fearing…fearing…”

  “Fearing what?”

  Perhaps she would tell me, and I wouldn’t need to admit I already knew her secret.

  “I cannot tell you,” she whispered.

  With a sigh, I realized I’d have to do this the hard way. Reaching out, I grasped her hand. “Chloe, I know.”

  “You know what?”

  “I know t
he child is not Christophe’s, that it is Julian Belledini’s, and that you are now suffering in fear of discovery.”

  Her entire body stiffened, and at first she said nothing. She just breathed. Then she asked, “And how would you know any of that?”

  “Because I was standing in your closet when you told Julian, and I heard everything you two said to each other.”

  She whirled toward me, her expression a mask of rage, but I was glad to see her anger. It meant she could still feel something besides fear.

  But before she could speak, I grabbed her shoulders. “I have protected you! I have protected your secret. I’m here to protect you now. I would do anything to help you.”

  All the rage bled from her face. Her breath caught and her lip quivered. “Oh, Nicole. You have protected me, haven’t you? You’ve kept this secret. I thought I was alone.”

  I pulled her close. “You’re not alone.” Then I drew back. “But you need to tell me what you’re up against. Christophe seems a kind husband with no suspicions at all. You’ve had nothing to fear from him yet. What is Mildreth holding over you?”

  “Holding? Nothing. But she hates me. Her own marriage is a travesty and her husband has no interest in their children.”

  “Husband? I assumed he was dead.”

  “No. She is married to Baron Phillipe de Caux. He’s minister of finance to the king and for several years, early in the marriage, Mildreth lived with him at court. But for some reason she wished to give birth to Amanda here, so halfway through her pregnancy, she traveled here with young Jordan, but not her husband. Shortly after Amanda’s birth, the baron sent a letter saying he didn’t want Mildreth back. This was eight years ago. Christophe and Mildreth’s father was still alive then, and of course he wished to protect his daughter and grandchildren. He put her in charge of the house. She has ruled as lady ever since.”

  “So, she feels her position here is all she has left, and that’s why she won’t share duties with you?”