A Wild Fright in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 7)

by Ann Charles

  “I saw. He came when he heard Caly approaching. He alerted me to her arrival so I had time to return. I waited in the closet until she’d passed and I could come up with some way to stop her.”

  “What’re we gonna do with this hellcat?” Harvey asked, prodding Caly’s shoulder with his shotgun.

  Her head turned under the coat in Harvey’s direction. I heard the clacking of her teeth again.

  “I need to do my job,” I told Cooper in particular, since he was the main objector to me removing Caly from the equation.

  Cooper shook his head. “I told you, we need her to clear your name and close several murder cases.”

  “What? You think you’re going to take her into the station and she’ll cooperate without tearing you all to pieces? I’ll refer you to the blade attached to her arm.”

  “We’ll keep her well-secured.” His voice was all matter-of-fact, his will unbending. The cop in him ruled on the topic, leaving no room for rebuttal. “Uncle Willis, go get your pickup and back it up to the steps. Then get your ass up here with the rope you keep under the seat. We’ll need your help carrying her down.”

  Caly was still struggling, making inhuman noises and growls, wrenching her shoulders back and forth in spite of Doc’s attempt to keep her in place, showing no sign of weariness. If Cooper thought he’d just stroll her through the Deadwood Police Station, he must have been smoking happy weed while I was playing patty cake with Ottó’s old doll.

  Harvey leaned Bessie against his shoulder and hitched toward the doorway.

  I was watching him step outside and close the door when Caly snapped the chain holding the handcuffs together. I looked around in time to see her pop upright with enough force to send Cooper backward into the wall.

  Caly’s struggle for freedom knocked Doc’s grip on her loose, and her arms were suddenly untethered. She tore off Doc’s coat and with a hiss whirled on Cooper, raising her sword as she turned.

  Without thinking, I sprung forward, deflecting her sword with my left forearm as she swung it toward Cooper’s throat. Then I spun around and planted the corkscrew into the side of her throat.

  Her snake eyes widened and bulged as I twisted the corkscrew deeper, leaning into her, shoving her off balance into the wall next to Cooper. She regained her bearings faster than I expected and lunged forward, sinking her teeth into my arm when she couldn’t free her sword blade from behind her. I felt the powerful clench of her bite through my wool coat as black smoke began to billow out of the hole where I’d buried the corkscrew.

  With an angry cry, I drove it deeper, winding the corkscrew further into her throat. The need to put an end to her malicious reign filled my every cell. “This is for Jane and Wanda, you fucking bitch.” I shifted my weight, gaining more leverage while she continued to lash out at me. “And Helen Tarragon, too.”

  A high-pitched humming noise came from her chest, growing louder as she thrashed under my weight. I jammed my arm deeper into her jaws, sacrificing my arm to keep her from biting at my face. I let go of the corkscrew which was now firmly planted deep in her neck and grabbed a fistful of her spiky hair. I yanked her head back.

  Her hate-filled snake eyes were now lined with something cloudy and dark, almost black, along with the lower half of her face. Death was spreading through her, weakening her finally. I could smell it thick and heavy in the back of my throat.

  “You’ve met your match, kitten.” I threw her words back at her and yanked my arm free of her jaws. Her skin withered, looking shrunken, hardened, like a long-dried Egyptian mummy. “Your killing days are through.”

  “We will destroy you, Scharfrichter!” she croaked through blackened lips, her voice crackly.

  Keeping a tight grip on her hair, I leaned in close. I wanted my eyes to be the last she saw. “Adios, Calypso.”

  Vein-like fingers of blackness spread across the rest of her face. She writhed, opening her mouth wide in a silent scream as her face distorted, her nose and mouth elongating, her teeth lengthening as her lips pulled back.

  I knew from experience what was going to happen next and shoved away from her, turning aside. “Cover your eyes,” I yelled to Doc and Cooper, shielding my own as a bright flash of light lit up the hallway followed by a searing blast of heat.

  When the light faded and the heat dissipated, Caly was gone. There was nothing more than a wisp of smoke and a sprinkling of ashes left. A cold draft of air blew open the door and swirled through the room, whisking them away.

