Everything I Have (The Everything Series Book 2)

by A. K. Evans

  “Thanks, Emme. Ok, now we need to get into the tough stuff. Can you tell us a little about your relationship with him? Starting at the beginning.”

  She swallowed hard and nodded. “I started dating him when I was sixteen. I was with him for eight years, but should have left four years into it. When we first started dating he said all the right things and made me feel special. It was the definition of a first love. I was so caught up in him that when he started changing I refused to acknowledge it. I was basically blind to the abuse.”

  “The abuse started four years into it?” Levi asked.

  She shook her head.

  “It was probably a year and a half into it when it started. It only started as verbal and emotional. He would say things to manipulate me and prevent me from being with my friends. He put a strain on my relationship with my parents. I loved him and just wanted to make him happy so I allowed it to happen. Four years into the relationship is when the physical abuse started. During the first year of physical abuse it was just a slap or backhand across the face or he’d pull my hair. As time went on, it got worse. Slaps turned to punches and shoving turned into kicking. The verbal and emotional abuse continued. I was consistently isolated from my family and friends. I could only leave the house if I was going to work or if I was with him. He’d take the money I made from my photo shoots. And then, over the course of the last year he,” she paused and became visibly uncomfortable. A single tear fell from eyes and she looked to the ground.

  I squeezed her shoulder. I could feel the tension in her neck, back, and shoulders.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve never told anyone this.”

  “Take all the time you need,” Cruz assured her, gently.

  A minute later, with her head still down and her eyes still on the ground, she said, “I guess it should come as no surprise that after everything he was doing to me I was no longer interested in…being intimate with him. Unfortunately, it didn’t matter what I wanted; he wouldn’t accept that.”

  I was going to lose my fucking mind. Emme’s head was still down and I looked to everyone else in the room. Wes’ jaw was clenched, Charley was quietly crying with her palm covering her mouth, and my brothers had their hands balled in fists. They all fucking knew what she was going to say.

  “The first time he raped me was the worst.”

  The first time? How many fucking times were there?

  “He wanted to have sex and I didn’t. He kept pushing himself on me. I pushed back and I said no. He didn’t want to hear it. He began pulling at my clothes, ripping them off my body. I tried,” she said through tears. “I tried so hard to fight him, but after so long I just didn’t have the strength anymore. He got my clothes off and he took what he wanted. That night I realized I no longer had any control. From that point forward, I always said no, but never fought back. He would have just taken it anyway.”

  “Jesus Christ,” I growled as I pulled Emme into my chest. She was full-blown crying now.

  “Oh my God,” Charley whispered. “How could I have not known?”

  “We’re done today,” I said to Levi.

  He nodded and said, “Going to get to work right away, Zane. Your house is set up with the security system and cameras, so you need to keep her there until we find him. Going to put someone on her. I think it’s best, considering what she’s been through, that she gets to meet the team. She needs to be comfortable. My guys are the best and I trust them all with my life, but if there is anyone she’s uncomfortable with we don’t put that man on her. They’ll work behind the scenes on her case. Think you can bring her to the office tomorrow so we can make that happen?”

  I nodded.

  “If she isn’t up to it yet, Cruz and I will cover her until she’s ready. Get our numbers into her phone right away. If she trusts your boys, get their numbers there, too. If you need to leave your house for any reason, let us know. If she is going to be working and you can’t be there, we’ll have someone covering her. Know the US Open is coming up in a little over two weeks — if you need to leave your house to train and she’s going to be there alone, make sure we know so someone can be with her.”

  “Don’t give a fuck about the Open right now,” I said as I looked to Wes. “Sorry, and no disrespect to you or the brand Wes, but she’s my priority.”

  “I’d expect nothing less, Zane. Take care of your girl. The brand isn’t going anywhere and I’d be doing the same exact thing.”

  Levi turned to Wes and said, “As a precaution, since the situation is the same at your house with security keep Charley there. We can get their place wired and set up with security, but for now they both shouldn’t be here.”

  Wes nodded.

  Levi stood to leave. Cruz put his hand on my shoulder and said, “You focus on taking care of her. We’ll worry about keeping her safe and finding him.”

  “Thanks, Cruz.”

  With that, they both walked to the door and let themselves out.

  “Emme,” Charley called out softly after Levi and Cruz left.

  She pulled her face from my chest and looked at Charley.

  “I’m so sorry, Em. I should have done something; I should have done more. I knew something wasn’t right, but I never knew it was that bad. I swear, honey, if I had known what he was doing to you…” she said, before her emotions got the best of her and she broke down into tears.

  “It’s not your fault, Charley. I was good at keeping it a secret.”

  “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  Emme shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know. I was ashamed, I guess. And on the rare occasions that I got to be with you, Nik, and Monroe I didn’t want to be wallowing in self-pity.”

  “Self-pity? Em, you were being raped and beaten.”

  “And it’s ugly, Charley. Most of my life was ugly and dirty because of what he did to me. You girls were one of the beautiful, clean things that I had left. I didn’t want to ruin that. Please don’t be mad at me.”

