Blaze: Devil's Nightmare MC: Book 11

by Lena Bourne

  Blaze: Devil’s Nightmare MC

  Lena Bourne

  Prologue

  Misti

  All my life, there were so many things I couldn’t do. So many things I never even dreamed of doing, because I was always told I never could. So many things I didn’t know I wanted, needed, desired. Couldn’t live without.

  Things he showed me. Things only he could give me.

  Blaze.

  As fiery as his name suggests, as gentle as a soft summer breeze. Mine forever.

  Forever lasted less than a year.

  I used to be the one everyone thought would die young.

  I never knew how that felt for others. How excruciatingly painful it was for those who loved me.

  Until now.

  The line of his heartbeat is erratic, full of peaks not high enough and valleys too low. It’s how my heart line used to look on the monitors I spent half my life attached to before they finally mended my heart. Mended, not fixed. Blaze did that.

  But now, it is his heartbeat that does not rise and fall as it should.

  I got my life back.

  I got my life for the first time since I was born.

  But that erratic, failing line on the monitor might as well be mine.

  Once it goes flat, it will take me with it.

  Together forever.

  I was not born to live long.

  I was not born to love long.

  But I did.

  I loved him with all of my faulty heart.

  I never imagined I’d survive him.

  And I won’t.

  1

  Ten Months Ago

  Misti

  I’ve spent so much time in hospital rooms and doctor’s offices growing up they’re like a second home to me. My comfort zone, you could say. I don’t know who I am if not a patient. If not a girl with so many congenital heart problems, she should already be dead for years.

  Sunlight, soft and diffuse, is streaming in through the pull-up blinds covering the large windows of this ground-level office at the hospital in which I have spent almost half of my short life. The blinds are opaque, but still translucent enough so I can see the cars in the parking lot just outside, the afternoon sun glaring off their windshields and metallic paint. It’s sweltering hot out there, but nice and cool in here, with a gentle breeze from the AC unit mounted over the window stirring the hair on my bare arms.

  My heart isn’t fluttering the way it always has, nor skipping beats or dropping out of rhythm. Now my heart rate is firm and steady and the breaths I take seem to be bringing oxygen into all the parts of my body where it’s needed.

  It’s been that way for weeks now and keeps getting better.

  But it doesn’t erase the years and years of never being able to trust my heart to work. Not even from one beat to the next. It doesn’t erase the fear that it will stop any moment now. It’s this new steady heartbeat I don’t trust. That’s what scares me now.

  “You look worried,” Doctor Jay says. “Is something wrong?”

  He’s an attractive man in his early fifties, a wave of wheat blond hair lazily draped over his forehead, twinkling blue eyes, and permanent smile wrinkles around his eyes.

  I smile at him, hoping it’ll fool him into not seeing the fear. This man came up with the revolutionary surgical technique that saved my life and gave me a future.

  “I’m still getting used to my new heartbeat,” I say.

  He chuckles. “New heartbeat? That’s a great way of putting it.”

  “It’s the best way I can describe it,” I say. “I didn’t have much of a heartbeat before. But I do now and that means I can finally start living. I’m going partying in Vegas tonight for the first time in my life, and I lived right outside it the entire time.”

  His eyes glaze over to the point where I’m expecting to see tears well up in them.

  “Just don’t overdo it, Misti,” he says, and leaves the rest unsaid.

  I may be cured in terms of how sick I was before the operation he performed on my aortic and mitral valves. But in terms of having a healthy heart… well, that will never truly happen for me. I’ve lived with the knowledge my entire life and have long since accepted it.

  This level of healthy is already almost too much for me.

  “But you just gave me the all-clear,” I say in a mock petulant voice and chuckle right after.

  He smiles too. “Yes, yes. Your next check-up is in six months.”

  I stand up and offer him my hand across his shiny white desk. “I’ll see you in six months then,” I say and he nods, smiles, and shakes my hand.

  A knot formed in my throat as the words came out, and it’s still there when I reach the hospital exit.

  The heat outside grips me in its tight, suffocating fist. Used to be, I couldn’t go outside on days like this. The dry desert air of Vegas is good for every other aspect of my condition, but the high summer heat is murder.

  Not anymore.

  I’m barely winded as I walk across the parking lot to where my sister Stormi and her new man Ace are waiting for me.

  Now, I can finally dream about feeling that same love and happiness I see in her eyes every time she looks at him. Hopefully, I’ll know how to.

  Love and family were never in the cards for me. Not until now. And the adjustment to this new reality is proving a mountain. One of those tall, snow-covered monster mountains few have ever crossed.

  But I don’t have to brood anymore.

  Now I can just live.

  I’ll learn how to.

  Why wouldn’t I? Everyone else has.

  Blaze

  The day’s crazy heat still hasn’t let up completely, it’s still wafting off the asphalt and making sweat run down my back. But the evening breeze coming in from the redwood forest surrounding the town of Pleasantville is promising a cool night to come. My bike doesn’t need any work, but I’ve been working on it since getting up at midday regardless, tightening things that don’t need tightening, checking the oil and brake fluid, polishing the chrome so it’s clearer than a mirror.

