Let Me Be The One

by Jo Goodman

  North shrugged. He had considered much the same thing. "It would have been a risk to confront him. He might have hidden them again. They might have been anywhere in the library. It is better to wait and see what he does with the information. I cannot imagine we shall have to wait long."

  Elizabeth's relief was evident. "I am glad for that. I do not think I should be very good at waiting, North."

  Now that the trap had been laid, North knew his own patience would be tested. "One of the things I learned in the army is that it helps to keep oneself occupied."

  Elizabeth's eyes expressed her doubts, but she offered gamely, "I have started a new embroidery piece."

  "Very industrious. I used to polish my buttons and my boots."

  "You have Brill to do that for you now."

  "I had Brill to do it for me then. There were times, though, when it was a thing better done myself." He rubbed his chin with his knuckles while he regarded her."It seems that at present we should engage in something that will occupy us both."

  "Cards?"

  One of North's brows lifted. "You are carrying cards?"

  "Now? Well, no. But when we arrive home we can play a few hands of whist. It is a certainty I shall not be able to sleep."

  North looked for some sign that Elizabeth was not in earnest and could find none. "Perhaps I am not being clear. The activity should offer mutual pleasure."

  "I thought you enjoyed whist."

  "Elizabeth."

  She blinked up at him, her smile perfectly innocent.

  North shook his head. "You cannot be so obtuse."

  "I assure you I can, though it pains me to say so."

  He leaned toward her so that his lips brushed her ear. She had a more difficult time pretending she wasn't moved when his warm breath ruffled a silky tendril of hair. North whispered his intentions in no uncertain terms.

  Elizabeth's eyes widened a fraction. "You can do that?"

  "I am hoping you will help me."

  Her expression was doubtful, though she had to work to keep it that way. "Are you certain you would not rather play cards?"

  In response, North simply hauled her into his arms. "You delight in giving me the very devil of a time. No, I do not care to hear your opinion. Kiss me, Elizabeth."

  She did. Her arms slipped around his neck and she laid her mouth across his, nudging his lips open with one sweet pass of her tongue. She swallowed the soft groan he could not quite hold back. Her fingers threaded in his sunshine hair. She tugged on the ends and felt him shiver in her embrace. "Was that a frisson?" she whispered against his mouth.

  North drew back and let her see his smile.

  Elizabeth's delicious shiver was not entirely feigned. "Ah. All that from a mere smile. Can you teach me?"

  "Not bloody likely. It must be used responsibly."

  Laughing, she launched herself onto his lap and kissed him again. He unbuttoned her pelisse while she opened his greatcoat. Their mouths locked, their fingers remained busy working the buttons and fasteners and strings that frustrated their need for a more intimate joining. Elizabeth straddled North's lap, lifting herself up just enough to allow him to raise her gown. He ran his palm along her silk stocking from ankle to just above her knee. Higher than that he was met with her silky skin. Her gown rustled as it was bunched around her hips. Her breath fell softly on his jaw and neck. Behind his back she stripped off her gloves. She kissed him just below the ear and bit his lobe when he settled her back. His satin breeches were smooth and cool on her bare thighs.

  Almost without conscious thought, she rubbed against him until cool became warm and warm became a flash point.

  "I want to see your breasts," he said.

  The centers of Elizabeth's eyes were already dark and wide. Something about North's tone made them go darker and wider. "If you think to find more pearls, my lord, you are sadly out of it there."

  That she could manage to be so serious and saucy at once made North want to plunge himself into her. He settled for pulling her more tightly against him and frustrating her with the erection straining his breeches. "Your breasts," he said again, this time fairly growling the words.

  Elizabeth's breasts actually swelled against the bodice of her gown. She moaned a little as his fingers tugged on the neckline. She had to help him, and in the end she was eager to do so. Her breasts ached to be touched.

  "Pearls," he said, brushing her nipples with the pads of his thumbs. "So you are a thief, my lady."

  "Fool."

