Deceitfully Yours

by Bethany Bazile

  He leans down and claims my mouth in a kiss as he slides into my tight sheath and takes me to places that leave no doubt in my mind where our connection stands. All the pieces of my life are coming together, but the shadows lingering around the corners are threatening to keep everything I want away from me.

  ********

  I feel like I just drove into another dimension as I walk up the cobblestone path leading to the Manning home. I can’t resist pulling out my camera and taking a series of shots of the sleek, modern mansion. Everything from the fountain with the intricate waterfall to the gray slate stone covering the house captivates me.

  The door opens, and a petite, red-haired woman steps out and smiles warmly at me. “You must be Kylie.”

  I lower my camera and shake her outstretched hand. “Mrs. Manning, it’s an honor.”

  “Oh, please, there’s no need to be so formal. Call me Patricia. Come in and let me show you around.”

  In the next half hour, I learn Patricia Manning is as bubbly and energetic in real life as she was on the phone this morning. Her home is an array of modern style. After a full guided tour, she leaves me in the garden so I can capture its beauty.

  I end up at the entrance of a maze half an hour later. That’s when I notice a little boy running across the lawn in my direction. I quickly adjust my camera and capture his youthful joy as he bounces toward me.

  “Hi,” he says, coming to a stop. His dark brown hair is rumpled, but his clothes are impeccable. His button up shirt is neatly tucked into his khaki pants. He looks like a little businessman, and it makes me smile.

  “I’m Tyler. My mom said you’re here to take pictures.”

  “That’s right. I’m Kylie. I’m a photographer.”

  “I know who you are. Do you want to go into the maze?”

  “No. I wouldn’t want to get lost.”

  “Mom says you can never get lost if you have someone who will come looking for you.” His sharp eyes are a unique mixture of green and brown.

  “Your mom is right. It’s always good to have someone who loves you enough to come searching for you.”

  “Do you have someone to come looking for you?” he asks.

  “Some days I’m not sure.” I don’t know how this kid is doing it, but he’s hitting something deep inside me.

  “I’d come looking for you.” He takes my hand and pulls me into the maze before I have a chance to respond to his sweet comment.

  For the next hour Tyler turns into the best assistant I’ve ever had. I show him how to use my camera, and he guides me to his favorite parts of the home.

  Patricia joins us by the pool. “I hope Tyler hasn’t been interrupting you.”

  “No, he’s been great.” I reach over and ruffle his hair, and he smiles up at me.

  “Will you join us for lunch?”

  “Uh…I don’t think so.” I can’t come up with an excuse, but I try to steer clear of these kinds of family moments.

  “I insist,” Patricia says, leading the way into the kitchen with Tyler pulling me in behind him.

  She has a table of food already set up as we enter. It’s way too much for three people. “Is your husband joining us?” I ask, taking a seat next to Tyler.

  Patricia and Tyler give each other an odd look before she says, “No. We’re divorced.” Oh, wow, I didn’t mean to make things awkward, but a definite silence has come over the room. I’m glad when Patricia breaks the awkward silence by changing the topic.

  “So, Kylie, how’d you get into photography?”

  “My mom got me my first camera when I was eleven, and I loved that thing. I’d take it everywhere with me just in case I came across anything interesting.”

  “She must have been a wonderful woman,” Patricia says.

  “Yeah, she was pretty amazing. She was…” My hand freezes over my salad, and I glance over at Patricia who’s looking at me with sad eyes. “How’d you know my mother passed away?”

  Her face turns pink as she realizes she’s let out more than she planned to. Tyler clears his throat and looks nervously at his mother.

  She puts her fork down and sighs. “Kylie, I don’t know how to tell you this but…” She looks down at her plate. Her demeanor is making me anxious.

  “But what?”

  Tyler speaks up for his mother when I give him a questioning look. “But I’m your brother.”

  “What?” I croak. I feel like someone’s fist is stuck in my throat, and I think I might begin to hyperventilate. “How is this…How is this possible? How’d you find me?”

  “Drink some water, dear.” Patricia sits to my left while Tyler reaches out and takes my hand. “Tyler, can you give me a minute alone with Kylie?”

  Tyler hesitates before he gets up from his seat. He looks back at me and asks, “You won’t leave without saying goodbye, right?”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  Patricia takes both my hands, but I pull away. She looks saddened by my rejection. “I’m sorry I deceived you.”

  “Why would you do this? Why not just tell me who you were?”

  “I didn’t think you’d come if you knew the truth. I just wanted you to see how fantastic Tyler is before you made a decision to be in his life.”

  “This is insane. What if this didn’t work? Then Tyler would be hurt.”

  “Tyler has always been aware he had a sister out there.”

  I run a hand over my face and try to fight off the tears. For so many years I’ve prayed for this, and now it’s here. I have my brother back. I should be happy, not angry at how Patricia decided to give him to me. It’s great to finally know where he is and that he is happy, but I wish I could’ve been with him all these years.

  She sits back in her seat and smiles shyly at me. “The day I went to pick Tyler up from the hospital, there was this amazing little blonde girl clutching him like he was her last lifeline. You were whispering to him, something I couldn’t hear from the hallway. You kissed him with a face covered in tears, and my heart broke for you. I knew I couldn’t break you up, especially knowing you had no one else. I wanted to take you home with us.”

