by Zoe York
“I should go.”
“There’s that should word again.” He pressed his forehead to hers and took a deep breath. “If you’re not comfortable, then this doesn’t go any further. I don’t want to do anything that you’re not okay with. But, for the record, you’re driving me absolutely insane right now and I want very badly to take you to bed.”
She swallowed, her gaze catching his. She wanted it, too. God help her, she wanted it like air.
“I don’t know what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours, but if it has anything to do with what happened…” His voice caught. “Shelby, you’re so perfect. I want to spend the night exploring every inch of you. I want to learn what makes you tick, what makes you moan. I want you like I have never wanted another person in my entire life.”
His words cut through her fear and struck her deep in the chest…and somewhere lower. It was only one night and she could run away in the morning. She could be on a plane next week and watch the inevitable explosion from a distance. A safe distance.
She could have it all—one perfect night with Nate and zero consequences.
“I want you too, Nate,” she said, sucking in a deep breath.
“Yeah?” He cupped her face.
She nodded. “Take me inside.”
By the time they made it to Nate’s bedroom, Shelby was almost trembling with need. Nate shoved her against the door and kissed long and deep. His mouth coaxed hers open and his hands roamed her body, tugging at her straps and the tie at her waist. Her dress landed in a puddle at her feet and she kicked off her sandals while Nate yanked the belt from his jeans.
“Bloody hell,” he whispered as she brought her hands to his shirt, the buttons tricky beneath her shaking fingers. “That’s quite a sight.”
He captured her wrists and looked at her. Really looked at her. The pink bra had matching underwear, the colour light and feminine in a way that made her feel good. His burning gaze sucked her in, sweeping over her in a trail so hot it stole her breath.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Her eyes shut at the compliment, as if trying to block it out but only for a moment. She was beautiful and she deserved to have a man lust over her. She deserved to indulge in something that would make her feel good. She deserved pleasure and release and a moment of peace where the past didn’t matter.
Shelby stripped the shirt from Nate’s body. He was a specimen of physical perfection. He’d been a runner in high school and that lean body had filled out in adulthood with sculpted muscle, trim hips and…she moaned when her hand cupped the hard length of him through his jeans.
“It’ll be better when we get these off,” he said.
He stripped himself of his jeans and boxer-briefs underwear in one fluid movement. Then he stood before her, naked. Inviting. The hard jut of his cock left her mouth dry.
“Turn around,” he said.
As she did, he came up behind her. Fingertips traced the length of her spine, causing goose bumps to ripple across her skin. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself drown in the feeling of him touching her.
“As much as I appreciate these lacy things,” he said, his breath warm at the back of her shoulder. “I think I’d prefer you unadulterated.”
“Is that another one of your big words?” She hummed a pleasure sound as his hands swept her hair forward, his lips pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. The scruff on his chin rasped against her, a contrast to the softness of his mouth.
Awareness raced through her veins as his fingers caught the clasp at the back of her bra, flicking it open. She shrugged out of the lacy confinement and tossed it to the floor. Against the simple, masculine colours of the room, the lace looked ethereal and out of place. But before she could get too far into her own head, his hands came around her waist and dipped slowly down between her legs.
“Like I said…I’ve got a whole binder to get through.”
She arched into him as his fingers curled against her, and a gasp caught in her throat. He found the aching bud of her clit, his fingers stroking it in slow maddening circles. Stars danced behind her closed eyelids, the pleasure so sharp and consuming that she could barely hold herself upright.
“Have you got a word for this?” Her nails dug into his thighs as she writhed against him.
“My brain doesn’t seem to be functioning at all, right now.” His throaty chuckle reverberated against the side of her neck as his fingers drew her closer to release.
She turned her head and tried to capture a kiss. “Mine either.”
A shudder wracked her body. His fingers worked her as if they knew exactly what she wanted, where she wanted it and how she wanted it. Nate knew her on so many levels and even though they’d never done this before, it felt right. Familiar. Perfect.
“I can feel how close you are.” His voice was scratchy with need, and the words set off a chain reaction in her that had her tumbling over the edge.
“Nate,” she gasped, as an orgasm rippled through her and knocked the strength out of her legs.
He held her upright, his strong arms supporting her. As the waves of pleasure subsided, she brushed her fingertips over the crescent moon-shaped indentations among the dusting of golden hair on his thighs where she’d gripped him.
“I’ve left a mark,” she said.
“Good.” He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. “When I wake up tomorrow I’ll have a reminder of how you felt coming against my hand.”
All the heat in her body rushed to her cheeks. “So long as I didn’t hurt you.”
“No need to worry about that.” His hands came to the waistband of her underwear and he slowly drew the fabric down. “I’m sturdy.”
Yes, he was. Nate’s body was all lean muscle and she turned, letting herself take a long hard look at him. Capturing him in her mind. She wanted to remember this forever.
