by A. K. Evans
I snuggled into him and his arms tightened around me.
“Will you hold me just a little while longer?”
“Sweetheart, I’d hold you forever if you’d let me.”
If I were ice I would have turned to a puddle at that moment.
“You can’t say things like that, Zane,” I said to him.
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
“Because I can’t handle that. I just stopped crying and that’ll push me over the edge again. Sometimes, we want things that we can’t have. Every time I see your face or hear your voice it reminds me of how badly I want something that I can’t have. When you say stuff like that, it makes it that much worse for me.”
“Emme, if you want me you can have me. I feel like I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m seriously interested in you as more than just friends.”
“I can’t, Zane. It’s for your own good. Please trust me on this. Just know that if things were different I would grab on to you so tight and I’d never let you go.”
“Breaks my fucking heart, Em. Please tell me what’s eating at you. Let me help you get through it. I promise you if you take that chance on me, I’ll fight this battle with you every fucking step of the way, no matter what it is.”
I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and I whispered, “Zane, please. I’m sorry; I can’t.”
He let out a frustrated sigh, but squeezed me tight.
“It’s ok, sweetheart. I’m still here for you whenever you need me.”
Zane stayed with me for a while before I got up and told him I was good. I thanked him again for coming to me and comforting me. He, of course, told me he needed no thanks and that if I ever needed him again he’d be there. I appreciated him so much.
After reassuring him that I was fine, which took a lot of effort, he took off and said he’d catch up with us in a couple hours over at Wes’ place. I spent the rest of the morning talking with Nikki and Monroe. They were more than concerned for me and kept pushing to have me schedule an appointment with a doctor to deal with everything that had happened and to hopefully help me get past the nightmares. I listened to their concerns, but had no intentions of following through on seeing a therapist.
We had breakfast, got ready, and left the condo to head over to Wes’ place. By the time we arrived everyone else was already there. I was really grateful for Wes’ hospitality. It was so nice to have a laid-back day with all my girls and a couple of really great guys.
“Hey Emme,” Wes said as I walked into the kitchen to get a drink while everyone else was in the great room.
“Hi Wes. Just wanted to grab a bottle of water if that’s ok.”
He chuckled and said, “No problem, Em. You don’t need to ask for water.”
I gave him a small smile and then he continued, “I actually wanted to ask you a question. I know you took a couple of pictures when we were riding at Parks Ridge on Friday. Any chance you could send me a couple of the shots you took to check out? If there are some good ones, I would be interested in purchasing them.”
“Sure, I can send them to you tomorrow. If you need me to sign a waiver for the rights to the photos, Wes, I’m happy to do it. You don’t need to pay me for them, though.”
“How do you support yourself, Emme?”
“What do you mean?”
“How do you make a living?” he asked.
“With my photography business,” I answered.
“Ok, so if I want any of the photos I’ll expect you to send me a bill.”
“Wes, you didn’t ask me to take the photos. I did it on my own because I wanted to. If you like any of them you can have them. It’s really not necessary to pay me.”
“Pay you for what?” Stone asked as he walked out into the kitchen.
“Wanted to look at the shots she took on Friday on the pipe. Told her I might be interested in purchasing some if they were good. She doesn’t want to accept payment.”
Stone looked to me and said, “You’re fighting a losing battle, sweet cheeks. He won’t budge on this. Besides, he’s got enough money. If he wants any of them, let him pay for them. He won’t feel it and you deserve to be compensated for your work. If it bothers you that much, give him a discount…not that he needs one.”
I rolled my eyes at the both of them.
“I’ll email them over to you tomorrow after I edit them,” I assured Wes.
He grinned, winked at me, and said, “Appreciate it.”
I spent the rest of the day hanging with the girls trying to soak up the last couple hours of having Nikki and Monroe around. It would likely be at least a solid two months, if not longer, before I’d see them again. A couple hours after dinner we made our way back to the condo. Charley came back with us since she’d be starting her new job at Blackman Boards tomorrow. She insisted on going to work on her own.
When we got back home I had been worried that Nikki or Monroe would make mention of what happened that morning to Charley, but they kept their word and said nothing to her. I loved Charley and that was precisely why I didn’t want her knowing. She had been so miserable for so long and was finally getting to a place where she was happy. I had no intentions of ruining that for her by bringing up painful memories.
The hours passed quickly and the next thing I knew Nikki and Monroe were leaving again to head back to California. It wasn’t easy to see them go, but I knew they’d be back sometime in the next few months to visit again. Thankfully, I didn’t have another nightmare. I didn’t want to make them worry more than I’m sure they already were. After they left I edited the photos for Wes and emailed them over to him. I was surprised at how well some of the shots turned out; at least, I thought they turned out well. I hadn’t done much research on snowboarding photography, but I guess I’d get an answer on whether they were any good if Wes decided he wanted some of them.