  “Why didn’t you?” I whisper with my head hanging down. I’m ashamed that I sound so hurt, but I would’ve done anything to be with Tyler. “He was all I had left of her.” Tears now flow down my face as I remember the day I gave up my brother.

  “My husband was against it. Nothing I said could change his mind. I couldn’t have kids of my own. It took years for Marcus to agree to an adoption. I don’t think he ever wanted kids, so he was adamant against taking in a teenage girl. I’ve wondered about you all these years. I wasn’t sure if you had moved on with your life and would want nothing to do with Tyler, or hate me for taking him away from you. I even tried to arrange visits for you and Tyler from the beginning, but my husband thought I’d become too attached. I was sure you would resent me for keeping Tyler away from you so long.”

  “I’m sorry, Patricia, but this is a lot to take in.” I wipe my eyes with a napkin, wondering how my life keeps shifting off its axis in the last few months. I’ve done so many things I’m not proud of. The last thing I need is for Patricia to find out what I’ve done for Mason. She would probably keep Tyler away.

  “I know it is, sweetheart. Just promise you’ll take time to consider visiting Tyler once in a while.”

  “I don’t think I can stay away now that I know.”

  “Good, because you’re family, and I want you to feel comfortable about coming here whenever you want to.” She reaches over and gives me a hug I’m not ready to return.

  “Can I ask you something personal?” She pulls back but still holds onto my arms.

  “Anything.”

  “Did your divorce have anything to do with Tyler?” If he never wanted children, I need to know Tyler was loved.

  “Partly. Marcus was always unemotional when it came to Tyler. I felt like I forced him into something he didn’t want because he wanted to make me happy. Tyler made more of
an effort than he did to connect, so eventually the strain and other factors tore us apart.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say when I see her sad expression.

  She smiles and shrugs. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’ve never regretted having Tyler in my life for one second.” She leaves the room. Tyler enters moments later and sits in the chair next to mine.

  “Are you mad at me?” he asks, twisting his hands.

  “No, I’m not mad at you.” I look at his face, and this time I can see it. I can see that small glimmer of Mom shining through. He has the same dark brown, wavy hair she had. “You would’ve loved her.” I say it more to myself than to him, but he smiles and nods.

  “Will you tell me about her?”

  “Yeah, but not now. I think we’ve had enough excitement for today.”

  “Yeah, I agree.”

  “You’re very smart for a nine-year-old.”

  “You remember my age?”

  “Of course I remember. You were born on August eighteenth at four thirty-eight in the morning. I took your vey first picture with the camera Mom bought me.” Mom never got a chance to see Tyler, so I placed that picture in her coffin on the day she was buried. There were many days I wished I had that picture to remember him by, but I wanted Mom to have it. Now I have Tyler back and I can almost see my mom’s bright smile when I close my eyes.

  By the time Patricia walks me to the door, I’ve spent over four hours in her home. “So I guess the photo shoot was a cover.”

  “Oh no, the photo shoot was real. I definitely want your photos featured in my magazine. You have a talent, Kylie. I’ve seen your work.”

  “Thank you, Patricia.” She pulls me into a hug that I return this time. “For everything,” I whisper into her neck. She nods before releasing me.

  I walk out of the house and down the cobblestone path, a different person than I was when I walked up it earlier. I can’t deny my heart is not as heavy. The love I feel for my brother has eased that constant ache inside me. Everything I want has been laid out in front of me, but I’m sure everything I’ve done will tear my happiness away.

  ********

  I don’t know how I ended up here, but my heart took over and guided me back to the home I shared with my mother. There’s only one other house to the left. On the right side I follow a path leading to the river behind the home. An old tree that my mom attached a swing to is still there. I sit on the swing out of habit, even though I know the tree borders the house and isn’t part of the public river.

  I can almost feel my mother’s hands push against my back as I sway on the swing. I know this is the place I needed to come after meeting Tyler.

  “I found him, Mom, and he’s…he’s everything I thought he would be. He has your hair. I remember when he was born he had a light dusting of blonde hair, but now it’s dark and wavy.” The sun is setting over the trees behind the river. The beautiful sunset was always my favorite part of living here. “His name’s Tyler…Tyler Manning and…”

  A hand taps my shoulder, causing me to jolt off the swing. An older lady with graying hair smiles at me. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “No, no, I’m sorry. I was trespassing on your property.” I jump off the swing and straighten my clothes.

  She shrugs and says, “I usually get a lot of children back here. I just thought it was odd that an adult would come to swing.”

  “I used to live here…years ago.”

  She narrows her eyes and stares at me for a while. “Kylie?”

  “How do you know my name?”

  “When I moved into this house there was a ton of stuff here. The only thing that stuck with me was the pictures of the cutest little blonde girl. Your name and age were written on the back of each one.”

  “Yeah, my mom was really anal with documenting photos.” I smile at the memory of my mom categorizing mountains of photos in her scrapbooks and picture boxes.

