by Sally Henson
“If you would’ve told me instead of hearing it from my dad…” My eyes begin to sting, and I squeeze them shut for a few seconds, hoping it goes away. He swipes at his cheeks, and the stinging in my eyes returns.
I have one more question. “Did you lie about wanting to be closer to me?”
He lets out a soft chuckle. “I’m a nineteen-year-old guy. I think about it a lot.”
“I’m serious. Was that all a way to get me to forget about Eckerd?”
Lane reclines, pulling me backward too. I don’t want to be like this with him, but he keeps his distance. He props his head in his hand. “I was shocked at first.” He licks his lips and continues, “You have no idea how tough it was to not let things keep…progressing. I wanted to feel you, your body, but I didn’t want you to regret it. Everything needed to be perfect. Having that crap with your dad between us was not even close to perfect.”
I can’t even look at him. I grit my teeth and move my gaze to the pine trees off in the distance, watching them slowly sway in the light breeze. Even when Lane was doing the wrong thing, he did the right thing. “Thank you. For waiting.”
A touch as light as a feather glides down my finger. I look down and see Lane tracing back and forth with his fingertip.
“Now you know everything,” he says. “There’s nothing between us. I don’t want to lose you—us.”
“It might be too late for that.”
His hand moves to trace the back of his finger down my jaw.
It makes me shiver.
“Do you still love me?” he asks in a whisper.
I make the mistake of looking into his beautiful pleading eyes. The intensity of his question and gaze draws the truth out of me. I nod.
His expression softens. “Thank God.” He slides his fingers behind my head and pulls me into his kiss. His lips are soft, warm, and familiar, and I want to stay exactly where I am, but I can’t.
I pull away and touch my lips as I sit up. Kissing him still triggers the butterflies. “We can’t do this.”
He sits up too, leaning his weight on the hand he placed behind me. “Why not?”
“You’re leaving soon and it’s going to take more than one conversation to make things right.”
His jaw sets in that determined way where he almost always gets what he wants. “Then I’ll stay. We’ll work things out.”
“I already asked you to stay and you wouldn’t do it. Remember?”
He reaches into his pocket and presents me with two identical rings with interlocking infinity symbols.
I stare at its simple beauty. “What’s this?”
“Promise rings. I promise myself to you. That I love you.”
“You can’t." I shake my head. “We can’t.”
His eyebrows pull into a V. “What do you want me to do? I’ll do anything.”
“I’m sorry.” I let out a heavy breath. “I can’t blame you for everything. It’s my fault too. I put too much on you. You were basically the only family I had for months. I’m sure it wasn’t easy dealing with me and my dad.” I shake my head. “I’m a mess. I need to figure out how not to be a mess.”
He lifts his gaze to mine. His eyes brim with tears. A few drops trail down his cheek. “Because of me.”
I brush the tear with my thumb, shaking my head as my own tears fall. “Go to Florida. Let Mr. West make you a star.”
He presses his forehead to mine. “And when I get back?”
It kills me to say this because after we fell in love, I never thought there would ever be a time we would not be more than best friends. “I don’t know.”
48
REGAN
Lincoln tosses his bag in the back seat of his rental car. “I heard a new cell tower’s supposed to go up this summer. No excuses for not responding to my messages.” He shoots me a look.
I nod. Having signal at home would be great.
Mom lines up for her hug. “I love you.”
“I love you, Momma.” He squeezes her and moves to Dad.
“Thank you.” Dad chokes back his tears. “I’m really proud of you.”
Linc nods and leans in, patting him on the back. “Love you, Dad.”
I take my turn wrapping my arms around my brother. “Thanks for everything.”
He takes a step back and musses my hair before sliding in the driver’s seat. “I’ll let you know when I make it back to base.”
He backs out of the parking spot and eases the car forward. The further he rolls down the drive, the emptier this place feels. I was getting used to having him around.
