by Zoe York
It was hard to argue that his theory was wrong, especially since this could be the very last time he saw Shelby Jenkins.
Chapter 8
If only she’d finished the day kissing Nate in his classroom instead of pushing her luck by going for food. Being out in public, she was bound to bump into someone she didn’t want to see…people who reminded her of all the things she’d rather forget.
But knowing that Nate had taken her somewhere out of the way so they’d avoid the crowd…well, that hurt. Sure, she understood his reason. He wanted to protect her. But how could he expect her to give this place a chance when he didn’t even trust people enough to bring her along to the pub for a drink? That should tell her everything.
Patterson’s Bluff hadn’t changed. There were still the haves and the have nots. The place was still ruled by gossip and whispers. And if Nate, who was one of the town’s biggest cheerleaders, didn’t trust his peers, then how the heck could she ever trust them?
A kiss wasn’t going to change how she felt. In fact, a kiss had been her undoing the first time, so why would it be different now? She turned down the road that would take her home.
No, it would take her to her dad’s house. It wasn’t her home anymore.
By the time she walked through the front door, she’d packed all her emotions down tight. There was no point upsetting her father—he had enough on his plate. And telling him her fears would only make him feel guilty for sending her to the working bee in his place.
“Is that you, Shel?” he called from the back.
“Sure is.”
She found him in his seat, his hands clutching a cup of tea. “How was the working bee?”
“Fun.” Not exactly a lie. Trouble hadn’t started until after that. “How are you feeling?”
He rolled his shoulder, testing the joint and wincing when he pushed too far. “This damn thing is taking too long to heal. I’m ready to be up and about and to have this bloody boot taken off.”
“You have to be patient, Dad. These things don’t get better overnight.”
The words struck her in the chest. All wounds, no matter whether physical or emotional, took their sweet time healing. She couldn’t exactly admonish her father when she, too, was frustrated by her pain.
And she’d taken it out on Nate, when he’d only been trying to do the right thing. Why couldn’t she let it go? So much time had passed and yet the emotions still felt as real to her as the day she’d experienced them. That was what got her walking out of The Chippery today. The fear that she might allow herself to fall for Nate again…
It was too risky. She wasn’t sure her heart would withstand his rejection a second time. Sure, she knew he was attracted to her…but where would it go? If he couldn’t even take her out in public because he was worried about what people might say, then that spelled the end before they’d even begun.
It had hurt to say that she didn’t think they should see each other again, because she wanted to see him so badly. But if she had any hope of being able to come home more often to visit her father, then she couldn’t decimate her heart with Nate.
“Thanks for sending me along today,” Shelby said. “It was nice to do something good with my time.”
“You always do something good with your time.” He reached out and grabbed her hand, his sun-worn skin dark against hers. “You came home to help me even when I said no.”
“You always say no.”
“But you came anyway because it was the right thing to do,” he replied. “Even if you spend your whole time hoping that nobody notices that you’re here.”
She turned to him and watched as his sharp green eyes surveyed the garden through the back window. He didn’t miss a trick, her dad, and no amount of false smiles or vague answers would change that.
“People do notice you, Shelby. You’re never going to escape that. So let it be for something good.”
Shelby let out a big sigh. Her dad was right, of course. Nate saw her for the good she did, and she saw the same in him. But she wasn’t sure that everybody else in this town would be able to get on the same page.
* * *
One week later…
Shelby threw herself headlong into work whenever she wasn’t helping her dad. She set up her laptop at the kitchen table and proceeded to tweak her website, fiddling with the design, working on new content and dealing with the PR contact of a local Melbourne wellness company who wanted to do business with her.
Her mind buzzed with ideas, her soul drenched in a sense of completeness that she never found on a shoot. Could she do it? Could she really give up her blossoming career for something fulfilling but uncertain?
Nate’s words swam in her head: what would you tell your students to do?
She frowned and closed the lid of her laptop, staring outside as the sun descended on the horizon. Hearing his voice wasn’t helpful. He’d tried to call a few times, but she’d ignored the calls. It wasn’t like she had anything to say.
Why are you really ignoring him? Because he didn’t take you to the pub? That’s bullshit and you know it.
Truth was, Nate made her question her future. He’d helped her when she asked, he’d gone out of his way to make her feel good about being at home…and that kiss.
She couldn’t get her mind off that kiss.
After giving herself time to think about why she’d walked away last week, Shelby had come to the conclusion part of it was frustration with herself. Because she was wary of the people here. She stayed away because she’d been hurt. When Nate took her to fish and chip shop instead of the pub, he was, in a way, honouring her fears. He was trying not to create any more wounds for her.
Which was exactly where her problems lie—she was the one who clung the past and, in doing so, allowed the past to continue hurting her.
Her phone vibrated and his name popped up as if her thoughts had conjured him from thin air. An invitation to dinner, at his place. A peace offering.
What would you tell your students to do?