  “Holy fuck,” Cooper said. He ran his fingers through his hair.

  Doc grunted in agreement, leaning back against the wall.

  Cooper’s beam of light searched the floor where Caly had been, roving over Caly’s blade and the Swiss Army knife lying there with the corkscrew still sticking out. He cursed and aimed the beam at me.

  “Oops,” I said, squinting in the spotlight.

  “Dammit, Parker,” Cooper stood, holstering his gun and then bending to pick up the blade. “I told you we needed her.”

  “That was an accident.”

  “Right. You just happened to fall forward and accidentally ram that corkscrew into her neck, twisting it as you fell?”

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  “I saw the whole thing, remember?”

  “And did you see how I saved your neck at the same time?”

  “She would’ve missed me.”

  “Whatever! While you were watching the whole damned thing, did you see her turn to ash and smoke? That’s what I was trying to tell you about the other one at the funeral parlor.”

  Doc pushed to his feet and then leaned down to pick up the Swiss Army knife on the floor between us, folding the corkscrew back into place. He helped me to my feet.

  “She bit you.” He pulled back the sleeve of my coat and checked my arm. Purplish-red marks marred my forearm, but no blood. “It doesn’t look like she broke skin.”

  “Good, because I think she was a tiny bit rabid, minus the mouth foaming trick of course.”

  With a sigh, he pulled me into his arms, holding me close for several seconds. “I know why she killed Katrina,” he spoke over my head.

  “She hated blondes?” I asked, pulling away so I could look up at him.

  “Not quite. The only way to release the lidérc from the wards imprisoning it was to let it attach to a host. Caly convinced Katrina that the lidérc would impart the immortality she craved. After the joining occurred, Caly cut Katrina’s thumb and used her blood to smear over the ward, telling her it was part of the process.”

  “That explains the cut Eddie noticed,” Cooper said.

  A cut? That was news to me.

  “That allowed the lidérc to leave the confines of the building. However, it was still imprisoned in Katrina’s body—until Caly freed it.”

  “By bludgeoning Katrina with my war hammer?”

  “She pierced Katrina’s heart to set it free.”

  “Did Ottó show you this?”

  He shook his head. “The old doll did, or rather the little girl that Ottó killed while trying to remove the lidérc back in Hungary. She was using the doll, hiding behind the illusion of it. After Ottó killed the girl, the lidérc attached to him, but it held onto the little girl even after her death. She was a trophy of sorts is my guess.”

  But now it must have let her and Ottó go, since they were still here and it was gone.

  “This is just fucking great,” Cooper said, stalking out into the front room. He pointed Caly’s blade at me. “Let me make sure I have this straight. We have two ghosts here, no lidérc, and the killer has turned to ash and floated away. This is going to look real fucking fine on paperwork, Parker.”

  “Try to see the upside, Mr. Glass-Is-Half-Empty,” I snapped back at him. “I eliminated the one who killed Jane Grimes, Helen Tarragon, Wanda Carhart, Katrina King, and Lord only knows how many others over the years. There will be no more bodies on your case board thanks to Caly’s handiwork.”

  “I know
that and you know that,” he glared at me, “but how in the hell am I going to convince Hawke and the Chief and everyone else that we got our killer?”

  “I found yer pot o’ gold, Coop,” Harvey said from the doorway. He stood in profile with Bessie held at waist level, her double barrels aimed at something outside the door.

  “What are you talking about, Uncle Willis?” Cooper sounded tired, defeated.

  Harvey stepped back. “You first,” he said toward the steps.

  Doc moved in front of me, shielding me.

  I heard the old wooden floorboards creak by the door. My stomach cramped, the sudden churning making me clutch my side and swallow fast.

  “No fucking way,” I heard Cooper say. “Where in the hell have you been?”

  Who had Harvey found outside? Another albino? The juggernaut’s twin? Swallowing down the nausea crawling up my throat, I peeked around Doc.

  Holy cheeseballs!