  "For you." He urged her upward until these pearls were presented to his mouth. He took one in, sucking, laving, drawing on it so hotly that she gasped and dug her nails into his shoulders. "Oh, North... Brendan." Her breath came quickly. The cool air inside the carriage swirled around her, but North's touch made it of no account. On either side of his legs her thighs tried to squeeze together. She began to ride his solid frame.

  North palmed her buttocks and felt her wriggle when he wanted to hold her still. She was fluid in his hands, lifting, rocking, sliding against him. He caught her other breast. He rolled the tender tip between his teeth and lips. She cried out this time, something between a laugh and a sob, incoherent, unintelligible, and primal. It communicated everything she felt and desired and needed in that moment. North understood perfectly.

  They both fumbled with the front of his breeches, cursing the slippery satin and their own clumsy fingers. Her hand glided along his engorged penis, stroking the underside just before she rose up and guided him inside her. Their breath mingled, hot and humid. He kissed the corner of her mouth until she moved and took him fully, first with her lips slanting across his, then with her body sinking deeply onto him.

  His fingers pressed against her bottom, lifting her, supporting her, helping her find just the right rhythm. She was tight around him, wet and slippery, her muscles contracting as she rose as if she did not quite want to release him. It was sweet torture. He would have told her how the colonel manipulated the French ambassador, how he managed to make the Prince Regent leave the ball early, and why the ambassador's daughter wore the emeralds instead of the pearls if she had but asked. She didn't, though, so these small secrets remained untold.

  "You're smiling," she said, kissing the faint dimple at the corner of his mouth. "Why are you smiling?"

  "Madam," North said dryly, "you have me to the hilt. Need you ask?"

  She settled more firmly against him, wriggling just a bit to make him seize her bottom tightly. The carriage bounced and her eyes widened as he seemed to touch her womb. "Now I have you to the hilt," she said softly.

  "Indeed. Shall you have your wicked way?" He was both agreeable and hopeful.

  Elizabeth pressed her brow against his. "Do you know what sort of books the ambassador keeps in his private library?"

  "Elizabeth," he said, "we shall be home soon."

  "I have never seen the like before."

  "Then it was not filled with Gothic novels."

  Her small laugh was cut off abruptly as he moved under her. One of his hands left the curve of her bottom to trail slowly around her hip and dip between her thighs. Elizabeth's lashes fluttered closed and her lips parted. She was a moment collecting herself. "Not Gothic novels," she said in a rush.

  "You must have been sorely disappointed." His index finger began to rub lightly against the fleshy hood of her clitoris. A strangled sound came from the back of her throat. "My lady?"

  "Oh, please, Northam. We will be home soon. Have pity."

  He did, of course, as much for his own sake as hers. North's mouth caught hers, his tongue sweeping deeply, drawing on hers as he let her hips move again. When she broke the kiss he feasted on her neck. Her tender breasts, warm and achingly full, rubbed against the gold threads in his waistcoat.

  The well-sprung carriage was not proof against the rock and sway of their bodies. The clatter of the wheels on the icy cobblestones was lost to them. Elizabeth reared back, thrusting her hips forward, and Northam set his heels hard agai
nst the opposite bench. She came noisily, and a moment later so did he.

  Heart hammering, Elizabeth sagged against him. Her hand lay gently against his open collar, just above the pulse in his neck. It thrummed pleasantly against her fingers. She breathed deeply of his scent, relishing the mixture of musk and brandy and the lingering fragrance of his cologne.

  North was no quicker to recover than she, but he was the first to notice the carriage was slowing. He lifted the blind on the window and peeked out. "Merrifeld Square, I'm afraid." He dropped his feet to the floor. His heavy-lidded gaze fell on her flushed breasts. "You will have to put those away."

  She looked down at herself, then at him. "You took them out."

  He gave a hoarse laugh. "Pray, do not invoke that nanny tone. You will put me to a blush."