  Charley got up and walked over to us. She pulled Emme into a hug, held her tight, and maintained, “I’m not mad at you, honey. I’m mad at myself and I’m so sorry for not being a better friend to you.”

  I looked to Wes and knew he was feeling exactly how I was. These two girls had been through hell and back. It was a wonder they were still standing.

  “Charley, baby?” Wes called.

  “Yeah, Wes?” she said as she pulled back from Emme.

  “Why don’t we go make some breakfast for everyone and then we can get to packing up some stuff?”

  Charley looked at him, but didn’t move to get up nor did she say anything.

  “Gorgeous, I know this isn’t going to be easy for the two of you, but Levi is right. Your safety is the number one concern right now. My house is big enough as is Zane’s. You and Emme want time together, we can easily make it happen at one of our homes. You want your girls to come in from California, we can make that happen, too. I’ll pay for their tickets and get them here if that’s what the two of you need right now. But, first, we need to get you both packed up and out of here.”

  She nodded to him and said, “Thank you, honey.”

  At that, the two of them went to the kitchen to work on breakfast while I held my girl in my lap and tried to figure out how the hell I was going to make her smile again.

  Chapter 20

  Emme

  “Will you do me a favor?”

  I was currently looking up at Zane as I had my head resting in his lap while we sat on the couch in his great room. I loved this couch; it held good memories for me. Zane and I had just finished dinner. With the events from this morning, he refused to allow me to cook so we ordered in. I didn’t have much of an appetite, but he insisted I eat something. The way he took care of me today when I was ready to just walk out on him had me realizing that I needed to make sure my life and all of its problems didn’t affect his to the point I knew it already was.

  “Anything, Emme. What do you need?”
he asked.

  “I want you to make me a promise that you are going to continue training for the US Open,” I said.

  “Please don’t ask me to make that promise, Em.”

  “I’m serious, Zane. I want you to train. I want you to compete at the US Open and I want to go with you so that I can watch you win.”

  His face warmed and he gave me a small smile as he looked down at me.

  “Sweetheart, I’ll give you anything you want, but I want to make sure my focus is on you and your safety. That’s my number one priority.”

  “And I really appreciate that, I do. But today you called your brothers to my place so that they could handle this. There is a reason you did that. You trust them to get the job done and because I trust you, I believe that they will do what they need to just to make sure that I’m safe. I hope you know that I always want to be where you are, but I’m not ok with you giving up something so important to you. Who won the Open last year for the men’s half pipe?”

  “I did.”

  “So, you have a title to defend and I want you to do that. You’ve worked hard and deserve to be able to see the fruits of that labor. It’s important and it matters.”

  “Emme…fuck, sweetheart, none of that shit matters. You do. You. Matter. Swear to God, Em, all of it — I’d give all of it up because everything I have means nothing without you.”

  “You had this all before I came along, Zane. And you’ve worked hard for it. Of course it means something.”

  “Wrong, Emme. It meant something before I knew you existed. Now, it means nothing because you exist in this world. And if something happens to you because I’m not around to make sure you are safe, I’m left with nothing.”

  I let out a sigh. I was not going to be ok with all of this if he gave up his passion.

  “Zane, please listen to me. Today, before leaving my place, Cruz said that you should focus on taking care of me and that he and Levi would focus on making sure I was safe. Let them do the job you already know they can do. You can focus on doing what your brother said you should and that’s taking care of me, which you’ve already been doing seemingly effortlessly. You refused to let me leave today; you wouldn’t let me run. I’ve thought about it all day and I need to be honest, I’m glad you made me stay because it made me realize that if I run he still has all the power. He took my control from me back then. If you give up riding because of this, he still has the control. I wasn’t strong enough on my own to fight him before, but I have you now to fight him with me. Baby, help me get back what he took from me.”

  Zane held my eyes a beat. “Christ. Will I ever be able to say no to you?” he asked.

  I smiled up at him. He was going to start training again.

  “Here’s the deal,” he began. “I don’t start training again until you go into the offices to meet Levi’s crew. I want to know you are comfortable with everyone that will be with you. I know we’ve already programmed everybody’s numbers in your phone, but Em, you always call me first. I don’t care if I’m in the middle of training. You need to hold up your end of the deal and call me first. And then, five minutes or less, yeah?”

  I nodded.

  “What is your work schedule like from now until early March?” he asked.

  “Light. Only a couple of shoots are booked, but they’re all during the week thankfully. It’s not wedding season so that helps.”

  “You want me to train I need you to do me a favor,” he started. “Don’t want to take you away from doing what you love, but I need you to compromise and not book anything additional from now until after the US Open. Book all the appointments you want after that, but I’ll be able to focus better if I know you aren’t out there somewhere that I can’t be. Don’t want you more vulnerable.”

  “Ok, I can do that.”

  “Really?” he asked.

  “Of course. It’s only a little over two weeks before the Open — it’s not a big deal. Besides, we’re fighting this together, right?”

  He smiled at me a moment before his face got serious. “Every step of the way, sweetheart. I’m sorry that you ever had to do it alone.”

  I took in a deep breath.