Shelby chewed on her lip and stared at the phone, her fingers drumming against the kitchen table. She wanted to see him. Desperately. Her heart and body were onboard, but it was her brain—her logical side—telling her be careful.
She was leaving next week. Her agent had called her that morning about a job for a client they’d been chasing for years. They wanted to pay her more than she’d ever been paid before. It was a huge gig. A total win for the plus size modelling community.
And that meant something…didn’t it?
Even if modelling didn’t fulfil her the way she’d hoped it would, she was still promoting beauty at all sizes. She was still allowing women to see themselves reflected in magazines by representing a different body type than what was normally shown. She was still nurturing younger models and fighting against the idea that one had to starve in order to make it in the industry. That meant something…right?
Her dad was disappointed that she was heading home the following week, but he was proud of her accomplishments. This time she promised him that she would come back to visit. Sooner. Soon.
What if this was her last chance to see Nate?
Something about the finality of that question struck Shelby in the chest. In spite of their flawed history and Shelby’s feelings about Patterson’s Bluff, she had a special connection with Nate. It would never go anywhere—she could never come back permanently and he would never leave—but there was no denying that she felt something for him. More than attraction and lust, more than friendship.
You know this has to end.
One last night with Nate. It could be dinner or more…but it was time to say goodbye. Properly. Sucking in a breath, she grabbed the phone and typed her acceptance before her sensibilities could get in the way.
Chapter 9
Nate paced around his kitchen. Shelby would be here any minute and he wanted this dinner to be perfect. If tonight went off without a hitch, then maybe Shelby would be open to seeing him
again…and again and again. He couldn’t get enough of her.
It seemed impossible to hope for more, given their history. But he had to try. Regret wasn’t something he wanted to live with for another decade.
A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts and he forced himself to walk slowly, instead of running like he wanted to. “Hey.”
She’d piled her dark hair on top of her head in that messy, sexy way that looked perfect and undone. A long black dress drifted to the ground, the straps baring most of her shoulders. Freckles dusted her so lightly you’d only notice if you really looked. And boy was he looking.
“Hey,” she said, smiling with a shyness that almost split him in two.
He held the door for her. “Come in.”
Tension crackled in the air between them, an awkward mix of anticipation and excitement and…history. Shelby looked around, curiosity evident in her green eyes. But there was also a sense of trepidation about her. Good to know he wasn’t the only one about to jump out of his skin.
“Thanks for the invite,” she said. “It smells amazing in here.”
“My secret roast-vegetable mix.” He motioned for her to follow him through to the dining area. He was going to act relaxed and calm, even if it felt like his insides were doing the hula-hoop. “The trick is to put a little smoked paprika and cayenne over it before it goes in the oven.”
“It’s not much of a secret if you tell everyone so easily.” The edges of her eyes crinkled with amusement.
“I’ve never told another living person. Not even Neve.”
He picked up the tray containing their steaks along with the rest of his barbeque supplies and they headed out back. Nate wasn’t a brilliant cook by any means, but he’d stacked the deck by doing his old faithful dish.
They wandered out to his modest backyard. He certainly didn’t have the flashiest house in Patterson’s Bluff, but this little place was all his. After the divorce, he’d sold the grand, beach-facing property that’d left him mortgaged to the hilt, and moved into the cosy, two-bedroom, brick bungalow closer to the school. Over the years, he’d worked hard on the place—updating the fixtures and getting his hands dirty in the yard. Making the space his own.
And he hadn’t looked back. To him, a flashy house didn’t compare with the open air, a barbequed steak and conversation with a beautiful woman.
That was his idea of heaven.
“About the other day,” he began. “I—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She held up a hand. “It’s my baggage.”
He pulled the hood up on his barbeque and got the heat going. “I don’t want you to think I avoided taking you to the pub because I was embarrassed. That’s not how I felt at all.”
“I guess we’re ignoring the bit where I said I don’t want to talk about it.” She dropped into one of the wooden chairs that faced the garden and crossed her legs, one sandal dangling from her foot. He caught a glimpse of something shimmery at her ankle, a little line of gold that winked in the soft evening light.
“I need to clear the air, Shel. The last thing I want is something else hanging over me for another twelve years.” The steaks sizzled as they hit the grill. “I was trying to do the right thing.”
“I get that.” She watched him work, her eyes tracking his every movement in a way that made him want to abandon dinner altogether. “But I can handle myself, Nate. If someone had said something stupid, I would have stood up for myself. Hell, if I didn’t think I could do that then I wouldn’t have gone to the working bee in the first place.”
“I know that. You’re stronger than most people,” he said. “But I felt like...I had a duty to protect you.”
“That’s not your job.” She pushed up from her chair and wandered to the edge of the deck, her dress swirling around her feet.
“What if I want it to be my job?” The words slipped out before he could stop them and try as he might, they couldn’t be taken back.
He meant every word of it.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.
He swore under his breath, praying that he wasn’t going to lose her a second time. “I mean…I like you. I wouldn’t be averse to us spending more time together.”
