Amy Sumida - Eye of Re (The Godhunter Book 17)

by Unknown

  “I would probably try to seduce you and make you unfaithful to your husband,” Re admitted as he looked back at me. “That's what I would do if you had a normal life. I would find a way to make you leave your husband and marry me. Is that selfish of me? Maybe, but I've never loved anyone as I love you and I'm not going to give that up without a fight. If you were married to one man, I would do whatever it took to have you. But you don't have to leave anyone to be with me. I don't have to be that man who breaks up a woman's marriage. I don't have to be selfish or cruel, I simply have to be willing to share you and as much as I rebel against the thought, I've accepted it. I'd rather share than have nothing. So why can't you, Vervain? Why can't you accept me when I'm willing to sacrifice so much for you?”

  I just gaped at him. All of my love and reasoning was confused by the question. I wanted limits. I wanted normal. I wanted true love. But my life wasn't normal and sometimes limits were meant to be stretched. So there I was, circling back to the easy choice. Should you take love when it's offered, even if it turns you into a liar? If it hurts no one, should love be denied? But this would hurt someone. I looked over to Odin and saw that his jaw was clenched, his hands curled into fists on his lap.

  Odin may be alright with the other men, the lioness magic took care of that, but he wasn't a pack animal like Trevor or Kirill, or a loner who'd lived without love as Azrael had. Odin ruled Asgard. He'd been married, once to me, and had several women devoted purely to him. He has a whole flock of Valkyries who fly to his hand when he beckons. He wasn't a man who knew a lot about sharing and I knew that if I took Re, Odin would suffer for it. It would wound him deeply... and that was something I would not do if I could help it.

  “You may be willing but they have already sacrificed to be with me,” I waved my hand at my men and stopped to smile gently at Odin. “Odin died for me and Azrael came very close to doing the same thing,” I looked back to Re. “Do I repay them by taking more time away from them? By spreading myself thinner to be with you, just because you offer me more? Wouldn't that be cruel and selfish?”

  “Lala,” Re whispered.

  “Please understand that this isn't about you or how I feel for you. This is about Odin,” I looked back at Odin and he smiled broadly at me. It was all I needed for my heart to warm and my resolve strengthen; for me to know that this was the right decision. I transferred my gaze to Trevor. “It's about Trevor.” I looked toward Kirill, “and Kirill,” and then my gaze settled on Azrael. “It's about Azrael.” Finally, I looked back at Re, filled with love for my men, and he flinched, seeing it clearly. “It's about Arach. I can't make it about you. They come first, they have to.”

  “I see that,” Re said stiffly and stood. “And I hope that someday I'll understand it but for now, I'm hurt, Vervain. I'm angry and I'm hurt and I need to not see you for awhile.”

  “Re,” I called out to him as he walked away, and he stopped to look back at me over his shoulder. “Life is always a blessing, even if we're not allowed to be a part of it.”

  “That was unfair, Godhunter,” he sighed. “And a bit cruel.”

  I was about to apologize when chaos erupted inside my chest.

  Without the bond and control of my star, my beasts were able to assert themselves more fully and my lioness was doing just that. I hadn't even considered that she would love Re as much as I did, that she might not take kindly to letting him go. I'd always thought my dragon was the most possessive of my beasts but I was wrong. So very wrong.

  I screamed as she clawed inside me as if she could burst out of my chest and chase after Re. Everyone jumped up and Re came racing back as I was violently tossed about and my chair toppled. I fell to the ground, rolling with each internal blow, crying out with each swipe of those invisible but vicious claws. It was a psychic attack of course, I wasn't really being torn apart from within, but damn if it didn't feel like it.

  Pain upon more pain. It became mind numbing and I faded away from any other sensation, like that of all the concerned hands on me. I closed my eyes and retreated into my head, in an effort to confront my lioness. But that's what she'd been counting on. Immediately, flashes of memory played out like a movie on the screen of my mind. But they weren't my memories, these were the memories of my lioness. My Intare magic.

