JEGUDIEL: A Deadly Virtues Novel

by Cole, Tillie

  She had stopped him. Gabriel couldn’t process what he was seeing; shock rendered him motionless.

  With his collar off, Noa had stopped Diel.

  “Breathe,” Noa said, her soft voice cutting through the heavy silence in the gym. “Remember, you control the darkness.” She didn’t look back at them all but said, “These are your brothers. My sisters. They are not our enemy. You are in control. These are not people to kill.”

  Diel’s head ticked as if he were fighting some inner conflict, but Gabriel could see by the concentration on Diel’s face that he was listening to her, as though whatever she was saying was the final word of God and he a chosen prophet.

  Gabriel reared back in shock. She was reasoning with him. Without his collar to center him. Diel took a steady breath as Noa spoke. Then he used his purchase on her back to crush her to his body and brought his mouth to hers.

  Gabriel’s eyes widened at the sight of their passionate kiss. Not soft or tender, but wild and without restraint.

  Gabriel didn’t know this man before them. Diel’s hand moved to the back of Noa’s head, keeping her tightly pressed against him, unable to tear her mouth from his. Noa moaned, and Gabriel averted his eyes.

  Diel had never wanted a lover. As far as Gabriel was aware, Diel had never made love to anyone. He had never craved sex or romantic companionship. But the Diel before him right now … it was like he was in a desert and Noa was a sparkling oasis offering him salvation.

  “Someone’s got a girlfriend …” Bara sang behind Gabriel, and Uriel and Raphael laughed under their breaths.

  Gabriel looked at Dinah. She was facing her sisters, but then turned back to Noa and Diel, who were finally breaking apart. Dinah sighed, and the glance she sent Gabriel showed him the concern she felt for her sister too.

  Noa moved back beside Diel and rested her elbow on his shoulder. Her lips were red and swollen from Diel’s ravaging of her mouth. She smiled, lapping her tongue around her lips as Diel’s gaze became as hard as sapphire on the crowd watching him. He folded his arms over his wide, muscled chest but kept his bicep pressed to Noa, as if they couldn’t be severed apart.

  “Surprise!” Noa sang sarcastically, that cold smirk morphing into a wide, provocative grin. Noa looked up at Diel. “Looks like they’ve been waiting for us.”

  Diel cocked his head. Then a matching smirk to Noa’s formed on his mouth. Gabriel was frozen, paralyzed. He knew how to deal with all his brothers. He knew how to take on Diel—both sides of his torn personality. But he didn’t know what to do with this Diel. The one brimming with self-worth. The one with darkness practically a visible cloak around him, protecting every part of him.

  But even in Gabriel’s motionless state, a glimmer of pride shimmered in his heart. This Diel looked strong. This Diel looked calm. This Diel looked like he had finally found peace with himself.

  “Diel?” Sela broke from Gabriel’s side and walked a few steps toward his best friend. Diel watched him the entire way, a neutral expression on his face.

  It was strange. Gabriel could still see the old Diel in the man before him. He could still sense the demon that had always lurked under his skin, but … Gabriel released a quick exhale in realization. With no collar … this was Diel and the demon. Consolidated. As one. Gabriel’s legs threatened to buckle when he realized why Diel’s eyes looked so different—there was no more torment in their depths. No more fear.

  Gabriel’s eyes filled with tears.

  Diel’s torment had disappeared.

  “Your collar …” Sela said. Gabriel refocused on his brothers.

  “Is gone,” Diel said, his voice lower, stronger, and less strained. Noa moved her fingertips to his deep, gouged-out scar, softly caressing the permanently wounded skin. Diel didn’t faze her. She didn’t fear him at all. Sela approached until he stood right in front of his best friend. The room was stagnant as they all waited for what Sela would say and what Diel would do in response.

  Every muscle in Diel’s body was tensed, veins protruding from his skin and tendons corded as if they were about to snap. The happiness Gabriel felt in his heart for Diel was quickly pushed away when a new concern pressed upon him—which side of Diel was now more dominant? The monster or the man?

  If it was the monster …

  Gabriel went to stride forward, to push Sela back until they knew if this Diel could be trusted. But before Gabriel had even made it two steps, Sela smiled widely, put his hand around Diel’s savaged neck and pulled Diel to his chest. “About fucking time, brother.”