  Few of the brothers bother me with idle chitchat when I work on my bike in the dusty yard in front of the MC clubhouse that’s been my home for almost two years now. Two years I’ll never get back, but I try not to think about that. Not so easy lately, but I try.

  The Devil’s Nightmare MC clubhouse was built about a decade ago. It’s a big, comfortable, modern structure, with plenty of space for sleeping and partying. I haven’t been doing much of either lately. The building is casting a nice long shadow over the back yard where me and a couple of other guys are tinkering with our bikes, the sound of metal against metal and huffs and puffs the only thing breaking the thick afternoon stillness.

  When I first joined the MC, I was content here. Now I’m not so sure anymore. Too much death all around. Not enough peace.

  “Blaze! There you are,” Colt yells from the other side of the lot, striding towards me.

  “Come on, we gotta go,” he adds once he reaches me.

  I don’t stop wiping down the rear mudguard as I look up at him. “Go where?”

  “Vegas, man,” he says in that exasperated voice he always uses when I forget about something that means a lot to him. And by always I mean exactly that. I’ve known Colt since I can remember. We’ve been best friends for that long too. More like brothers than actual blood brothers. It’s just that since he met Brenda a couple of months ago, he hasn’t had the kind of time for me he used to have. I’m trying not to mind. But I notice.

  “We’re meeting up with Buddy and Slate from back home,” he says. “Did you forget?”

  I did forget. But I also didn’t particularly want to g
o meet them in the first place. For me, back home is a place that no longer exists. No news from it is the best news, as far as I’m concerned. Me and Colt had a long conversation about this when our two old friends announced their visit, so I have no idea why he’s pestering me to go now.

  “You go and have fun,” I tell him, since I don’t want a repeat of that annoyingly painful conversation. “I’ll stay right here.”

  I spent most of last night drinking by myself and the last thing I need is a long ride through the desert.

  “A couple of cold beers and an early night are in the cards for me tonight, and that’s about it,” I add, using the shine rag to wipe my hands even though they don’t need it.

  “No, they aren’t,” he says with that grin that says he knows something I don’t, but want to.

  “I mean it, Colt,” I say and start walking towards the bar. “I’m not going.”

  “Stormi’s sister will also be there,” he says to my back. “You know, the one you couldn’t take your eyes off when you first saw her. She’s coming out with us tonight.”

  I stop dead in my tracks but don’t turn. He still remembers that? He asked me a shitload of questions after it happened, wouldn’t take the hint that I don’t want to discuss it. But that was months ago.

  I didn’t want to talk about it because I have no idea why she struck me as she did.

  But if I close my eyes and think back, I still see her perfectly. Her porcelain skin and nearly white hair. Her soft, serene little smile. Her lithe body, so delicate yet firm. She shone like moonlight.

  The White Lady. I dream of her sometimes. Just as my grandma did. She told us all about this dream often. Because when the White Lady appears among us, our family will finally have peace.

  And tonight’s the night I’ll find out if Misti is that lady. I have to admit that the longer I’ve been away from my family and my grandma, the less stock I put in signs and omens and such. They don’t make as much sense out here in the real world as they did behind the wall where my family lives. But the White Lady. She can’t be ignored.

  I turn and grin at Colt. “What time are we leaving?”

  He grins back. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  I’ve been ready for months, but I didn’t know it until just now.

  2

  Misti

  The night is alive with the sounds of cars honking, men and women whooping, talking, even singing, and music blaring. We’re in the middle of the slow-moving snake of cars cruising down The Strip and the energy given off by all the bright lights, loud sounds, and all these thousands of people here just to party are making the air hum and buzz. It’s also making my heart flutter, the steady beat not as rock-solid as it’s been these last few weeks. But that’s just from the excitement of being here.

  I dreamed about partying in Vegas since I learned that’s what people came here to do and especially since Stormi started going. But as with so much else, I gave up on ever taking part in this kind of life, I gave up that dream too. I hardly left the house when I was a child and teen, and was homeschooled by our neighbor along with her children. Even walking up and down the stairs at our house was too much for me on some days. Now Doctor Jay says even running might be possible for me, if I let my body heal fully and don’t overdo it. Running! I want to try now. I want to try it all now!

  I roll down my window, stick my head out, and yell at the brightly lit night. A couple of guys walking on the sidewalk whoop back and wave.

  Stormi is giving me a concerned look as I sit back in my seat. “Doctor Jay said you still need to take it easy, Misti. He asked me to make sure of it.”

  She’s been saying the same thing all day, especially while I was getting ready. I must’ve tried on at least fifty different dresses and shoes and it did leave me very tired for a while, I will admit. But I’m rested and ready to go now.

  “Don’t worry so much, please,” I tell her and smile at her. “This is so exciting.”

  “She’s just like you,” Ace says, grinning at me in the rearview mirror. “A party-animal.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” Stormi says.