  “I wasn’t very good at it, not recently and definitely not back then either,” I said as I looked away. I paused a moment before continuing, “Sometimes I wonder if I should have fought harder. I know physically I didn’t stand a chance, but mentally I gave up and allowed him to do what he did during that last year.”

  “Emme, look at me,” he said.

  I looked to him.

  “You told us earlier today that you said no every time, but that you didn’t physically fight him. Was that true?”

  I nodded.

  “Then you didn’t allow him to do anything. You said no. He took advantage of you. You just did what you had to do to survive; and Em, what you’ve endured — fuck, you’re the strongest woman I know.”

  I swallowed hard debating how to ask him what I needed to ask. In his typical mind-reading fashion Zane said, “Just ask me whatever it is because I can see there’s something.”

  “Am I a complete turn off now?” I asked quietly.

  “Come again?”

  “Now that you know the whole ugly truth of what happened, are you repulsed by me?”

  “You serious?” he asked, disbelievingly.

  I nodded.

  Zane looked at me a moment before he admitted, “I fucking love you, Emme.”

  He lifted me up and pulled me into his chest. He then nuzzled his face into my neck and I soaked up the warmth that I felt in hearing him say those words to me.

  “I love you, too,” I said, my voice a hushed whisper.

  He squeezed a little tighter and held me a minute longer before he pulled back to look at me. I continued talking.

  “And I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” he asked.

  I answered, “The first time I told you I loved you should have been beautiful. I’m sorry that it was marred by him.”

  “Sweetheart, it doesn’t matter that it wasn’t the definition of a perfect setting for what you said to be beautiful. The affirmation from you that you love me could never be anything but beautiful.”

  “Baby…” I said, trailing off.

  “Fucking love that, too, Em.”

  My brows drew together.

  “Hearing you call me that. Love it, Emme.”

  I smiled up at him while he ran his fingers through my hair.

  “Will you do me one more favor, Zane?”

  “Anything.”

  “I’d like to go up and take a shower to wash away the bad stuff from today. After, I’d like you to replace all the bad, ugly stuff with something beautiful. Will you make love to me tonight?”

  “Not sure I’d consider that as me doing you a favor, but yeah, I’ll give that to you.”

  With that, Zane snaked an arm under my knees and wrapped the other around my back. He lifted me up while he stood and then he carried me up to his bedroom. He walked through the room to the bathroom, set me down on my feet, and turned to put the shower on. When he turned back to look at me he said, “Told you I’ll fight this with you. I’ll fight every part of it until you get back everything you lost or until it’s been replaced by something better, something beautiful. A week ago, I told you that you don’t do this alone anymore. I know more now than I did a week ago. I’m still not going to let you do this alone, but I think it’s important that you tell me what you want my role to be in some situations. One of those situations is right now. You want to wash away the bad, Em, you’ve got to let me know how you want it to happen because it needs to be your choice. You feel like you need to do that by yourself and have me waiting to give you the good, I’ll do that. But sweetheart, if you want me there to help you wash it away as well, I can do that, too.”

  My eyes got wet and a lumped formed in my throat. Seth took away my control. Zane was going to give it back to me. I tried to swallow past the lump, failed, but managed to g
et out, “I want to get rid of it and I want you to give me beauty after.”

  He gave me a small smile before he pressed a kiss to my forehead and said, “You’ve got it; I’ll be right outside if you need me.” Then, he walked out.

  At that, I stripped out of my clothes and walked into the steaming shower. The water temperature was perfect and I stood there allowing the hot water to ease some of the tension in my body. I wasn’t so naive to believe that a couple minutes in the shower would take away all of my stress and worries, especially considering my ex was still out there, but I’d settle for the little bit of relief I could get out of the shower and then the peace and love I knew Zane would give me afterward.

  I got to work on doing my business in the shower before I stood under the spray one last time allowing the water to take away any remains of the ugliness from the day. Finally, I switched off the shower, dried off, wrapped a towel about my body, and moved to pull my hair dryer from my bag of toiletries that Zane brought upstairs for me earlier when we got back to his place. I dried my hair, brushed my teeth, put lotion on my face and body, and walked out into the bedroom.

  “Random question,” he said as he looked at me from the bed, where he sat in a pair of boxer briefs.

  Damn, he was one fine man.

  “Ok,” I responded.

  “You always dry your hair after you shower?”

  I nodded and said, “I hate having wet hair. I especially despise it when I am about to hop into bed because I’ll wake up in the middle of the night feeling cold. I hate being cold. It’s worth the extra ten minutes now so I don’t freeze later. Why?”

  “No reason. Just curious.”

  I had to laugh a little. Zane always managed to surprise me with his unplanned inquisitions. I loved the way he would take these moments occasionally to learn more about me.

  “Feel better?” Zane asked, now walking toward me.

  I nodded as he stood in front of me.

  He took one of my hands in his and brought his other up to my scalp. He ran his fingers through my hair as his eyes followed his fingers down my strands. When he reached the end of the strands his hand came up to cup the side of my face and his thumb brushed back and forth across my cheek.