Two days later, I received an email back from Wes telling me that he wanted to meet up with me about the pictures and ‘some other stuff.’ I was a bit nervous about it, but he said that he would be coming over to the condo that night with Charley and we could chat then. I didn’t have any plans or shoots scheduled for that evening so I agreed.
It was just before five thirty that night when Charley and Wes walked through the door. I was sitting in the great room doing some research on my laptop on a venue I’d be shooting an engagement session at the following weekend.
“Hey guys,” I said as they walked in.
“Hi, Em,” Charley said.
Wes nodded at me.
They both came in to the great room and sat down. Charley was acting unusually happy. Something was up.
“What’s going on? Why are you in such a good mood?” I asked her.
She didn’t answer, but Wes did.
“As you know, I got the photos you sent over on Monday. I’ve got to say, Emme, you are an incredible photographer.”
I felt my insides warm. It was nice to get that compliment. “Thank you,” I said.
“I’m going to need you to bill me for prints and posters of most of the shots, I’ll email you the specific details for each one we’d like later this week. I have something else I want to ask you about, though.”
I swallowed hard, feeling a bit nervous about what he wanted to ask. I didn’t think it could be that bad since Charley seemed to be in such a good mood, but still, it was slightly nerve-wracking.
“Ok,” I whispered.
“Do you have anything planned, for work or otherwise, for approximately the last week to ten days of this month?” he asked.
“I don’t think so, let me check my schedule.”
I pulled up my calendar on my laptop and noted that I was, in fact, free at the end of January.
“All clear,” I said.
“Awesome. The X Games are during that last week and we’re going to be debuting the first line in the new series of boards we are releasing. These are the boards that Charley is going to be designing. After seeing the pictures you took this past
Friday, I’d really like to have you join us out in Aspen for the X Games. I would need shots of the boards for our marketing material and think you are more than capable of delivering for us.”
My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “Are you serious?” I asked.
“One hundred percent,” he answered.
I looked to Charley.
“Are you going?”
She nodded.
“You really think the shots I took were good enough, Wes? I’ve never done extreme sports. Most of my clientele consists of engaged couples and families. I have a few corporate clients, but none of what they have me doing are action shots. It’s typically just shots of new products for marketing purposes. And while candid shots are a big part of what I do, capturing quality action shots is a whole different thing.”
“I’ve been in this business a long time; first, as a rider, and now as a business owner. As a rider, it used to be my goal to do the craziest tricks I could to get shots taken that would end up being used in promotional materials for my sponsors. I saw those shots then and I still see them to this day as a business owner. What you captured on Friday was just as good and, actually in many cases, better than what I’ve seen in all my years in this business. I have complete confidence in your abilities to get this accomplished for us.”
“Wow. I really appreciate that, Wes. Thank you,” I began. “Since I don’t have anything else planned for that time, I’ll do it. I’m going to want to do a bit of research and get some practice in ahead of time. Will you get me all the details for the trip so I know when I need to be there, how long I need to book my stay for, and what dates I’ll be shooting?”
“I’ll get you the specific dates, but you don’t need to book anything. Blackman Boards will take care of your flight, food, and accommodations while you are there and, of course, we will be paying you for the actual work that you do.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind booking reservations for myself.”
He smiled at me and warned, “Don’t insult me, Emme. We have you covered.”
“I’m sorry, Wes. I didn’t mean to insult you. I do appreciate your offer. Thank you,” I said as I looked away hoping I hadn’t upset him.
When I looked back at Wes and Charley, he had a look of concern on his face and she looked a bit worried. Wes quickly recovered and changed the subject to dinner. I was thankful for the distraction. We ate dinner together that night before I took off to my bedroom.
After getting ready for bed I grabbed my laptop and started doing some research on snowboarding photography. Ten minutes in I realized I would benefit from having the real-world experience. I reached out to the phone on my nightstand. I unlocked the phone and scrolled to Zane’s name or, more precisely, the name I had him saved under. I tapped on his name and put the phone to my ear. After two rings, he answered.
“Hey, Em.”
“Hi, Zane. How’s it going?” I asked.
I hadn’t spoken to him since Sunday. We sent a couple of texts back and forth Monday night, but I knew he was training so I tried to give him the time he needed to rest after those full day training sessions.
“Better now. What’s up with you?” he asked.
“I’m a little scared right now.”
“Of what? What’s wrong?” he asked, panic in his voice.
“I’m fine, Zane. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to worry you. Wes and Charley came here after they left work because Wes wanted to talk to me about something. After looking at pictures I took on Friday of you, him, Stone, and Luke riding the pipe Wes asked me to go to Aspen for the X Games to take photos for the new board line.”
“You’re going to be with us in Aspen?” he asked.
“Us?”
“We all always travel together, Em. You going with us?”
“Well I agreed to do it, so yes, I’m going.”
“Good. So, you said you were scared. Why?” he pressed.
“Wes seems completely convinced that I’m more than capable of doing this based on the pictures I took on Friday. I feel like I need more practice before I dive into a thing like this.”