Instead of making a left toward Stelmo, he turns in the opposite direction. I’ve got a sneaky suspicion he left extra early so that he could say goodbye to a certain redhead.
The gang, minus Haylee, is meeting at the cliffs for our first swim of the summer. I head inside to dig out my swimsuit. It’s a little early, but what else am I going to do?
While I’m digging around, I decide it’s time to put my marine science posters back up. They were tossed in the back of my closet under my shoe boxes.
As I search for tape in the kitchen, the phone rings.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hey. It’s Lane.”
“Hey.” I hurry back to my bedroom. I may be living in the same house with my dad, but that’s about it. I’m not ready to let him in on my life.
“Is Linc gone?” he asks.
I close my door and take a seat on my bed. “Yeah.”
“Would you meet me at the cliffs a little early?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess. Everything okay?” We’ve spent some time together since we met up at Lake Nellie. It’s been hard. I still love him. I can’t imagine not loving him. But we both need to decide what we want.
“Yeah. Just want to hang out.”
I’d like to hang out too, before the gang gets there. “Okay. When?”
“Fifteen minutes?”
I smile. That means I don’t have to sit around here, waiting for time to tick by. “See you then.”
“See you then.”
I change and gather everything I’ll need. Mom and Dad are in the living room. Dad’s lying on the sofa, reading. He’s still weak. “I’m going to the cliffs.”
Dad asks, “Will Lane be there?”
As if I’m answering that. He’s lucky I even let them know where I’m going. “I’ll take the Ranger,” I call over my shoulder and grab the key from the hook. The screen door clatters closed, and I practically skip down the steps to the shed where the Ranger is waiting for me.
By the time I make it to my normal parking spot across from the cliffs, Lane’s already there. We’re getting our best friends vibe back, and that makes the hole in my heart a little smaller.
The residue of dirt from the drive covers my lips. I grab my towel and run it over my face and mouth as I walk toward the water. “Hey.”
Lane twists from his perch on the tailgate, giving me a smile. The mirrored sunglasses he’s wearing hide his crystalline blue eyes. “Hey, sunshine.”
I already have a smile on my face, but it widens even more. I glance down as I round the back of the truck. “Dr. Love,” I shoot back the nickname I gave him last semester.
A chuckle rolls out of him. He pats the quilt-covered tailgate. “How’s it going?”
My shoulders relax. After what’s happened between us, he somehow still feels like home. I hop up on the quilt. “It’s okay. Linc left.”
I motion to his clothes. He doesn’t look like he’s dressed for hanging out here all day. “What’s the deal? You’re not swimming?”
Lane shakes his head, turning his gaze toward the water. “Cam’s been an ass, and I’m not up for his crap today.”
I drop my gaze to the patches of grass below my feet. “I’m sorry.” Cam’s looking out for me, I get it, but I’ve forgiven Lane. He needs to do the same.
“It’s okay. I deserve it.”
“Are you packed and ready to go? I bet you’re getting excited.�
� I turn to watch his expression.
His grin comes back. “Yeah. I’m actually meeting Ross in a few hours. I don’t know why we can’t wait until tomorrow morning, but I’m not running the show.”
My stomach hardens, and my fingers grip the edge of the tailgate. It’s too early. I’m not ready to let him go yet. “I thought you weren’t leaving until next week?”
49
LANE
Judging by her rigid posture, she’s not ready to boot me out of here. “Braden wants me down there a week earlier.” I cover her hand with mine. “Ask me to stay.”
I’ll do it. Stay here with her for the summer. But only if she wants me.
She shakes her head. “We’ve already talked about this. You’re going to pursue music. I’m going to see if marine science is for me.”
My throat bobs with a hard swallow. This is so freaking hard. I wet my lips and lean closer, pressing my mouth to her cheek in a short, sweet kiss.
When I pull back, the promise rings slip out of my shirt, dangling from a leather chord necklace. I decided to wear them until she was ready for it.