  I knew the magic was alive, I even knew it was sentient. Hell, I've reasoned with it enough times to know that. But I didn't realize it could share its memories with me. And that's exactly what she did. She took me back to her beginning, to the time when her energy was first gathered and focused into the original lioness goddess; Nyavirezi.

  The images came forward and sank into me, until I wasn't just watching them, I was experiencing them. I saw the ground flying away beneath my paws, the sharp taste of blood in my mouth and the sweet scent of crushed grass in my nose. I was full, completely sated and on my way home... to my husband. I wanted the warmth of our fire and of his hands. I expected him to be inside, giving me time to shift back into human before I went within. But when our home came into view, I found him standing outside of it, waiting for me. He was holding a spear and he came towards me waving it aggressively. I stopped, frozen in panic.

  If it were anyone but him, I would have attacked but I didn't. I chose instead to flee. My husband probably thought I was a real lioness, braving the human settlement to hunt. He was only trying to protect our home, as any man would. So I turned swiftly in the tall grass and was about to run away when he called out to me.

  “Nya, come here,” he said with a voice full of rage.

  He knew. How? Could I still run? Did I even want to? I was a goddess now, the people worshiped me. Bobingo would understand. He accepted sacrifice from the humans too, he knew it was changing us. He would understand, he must.

  “I know it's you, Nyavirezi,” Bobingo smacked the end of his spear into the hard earth. “What have you done?”

  What had I done? I blinked, trying to think. I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd hunted as a lioness does, killing only animals, never humans. I'd run across the grasslands and basked in the sun. Simple pleasures. Where was the harm in that? I turned and looked at him in confusion.

  “This is what you want me to be?” He asked angrily. “Some animal? Did you think I'd let the magic transform me into a lion and we could rut like beasts?”

  I cringed. My lioness heart saw nothing wrong with being a beast or glorying in it.

  “I am master here, do you understand me?!” He shouted, shaking the spear at me. But then came forward and crouched so he could sneer, “If I became a lion, do you know what I would do, Nya? I would be a true lion and create a Pride. I would take all the women I wanted and make you hunt for me, make you kill for me, while I feasted and fucked my way through life. That's what I'd do.”

  Anger rose in me, fierce and sudden. I held the lioness magic. It had chosen me first, not him. I gave it form and life. I was descended from a royal line of Atlanteans, unlike his common family. My blood was pure and I was meant to rule. No one would take that from me. With a swift strike, I jumped up and closed my jaws around his neck. It was so easy. It took barely any movement at all to kill the man I'd once loved.

  Then I felt a tingle on my skin, more magic trying to get inside me. Bobingo's magic. He had been on the cusp of godhood, just a step away from forming his own power. The irony was that I could feel the lion in it, the male counterpart to my lioness. Perhaps that was why he'd been so mad; I'd made the choice for both of us. I'd accepted the lioness and his infant magic had chosen to follow. Whatever had prompted Bobingo's anger, his magic didn't want to pay for his mistake. It wanted to live.

  I decided to welcome it, to let it merge with mine and strengthen me so that I would never have to subject myself to another man's rule. I would be both lion and lioness. I would be the only goddess to my Pride. And I would be the one who feasted and fucked my way through life.

  As the magic melded together, I licked my husband's blood from my lips and smiled.

  �
�No!” I screamed as I came out of the horrible vision. “We are not that woman. We aren't her,” I whimpered as my lioness began to roar inside me. “Stop,” I gasped for air as she cut into me again. I guess she disagreed.

  “Vervain!” Someone was shouting my name in a hoarse voice that sounded as if it had been shouting for quite awhile. “Vervain, tell us what's happening!”

  I opened my eyes and saw Trevor, his honey-colored eyes, tight with worry. He didn't know, none of them knew about my star yet. I needed to tell them, needed to explain why I was losing control of my lioness. But I couldn't breathe. Those claws just kept digging into me, pain shooting out from my core. I realized that this pain wouldn't kill me. It was all just a stimulation of my brain. Which meant that it could go on forever. Just as Iktomi had done to me. How horrible that I was now doing it to myself.