  Elizabeth kissed him sweetly. "Too late." She lifted herself off his lap and began to right her clothes, smiling when he brushed her hands away and raised the bodice of her gown over her breasts himself. They narrowly managed to present themselves in order as the door to the carriage was opened by the footman. Northam alighted first and held out his hand for Elizabeth. Her legs wobbled a bit and she accepted his assistance gratefully. Out of the corner of her eye she saw their driver's son shifting his weight from one leg to the other, almost dancing in place, as he tried to get a glimpse inside their carriage. The young tiger's expression was equal parts worry and curiosity.

  Elizabeth slipped her arm into North's but held him back while she addressed the boy."What is it, Will? Is something wrong?"

  "I'm looking for the cat, my lady." He ducked under the footman's arm that was still extended to hold the door open and peered inside the carriage. "She must have sneaked in when I was not looking."

  Elizabeth's eyes flew to North's. His were filled with that unholy gleam. That look changed abruptly when he heard the tiger's next remark.

  "But the dog, my lady, I don't know where he come from."

  Elizabeth cleared her throat, prepared to tell young Will that the animals must have already made their escape, but North was moving quickly toward the house, pulling her in his wake.

  Careful not to catch the other's eye, they comported themselves with dignity as they were relieved of their wraps at the door. North asked for a brandy to be brought to him in his room and tea for Elizabeth. In their bedchamber he dismissed Brill and Elizabeth's personal maid, and when they were alone he sank slowly into the large wing chair. Elizabeth did likewise on the edge of the bed. They both stared at their hands a moment before lifting their faces simultaneously and taking full measure of the other's expression.

  Mortification warred with amusement, but the latter won out. They laughed until tears glistened at the corners of their eyes. Elizabeth used one corner of the coverlet to dab at hers while North used his handkerchief. On two different occasions they tried to talk, but each attempt sent them back into paroxysms of laughter.

  The arrival of brandy and tea sobered them somewhat.

  When the butler was gone, North loosened his cravat and removed his jacket. Standing near the fire, he warmed the brandy in the cup of his palms. "What sort of dog do you think I was?" he wondered aloud."Not one of those yipping lap puppies my mother is so fond of, I hope. I shouldn't like to think I sound quite so shrill." He thought a moment. "Or annoying."

  Elizabeth almost choked on a mouthful of tea. "Please, North, choose your moments with more care. But if you must know, you howl like a giant mastiff. Does that please you?"

  He cocked one brow. "Truly?"

  "Like a pack of mastiffs."

  North chuckled. "You flatter me, my lady."

  Elizabeth's smile was wry. "I certainly do."

  He grinned. "Do you want to know the sort of feline you are?"

  "Absolutely not." She held up one hand, palm out, to make certain North knew she was serious. "I shall never let you make love to me in that carriage again."

  North sighed. "This is what comes of spending so much time in my grandfather's company. You have become a prude, my lady. It is not becoming."

  "Hah! At what age do you think young William will know what we were about in there?"

  "Unless I miss my guess, his father and the footman are explaining the way of it to him now."

  "Oh, surely not."

  "He's of an age. I had already seen Madame Fortuna's quim."

  "You saw a peach."

  "That is neither here nor there. I was prepared to know and see a great deal more."

  Elizabeth's teacup hid the part of her smile that did not reach her eyes. "You will understand if I cannot look at him properly again."

  "You will have to, else he'll think he's out of favor."

  She had not thought of that. Her embarrassment would have to be a secondary consideration. "This is your fault." Elizabeth set her teacup aside and stood. She ran her fingers through her hair and shook it out. Crossing the room, she presented her back to Northam for assistance with her gown. "I depend on your reserve. We both know I have none where you are concerned. I never have."

  North grasped Elizabeth by the waist and pulled her backwards onto his lap. "Is that true?"

  The edge of gravity in his voice stayed Elizabeth's flippant response. She turned slightly, settling herself in his arms and regarding him solemnly. "Yes, it's true. Never doubt it." She touched his cheek with her fingertips. "I wonder sometimes about you and the women you've known." Elizabeth smiled faintly when she saw his surprise. "That never occurred to you, did it?"

