Atlas Lost

by Alaska Angelini

  I climbed in the car, starting it. For the life of me, I couldn’t stop from pushing Cara’s hair back to see her face. The fire within was impossibly growing. I had to make sure she was okay even though the Ri never got close enough to touch her. It angered me their leader was sending soldiers to check on her.

  “You’re following me now? Is that it? Is that what you wanted me to see?”

  As I reversed the car, I left my mind open, waiting for his communication. I wasn’t surprised when it didn’t come. I was weak—so fucking weak, it drove me insane. Why had I let myself get to this point? The heartbreak and shutting down I could understand. But I had years to build myself back up, and I had failed to. If I were at least half as strong as before, there was a chance I could have saved Cara myself. Now, I was risking everything by taking her to my sister. Possibly even our lives.

  Chapter 7

  Cara

  Smoke. It drew me from a deep sleep, reminding me of campfires and better days. In my high school years, I did a lot of backpacking in the mountains with my best friend. We’d spend the entire weekend living from a tent. It had been great, but ended with her moving after graduation. My lids fluttered at the darkness, and I groaned, trying to remember why my bed felt so hard. But it wasn’t my bed, because my apartment wouldn’t smell like smoke.

  Smoke.

  I flew to a sitting position, locking my eyes on a man crouched by the fire. Everything came rushing back in memories so vivid, I knew this wasn’t a nightmare like I’d hoped. My hand came to settle on my forehead, and I winced at the pounding.

  “It’ll ease. You need water.”

  Atlas glanced over his shoulder at me, reaching to a plastic case. When he turned with a bottled water, he was still in his crouched position.

  “Go on. Take it.”

  I stayed quiet, eying him as I reached and grabbed the bottle.

  “You’re not talking to me?” A pause. “You’re mad. I can feel it. It had to be done.”

  I took a big drink. “It didn’t. This is kidnapping. I don’t want this.”

  “You lie.” He lowered, sitting next to me. “You want to live.”

  “Not if it means being handed over to that monster.”

  Something had him slowly shaking his head.

  “I’m not sure that’s the truth either. You fear him, but…you don’t.”

  “How would you know that?”

  “He and I are tied too, remember?”

  “You don’t understand. You think I don’t fear him because I don’t feel afraid. But I am. The reason you don’t pick it up is because he steals my emotions when I’m with him.”

  Silence.

  “It’s night. Where are we?”

  Atlas glanced toward the car, but came back to me.

  “Safe.”

  “Right. Well, I have to go to the restroom.”

  “Oh.” Standing, he looked around the open space. I joined him, feeling my heart sink. “Do you plan to run?”

  “Run? Where? To that tiny mountain about five miles away? There’s nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. I wouldn’t make it a hundred yards before you caught me.”

  “Less than that, but you’re right. Go ahead.”

  I searched the surroundings for some form of shelter to hide behind, but there was nothing but the car.

  “I’m going over there. You…sit.”

  “I’m not going to watch you. I’m going make dinner.” He paused. “Supplies are in the bag.”

  Nodding, I swayed as I took a step. I barely began to fall before Atlas has his hand wrapped around my hip, steadying me.

  “You’re not well. The cancer?”

  “Probably the elevation,” I lied. “I’ll be fine. Let go.”

  Even as I said it and disconnected from his gasp, I could barely keep my balance. With each step, it got a little better, but not to my stomach. It twisted and turned, causing nausea the entire walk. Harder, I breathed, focusing on the only thing I could control: my reaction. By the time I finished and made it back to the fire, all I wanted to do was lay back down and sleep.

  “You’re worse. Drink more water while I cook.”

  I glanced over, having to do a double-take.

  “Is that my spare work bag? Where did you get that?” Atlas looked up from the small pot he was stirring over the fire. “That’s mine too. That’s my stuff.”

  “You do this then.” He waved his hand at the surroundings. “You survive for work?”