“My turn?” She trailed her fingertip down his flat stomach. While he’d been pleasuring her, not a single thought about her body had popped into her head. Not a worry about her stomach, or about him being able to support her. Nothing.
It was like she could lose herself in the moment with him. She could forget her pain and the past and just…be.
Her hand brushed the tip of his cock. A ragged sound rumbled in his throat as she wrapped her fingers around him, tentative. Exploratory. His hard length moved against her palm as he pressed his hips forward, sliding farther into her grip.
“You better not do that for too long,” he rasped. “I’ve got plans that don’t involve me coming in the first five seconds.”
She moved her hand up and down, breath hitching at the way his hips jerked to meet her movements. It made her feel powerful. In control. Knowing she could command his pleasure fuelled her with something sparkling and warm. Nate grabbed her wrist and marched her to the bed. The backs of her calves hit the soft mattress and she dropped, pulling him down until he pinned her beneath him. Strong thighs parted her softer ones.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” she breathed.
This level of neediness was out of character for her. Nate had tapped into something deep inside her, like flipping a switch. Maybe it was the way he looked at her as though she were his dessert, served up with a cherry on the side, ready to be devoured. Or maybe it was that she knew it was so much more than that…to both of them.
This wasn’t simply about sex.
He balanced himself on one hand and reached to the drawers beside the bed, producing a foil packet. Sheathing himself, he ran his hands up and down the length of his cock for a few seconds and she feasted her eyes on it. Condoms weren’t exactly on her sexy list, but he even made those look good.
A tremor ran through her. “I need you inside me. Now.”
He paused, taunting her. He leaned forward, bracing one hand against the soft bed and bringing his head down to her breast. He flicked his tongue over her nipple while he stroked himself slowly. It was torture. And yet it was everything.
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He drew the swollen nub into his mouth and sucked, causing her to arch off the bed. Sparks shot through her as he flicked his tongue back and forth. Then he moved to the other breast and started the sensual routine all over again.
“You’re so hot, Shel. I could look at your body for days.” He kissed her all over, trailing his lips up and down, left and right. His fingers danced along her inner thigh, teasing her. Every so often he brushed against her sex so softly it was almost like she’d imagined it.
“Please,” she panted. “I’m ready. So ready.”
He shifted, positioning himself at her entrance. “I have been fantasising about this for years.”
“Me too,” she whispered. Even in her darkest moments, Nate came to her in her dreams. She’d never forgotten him.
As he pushed inside, her body softened, accepting him. She yielded to the weight of him pressing her into his bed. It was all consuming and it burned her from the inside out.
She felt beautiful in his arms. She felt at home.
“So soft,” he moaned against her neck, his hips moving back and forth in fluid strokes. “So tight.”
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled his face to her and kissed him with everything she had. With all her hopes and dreams and fears and desires. His lips probed hers, tongue delving into her mouth. Bodies fused together, they found a rhythm. His pelvis brushed hers with each stroke, fuelling the fire he’d begun with his hands not long ago.
Everything else melted away. The years evaporated as if nothing existed but right now. No past, no future. Just this.
“Nate, I’m close.” Shelby rocked her hips up to meet his, her body quaking again. “I need…I need…”
“I know.”
She let go and fisted the sheets, arching and shattering with him inside her. Her cries echoed off the walls of his room and a second later Nate followed, his face pressed hard against the side of her neck as he roared in release.
Chapter 10
By the time morning came around, Nate could no longer distinguish between dream and reality. Shelby had slept tucked against him, allowing his hands to roam the curve of her breasts, the softness of her belly, and the smoothness of her thighs through the night. Sleeping and waking over and over, they’d given in to the pull between them and made love again and again without questioning what was enough.
His insatiability terrified him.
In the thick haze of sleep, he smiled and reached out for her. But this time his hands found an empty and cold expanse of mattress. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and tried to push the fog of sleep away.
“Shel?”
Silence greeted him. Had she left without saying goodbye?
You know she’s going to leave. You never made any promises to each other.
But what if she didn’t leave? Or what if they made plans for her to come back? What they did make a promise to each other. Last night was more than sex. They had a connection. A real connection. And that connection had been there for years, even if life hadn’t given them a chance to fully nature it.
Sure, their situation wasn’t exactly perfect. She lived in New York and he lived in the place she hated most in the world. But Shelby had made comments about her disillusionment with her work, about her desire to do something more. Patterson’s Bluff could give her a life with more—a life with connection to her family, a chance to build new friends and lay the past to rest. A chance for her to strike out on her own.
He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood. The sound of a cupboard closing in the kitchen flooded him with relief—she was still here. They could talk this out. Figure out what came next. Because he couldn’t let her walk away without telling her how he really felt. Again.
Last night when he said he liked her, he’d only being giving her part of the truth. Like was far too bland a word for what he felt. Was it love? Quite possibly. Shelby had revived his thirst for life. She’d made him want more than the casual existence he’d been stuck in since his divorce.
She was it.