She chews on her lip, staring at them.
I start to tuck the rings back under my shirt, but leave it out. Maybe she’ll change her mind about wearing it. “I don’t know what to expect. What I’ll be doing, when, all that. Do you think you’ll have cell service?”
She nods. “I was going to talk to you about that. Since we’re not, you know…” She clasps her fingers together and fidgets. “Going out, I should give you the phone back.”
That’s not going to happen. “No. It was a gift. You can’t give it back.”
“I just don’t feel right keeping it. Lincoln said I could get on his plan.”
“Don’t.” I shift so close, our hips join together. That came out harsh and I didn’t mean for it to. I soften my voice. “If you think you have to, pay my mom while I’m gone.”
My gut says it’s no big deal, but I’m not sure what she’s thinking. She nods, swinging her dangling feet. “Okay.”
“I’m going to miss this.” When I convinced Regan to wait for summer for us to become closer, I was coming up with plans. If Mr. West hadn’t called, I’d be here to make those dreams come true. And then she’d be mine forever.
She bumps her arm against mine. “You’ll have lots of bikini distractions.” She tries to smile, but it’s more of a grimace.
I think about the little box hidden under my bed. “I bought you a red bikini for Christmas.” A barely there bikini. I knew she would never wear it, but I was going to do my best this summer to get her to wear it for my eyes only.
Pink shades her cheeks, and she ducks her head, pulling a thread on her cut-off jean shorts.
Last semester, when I told her I was going to get her one, she blushed just like this. “I’m glad I didn’t give it to you.” Not that she would wear it, but Cam doesn’t need any more reason to gawk at her. I can’t even trust Tobi to keep anything from happening with him. She’s still ticked at me.
I check the time on my phone. The tightness in my chest comes back. It loosened when she agreed to come here a little early. And when she walked up, it all but disappeared. But now it’s time disappearing.
“Let’s make some memories.” I tap the camera app and hold out the phone to take our photo.
Regan leans in, pressing her cheek to mine. I take so many. As many as she’ll let me.
The vice torquing on my chest won’t let up. Something claws at my heart and I can’t help but think whatever happens here will change our lives forever. And I’m desperate to be her forever. As we look through the pictures, I finally work up the courage to ask, “When I get back, can we start all over? Do things right.”
REGAN
“I don’t know.” A lot can happen between now and then. And since most of the clubs he’ll play will be on the beach, bikini-clad girls will literally be everywhere. But more than what could happen is the giant secret he kept from me all these months. “I still wonder if what we had was even real.”
“How I felt about you was real. I thought I could handle your dad, but look at us now. If we could start over—”
I shake my head. “I can’t pretend it never happened.” That came out harsh. Not what I intended.
The corners of his mouth tug down. “I’m not trying to start a fight. I just…hate that I ruined everything and wish I could make it right. I miss you already.”
“Me too.” All of it. A person can’t walk away from seventeen years of building a relationship without missing it.
His hand slides across my back, gripping my waist. I shouldn’t let him do it, but it feels nice.
He whispers, “I should go. Before you hate me more.” A tear slips down his cheek from under his sunglasses.
My bruised heart squeezes. It’s hard to see him torn up like this. Yeah, I want to hold on to what we had too, but it will never be the same.
I slip off my shades and then remove his. I want to see his eyes—lose myself in them one last time.
He squints from the bright sunlight.
“You’re going to blow Mr. West away.”
He does that thing where he locks on to my gaze and won’t let go. “Kiss me, already,” he requests in a low, raspy voice.
I shouldn’t. I don’t want to give him the wrong idea, but my mouth inches closer. “We aren’t together like that,” I whisper across his lips. “We’re not more than friends anymore.”
“Regan.” He nuzzles my nose with his. “We’ll always be more than friends.”
I huff out a breath.
“It’s true,” he says.
The thought of not seeing him all summer, maybe never kissing him ever again, has me closing the gap between us.