  “What's happening to her?” I recognized that voice and so did my lioness. He was one of ours; Aidan. Ours. Just like Re.

  “Re,” I breathed and everyone went still.

  “I'm here, Lala,” a warm hand took mine and I opened my eyes to see Re's above me, so close in color to Trevor's but with that metallic gleam instead of a warm glow. “What can I do?” And those eyes were worried... no, scared. He was terrified.

  “I...” I looked around at all the anxious faces. Kirill, Azrael, and Odin were all pressed close to me while Trevor held me in his lap, and behind them were my lions. I screamed again as my lioness clawed at my chest. “I'm sorry, Odin,” I sobbed as tears streaked down my face.

  “It's alright, love,” he whispered and took my other hand. “Whatever you need to do, do it.”

  “I love you,” I swallowed hard and then turned to look at Re. “But I love you too.”

  I let go of Odin so I could reach for Re's face and pull him down to me. His eyes lit with hope and then his mouth was on mine, calming my raging beast as he brought forth another storm inside me. Mine. Yes, he was mine. I ruled the grasslands. I took the best cuts of meat and the best mates. I decided who stayed and who left. This queendom was mine.

  The pain eased and the rage reduced to a simmer. I had my hands at Re's shoulders, digging into them as I growled low in my throat and bit at his lips. He responded with equal vigor, pulling me tight to his chest and positioning me across his lap. It was just what she needed and the lioness began to purr inside me, content at last.

  I pulled away from Re suddenly as I pushed my lioness instincts down. Instincts that I now knew were more than just a lioness. They were both lion and lioness. Creator and destroyer, provider and protector, king and queen. It was a lot to take in but maybe now that I understood it, I could learn to control it better. I could prevent anything like this from ever happening again.

  “I rule,” I whispered as I looked up into Re's face.

  “Vervain?” He frowned. His eyes were glazed with passion and his lips swollen from my kiss.

  “It was the lioness,” I sighed and eased off his lap.

  “Tima, are you alright?” Fallon called out to me.

  “I'm fine, everyone,” I reassured them and the Pride visibly relaxed. “Go back to whatever you were doing. I'm okay but I need to talk to my men now.”

  “Yes, Tima,” Fallon nodded and ushered everyone else out.

  “Carus,” Azrael helped me to my feet. “You're saying that your lioness was hurting you?”

  “She wants Re and was tearing me up inside for letting him go,” I glanced at the Sun God, expecting to see a smug look on his face but all I saw was pain. “Why aren't you happy about that?” I asked him.

  “She wants me,” he sighed. “Not you.”

  “You're a moron,” Odin shook his head.

  “Excuse me?” Re growled.

  “They both want you,” Odin snapped as he got in Re's face. “Woman and beast. It's just that the woman has more sense than the animal.”

  “Vhat's done is done,” Kirill laid a hand on Odin's shoulder.

  “I'm so sorry, Odin,” I took his hand. “I know this bothered you the most. I didn't want to do this.”

  “I know,” he turned away from Re and pulled me into a hug. “Your safety is more important to me than my ego. You know that.”

  “But your happiness is important to me,” I whispered back.

  “I'll be happy as long as I have you,” he sighed. “But he's not being added to the wedding.”

  “No, he's not,” I agreed, a huge weight lifting from my chest. Then I looked to the others. “Are the rest of you still okay with Re?”

  “I think it would be best if he didn't move in,” Trevor said reasonably.

  “I don't want to move in,” Re frowned at Trevor but then focused on me. “Are you saying that we're giving this a shot, Vervain?”

  “I'm saying that I'll be yours forever. If that's what you still want,” I held a hand out to him and he used it to pull me into an embrace.

  “It's about damn time,” he whispered right before he kissed me.