  Dominick Masterson stood in the doorway with Harvey’s shotgun pointed at his back.

  His gaze zeroed in on me. “Hello, Violet,” he said in that whiskey smooth voice of his. “It looks like you’ve been busy.”

  * * *

  Wednesday, November 21st

  I slept like the dead. The non-ghost kind of dead, anyway.

  When I woke the next morning, I was alone in my bed and for the life of me couldn’t remember how I’d ended up there. I lay in my warm flannel sheets, replaying the pieces I remembered from the night prior.

  After Dominick had arrived, Cooper had wanted to send Harvey, Doc, and me off in the pickup, leaving him to interrogate Dominick without me there to interfere. Cooper hadn’t minced words on that. He was still pissy about my removing Caly from the picture.

  I’d hesitated to leave him, expressing concern that Dominick had another wall-breaking trick up his sleeve, only this time he might break Cooper, but the stubborn detective assured me he had it under control.

  So, while the control freak was busy giving instructions to his uncle and Doc, Dominick had waved me over to where he stood next to one of the windows.

  Something about Masterson made me nauseated when I stood too close, so I kept a few feet between us.

  “I won’t hurt the lawman, Scharfrichter,” he said quietly.

  Aunt Zoe was right. There’d be no hiding who I really was anymore. My enemies knew I was in town and why—probably more than I did. “Why did you return, Dominick?”

  “I had no choice.”

  “Because of Caly’s latest murder spree?”

  He smirked, at least I thought it was a smirk. In the orange light, the half of his face that wasn’t hidden in shadows looked more ghoulish than usual. “She used to be so obedient. Then Katrina and the others started putting ideas into her head.”

  “Like killing Jane?”

  He nodded. “And Helen.”

  So, Katrina had been behind those two murders? “Why? What did they do to her?”

  “They did nothing.” His dark gaze swung my way. “Katrina wanted me, but I refused to take her as a lover. Helen, however, intrigued me. When Katrina learned of my interest in Helen, she ordered Caly to eliminate her. Jane was working as Katrina’s agent at the time, helping her negotiate for the purchase of this building from me even though I’d repeatedly refused to sell. She overheard the order to have Helen killed, so Caly murdered Jane on the spot.” He sighed and turned back to the window. “All of this death for what? Jealousy? Lust? Humans can be so juvenile.”

  “Katrina told me she wanted to be immortal. Could you have made her one of you?”

  He scoffed. “There is no immortality for humans, nor my kind for that matter.”

  “So you came back because of Caly and Katrina?”

  “No.” He wrote something on the window with his fingertip, a symbol of some sort that burned deep orange before fading. “I came back because of you.”

  “Me?”

  “We need you.”

  There was that we again. “For what? And if you say you need to impregnate me with a demon’s spawn, I’m going to tell you to go blow a goat-pig, or whatever that thing is on the tattoo Katrina and Lila had.”

  “Caper-sus.”

  “Come again.”

  “It’s a form of Latin. The creature’s name. It originally symbolized a mixture of spiritual ambition and power or strength, but Katrina’s group has given it a much darker meaning.” He glanced behind me. I followed his gaze. Doc was watching us, his eyes narrowed and his mouth tight as he looked at Dominick.

  “You’ve assembled a team.” He smiled at me, his white teeth reflecting the orange coming through the window. “You’re smarter than most expected. That will work to your benefit when the hunters come.”

  Who were these hunters Caly and now Dominick spoke of? Executioner hunters? Bounty hunters?

  Before I could ask, Dominick continued. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

  “Who’s your enemy?”

  “You are, Scharfrichter. I’ve been ordered to come back and help you.”

  “Parker!” Cooper stalked over to us with a face full of surly scowls. “Get out of here before you kill another key witness.”

  “Caly wasn’t a witness,” I corrected him. “She was a murderer.”

  Cooper turned to Doc, who walked up behind him. “Get her out of here, Nyce, before I arrest her for pissing off an officer of the law.”

  “That’s sweet,” I said to Cooper as Doc took my hand and began to lead me away. “This is the thanks I get for saving your life. Next time, I’ll let any crazy psycho bitches in the area slice you in half.”