  He shook his head, almost regretfully. "I'm sorry, but it didn't."

  "I suppose that is the way of things. Women must march to one drummer and men to another." Elizabeth circled North's wrist and lifted his hand and the brandy snifter toward her lips. He tilted the glass so she could drink. It was warm in her mouth, and warmer yet when it settled in her stomach. "When I make love to you, it is different. I cannot explain it better than that. It allows me to hope that it is different for you also. I have never permitted myself to believe I did not love Adam's father, for if I did not, then everything that followed would somehow be tainted, and I would be more foolish than I could admit even to myself." She searched his face, willing him to understand."But sometimes I wonder about that love now, because it is such a pale thing compared to what I have in my heart for you. When you touch me, Brendan, nothing is as it ever was."

  He took her to bed then, loving her with gentle passion this time, smiling wryly when she stretched languidly against him, replete, sleepy, and actually purred in his arms.

  Chapter 16

  Northam met with Lord Battenburn the following morning, but the interview provided no new information or any clue that the baron had truly taken the bait.

  "He mentioned nothing about the documents?" asked Elizabeth when Northam returned. She placed the book she had been attempting to read aside. In truth, during North's absence, she had spent more time glancing at the clock and looking out the window than reading.

  "I didn't expect him to say anything overt." Northam warmed his hands at the fireplace. Flakes of snow melted on his boots. "He would not give himself away in such a manner. Certainly not to me. But I thought there might be some hint that he would be meeting with one or two of the men who agreed to have their names included in the ambassador's papers. Battenburn does enjoy dropping a name from time to time. That is what I thought I might hear."

  Elizabeth sighed. "It is really too bad of him." A lock of hair fell across her forehead and she blew it up and away. "Then we can't know with certainty that he has the papers."

  "I stopped at West's briefly. He assured me that all the documents were put in the same hiding place as the jewelry. You could not have missed seeing them, he said." North dropped his hands and pivoted on his heel toward Elizabeth, his brows drawn slightly. "West did ask about the books, though. About whether or not you had mentioned them. I said you had not and he seemed rather relieved. It struck me as odd; then, as I was returning home, I remembered you had indeed said some
thing about the ambassador's private library. As I recall, you began the discussion at a rather... well, I believe we were quite sufficiently occupied, and I certainly had no interest in whatever books the ambassador may have collected."

  North noticed Elizabeth's eyes darting ever so slightly to a point past his shoulder. She also grew suddenly restless, drawing her feet onto the chair and arranging the plaid woolen rug across her lap. "Hmm," he murmured.

  Her head came up. "What does that mean? 'Hmm'? What sort of notion does that signify?"

  Amused, realizing he had struck a chord and knowing Elizabeth's talent for diversion, he kept his tone casual. "It is merely observational in nature. You do not seem to want to discuss the ambassador's books this morning."

  "This is hardly the place."

  North looked around. "Elizabeth. We are in the library."

  "I have only recently had my breakfast."

  "And that is relevant in what way?"

  "It is not. It is merely a statement of fact."

  North laughed. "I'm afraid you have intrigued me. Out with it—what sort of books were they? Pray, do not tell me now that you do not know, for we are well past the point where I might believe such a Banbury tale."

  Elizabeth could not muster the right note of indignation to suggest offense so she surrendered to the inevitable. "Did you interrogate spies for the colonel?"

  "No. Do you think I would have been good at it?"

  "Very." She pushed back in the chair a little, bracing herself as she drew a deep breath. "I cannot speak to the ambassador's entire collection. Indeed, I only opened one book, and I only regarded two pages."

  North waited for her to go on, but Elizabeth's tongue seemed to have cleaved to the roof of her mouth. "And...?"

  "And I saw a pair of illustrations."

  "Yes?"

  "They were... they were... um..."

  North inclined his head. "'Um'?"

  "They were naked."

  "The illustrations?"

  "The man and the woman."