  Chapter Forty-One

  My new relationship with Re was taking a slow start. We had agreed that he would remain in his home and I would visit him there but those visits had been limited . Wedding plans were going full throttle and it seemed like I woke every morning to a new schedule of events that had been made without my input or approval. Well, I did give my men complete control over the wedding, so I guess I only had myself to blame for that. But who knew there was so much to be done just to get married?

  Because it was finally decided that the wedding would be held in my territory and due to the simple fact that I was the bride, even though I wasn't in control, I still had to be involved with most of the preparations. For example; my territory magic was needed to transform things into party necessities. I made a rock into a massive white tent, sticks into seating, and blades of grass into a rose garden. Why decorate with cut flowers when you can make them grow wherever you want?

  So the aisle was lined in arches covered in white roses, and the seating was luxurious damask cushioned couches. I controlled the weather in my territory too so I didn't have to worry about a sudden rainstorm. At the back of the tent, I created a raised dais so everyone (and there would be thousands of guests evidently) would be able to see us exchange vows. The dais wasn't wood but shaped soil, with a gentle ramp sloping down from its center. I'd chosen soil instead of wood so I could grow even more white roses over an arch big enough to cover all five of us.

  I was so nervous about the ceremony. I'd had private commitment ceremonies with my men before but this would be all of us, in front of our friends and family. My mother would be there, though she was my only family member who would. This was my life and I wasn't ashamed of the choices I'd made but the thought of my grandmother seeing me marry four men at once made my throat go dry. So we had told Grandma that I was getting married to Trevor in Africa, knowing full well that Grandma wouldn't want to make the trip. Trevor was the only one with a human identity and so was the only one I could legally marry. Why Africa? Because my family would obviously want to see some wedding pictures and the landscape around Pride Palace was definitely African.

  Azrael's entire family would be at the wedding, including his half-brother Jesus (AKA J-Man), and all of the demons of Hell. I wasn't worried about them, they were actually great at parties and most had perfectly normal looking faces they could wear. The Froekn however, could get wild, and they would also be there, along with Trevor's father; Fenrir, and Fenrir's wife, Emma. Then there was Odin's family, which included our sons; Vali and Vidar, who would be walking me down the aisle. There was also the Valkyries, as well as several Norse gods I'd never met. I'd have to change the wards after the wedding, just to be safe.

  The only one of my men who didn't have family, in the traditional sense of the word, was Kirill. Still, the Pride was his family and they would, of course, all be there. Then there was the full flock of Thunderbirds, several angels, Salem the dragon, a slew of Greek gods, a nest of nagas, and even a few of my human friends.
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  So, to accommodate all of our guests, the party would be both inside and outside of Pride Palace; with a buffet table set up in the dining hall and seats spread about everywhere. Dark Horses and Roar would provide the entertainment, there would be a bar near the pool, and Zariel would be my flower girl. Oh yes, and Satan would be conducting the ceremony.

  Back at Pronovias, Andre had been gleefully shocked at how fast I'd got my pre-baby body back and he'd whispered to me that he hadn't truly believed I would make it in time. Then he asked me what wonder pill I'd taken to make it possible. I told him it was magic and he had giggled like a little girl.

  My trousseau had been ready and waiting for me but I had to return later for my wedding dress, which was being fit to my exact measurements. It was a good thing too, because it turns out that trousseau is French for a crap load of stuff and the wedding dress alone would be packed in a box taller than me. Andre offered to have it all delivered but of course, that wasn't possible.

  So we'd lugged home the numerous boxes which held Venetian lace underwear, silk stockings, a garter belt, frilly garters (why did I need a garter belt then?), cream-colored silk high heels, a robe, a silk nightgown, a handkerchief, a pair of silk boxers for the groom (no one told Andre there were four grooms so I had to whip up three more), a cocktail dress for the reception, a bottle of perfume, and my veil. I had changed my mind and decided to go with the matching veil after all (it wasn't like I couldn't handle the weight of all those crystals) so the veil's box was nearly as big as the one for the dress. Insert big sigh here.