“I haven’t seen the pictures, but I don’t doubt you can do it. If you want we can go out on Saturday so you can practice a little. I’ll be training then, too.”
“Really? You wouldn’t mind?”
“Why would I mind?”
“I don’t want to distract you or get in the way. Plus, you are in training. Maybe you have some top-secret tricks up your sleeve. You might not want people seeing them before the Games.”
He chuckled. “You planning on taking up snowboarding professionally any time soon?”
“No,” I answered meekly.
“I think we’re good then. I won’t have to worry about you stealing any of my moves.”
“Ok. So, what time should I meet you there?” I asked.
“You don’t. I’ll pick you up after training on Friday night and you can stay at my place. We’ll go together on Saturday morning.”
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Zane.”
“Em, I’ll keep it strictly platonic. Would really like to spend some time with you, though.”
And that’s when I caved.
“Ok, fine. You can pick me up on Friday and I’ll stay with you Friday night on one condition,” I said.
“Which is?”
“I get to use your kitchen that night to make dinner.”
“I’m beginning to think you like me only for my kitchen,” he teased.
“It’s a good fucking kitchen, Zane.”
He laughed. “I’m trying to find the downside to this for me and I’m not sure there is one. It’s a deal, Em.”
“Any special dinner requests?” I asked.
“Whatever you want to make. I’m not picky. Just remember, no peas or lima beans.”
“Ok, I’ll see what I can do. Thank you, Zane.”
“No problem, sweetheart.”
“I’ll see you Friday then. Good night.”
“Good night, Emme.”
I went to bed that night feeling great about my professional life. Even though it felt as though nothing was going right in any other part of my life, this was the one area where I really had no complaints. On that thought, I fell asleep and fortunately, I slept through the night without any nightmares.
Chapter 11
Emme
There was a knock at the door. It was a few minutes after five o’clock on Friday evening and I had just finished packing up everything I needed to take to Zane’s house tonight. I walked to the door and opened it. As soon as I opened the door and saw him I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. Zane’s beautiful face was smiling back at me.
“Hi Zane,” I said.
He stared at me a moment, still smiling.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he said as he finally stepped inside and pressed a kiss to my forehead. The simple gesture made my heart swell.
I stepped back so he could come fully inside. Then, I closed the door.
“How was training today?” I asked.
“Good. I’m finding that I am more motivated as each day passes. Of course, now I’ve got someone I’m trying to make a lasting impression on going out to Aspen, so that pushes me to train harder every day.”
“Snowboarding or not, you’re the kind of guy that leaves a lasting impression no matter what. I think you’ll accomplish your mission.”
He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze.
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yes, but I’ve got a lot of stuff to take. I am going to need some help carrying it all.”
“Not a problem.”
With that, I led Zane into the kitchen where I had packed the food I was planning for dinner tonight, my camera equipment for tomorrow, and my overnight bag for, well, overnight. As he took in everything I had packed up he just chuckled and walked over to it all.
He hoisted everything but the overnight bag up into h
is arms, looked to me and asked, “How heavy is that?”
“Not so heavy that I can’t carry this and something else,” I answered.
“Ok. Get that and I’ve got the rest.”
The two of us walked out of the front door and I locked up. We made it to the Raptor where Zane put all of my stuff he’d been carrying into the back seat. He then took my overnight bag from me, helped me into the front seat, put my bag in the back, and climbed in the driver’s seat. At that, we took off to his place.
Once we arrived at Zane’s he helped me out of the truck then grabbed my overnight bag and the food. As soon as he opened the door, I immediately walked to the kitchen. He followed behind me and set the food I had packed on the island.
“I’m sorry that bag was so heavy,” I began. “I wasn’t sure if you had a rice cooker, so I brought mine. Makes things much easier. I figured you might be hungry after a long day on the mountain. I didn’t want to make something that would take too long, so I decided to make my beef and broccoli. It should only take about twenty-five minutes or so.”
“Appreciate it, Em. I’m starved. Going to strip out of these clothes and take a hot shower. I’ll be back before dinner is ready.”
I let my eyes roam his body while I licked my lips and swallowed hard at the thought of him stripping out of his clothes and being naked in the shower. I really wanted to join him. Damn.
When my eyes made their way back to his I found him looking at me with a questioning look and a cocked eyebrow.
Embarrassed, I looked away wishing I could control my body’s reaction to this beautiful man.
Zane walked over and stood within inches of me. He brought his fingers to my jaw, turned my head to look at him, and said, “Already gave you my word that I’d respect what you asked for and keep this nonsexual and friendly. I’m trying my hardest to honor that, Em. Problem is, I can see that even you don’t like the decision you’ve made. This needs to be on your terms, but I can tell you want this just as much as I do. The ball is in your court, Emme. This is the last thing I’ll say about this and I won’t bring it up again, but if you decide to follow through on what you really want, feel free to join me upstairs.”