  “Well, not survive. I’m a biologist. I collect plant samples. But I’m in the mountains a lot. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

  He smiled so bright, my shoulders shifted uncomfortably. For as intimidating as he appeared with his size and tattoos, a small part of me softened at the smile. It was real. The realest smile I had seen in a long time. And it stirred something in me I’d noticed the first time we met: a warmth in my stomach, a quickening of my heartbeat—his eyes and how they made me feel.

  “You’re smart and brave. You care for the earth. You have heart. A good one. I feel that. Probably because of the tie we share with Ri,” he mumbled.

  “And yet you’re trading me to him.” I more fell than lowered to sit. My grunt had Atlas frowning as he stirred the small metal spoon. I ignored him, drinking more water. But it did nothing to calm the churning or ache settling in my bones. The nausea was so bad. It didn’t make sense. I was never this sick without chemo. Maybe if I were already in treatment I could understand feeling so badly. Was I really so far advanced it was making me feel like I had the worst flu of my life? Each second, my eyes were becoming too heavy to keep open. My muscles were killing me. This couldn’t be right.

  “Atlas. I need…help.” The water fell from my hand, spilling onto my thigh and lap as I tried to turn to crawl. Where, I wasn’t sure. But somewhere. I had to do something. The fight in me refused to believe this new wave of sickness was coming on so fast.

  “Whoa, whoa. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  He was already rolling me back to lie down. My mouth opened, but words wouldn’t come through the illness that threatened. Repeatedly, I swallowed, until I could get my panicked breaths under control.

  “Cara, please. You have to talk.”

  “This isn’t normal. I shouldn’t be this sick. I hurt. I hurt everywhere. I can’t…” Again, my voice trailed off at the threat of becoming sick.

  “Body aches? Cramping in the stomach?” At my nod, he continued. “Headache?”

  “Y-Yes.”

  “Forgive me.”

  The buttons of my pajama top were ripped open, and had I been able to scream, I would have. Before I could, his large hand fitted over my chest while I tried to cover my breasts.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Feeling. Don’t talk.”

  When his eyes closed, I closed my own in mortification. Why had he come when I was already dressed for bed? If only I would have put on a sports bra. I didn’t, and now the first guy to see me topless in half a decade was from another planet. An alien. I still could barely believe it. If I wanted to be honest, a part of me was finding it hard to classify him as one since he looked like any man I had seen on Earth. Just bigger.

  “Yes. There it is.”

  “What?”

  His eyes opened, and I quickly closed my shirt over his hand. It still hadn’t moved, and he almost didn’t seem to want to.

  “This sickness you have. How long have you had it?”

  “It’s been bad the last few days. The pulsing, or headache—”

  “Pulsing? Here?”

  I swatted Atlas’s hand off my forehead, scrambling again to close my top where it had fallen open. “Don’t touch my head. You might put me in a coma next time.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Yes,” I continued, “in the middle of my forehead. That’s been there for the last few months. Maybe a year. I don’t know. It seems like it’s been happening for a while.”

  “That’s what I thought. You’re going to be okay. It’s not the
cancer. What you have is what we call a vibrational flu. Your frequency is on the rise. It’s actually quite impressive. Do you see auras? Get visions? See synchronicities?”

  “The numbers?”

  “Yes.” He smiled.

  “All the time. It started with eleven-eleven, or one, one, one, one…or just ones. Lots of ones everywhere. After that, I caught other combinations. The twos or fours. I’d wake up at odd hours, but it was always the same.” I wiggled underneath his hand. “Are you done?”

  “What? Oh, yes. Sorry.”

  Atlas lifted his hand from my chest, heading back to the fire. But he didn’t stop looking at me. I could tell he wanted to say more. What, I wasn’t sure.

  “How long will this last?”

  “With how you’re feeling, I’m going to guess you’re close to peaking. That means it’ll probably ease tomorrow, and throughout the following days.”

  “And I’ll be normal again?”

  The look was back. The one that said he wanted to say something but wasn’t.

