A Choice of Secrets

by Barb Hendee

  As we sat, I asked Christophe, “I’ve heard there are cattle on the island. From where did they come?”

  “From where they came originally, or how they were transported, is unknown. Even my grandfather didn’t know that story. We assume calves were brought over and carried up, but we’ve had cattle on the island for as long as anyone can remember.”

  “Do you keep horses?”

  He nodded. “A few.”

  “Then are you teaching young Jordan to ride?”

  Christophe blinked as if such a thought had never occurred to him. “To ride?”

  “Of course. You are his uncle.” I spoke directly to Jordan. “Would you like your uncle to teach you to ride?”

  Jordan pulled back in his chair as if no one had ever spoken to him, but Mildreth offered me a level gaze.

  “He is too young,” she said.

  “Erik told me he could ride before he could walk,” Chloe said. “I imagine so could Christophe.”

  I don’t believe she intended these comments as a slight, merely as an observation.

  But hatred glowed from Mildreth’s eyes. “And how are you feeling tonight after your…activities this afternoon?”

  “I am well,” Chloe answered carefully. “Thank you.”

  “I have been concerned for your health,” Mildreth returned, “and feel it’s best to employ a midwife now. I’ve spoken to a woman from the village, someone worthy of respect, and she has agreed to tend you.”

  Suddenly, I was on guard. “There’s no need. My mother has served as a midwife since before I was born and I’ve assisted her many times. Part of the reason I’ve come is to act as Chloe’s midwife.”

  “Of course, my dear,” said Mildreth. “But Chloe may be carrying a boy, the heir to Whale’s Keep. Such a birth happens only once in a generation. There is no reason why both you and a village midwife should not attend to Chloe.” Turning to Christophe, she said, “Do you not agree, brother?”

  Taking a bite of chicken, he said, “If you think it wise.”

  Chloe did not say a word through this exchange, but her eyes showed fear.

  “I do,” Mildreth answered. “More, this midwife would like to conduct an examination tomorrow, just to make sure all is well and to get an idea how soon the child might arrive.”

  And then I understood what she was doing. She was going to have a midwife in her own employ perform an examination that would most likely result in the revelation that Chloe’s body was ready to give birth any day.

  Even Christophe would have questions after that.

  With bloodless lips, Chloe whispered, “I would prefer not.”

  “But it would be for your own good,” Mildreth answered, “and the baby’s.”

  When Chloe fell silent with her eyes on her plate, I realized that even at the height of her courage and strength, she would not have been able to give voice to objecting to the indelicacies of this situation.

  But I was not squeamish about openly addressing elements of the human body.

  Looking to Christophe, I said, “This would not be good for Chloe or the baby. Do you understand what Mildreth means by ‘examination’? This midwife, a stranger, will put her fingers and possibly part of her hand up inside of Chloe.”

  Appalled, Christophe started at my blunt and rather vulgar description. Men were ignorant in such matters—but this was not their fault.

  “As all seems well at present,” I went on, “and Chloe seems to be heading toward a normal childbirth, I see no reason to subject her to such an indignity now. Do you?”

  He shook his head. “No. I don’t…” He trailed off and looked at Chloe. “What do you think?”

  “I would prefer not,” she repeated quietly and her distress was clear.

  “Then, no,” Christophe said. “Mildreth, tell your midwife that Nicole is skilled and she will see to the birth of the child.”

  Mildreth opened her mouth to argue, but closed it, staring at me. Her hatred had a new target.

  * * * *

  That night, after dinner, I sat with Chloe in her room, as fear caused her tremble.

  “Mildreth knows,” she whispered, sounding manic. “She knows!”

  “She doesn’t know,” I said. “She only suspects.”

  “She’s been taunting me for weeks now. She told me that Amanda was a little late in coming, but that Christophe held her the night she was born. Amanda had a full head of hair and tiny fingernails.” Chloe’s eyes shifted back and forth. “Then she told me Captain Fáuvel’s wife had a child a month early. The child was not only small, but less formed, less developed. Christophe was on shore when that baby was born and he held it.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying Christophe knows the difference between an early and a full-term baby! And if Mildreth begins whispering poison in his ear, he will know the truth as soon as he sees my child.”

  I held a breath. I had known this would be Chloe’s greatest danger, but I’d been contemplating a plan of perhaps having her fake an illness—which I would pronounce as contagious. I could say the illness brought on an early birth and I could use the fear of contagion to keep everyone away for at least a week, and then say that in spite of her illness, Chloe’s milk came in quickly, and the child had been nursing well and was thriving. In this way, I believed we could keep Christophe from even questioning if the child was his.

  But with Mildreth here, I doubted we could keep her or him away. She’d find some reason to come into Chloe’s room—and to bring Christophe—as soon as the child was born. So if that plan would not work, something else would have to be arranged. Could I get Chloe out of the keep somehow? No. Christophe would never allow that.

  If she couldn’t be removed from the keep, perhaps…

  Gripping my sister’s hand, I said, “I have an idea, but it may take me a few days. Can you hold on a few more days?”