  “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” She scurries into the house. A while later she returns she hands me an old, dusty box that causes my eyes to mist over.

  “This was one of my mom’s photo box…You kept this?” I look at her in amazement, and she nods, wearing a slight smile.

  “I heard what happened to your mom, and I thought maybe one day you’d come looking for it, so I saved it in the attic.”

  “My God…thank you. You have no idea how much this means.”

  “My pleasure, dear, I hope this is what you were looking for.”

  “I wasn’t looking for anything. I came here to feel close to her.”

  She nods then smiles sadly. “You’ve had a hard time without her. I can tell by that aimless look on your face. At some point you have to stop wandering and find a place to belong, a place you can call home, and bring your mother’s memory with you.” She pats my shoulder, turns around, and goes back into the house.

  I walk back to my car and drive toward Jude’s house before I have a total breakdown. The minute he opens the door, tears begin to well in my eyes again. He pulls me in the house, and I sob openly on his chest. “What’s going on, baby? Please, talk to me.”

  I push off his chest and look up at him with blurry eyes. “I met my brother today, and he’s amazing. Then I went to my mom’s old place, and some lady gave me this.” I show him the box I’m still clutching. “It’s full of photos of me and mom. Then I came here, and you’re waiting for me. You’re always waiting for me…Do you know how it feels to just have someone waiting for you?” He smiles at me while wiping my tear-stained face. He’s not even fazed by my blubbering rant. “So much has changed in the last month. I don’t know how to handle everything.”

  He scoops me up into his arms and carries me into his room. He lies down beside me with my mom’s photo box between us. “We’ll handle it together. One day at a time, okay?”

  I nod my head, taking a calming breath.

  “Will you show me your mom?”

  I pull the box closer to my chest. “I’m scared to open it.”

  “How can you be scared to remember someone you love?”

  “Remembering might break my heart.”

  “Then I’ll be here to pick up the pieces. You can’t keep your mom’s memory locked in a box. Let her be a part of your life, and it won’t hurt so much.”

  I slowly uncurl my finger on the edge of the box and push it toward him. For two hours we go through pictures.

  The night was full of tears and unexpected laughter. I fell asleep on Jude’s lap, clutching the last picture I took of my mom. In the picture she had the cutest little pregnant belly, and she was sticking her tongue out at me. My mom was as amazing as I remembered. I hadn’t made her bigger than life after she died. She was bigger than life in her smile and because she loved me with everything she had.

  Chapter Twenty

  Kylie

  The weekend of Emma’s wedding arrives quickly. As we pull up to Jude’s parents’ house for our weekend stay, I begin to regret letting him talk me into this. My stomach feels so unsettled that I think I might throw up. Jude is practically dragging me because my nerves have overcome me.

  The house is a big, beautiful white colonial with perfect landscaping. It’s like something right out of Patricia’s home and garden magazine. I don’t belong here. I don’t do well in family settings. They’re foreign to me, and I really don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of Jude’s parents.

  “Don’t worry so much. They’ll love you,” Jude says, opening the door and pulling me into a huge foyer. A tall, older version of Emma rushes over to greet us.

  “Mom, this is Kylie. This is my mom, Teresa.”

  Her smile is huge as she pulls me in for a hug. “Maryanne told me all about you.” She steps back, grasping both my hands, surveying me. “Look at all this beautiful hair. I dyed my hair blonde once. It didn’t work out for me but on you…fantastic.”

  “Thank you. Your home is lovely.”

  “Let me show you around. You’re welcome to
come back anytime, with or without Jude.” She pulls me down a hallway to begin her tour, leaving Jude behind. When I look back at him with pleading eyes, he shrugs and goes in the opposite direction.

  Despite my first impression outside, the inside of the house has a homey feel to it. It is large, but all the rooms are basic with lots of family memories. The last room she takes me to is a man cave of sorts: huge television, pool table, and a mini bar.

  Jude and his dad have already begun a game of pool. “This is my husband, Bradley. Your son finally brought Kylie to meet us.”

  He smiles and shakes his head at his wife. Bradley Baxter is tall and incredibly handsome for an older man. “Don’t mind my wife. She’s been going on and on about you since you had dinner with Maryanne. We are happy to have you here this weekend.” He clasps my hand in his for a firm shake.

  Good Lord…what an amazing accent. Bradley Baxter most likely made women swoon in his days, probably still does. Bradley and Jude manage to talk me into a game of pool, which I lose. They are obviously pros at the game and pulled me in to embarrass me.

  Jude’s mother makes her famous sauce and pasta for dinner, and it’s even better than when Jude made it. After dinner Teresa and Bradley huddle up outside near an outdoor fireplace like young lovers. Their relationship is so fun, easy, and loving. I can see why Teresa would want the same for her son. Unfortunately, I’m not the right person to give him that. No matter how hard I try to convince myself it’s possible.

  ********

  Jude’s childhood bedroom has been left untouched. There are a few pictures of him and his friends in high school. He wasn’t always so well built. He was actually pretty lanky in those pictures.

  It’s weird what you can find out about a man from childhood memories. I would’ve pegged Jude for a football jock, but instead he has trophies from fencing tournaments.