A Brush of Wings

by Karen Kingsbury

  “I remember you!” The woman was the same one who had helped Mary Catherine six months ago. “How can I help?”

  Marcus didn’t hesitate. “I’d like shots. Everything I need for Uganda.”

  The woman smiled. “You’ll be visiting?”

  “Maybe.” He grinned. The woman clearly didn’t know he was a pitcher for the Dodgers. Which suited Marcus just fine.

  “All right.” The receptionist opened a door and found a clipboard with a few sheets of paperwork. “Have a seat in the waiting room and fill these out. I’ll call you back in a few minutes.”

  On the drive here Marcus had done the math. Even if they won the World Series again—which wasn’t likely—he could be in Africa soon enough. Six weeks tops—if God really wanted him to make the trip. Either way, Marcus would wait to be sure. He wouldn’t go to Uganda without absolute certainty that the trip was God’s idea. If this was the Lord’s plan, Marcus needed more than the voice he’d heard earlier.

  He needed a sign.

  MARY CATHERINE COULD sense Ember’s growing concern.

  When the kids were dismissed for lunch, Ember walked up and put her hand on Mary Catherine’s shoulder. “You need help.” Ember searched Mary Catherine’s eyes. “Did you ever email someone?” She hesitated, intently serious. “I’ve prayed about this. God told me you are very sick.”

  God had told her? Mary Catherine hung her head and did her best to hold back the tears. If You told her, Lord, then maybe it’s finally time for me to tell her. She lifted her eyes to Ember’s again. “Can we go talk somewhere?” She pressed her fingertips to her eyes and tried to stay strong. “I have something to tell you.”

  “Of course.” Ember didn’t look surprised. She followed Mary Catherine to a pair of chairs on the back porch of the orphanage. From their seats they could see the children playing a raucous game of tag.

  Never stop playing, she wanted to tell them. For a long while Mary Catherine simply watched the children. Finally she spoke to Ember in a way that allowed a new level of depth. “I did email my doctor.” She shook her head. “He never responded.”

  “What?” Ember sounded outraged. “That’s terrible.”

  “I know.” Her doctor should’ve seen the email and responded by now. He must not have read it. Which was strange, since he had asked her to stay in touch. Maybe talking to the doctor simply didn’t matter at this point. She sighed. “Getting medical help . . . it might not make a difference.”

  Ember shook her head, clearly confused. “A doctor could see what’s wrong. Maybe he would have you fly home so they could run tests.”

  Mary Catherine nodded, distracted. Lately she had experienced moments of peace like never before. A sense of deep contentment would come over her as if she and God were the only ones in the room.

  This was one of those times.

  After a minute, Mary Catherine turned again to Ember. “I know why I’m sick.” She paused, and the wheeze in her chest was loud enough for both of them to hear. “My heart is failing—something I was born with.”

  As soon as the words were out, Mary Catherine felt a weight lift from her. She should’ve told Ember a long time ago, but at least she’d done it now. Her honesty brought a rush of relief.

  Across from her, Ember’s eyes flashed with concern. “If your heart is failing, then you should definitely go home, right? So you can get help?”

  “That’s just it.” Mary Catherine could feel the peace in her eyes. “I need a heart transplant but that could take months.” She allowed a weak smile. “Ember, most heart patients die waiting.”

  Ember stood and folded her arms. She looked out at the play yard for a long time before turning again to Mary Catherine. “You have to go home if you’re going to receive a heart. Isn’t that true?”

  “My doctor told me it wouldn’t matter. Being home wouldn’t put me at the top of the list.”

  “But you’re sicker now. That could change things.” A sigh came from Ember. “Your doctor couldn’t possibly have wanted you here.”

  “No.” Mary Catherine hesitated. As long as she was being honest she might as well be up front with this, too. “He didn’t want me to leave.”

  Ember looked like she might cry. She returned to her seat and stared at Mary Catherine. “Don’t you want to live?”

  “Of course.” Fresh tears sprang to Mary Catherine’s eyes. She coughed a few times. “That’s why I’m here. If I didn’t come now, I might never have another chance.”