  Still trembling, she touched her stomach. “I can. I just hope the child can wait.” Her gaze drifted. “Nicole, do you know what the worst part of all this is?”

  I shook my head, thinking the worst part would be fear of discovery.

  “It’s how much I miss home,” she whispered. “Growing up, I couldn’t wait to get away and go live my wonderful life someplace else. But every day now, sometimes all day, I ache for White Deer Lodge, our warm log home, my family, and our friends there. I miss Erik’s laugh. I miss our mother and your meadow and your beehives. I long to go back there and never leave. How strange is that?”

  Poor Chloe. I didn’t find it strange at all.

  But I wished she could see the beauty of this keep and this island.

  * * * *

  The next morning, I wrote a letter to Erik. At first I was worried about when I might be able to have it sent, but Christophe also had a letter for my father, so he had the messages rowed to shore after breakfast.

  Around lunchtime, Chloe was resting, and so I wandered into the great hall to see if anyone might be gathering for a light meal. Christophe stood by the fire.

  “Are you hungry, my lord?” I asked. “Should I ring for some bread and cheese?”

  Turning, he said, “What? No tarts and tea and women from the village today?” But his voice was light and I could tell he was teasing.

  I smiled. “Not today.”

  “I wanted to thank you for that gathering. It was kind of you. Chloe enjoyed herself.”

  “Mildreth was not pleased.”

  I wondered if I might broach the subject of Mildreth with him. She was capable of speaking poison in his ear. But perhaps I could plant a few doubts of her motives?

  Before he could speak again, a man in his late twenties, wearing armor and a gray tabard—and wet up the waist—came striding into the great hall.

  Christophe frowned. “Lieutenant?”

 
“Forgive the intrusion, my lord,” the man said, “but I have news that couldn’t wait. A party of raiders somehow got through our lines several miles up shore undetected. They made it all into Chastain.”

  “Chastain?” Christophe nearly gasped.

  “Yes, my lord. The village was attacked. But word didn’t reach Captain Fáuvel until the attack was well over and the raiders were gone. Their boats are gone. Anyone they took cannot be retrieved.”

  Christophe put the back of one hand to his mouth. “No,” he breathed.

  I could only imagine what he was feeling: That he had failed his people. Of course he’d done his best to protect them, but my father always felt at fault if any of our people suffered.

  Christophe’s gaze sharpened. “What about the village? What is the damage?”

  “I don’t know, my lord. The messenger who arrived was badly injured. He could only tell me what I’ve told you. Captain Fáuvel sent thirty men on fast horses immediately, but he’s in the process of preparing a larger contingent to go and provide help to survivors. He wants to make sure we have adequate supplies to offer assistance when we get there, and we may not be ready until morning.”

  Nodding, Christophe said, “Good. I’ll need to make some preparations here, but I’ll take a boat over before dark this evening. We’ll leave at first light.”

  As he spoke, a thought hit me like lightning and I saw my chance.

  “My lord,” I said. “There will be wounded people at Chastain. My mother sent a box of medicines and I can quickly put together some bandages. If you take me with you, I can work as a healer.”

  “Take you?”

  “Yes, I would be safe riding at your side, under your protection.” Guilt rose inside as I watched his eyes light up at the prospect of me riding beside him and needing his protection. But I didn’t stop. “This is not a rushed or dangerous mission to cut off any raiders. It is a well-planned mission to go and offer food and aid. I could be of help to you.”

  I knew exactly what I was doing: Appealing to his love for me and painting an image of the two of us working together to help his people.

  Still, he hesitated. “What of Chloe? She may need you.”

  “The child will not come this early and we will be gone only a matter of days. I would like to help and the people of Chastain will be in need of a skilled healer.”

  Slowly, he nodded and then turned to the wet lieutenant. “Take a boat back to shore and inform the captain that Lady Nicole and I will join him at the barracks before dark. Have him prepare a private room for her. We’ll leave with the contingent in the morning.”

  “Yes, my lord.”

  The lieutenant walked out, leaving Christophe and me alone.

  “I have a number of things to attend before I can leave,” he said. “But we need to make the crossing before dark. Can you be ready?”

  “I’ll be ready.”

  Guilt and relief warred inside me, but nothing would make me stop now.

  * * * *

  Up in her room, Chloe’s eyes widened. “You’re leaving the island with Christophe?”

  “Yes. We need to get him away from here for a little while.”

  “And you?”

  “I have to go with him. On his own, he’d get back here as quickly as possible. If I’m with him, I can find ways to keep in Chastain. You are ready to give birth any time and I’ll try to keep him away for a least a week, longer if I can.”

  “No! Nicole, you cannot leave me here alone with Mildreth.”

  Grasping her hand, I said, “You won’t be alone. I’ve written to Erik this morning and I’ve asked him to either bring or send Jenny straightaway. He’ll have her in a saddle as soon as he reads my letter.”

  “Jenny?”

  “Yes. She’s assisted Mother and me with births. She’ll know what to do and she is loyal to you. More…her family lives inland but near the coast. She nearly wept in relief when Christophe sent those two hundred soldiers to help guard our coastline. She’d do anything to protect your marriage.”