  “Good,” he snapped back. “Then I’d be out of my fucking misery instead of neck deep in another one of your messes.”

  I hissed at him, taking a card from Caly’s deck. “That man needs counseling,” I told Doc.

  “His stress level is out the window,” Doc said. “Remember, he’s only recently come to see the paranormal world. That’s tough on someone who’s used to seeing things in black and white.”

  “Coop may have his horns out at the moment, but he’s as smart as a bunkhouse rat,” Harvey said. “If he wants you out of here, it’s because he is tryin’ to save yer bacon.” He held open the door for Doc and me. “So let’s vamoose before any other badge-toters show up fer the party.”

  Harvey had dropped me off at home where Aunt Zoe waited for me. Doc wanted to go home, shower, and crash. With Caly no longer in the game, there were no worries about playing night guard on the couch for me and the kids, so I sent him on his way along with Harvey.

  Aunt Zoe listened to my tale between my yawns, then I must have fallen asleep on the table. I had a hazy memory of her walking me up the stairs but nothing else.

  Now with the morning sunlight peeking through my window, I felt renewed and ready to face a day full of Jerry, Mona, and Ben. Hell, even the séance to kick Wilda from Cornelius’s life tomorrow night didn’t dampen my outlook since the weight of Caly’s threats had been removed from my world.

  I checked on the kids and headed to the shower. I took my time, enjoying the hot water until it began to turn cold. When I returned to my bedroom, my phone chirped. Someone had sent me a message.

  I picked up my phone expecting Doc, maybe even Jerry, hoping it wasn’t Cooper with a first thing in the morning ass chewing. Or worse, Hawke.

  The sight of Tiffany’s name made me frown. I tapped on the message to read the whole thing: If you’re under the delusion that Doc is your Prince Charming, ready to rescue you and your children with his castle and money, think again, Cinderella. He will see soon enough that the glass slipper is too big for you.

  Due to a lack of caffeine after a freak-filled night, I had to read her message two more times before it sank into my foggy brain. Then I threw my phone on the bed and covered it with my pillow, pretending it was Tiffany I was suffocating.

  Criminy. Why couldn’t Doc have had sport sex with a non-demented chick with droopy boobs and a flabby ass?<
br />
  I dropped onto the side of my bed, sitting with my head between my knees until the blood started pounding in my temples for a reason other than rage.

  If I showed Doc the message, how would he react? Would he believe her?

  I had been pretty pathetic when we’d met with barely any money in my bank account and not a sale to be found. As Tiffany had said, he’d stepped in and played Prince Charming, buying his house from me and keeping me from losing my job. But then I’d gone on to sell the hotel to Cornelius without Doc stepping in to help. If anything, Mona was playing the heroine in my world, helping me land sales and sharing commissions with me. Doc was more often there to pick me up emotionally and dust me off, giving me someone to lust over … and someone to love who didn’t share my bloodline.

  A clucking sound came from my closet. I lifted my head, looking over at my closet door as it inched open. Elvis’s beak pushed out, then one wing, nudging the door open further until she could slip through the opening. Ignoring me completely, she strutted past me all the while clucking to herself and exited through the crack I’d left in my bedroom door.

  I stood and walked over to my closet, opening the door wide. Inside, she’d left me an egg on the floor between my purple cowboy boots, which were slightly crushed and dusted with tiny white down feathers.

  I bent down and picked up the egg. It was still warm.

  Palming Elvis’s parting gift, I stared down at the boots, my heart picking up speed in my chest.

  I knew what I needed to do.

  I grabbed my boots.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The Picklemobile was in the parking lot when I arrived at Calamity Jane Realty. Instead of heading into the office, I veered and stepped inside Doc’s back door.

  “Doc?” I called out, giving him a heads up that I was there.

  “Out front.”

  I could smell his woodsy aftershave when I passed by the open restroom door. He must have hit the gym this morning. And here I’d thought just making it to the shower had been an accomplishment after our go around with Caly last night.