  Gabriel froze. He watched, breath held, as a tense Diel stood like a statue against Sela. Gabriel cut a quick glance to Noa. She was watching Diel closely, and even through her shield of overt coldness, Gabriel saw warmth in her stare as she watched Diel with what looked like deep pride in her eyes.

  Gabriel looked back at Diel and Sela, only to see Diel’s eyes close and a long exhale sail from his mouth. Then Diel’s arms came up and briefly embraced his best friend. Gabriel’s heart boomed like a canon. Diel was embracing Sela. His collar was off, and he was staying in control.

  Diel had rarely ever embraced his brothers. The brothers had barely embraced Diel. They never knew what might trigger his monster’s wrath.

  Gabriel fought back the tidal wave of sadness that threatened to bring him to his knees. Diel, for as long as he had known him, had never experienced any kind of physical affection for fear of him losing control.

  An entire life empty of affection …

  As if Diel could hear Gabriel’s emotions battering his body from the inside out, he opened his eyes, locked them on Gabriel and moved back from Sela. Sela stepped aside.

  Gabriel met Diel’s blue gaze. Gabriel sensed that familiar darkness in his brother, the one he had always known.

  In less than a second, Gabriel was back in Purgatory that first day after he had stabbed Father Quinn as a teen. He was back inside the dorm that had become the Fallen’s home for too many pain-filled years. And he was back looking at the boy in chains, shackled to a narrow bed, all blue eyes and black hair, skin and bones, with darkness looming around him like a sharpened spear primed to be launched at any given moment.

  He was back to the moment he awaited his brothers at the manor. When they walked through the doors, not understanding how and why they had been let out of their Brethren prison. And he remembered Diel still in his chains, remembered later when they placed the electric collar around his neck so his monster didn’t overwhelm him—so that Diel could obey the Fallen’s commandments and not be a danger to anyone within their home.

  “Brother,” Gabriel rasped, jerked back into the moment and looking at Diel without his collar. Yes, Gabriel sensed Diel’s familiar darkness, the monster still living and breathing in his soul. But the man was still there too. Gabriel’s attention fell to the scar around Diel’s neck.

  “I am in control,” Diel said, making Gabriel focus back on his face. Diel was breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, slow and steady. His head still ticked, his eyes still blinked too fast at times, as if he were fighting, always fighting. But …

  “You’re in control,” Gabriel whispered, and something settled in his chest. No, something was being extinguished. Gabriel had seven ever-roaring fires inside him, one for each of his brothers. And one for himself. One had already been doused—Raphael, he realized. When Raphe had fallen in love with Maria, the flames of his fire had become soft-burning embers rather than a blazing inferno. And now another fire was waning in strength, fading to crackling cinders. Diel. It was the fire that belonged to Diel.

  Diel’s jaw clenched, then his arms fell to his sides and his tightly fisted hands relaxed. “I’m in control,” Diel said hoarsely. His nostrils flared; his cheeks twitched with obvious concentration and effort. But he was doing it. Diel was actually staying in control. Gabriel felt a small, victorious smile etch onto his mouth. “I let him in.” Diel’s breathing came more easily the more he spoke. Gabriel wasn’t sure i
f he had ever been as proud of anyone as he was of Diel in that moment.

  Diel reached out beside him, and Noa took his hand. She had been standing silently beside him this entire time, seemingly Diel’s pink-haired guardian angel. “The collar came off and I let the monster in. Where he should have always been—a part of me.” Diel’s shoulders loosened. “Just … me.”

  Gabriel looked at Noa. She was waiting for the Fallen’s leader, her eyes narrowed, her stance firm. She tilted her chin higher, clearly waiting for Gabriel’s censure, his anger at her stealing the collar’s key, her risking them all in this way.

  But then Gabriel bowed his head slightly and whispered, “Thank you.” Noa’s eyes widened. “Thank you for saving my brother.”

  A faint blush coated Noa’s cheeks. But then she looked at Diel, who was staring down at her like she was his sun, like she was his savior. Diel’s hand tightened around hers. And Gabriel saw it then, whatever was between them—he saw it shining from their souls like beams of white light.

  Noa finally tore herself away from Diel to refocus on Gabriel. “He saved himself.” She lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of Diel’s. “He saved himself.”