“You wouldn’t be averse?” She let out a husky laugh.
“You see, I have to use the big words from my teacher’s binder on a regular basis otherwise I forget their definitions.” He laughed. He was so rusty and his “game” with women had never been that strong anyway, not like some of his mates. Nate was too straight-forward to have a bunch of lines at his disposal.
Shelby laughed. “You’re such a smartass.”
“And you’re leaving me hanging.” A lump had lodged in his throat. For better or worse he’d let his feelings be known. Either it was going to pay off, or he’d be eating two steaks by himself tonight. “I like you, Shelby. A lot. I…am I the only one feeling like there’s something special here?”
“No, you’re not. But…” Her brows furrowed and she shook her head. “It’s complicated.”
“Life’s complicated.”
“You got that right.” She wandered over to him and placed a hand on his arm. “I like you, too, Nate…against my better judgment, I might add.”
Well, it wasn’t a resounding yes but he’d take it. He put a palm to his chest in mock outrage. “You wound me.”
“How about you leave the terrible acting to the drama teachers?” She laughed and took a deep breath in. “Hmm, that smells so good.”
“You’re not going to leave me to eat this alone?”
“There’s not much that’ll come between me and a piece of red meat.” She grinned. “Not even you admitting you like me.”
With a satisfied belly and a full heart, Shelby sat on the deck beside Nate and watched the sun go down. The sky filtered from blazing orange to inky blue, night-time dropping down on them like a comforting blanket.
A cool breeze whispered across Shelby’s bare arms. The pinot had given her head a delicious fuzz around the edges. Nate’s house had a distant view of the Patterson’s Bluff Foreshore Reserve where the tops of the trees rose to touch the fading sunset. Stars broke through the sky, and she marvelled at how long it had been since she’d seen them.
“It’s so peaceful here, isn’t it?” Nate said as if reading her mind.
He leaned back in his chair, legs sprawled open in a pose that was unabashedly male. Averting her eyes and concentrating on her wine, she nodded.
“The fact that it gets so dark here is kind of novel.”
He frowned. “That makes me sad.”
“It’s nothing to be sad about, it’s just…different.”
Draining the remainder of his wine, he looked at her. “Do you miss the scenery?”
“I do,” she admitted.
Her limbs were heavy, and she feared that any longer in this chair—watching the magnificent view—and she might be tempted to cancel her flight home. Her head could only rule the roost for so long.
Shelby stood. “I’ll take the dishes inside, then I should probably head home.”
“The dishes can wait.” He put his wineglass on the little table next to him and held out his hand to her.
She took it, fully expecting to help him out of the chair. Instead, he tugged her down to him. The chair creaked as she landed in his lap. Shelby froze as ice ran through her veins. As a rule, she never sat in a guy’s lap…breaking a chair one time had been humiliation enough.
But his strong arms wrapped around her rigid body and she felt herself melting into him. How did he do that? How did he thaw her so easily? Nate smoothed his palms over her shoulders and brushed the hair from her face.
The gentle rub of his thumbs eased the rigidity out of her limbs and started a slow, throbbing ache between her thighs. The repetitive motion turned her bones to liquid. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that Nate Ritter knew how to use his hands.
The scent of wine on his breath mingled w
ith the crisp night air and a hint of cologne on his skin, intoxicating her. As much as she wanted out of that chair, she wanted his kiss even more. Her lips opened freely and when he closed the final space between them, a whisper of relief ran through her body. Hard met soft, the push and pull of their kiss made her body sing.
It was like coming home.
“Do you really need to go?” His mouth was at her neck, teeth and tongue and lips all pulling her down into the delicious haze of lust.
She pressed against him, the hard ridge of his erection digging into her thigh. Teeth scraped down her neck, sharp little nips mixed with hot kisses while he played her like an instrument.
“I should…”
But did she want to? Clearly not, since her body cried out at his touch.
His hand pushed the strap of her dress down her shoulder, exposing the pink lace of her bra. Hot breath hit her skin as he kissed the edge of the decorative strap, before pushing that down too. He hummed against her bare skin.
Yes, more.
“Should?” he asked. Nate’s voice was rough with desire, low and deep and rumbling in a way that stoked the excitement building inside her.
Her body pulsed with heat. It’d been too long since she allowed herself to be kissed, to be touched. To be loved. Could she let herself go there with Nate?
Yes.
The chair groaned under the weight of them both and Shelby shot out of Nate’s lap, tugging the straps back up her shoulder. She looked good in clothes, in the items she’d chosen specially to highlight her best features—her long legs, tanned arms, and full bust.
But sex meant getting naked…and that would mean total exposure. Nothing to hide behind—no retouching, no body makeup, no shapewear.
“Shelby.” He got out of his chair and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You can trust me, I promise.”
Bloody hell. She’d slept with her share of men and she hadn’t felt this vulnerable in a long time. And those guys were as hard-bodied and athletic as Nate. But it wasn’t his body that frightened her. Facing rejection from him a second time, now that was scary.