  A hot wind danced through the dusty grounds, and in the distance storm clouds gathered. Mary Catherine could feel the tension from her friend.

  Ember waited before speaking again. “I understand. I really do.” But her eyes said she wasn’t ready to give up. “But if you get home and get your transplant, you can come back whenever you want.”

  Ember was right, of course. “I guess I’m not much of a sidelines person.” She struggled to take a full breath. “I figured if I have six months to live, I’d rather spend them here. Where I always dreamed of living. Rather than waiting back home only to die without ever . . .” She looked out at the children again. “Without ever knowing this.”

  Ember looked at her. “I get that.” She reached for Mary Catherine’s hand and gave it a slight squeeze. “But write to your doctor again. Keep an open mind. Please.” She paused. “Your doctor might think of something new, another way to help you. I’m going to pray for that.”

  “Okay.” They stood and walked toward the lunchroom. Mary Catherine struggled beneath a blanket of exhaustion. “Thank you, Ember. For caring.”

  “What can I do? To help you breathe better?”

  Mary Catherine smiled. “Pray. God’s brought me this far.”

  Lunch was chicken and rice, and Mary Catherine was able to eat more than usual. Proof that she felt better having Ember know the truth. Less anxiety in her gut. After lunch she spent half an hour in her hut, resting on her bed and talking to God. Yes, He’d gotten her through to this point, and He would get her through as long as He wanted her here on Earth.

  And Mary Catherine had a sense that she wouldn’t be here long. Even so, she felt comforted by peace and contentment, an assurance that knew no boundaries. Her faith was not dependent on circumstances or illness or ever seeing Marcus again.

  It was anchored in Jesus. So why was she constantly avoiding telling her friends the truth about her heart? Mary Catherine knew the reason. She didn’t want the people she loved most trying to talk her out of being here.

  Mary Catherine put her hand to her chest and felt the beating of her heart. It still seemed strong, but she knew it wasn’t. Once a long time ago she had worked out with a trainer at the Santa Monica gym. He led her to a bench press and at first she had rattled off a quick ten reps. Then the trainer put more weight on either end of the bar. When she tried to lift it, the bar settled on her chest. She had choked and gasped for breath, making terrible sounds until the trainer rushed in to help her. The ordeal was terrifying.

  Which was how she felt constantly now.

  The wheezing, the pressure on her chest, it was part of the process. Her fear wouldn’t get the best of her, though. Mary Catherine reached for her Bible and opened it to Philippians, chapter 1. This was Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi. The Scripture that had brought Mary Catherine so much hope lately. In this book, Paul was near death and in prison. Yet he wasn’t afraid. He was filled with the same kind of peace that kept Mary Catherine company lately.

  She looked at verse twenty-one; the words Paul had written spoke to her very soul. For me to live is Christ, to die is gain. That was it, exactly how Mary Catherine felt. Yes, if her heart stopped beating soon she would miss Sami and Tyler and every wonderful moment she might’ve shared with Marcus. But here, her life was about Christ in a simpler, more pure way. Serving Him, relying on Him, making Him known to the children. Children who needed her. And if she died?

  Well, then, that would be gain.

  Mary Catherine cou
ldn’t see it any other way.

  16

  SAMI DIDN’T TURN ON THE TV at the Youth Center until the teen meeting was finished, just in time to watch the Dodgers miss a return to the World Series. The Dodgers and Reds had been tied, three games each. Marcus was pitching a shutout, but the Reds’ ace hitter caught the outside edge of a fastball and sent it over the fence for a walk-off home run.

  And that was that.

  Sami turned the TV off and gathered her things. She wasn’t glad for the loss, but it wasn’t the worst news. The team still had a successful season, and now she and Tyler could finalize their wedding plans.

  A few security guards and volunteers were still finishing up at the center, but most everyone had gone home. Sami was about to leave when she heard someone out in the hallway. She turned just as Aspyn walked into the room.

  “Sami! I caught you!” Aspyn was a local volunteer. She hadn’t been around as much lately. “One of the neighbors told me I could find you here.” She walked in and took one of the seats in the front row. “Can you talk?”