  Gabriel took a step forward, his heart rattling in his chest. He put his hand around the back of Diel’s neck and pulled Diel toward him. Diel’s forehead rested against Gabriel’s, and Gabriel felt a lump build in his throat. His tongue felt too thick in his mouth as he held back tears—happy tears for Diel, for the lifelong battle he had won that day. “I’m proud of you,” Gabriel whispered, just for him and Diel.

  Diel exhaled a long breath. To Gabriel, it sounded like freedom.

  Footsteps sounded behind them. Gabriel stepped away from Diel and turned to see his brothers approaching. One by one, Uriel, Raphael and Bara embraced Diel. Even Michael stood before him, looking him in the eyes and nodding his head once.

  “Not gonna lie,” Bara said. “I’m gonna miss you losing your shit and dropping to the floor when the collar took you out.” Bara’s smile was wide, taunting, but toward his brothers, his snarks and insults were always delivered with a sheen of veiled affection.

  Diel smirked, a sight Gabriel would have to get used to. “Don’t worry, brother. I can still lose my shit.” Noa backed away from Diel and walked toward her sisters, laughing low at Diel’s retort. Diel stepped closer to Bara. Gabriel stilled, waiting to see if Diel really was in control. But Diel simply said, “Only there won’t be a collar to stop me this time.” Diel’s wide smile mirrored Bara’s. “Nothing but me will stop me again.”

  “Anyone else looking forward to their sparring matches now?” Uriel said, and all the brothers laughed. Gabriel let out a long breath of relief.

  Bara put his hand on Diel’s shoulder. “No collar, and getting pink witch pussy.” Bara shook his head. “If I didn’t love myself and my wicked good life so fucking much, I might just envy you, brother.”

  “At least you don’t have a monster inside of you,” Raphael said to Bara as he made his way back to Maria.

  “No monster,” Bara said, arms wide. “I’m one hundred percent evil sociopath.” He bowed dramatically. “I truly am blessed.”

  “Hey!” Gabriel turned to the sound of Noa’s voice. Diel’s head snapped up. Noa braided back her long hair, then cracked her neck from side to side. “Are we going to fight, or are you pussies going to stand around gossiping all day?”

  “Fight,” Diel said, pushing through his brothers and facing down the woman who had freed him from himself, a new kind of restorative energy exuding from his pores. “We’re going to fucking fight.”

  So, Gabriel fell into step beside his brothers, the Coven of witches opposite, excitement flaring in their eyes too.

  And for once, Gabriel’s gut didn’t warn him of something bad, some fall into darkness and sin. Instead, with the Coven and Fallen joined together in the gym, and Diel free from the collar, all Gabriel’s senses told him this was more than good.

  They told him this was meant to be.

  Chapter 14

  “We need to speak later,” Dinah quietly said to Noa. Noa playfully rolled her eyes. They would talk, of course; they always did. It was why the Coven was so strong as a unit—no one ever shied away from the tough conversations.

  Noa knew that Dinah had to be pissed at what she’d done. That she hadn’t told her of her plans. But she saw happiness in Dinah’s eyes too. Noa had never taken a lover. Ever. Never opened herself up to anyone, barely even her sisters at times. When they had escaped from the Brethren, her life had been consumed by retaliation and Brethren deaths. After the boy … after Priscilla left … Noa had been focused on keeping from hurtling back to the pitch-black place that had enveloped her for years.

  Noa could see the delight in Dinah’s gaze that she had been swayed to someone’s side, even if that look was also paired with exasperation at the underhanded way in which she’d done it.

  Dinah was her closest friend. Despite Noa’s darkness, Dinah wanted her, above anything, to be happy.

  Dinah stepped out of the Coven’s grouping. Jo and Candace shifted to stand on either side of Noa. “I may not want to fuck men,” Candace said quietly, “but even I can see how pretty your new boy is.” A huff of laughter spilled from Noa’s mouth.

  “I second that,” Jo said, and Noa’s eyes searched for Diel among his brothers. As Noa was growing accustomed to, he was already watching her. Her blood spiked with heat at the sight of him. That paired with the fact she and her sisters were about to fight the Fallen, and she nearly incinerated on the spot.

  “We’ll start with the basics,” Dinah said, pacing between the two groups. Most of the Fallen were bare chested and wearing sweats. All except Michael, who was dressed head to toe in black as usual. He wore a vial of blood around his neck, and Noa instantly wanted to know the story behind that.