  If it wasn’t for Stormi and the sacrifices she made, I wouldn’t be here in this car, enjoying myself, finally getting a taste of what life is supposed to be like. I will never forget that. I will always be grateful. But I do hope she’ll ease up on worrying about me eventually.

  “Come on, Stormi,” Ace says, squeezing her thigh. “Let her enjoy herself tonight.”

  He winks at the grateful smile I give him via the rearview mirror.

  “I guess,” Stormi mutters.

  “Besides, we’re here,” Ace says and makes a left off the road and into the parking lot of a casino with a huge fountain in front of it. Water is spraying up in ways I didn’t know water could be trained to do, all of it awash in bright pink, blue, yellow, white, and green lights.

  The dress I finally chose is black and gold with a loose cowl neck that just barely covers the scars around my heart from the many surgeries I’ve had done over the years. It’s one of Stormi’s old dresses, and it barely covers her curvy hips, the length is much more modest on me. I’ve paired it with very high, patent leather stiletto heels that are also Stormi’s and after taking less than three steps from the car towards the entrance of the casino, I wish I’d listened to Stormi and gone with flats. But then we reach the red carpet trimmed with golden thread leading into the casino, I forget all that.

  Two impeccably dressed doormen are standing one on each side of the wide door leading into the building, fancy cars, bringing even fancier men and women cruise by the entrance to be taken away by valets, and everything sparkles in shades of gold. It’s all exactly like I’ve seen it on TV and in movies, only so much more spectacular I’m having trouble taking it all in. We enter the gleaming gold and white marble lobby, surrounded by men and women, all dressed to the nines, walking alongside us, laughing, holding hands, kissing. It’s easy to forget everything else and just imagine this is my life now. Because I don’t have to imagine anymore. This is my life now.

  The lobby is bigger than any room I’ve ever been in and real trees are planted in huge porcelain planters all across it. The ceiling must be fifty yards up, and the space is taken up by huge butterflies, the rhinestones in their intricately painted wings glimmering in all colors of the rainbow. I could just stare at them for hours and not get bored. White wooden benches are lining the central walkway, making the illusion of being in a magical garden even more real.

  “Come on,” Stormi says, laughing as she laces her arm under mine. “Don’t you want to gamble a little?”

  I tear my eyes away from the butterflies and grin at her. “And dance. That’s why we’re here.”

  A shadow of concern passes over her face, but her smile doesn’t falter for which I’m glad. Years of me being well will have to pass before my sister stops worrying about me, just as it took years to train her to constantly be concerned about me.

  “Let’s have some dinner first,” Ace says, and leads the way into the restaurant.

  It’s a room even bigger than the lobby and done up in black velvet and gold. The gilded table legs gleam so brightly, it’s like they’re made of real gold and the black velvet chairs look fit for a queen to sit in.

  “This is the life, right?” I ask, grinning at both Ace and Stormi as I try to soak everything in even though there’s much too much of it.

  “I prefer places a lot more low-key,” Ace says, chuckling. “But since this is your first time in Vegas…”

  “Not the last though,” I assure him as a hostess with very long legs and even longer platinum blonde hair comes to escort us to a table.

  “Oh, no,” Ace says jokingly. “I hope we haven’t created a party monster.”

  “Don’t encourage her,” Stormi tells him. “I prefer low-key places too.”

  They share a look that’s so full of love and devotion it twists my stomach. My sister is happy, I am happy and
healthy and all is well with the world. And before long, I might even know love like the kind she finally found with Ace. I hope.

  An hour on the slots and half an hour by the roulette table and all my money was gone.

  But it was just like the movies. Except for the winning streak part. Mine didn’t last for more than two spins of the roulette wheel. I bet on twenty-seven red, to signify the start of my life. Twenty-seven because that’s how old I am, and red for life. Then ninety red because I want my life to be a long one. All the hits kept coming back as black this, and black that. I’m not taking that as any kind of sign of anything. Black doesn’t have to mean death.

  Ace kept giving me quarters when I started running out at the slots. He did it behind Stormi’s back since she’s against taking his money and warned me not to take any before we left the house.

  It’s almost midnight now and we’re finally leaving the casino. I have to admit I feel a little like Cinderella being forced to leave the ball early, but I’m out of money so there’s that. The Strip is still alive with people coming and going and stopping, taking pictures, singing, laughing, having fun. I want to stay longer, stay here all night. Have the famous $1 breakfast Ace told me about. The breakfast for people who have lost all they had at the casinos during the night. I imagine those people wouldn’t be too hungry come the morning, but who knows.

  “Let’s stop off at The Lounge before heading home. Brenda will be there,” Ace suggests as he’s preceding Stormi and me to the car, even his shortest stride much too long for me to keep up.

  “I think this has been enough excitement for one night, don’t you?” Stormi says, the question directed at me and almost pleading.

  “I feel fine,” I assure her and it’s mostly true. As soon as I have a couple of minutes of downtime in the car I’m sure my heart rate will go back down to the steady beat that’s my new normal.