You do love her. You don’t pine after someone for more than a decade without reason.
Nate pulled on his jeans without bothering to locate his underwear, and wandered out to the kitchen, barefoot and bare-chested. Shelby stood at the counter, wearing her black dress from last night. She looked like a goddess against the simple backdrop of his kitchen. Light touched the subtle burning ember colours in the dark hair trailing all the way down her back, making it seem as though she glowed. A mug of coffee was cradled in her hands.
“I don’t function without my morning caffeine fix,” she said by way of explanation.
“Especially not after a night with barely any sleep.”
He moved to kiss her, but she stiffened up. Ice trickled through Nate’s veins, his intuition sounding the warning sirens. The easy touches they’d shared last night were long gone and in the harsh light of day he saw that fear still lingered in her eyes.
“I had a great time last night.” She smiled, but her lips were tight.
“Me, too.”
“I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.” She focused on the steam spiralling up from her mug, her luminous green eyes avoiding his. “But I’m not staying.”
“Okay,” he sounded the word out slowly, trying to buy time to think. To figure out how to convince her they had something special between them. Something worth fighting for. “When can I see you again?”
“I mean I’m not staying in Patterson’s Bluff.” She swallowed. “I’m flying home next week. Thursday.”
Home. The word struck him in the chest.
It was less than a week. Mere days. Blood rushed in his ears as he blinked, his brain scrambling for control. He hadn’t expected it to end so soon; he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t done with her. With them.
“Why so soon?”
“I have a job lined up. My agent called yesterday…it’s good money.” An easy excuse, and by the tone of her voice she was well aware of it.
What could he say to that? It was her job. Her career. Something she’d have to give up if she ever decided to come back to Patterson’s Bluff on a more permanent basis. Or else it would keep drawing her to the bright lights, far away from him. What about all the doubts she had? All the discontent?
Was this an excuse to put distance between them? Between her and the town?
Realisation rippled through him. She would have known about her imminent departure last night if her agent had called yesterday. Which meant she never had any intention of staying. Not even when she’d walked into his bedroom and given her body to him. Not when she’d lain in his arms this morning. Not while he’d started to believe the fantasy of them in his mind.
It was a one-time thing for her.
His head bobbed slowly. “Right.”
“You knew this would happen,” she said, her voice a whisper. “I never promised I would stay.”
Had she done this to pay him back for what happened all those years ago? To make him understand what it felt like to be rejected when he cared so damn much? The question spiralled around in his mind. Why hadn’t she told him she was leaving before they made love? Why hadn’t she given him a chance to make that decisions with all the information he needed?
You think you could have stopped things? It was inevitable.
“Why didn’t you tell me last night?” he asked.
“I didn’t think it was necessary.” A line formed between her eyebrows. “This isn’t my home anymore and I haven’t exactly kept my feelings to myself. I don’t know why this is a shock.”
“I thought you were going to focus on your business. It’s what you want…isn’t it?” He hated the way his voice sounded, so shredded and out of control. So ruined.
But that’s exactly what he was.
“I do want to focus on my business.”
“Then why are you leaving to take a job you don’t even want? Why are you leaving your father?” Immediate regret g
nawed at him for using her father to guilt her when he was too chicken shit to tell her how he felt.
But how could he open up when she was so close to walking out? To being another person to reject him for a more exciting life? He’d been here so many times. First with his mother, then his wife, then Neve.
This is exactly the time when you should tell her how you feel. Say it…I love you. I’ve always loved you.
The words silenced the noise in his head, spreading a deafening stillness through him. Love. It was something he never thought he’d experience again.
The memory of coming home to find his wife packing a suitcase on their bed shot through him like a bullet, ripping him to pieces. She hadn’t even told him she was leaving. If he hadn’t come home early from work, he would have found her note…a fucking note after all those years of loving her. Of trying to make her happy.
And now history would repeat itself.
“Dad’s fine.” Shelby frowned. “He’ll manage without me.”
“You’re right. He’s been on his own for a long time now.” He didn’t mean the words to sound bitter…but they did.
Shelby flinched. “You say it like I abandoned him.”
“I can only speak from my own experience.” Walls were shooting up around him, defence mechanisms roaring to life. Protecting him. Hiding him. Shielding his heart. “It’s no fun being the person left behind.”
“I didn’t leave him behind,” she retorted, her voice shaking. “I call, I visit…I keep offering to fly him to New York.”
“He doesn’t want to go to the other side of the world. He wants you home.” He had absolutely no right to vouch for Pete’s desires, but the words spilled out of him unrestrained. The warring emotions in his head shredding away what little filter he had to begin with.
It was a cowardly act to use his friend as a proxy for his own emotions, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.
“Don’t tell me what my family needs, Nate. I’m sorry your wife left you. I’m sorry your mother left you. I really am.” She shook her head, her clear eyes shimmering. “But I never promised you anything. You invited me over. You convinced me to stay the night.”