  “The basics?” Bara said, red eyebrow raised at Dinah. “Here’s the ‘basics’ for us. It’s guns and ropes and chains and knives.” Bara pointed to his chest. “And for me, the occasional flame thrower when I want to hear a symphony of screams. I think we have the basics covered, head witch.”

  “And without the weapons?” she said.

  “Like I said before,” Uriel said. “We’re born killers. We can handle ourselves.” Uriel’s body was more metal than flesh, his tattoos an intricate tapestry over his cut and built physique.

  “Then let’s see it,” Noa said, and all eyes fell on her. “Us versus you. No weapons. Just bare hands and fists. And whatever moves you have in your arsenal.”

  “We’ll kill you,” Sela said. Noa knew by his direct tone that it wasn’t a threat—he believed the Fallen would kill them. He surveyed the Coven as though he were looking at living, breathing art.

  “We can take you,” Noa said, and Diel began rocking from one foot to the other, eyes fixed on her. She could practically see the eagerness pumping through his veins. He’d be coming for her first. It was their fucked-up form of foreplay, and the thought made her clit throb under her leathers. After the way they had fought in the folly, she could hardly wait.

  “Diel?” Gabriel said, and Diel turned to him. “Can you handle this? Is it too soon?”

  “I’m in control,” Diel rasped. He looked back at Noa. “I want to fight them.”

  “If you feel yourself slipping, if you feel that control spiraling …”

  “He won’t.” Noa shook out her arms and legs. Only one hundred percent confidence for Diel rested in her heart. “He’ll be able to pull back if it all gets to be too much. He can do it.” Noa lost a breath at the look that settled on Diel’s face when she said that. She wasn’t used to the racing of her heart, the pull in her gut toward him, like she was a ship and Diel the anchor that kept her from sailing away.

  “So, what’s the plan?” Raphael said. Maria moved to the back of the gym, slight apprehension on her face as she backed away from where they would fight. Raphael cracked his knuckles, his golden eyes glowing with excitement. The s
tring he always wrapped around his finger was firmly in place.

  Dinah looked back at her sisters and nodded. Noa braced her body and smiled at Diel. “We’ll see what you’ve got.”

  As Noa surveyed the Fallen’s faces, the only one who seemed apprehensive was Gabriel. Dinah tied her braids back into a low pony and then said, “Come at us.”

  The Fallen seemed to be waiting for Gabriel. On a long sigh, Gabriel nodded, and the Fallen charged like beasts being freed from cages.

  Noa smiled, pulse racing, as Diel flew from his spot to where she stood. Noa and her sisters were scattered. It was purposely done. Diel’s body slammed into Noa, and they went barreling to the floor. Noa rolled onto her knees and got to her feet. She swung her fists, but Diel blocked every single shot. He knocked her onto her back, climbing above her, but Noa kneed him in the gut. Diel grunted at the impact. His distraction earned her enough time to slip out from underneath him. She wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled tight.

  A roar ripped from Diel’s mouth, and he flipped her onto her back. His heavy body smothered her, his hands pinning her wrists to the ground. Diel’s face hovered above hers, and strands of his dark hair brushed her cheek.

  “I’ve got you,” he said. Noa could feel his hardness on her crotch as he lowered his legs to hers, pinning her even more strongly. The gym floor was rock solid beneath her back. Noa struggled against his hold, but he was granite. Diel pressed his forehead to hers, then flicked out his tongue, circling the perimeter of her lips. Noa was flooded with heat, with need, but then—

  “Stop.”

  Dinah’s loud command stopped everyone dead. Diel moved his mouth to Noa’s ear. “You can’t beat me, baby.” The challenge of the words, that term of endearment, burned inside of Noa, as hot as a the surface of the sun. Diel freed her from the ground and she jumped to her feet. The Fallen were backing away, triumphant grins on their faces.

  Uriel crossed his muscular arms over his chest, seemingly bored by the too-easy exercise. Bara’s wide, mocking grin was as bright as his hair. Raphael’s eyes blazed; Sela’s were narrowed in suspicion. Michael stayed indifferent, only a bead of sweat on his forehead any indication that he had fought at all. Gabriel was frowning, catching his breath with his hands on his trim hips. Anyone could see that the priestly leader abhorred violence of any kind, but Noa also saw that his hatred of the fighting was overridden by the confusion clouding his face.