  “You’re hiding something from me.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Maybe not to you. What if it’s something to me?”

  “I can’t be sure, and the last thing you need is to worry anymore. It’ll increase your frequency and you can’t handle that. You’re sick enough as it is.”

  I eased back down, closing my eyes as the ground began to spin again. My arms were getting so heavy, it was hard to keep my hands on my pajama top.

  “Shirt,” I forced out. “Do I have one?”

  Crunching from boots sounded, and it wasn’t long before he was helping lift me. The small movement sent such vertigo, I gripped his shirt to stop from falling to the side.

  “One minute. I just need…”

  “Open your eyes,” Atlas whispered. “Look at me. Let me help you, but see that I do not disrespect you while I do.”

  “Stop. Just stop.”

  “Helping?”

  “Being.” I swallowed hard. “Nice. I can dress myself.”

  The edge of his lips pulled back, and he lifted me enough to sit. Modesty for the most part was gone. I was angry again. Angry that a man like him could act so moral, when he could do something heartless. I didn’t want to like him. I wanted to hate him for taking my choices away. For using me as a pawn to wipe out some karmic debt. It was bullshit. The entire thing between them was. It didn’t concern me, yet here I was, suffering because of them. And they were both underestimating me. Neither would get their wish. The moment I got my chance, I would disappear, and they’d never find me again.

  Chapter 8

  Atlas

  Three times Cara attempted to put her shirt on, and three times she’d fallen to the side. The worst part was watching her try to return to a sitting position. It drove me crazy not to help. It also brought my attention back to the warmth I linked to her. The sensation urged me to help. To take care of her. To touch her.

  “If you’ll just let me—”

  “No.”

  I walked over, watching her try to slide it over her head while laying down. She could barely move her arms, more or less lift her head. Dirt blew on each labored exhale, and I put down the bowl, walking around to pull her upright. The delayed swing had me grabbing her wrist and easing it through the arm hole of the shirt. A tear-filled glare met me the moment I pulled the top over her head. When I grabbed the other wrist, the smallest amount of resistance forced me to look deep into her blue eyes. What I saw was the flame I felt, dancing in her depths. Swaying in a motion that called me forward. Yes. Closer. I wanted to be move in closer. To kiss her?

  “There,” I said, pushing her arm through the other hole and bringing the shirt down. The need for distance urged from my fear. My mind said run. My heart wouldn’t allow me to. “Now, you eat. And you will eat.”

  “Are you going to…feed me too?”

  “As a matter of fact, I am.”

  Before she could react, I lifted her, placing her in my lap. Her head intentionally reared back into my chest, but she immediately stopped. A smile came as I grabbed the bowl.

  “They had canned soup at the store. This will make you feel better. You may feel sicker at first, but you have to eat it. It’s the only way to make this pass.”

  A light snore had my eyes widening in surprise. For seconds, I couldn’t move. Not because I didn’t want to wake her, but because she’d pushed herself to the point of unconsciousness. The realization was like a punch to the gut. I’d seen men break long before they’d taken their bodies to the extent she had. And she’d fought to the very end, hitting her head against me as a last resort.

  I spun her across my lap, letting her head rest in the crook of my elbow as I leaned forward to sip at the soup. Dirt dusted the red tint of her feverish cheeks. It awed me how her beauty grew by the hour. She’d been beautiful the first time I had laid eyes on her, but now, more than that. So much more. Damn Ri and his tie to us both. This couldn’t be me feeling attraction. These emotions had to be his. He must have really loved her. He had to, and it was leaking into me. It was the only explanation for why he’d want me to save her or even allow me anywhere near her if she was his mate. And it wasn’t too hard to believe he went out of his species with the declining numbers of his own. That was the Paltenians’ fault. But how was he trusting me not to kill her? I could hurt him like he hurt me, and he was trusting I didn’t.