  “Umm.” Sami was supposed to talk with Tyler later. She checked the clock on the wall. “I have another meeting.” She didn’t want to seem uninterested. “I haven’t seen you in a while. What’s up?”

  Aspyn took a deep breath and shook her head. “So much. I’ve been helping with another ministry. But today, I had this feeling I needed to stop by. Maybe hear about the teen program. How’s it working out?”

  Sami wasn’t getting out of here anytime soon. She kept her phone in her hand in case Tyler called, took a seat near Aspyn, and gave her a quick rundown on the teen mentor program. “We don’t have Mary Catherine. She went to Africa.” Sami felt the familiar uneasiness, the anxiety that was worse every time she thought about her friend. Once again, Mary Catherine had responded to her last email, but without any of the answers she had asked for.

  Concern shone in Aspyn’s eyes. “I heard about that. I was hoping she’d stay here. There’s so much to do.”

  The conversation bounced from Mary Catherine to the teen mentor program to the progress the Youth Center had made. Tyler called midway through the talk, and Sami held up her phone. “Let me get this. Just for a minute.”

  Aspyn sat back. “Take your time.” Clearly she wasn’t going anywhere.

  Sami answered the call and told Tyler she was sorry about the loss. She’d call him back. Then she turned to Aspyn again. “Where was I?”

  “The teen program. How it’s working without Mary Catherine.”

  “Right.” Sami tried to sum up the work they’d been doing, and how her friends from UCLA were helping out. “As for the local girls, they’re making progress, definitely.”

  “Glad to hear it.” Aspyn looked thoughtful. “It’s still a battle, though.”

  Sami agreed, but she really wanted to get going. Wednesdays were her longest days, and she couldn’t wait to talk to Tyler. She stood and held her hand out to Aspyn. “I’m glad you came by. We’ve missed you around here.”

  “I’ve been around.” Aspyn remained seated. “Just busy. Speaking of which, one of the women said you’re engaged! I want to hear all about it!”

  There had to be a better time to catch up. Tyler would be wondering if everything was okay—especially this late at night. Sami was about to suggest she and Aspyn schedule a lunch date next week when she heard someone running down the hall. Sami turned just as Lexy appeared.

  “I . . . I thought I’d miss you!” The girl was shaking. Her eyes were wide and she held her arm close to her body. Like it was injured. She cast a suspicious look at Aspyn. “I need to talk. Just to you.”

  Aspyn didn’t need to be asked twice. She was already on her feet and headed for the door. “I was just leaving.” She waved at Sami. “We’ll catch up later.”

  Lexy entered the room and waited for Aspyn to go. When they were alone, the girl sank to the nearest chair. “I’m in trouble. I need Mary Catherine!” Lexy started to cry. “Please, help me. I’m so afraid.”

  “Mary Catherine is in Uganda.” Sami sat down. Tyler would understand if she was late. “Lexy, what happened, honey? Tell me everything.”

  “I . . . I wasn’t going to come. I need Mary Catherine.” She covered her face with her good hand and wept for a full minute. Then she seemed to gather some sort of desperate strength. She held her arm. Her attention remained focused on the ground. “I told God I’d try one time. Just once.” She sniffed. “I’d come here and if I couldn’t find Mary Catherine . . . or . . . or someone who would listen, then I’d never believe in Him again.”

  Sami thought about Aspyn’s visit. If she hadn’t stopped by, Sami would’ve been gone. “Well, I’m here.” Sami silently thanked God. “What happened to your arm?”

  “I think it’s broken.” Her words came in fits and starts, tangled up with the sobs wracking her small frame. “Ramon . . . my boyfriend . . . he beat me up.”

  Sami hid her anger. “What happened?”

  Still Lexy wouldn’t make eye contact. But after a while she lifted her head and looked straight at Sami. “I’m pregnant.”

  Sami felt herself reeling. Lexy was just seventeen. Sami stood and took the seat closest to the girl. Without saying a word, Sami put her arm around Lexy’s shoulders. Sami had no idea how long they stayed like that. Five minutes, maybe more. Until Lexy stopped sobbing and was able to really talk.