Never is a long time.
I slide my hands up his chest and around his shoulders.
Lane tugs me closer.
I let him, encouraging him to lie back. Our kiss is slow and deep and has butterflies dancing from my head to my toes. Even though this is goodbye, I’m not sorry I broke the rules.
After I don’t know how long, he gently separates us, our chests heaving together. Why can’t I keep my hands and lips to myself?
“Come with me. Let’s go pack your bag. Right now.” He presses his lips near the delicate skin below my ear. “You can stay with me or I’ll take you to Lincoln’s. Whatever you want. He already wants you to come down, right?”
I stare at him, catching my breath, trying to comprehend what’s happening, what he just said.
“Come with me,” he pleads against my lips before he gives me a molten kiss that has my body and mind buzzing.
Cameron’s freight train horn sounds nearby. It brings me back to my senses. I push off of Lane’s chest and scurry to my feet, smoothing my messy hair. I can’t believe I just did that.
Lane utters a curse, covering his face with his palms. He sits up with a sigh and moves next to me. It’s obvious he’s not happy about the interruption, but the slam of the tailgate a little harder than necessary proves it.
Cam’s early. It’s probably a good thing he showed up when he did. I look for his truck and see him turning around on the other side of the pond.
“Regan?” Lane sings in a low lullaby of a voice.
I turn to look at him.
“If you change your mind…” He grips my hand in his and gives a gentle squeeze. “I’ll find a way to fly you down.”
I let out a breathy scoff. It’s a little too late for that. “Go. Live your dream.”
His other hand slides into my hair. “You’re so much better than me.” He plants one more soft kiss on my lips.
My head and my body are fighting for control. Both wanting opposite things.
Lane wads the quilt under his arm and strides toward the driver’s door.
I keep step alongside him as Cam pulls next to the Ranger.
This is it. He’s leaving. A sharp pain twists in my heart.
After he tosses the blanket in
, his eyes dart toward Cam’s truck. “Will you answer my calls?” he asks.
“If I have signal.” I can’t write him off and never speak to him again.
He slides in and cranks the engine. The sound punches at my heart. After staring at his dash for a second, his grip tightens on the door. “If I don’t leave right now, I’m never going to do it.”
My throat constricts, and I press my lips together to fight off the tears burning my eyes, but it’s no use. Cam’s presence gives me some strength. How bad would this be if he wasn’t here?
I take a step back, helping Lane make his choice. And then another step. And as many as it takes until he closes the door and puts his truck in gear.
Cam’s truck door shuts, and I see him return Lane’s wave as he passes.
The farther Lane drives, the more dust trails behind him. I watch until he’s out of sight and there’s nothing left of him.
50
CAMERON
I spot Lane’s truck parked on the other side of the pond, but there’s no sign of him. So I drive on over to the cliffs to see if he’s on that side or already in the water. Nothing. I know he’s close and honk my train horn to let him know I’m here.
Regan and I took the first swim of the year together during Spring Break. A smirk rises on my lips because I stole that from Lane. He doesn’t deserve it.
I scan the area and see Regan and then Lane pop up from the bed of his truck. My eyes almost pop out of my head. What the…? Does Lane think he can trail her along after all he did?
I’d like to fly over there and steam-roll over him. But I keep my cool for her sake and slowly turn around. I can’t keep my eyes off of them. My jaw clenches. Look at the way he’s touching her. Like she’s his. It pisses me off even more. He lost that privilege weeks ago.
It’s a good thing Tobi’s not here right now. She’d be threatening me to get my butt over there as fast as I could so she could break it up. Maybe I should.
I idle down the path and park next to Regan’s side-by-side ATV when I glance over and see him gripping the door, pausing, as if he might step back out of his truck and never leave. He screwed up. And he’s finally facing the cost. A slow breath blows across my lips. Should I step out or stay put? If I get out, he might take off.