  I finished off the soup, unable to resist. Soft skin met me as I trailed my fingertips over her cheek, wiping away the dirt. I kept the touch barely there while I moved to the side of her forehead. Energy pulsed into my fingertips, lulling me to close my eyes. It was as though it was the most natural thing for me to hold her as I went inside myself. My breaths became one with hers, and I cleared my mind, focusing on them.

  Flashes came of Cara’s face, then the flame, before drifting away. I saw many things from my past, but they were fleeting as I willed the bright, white light through my chakras. Minutes passed, then longer. The energy in my chest grew, and I held to it, almost losing the connection as my guides appeared around me in the dark space. The need to break myself from my meditation was almost instant, yet I held on, facing them for the first time in years.

  “I come with most heartfelt apologies. I don’t know what to say.”

  “You grieve. You hold such deep pain and anger.”

  My head bowed through the echoing voice that was all of them, speaking as one.

  “I do.”

  “But you heal as well.”

  I shook my head.

  “You do, Atlas. You’re here.”

  “I don’t have a choice. The woman—the human, Cara O’Neil—she needs my help. I have to take her to Kelu.”

  “Do you?”

  I blinked at the question.

  “There’s no other way. She’ll die if Kelu doesn’t heal her. I can’t hold space. My power is all but gone.”

  “It is weak, yes.”

  “Then what do you mean? Are you suggesting I let her die?”

  “We offer no suggestions.”

  “I don’t understand what I should do.”

  “Your path is your own. We will guide, but the decision is yours.”

  At their disappearance, I held my state, tuning into my energy—to my heart, drawing it up and connecting it to my third eye. So easily before, I used it as true sight. It came natural in those days. Even when I slept, I saw all. I knew all. Now, only darkness.

  My eyes fluttered open in frustration.

  I’d continue this. If it took me years, I’d get my gifts back. Never again would I be caught unaware or defenseless. Ri, or anyone else, would never take advantage of me again.

  “You ate the soup.”

  I looked down, surprised.

  “You’re awake. I didn’t expect you up so soon.”

  “Soon? I’ve woken up three times. It has to be late.”

  I brought up my hand, my lips parting as I took in the time. Even the fire w
as out.

  “This can’t be right.”

  “What time is it?”

  “No, this is wrong.”

  I tapped at the watch, moving more on my side as I pulled the phone from my pocket. At the correlation, I looked to the sky.

  “Well? What time is it?”

  “Four-fifty.”

  “No way.”

  “Yes, way. I must have…” My head shook. “I guess I forgot how consuming it was. I’ll make you breakfast. We should get back on the road.”

  “You haven’t slept. You weren’t, right? I mean, you didn’t look like you were sleeping.”

  “I’ll be fine. Let’s get you some food.”

  Cara tried to lift, but I didn’t give her the chance to fall. I helped her lay down, grabbing a Pop-Tart and wincing as I stared at the box. It would fill the void, but she needed something of substance.

  “Try to eat this. When we get to the next town, I’ll stop and get you something better.”

  Surprisingly, she didn’t argue as I opened the package and handed one over. As I collected the bags and took them to the car, she nibbled on the outside crust. I took my time, letting her try to get down as much as she could. I even ate one myself, gazing into the distance as the sun began to rise. It was beautiful, breaking over the top of the small mountains. I stared directly at it, trying to remember the last time I had sun-gazed. The benefits were beyond what some could have imagined. If done just at sunrise or sunset, it didn’t harm the eyes and helped to activate the light body almost all beings had, minus the Ri and other shadow species.

  Footsteps dragged in the distance. I glanced over my shoulder as Cara made her way around the car and continued on. I gave her privacy, focusing on increasing my power through the sun. Between it and meditation, it was the key to tapping into who I was. Who I used to be. And that was important. The first time I’d made this trip, the dangers were something I encouraged. Different species lived throughout the area, and we all had our territory. There were several different ones between here and Chili. I couldn’t risk getting caught by them this time. Not with Cara. Sure, I could physically fight, but they had the advantage. They had their gifts.