  “It’s my fault, I know it.” Lexy hung her head. Her eyes were swollen, her nose stuffy. She looked like a lost child.

  “Is Ramon mad about the baby?” Sami was still trying to get her mind around the crushing reality. “Is that why he hurt you?”

  “Yes.” Lexy sniffed again. “He said I should’ve used something. He was mad so he twisted my arm.”

  “Lexy . . .” Sami clenched her jaw. Ramon should be locked up for this. “I’m so sorry. Can you move it?”

  Lexy shrugged. “Not really.” She took a slow breath and told Sami a story she couldn’t begin to grasp. How six weeks ago—after Ramon had claimed her as his girl—he had taken her to a hotel room to celebrate a drug deal.

  “I found out yesterday that I was pregnant. And . . . Ramon told me it was my fault. I should’ve been on the pill. That sort of thing.” Fresh tears glistened in Lexy’s eyes. “I’m having an abortion tomorrow. I already called the clinic.”

  Sami wasn’t sure where to begin. God, please give me the words. If Lexy went back onto the streets tonight, Sami might never see her again. “I have an idea.”

  “Don’t try to talk me out of it.” Lexy’s eyes flashed, dark and full of despair. “I can’t have a baby. I just can’t.”

  “Let’s go have your arm looked at. You can stay with me at my apartment tonight. Call your grandma and see if that’s okay.”

  The idea seemed to make Lexy nervous. “Ramon told me not to tell anyone.” She touched her damaged arm. “About this. Otherwise . . . he’ll kill me. He said so.”

  “Either way your arm needs to be checked. In case it’s broken.”

  Lexy nodded, her expression distant. “Yeah. Okay.” Alarm sounded in her voice. “But don’t mention Ramon. Not at all.”

  They stopped at an urgent care in Santa Monica, closer to Sami’s apartment. Forty minutes later, they had the X-ray results. Thankfully, the girl’s arm was only sprained, not broken.

  While the doctor was working on Lexy, Sami excused herself and found the nurse. In hushed tones she explained that Lexy’s boyfriend had beaten her up. Sami gave the woman Ramon’s name and his gang affiliation. The woman looked as angry as Sami felt. “I’ll get this to the police.”

  Sami couldn’t worry about whether the report would make Ramon angry. If she needed to, she would keep Lexy with her until the danger passed. Sami paid the bill. Lexy didn’t have insurance and her grandmother had no money. Not that she would ever tell her grandmother the truth about her injury.

  Half an hour later they were at Sami’s apartment. Lexy’s grandma had said she could stay a
s long as she wanted. Anything to get her away from the West Knights. And Sami called Tyler to explain the situation. They both agreed to postpone their conversation until after tonight. So Sami could talk to Lexy privately. Sami heated up chicken and broccoli for the two of them, and after they ate Sami found her laptop.

  She’d been praying all night about how she should approach the subject, and only one answer came to mind: with love.

  “Come here, Lexy. I want to show you something.” Sami patted the seat next to her on the sofa. She pulled up an adoption website, then she angled herself so Lexy could see. “Let’s talk about your baby. There are couples everywhere who can’t have children, so—”

  “No! I’m getting the abortion.” Defiance darkened Lexy’s eyes. “The clinic said it was tissue.”

  Sami closed the adoption website. A sick feeling welled up in her. The recent news about Planned Parenthood disgusted her on every level. Now this statement by someone at the clinic. Sami steadied herself. “Would you look at some pictures?”

  Lexy’s curiosity must’ve gotten the better of her. She acted uninterested, but she gave a slight shrug of her good shoulder. “Of what?”

  Sami closed the adoption website and pulled up photos of unborn babies at various stages of gestation. “Have you looked at pictures of babies before they’re born? Like in health class?”

  A sad chuckle came from the girl. “They teach us how to use a condom. But Ramon doesn’t like them. So I guess that was a waste.”

  Another level of heartache. How were these kids supposed to find their way out of the cycle of gangs and kids having kids if the only sex education they were taught was proper use of a condom? She was thankful for one of her friends who taught health at a private school in LA. There, she had the right to teach abstinence to the teens.