  We were both standing, but Chloe sank down onto a couch. “You’ve thought this through.”

  “Yes. I’ve been mulling possible ways to get Christophe off the island, but this chance is better than any of my ideas. And if I’m with him, I can keep him away.”

  “What about Mildreth?”

  Walking over, I sat beside her. “We can manage Mildreth too, but it won’t be kind and you’ll need to do exactly what I tell you.”

  She listened.

  * * * *

  Late that afternoon, not long before dusk, carrying a small chest of medicine and supplies, I hurried out into the courtyard to meet Christophe. I wore a thick wool gown, my fur-trimmed cloak, and leather boots.

  Though he was waiting for me in the courtyard, wearing chain armor and a gray tabard, he was arguing with Mildreth.

  “What you do mean, you’re leaving?” she demanded, her voice carrying.

  “Chastain was attacked. I must go.”

  “And you’d leave your lady, who may be carrying a son and your heir? Did Nicole put you up to this?”

  “Put me up to what? Lady Nicole is coming with me.”

  For the first time since my arrival, Mildreth’s face shifted to confusion. “She’s going with you?”

  I walked out to join them. “Yes. There will be injured in need of a healer.”

  Her confusion only deepened, but it was colored with suspicion now. “And you would leave Lady Chloe here in my care?”

  “Of course,” I answered. “I am comforted leaving her in such good hands.”

  Mildreth breathed slowly, clearly trying to figure me out. But she would not. I had planned for several contingencies.

  To my surprise, Christophe leaned down and kissed the side of her face. “We must go, Mildreth. Take care of Chloe.”

  “I will, brother.”

  Christophe took the heavy chest from my hands. “Ready?”

  “Ready,” I answered.

  We headed out the gatehouse and through the village, toward the stone steps leading downward.

  Chapter 7

  I felt safe with Christophe.

  He and three other men rowed me to the shore. We had supper at the barracks with the captain and then Christophe went off to check on supplies being loaded into wagons for transport to Chastain. I was shown to a small, private room near the front of the barracks.

  Alone in the room, I tried not to think on all that could go wrong. What if I was off in my counting and I kept Christophe away for a week or more, and Chloe had still not delivered when we returned? There would be little chance of getting him away from the island again.

  But all I could do now was press onward. To me, my sister looked ready to give birth at any moment.

  Though I feared I would not sleep, I dropped off almost right away and was awakened the next morning by male voices calling to each other.

  “Get that load tied down!” someone called.

  Quickly, I dressed and hurried out of my room and through the barracks. Stepping outside, I saw the boathouse and the sea straight ahead, but in-between, the cleared land was alive with activity. Twenty-one wagons had been piled with supplies of food, blankets, lumber, and tools.

  At least a hundred soldiers were preparing to either ride horses or drive wagons.

  Christophe stood conferring with the captain near a wagon loaded with casks and bags. At the sight of me, he broke off and strode over.

  “Would you prefer to travel by wagon or ride a horse?” he asked.

  “I’ll ride a horse, but I’d prefer to ride near you,” I answered, knowing that was what he wanted to hear. Then I looked around again. “Do we need all these men?”

  “Yes. If necessary, they’ll function as a work crew to rebuild homes. We take care of our own here.”<
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  So did my family, but I didn’t say that.

  Christophe pointed to a table near the barracks. “There’s tea and biscuits. Be sure to eat before we leave.”

  “I will.”

  In a short amount of time, we’d eaten, tied down the remaining supplies, and were ready to go. My chest of medicines and bandages were in the first wagon. Christophe led a small chestnut mare to me and laced his hands together.

  “Up,” he said.

  With rather a lack of grace, I stepped into his hands and clambered up.

  Then he mounted a taller black horse and our large group headed up shore. In spite of everything, of all my deceptions of Christophe and worry for my sister, I couldn’t help being affected by being part of this group setting off to help a village.

  And looking up at the side of Christophe’s face, I couldn’t help admiring him. He was a good lord, a good leader.

  “How far up shore will we go?” I asked.

  “Only a few miles. Then we’ll turn inland.” He shook his head. “I cannot think how these raiders managed to land on shore, disembark, head inland all the way to Chastain, attack the town, and then get back to the shore without any of our troops ever seeing the boats.”

  I had no answers. “Where do you think these men come from?”

  “I don’t know. The captain believes they come from across the sea. And yet their boats do not seem large enough for sea passage.”

  I pondered this and we rode in comfortable silence.

  Christophe and I were near the front of the caravan, and I knew we looked like a lord and his lady. Though I tried to stop such thoughts from rising, I couldn’t help wondering how all of this might have played out had I accepted Christophe that morning at the beehives.

  I would be his lady and the mistress of Whale’s Keep.

  Though I had never wished to marry anyone, Christophe was different. He was kind and strong and any woman would be beyond fortunate to have him for a husband. Why had I not seen this sooner?

  Quickly, I pushed away these thoughts. It wasn’t that I hadn’t seen his qualities, but rather that I would never have done anything to injure my sister.