Christmas Jack-o'-Lantern

by Subhajit Waugh

  She bowed down, offered a salaam and left with a cunning grin.

  * * *

  A large seesaw had been erected at the edge of the pond. One end of the pole had a chair attached to it, and the other end had a boulder as a partial counter-balance. A rope was attached to the pole just in front of the boulder. A man was pulling down the rope, and holding the seesaw horizontal.

  La Befana’s companion was sitting on the chair at the other end of the pole. She was dry, and appeared quite comfortable, though her mouth had been gagged, and her hands were tied.

  La Befana was brought blindfolded to the edge of the pond.

  A man started striking the surface of water rhythmically with the flat blade of an oar, making a periodic splashing sound. This lasted for several minutes.

  Jack gave a signal. Instantly the rope-man released the rope, plunging Befana’s companion in the water. The oar man hid his oar among the bushes quickly. Within seconds, the rope-man pulled back the rope, bringing Befana’s companion in the former position.

  Jack was amazed to see that the black, shining hair of Befana’s companion had turned grayish white, and black drops of water was dripping down her hairs. A thick layer of face paints had washed away, exposing her dotted and rough bare cheek. Barbarossa looked at her in contempt and commented “We’ll surely find a thick layer of lip-stick when we untie the gag from her mouth”.

  Jack hid his smile.

  “We’ll have to repeat the process once again, otherwise it won’t look convincing-just one more dip to wash away the hair dyes and paints” Jack whispered to Barbarossa.

  Barbarossa relayed Jack’s message and winked to the rope man. The man holding the rope repeated the process.

  “Now untie Befana’s blindfold” Jack whispered to Barbarossa.

  Barbarossa made a cup with his hands around his mouth “Untie La Befana’s eyes”.

  As soon as Befana’s blinds were removed, the rope man released his rope, plunging Befana’s companion in the pond and pulled her back again quickly.

  La Befana stared with horror struck eyes at her dripping companion. “Nooooo!” she yelled “release my companion instantly!”

  The rope-man replied humorously “You want me to release her?” and released his rope, plunging Befana’s companion in the pool. He pulled back his rope, lifting her immediately, and held her steadily above the water.

  Jack shouted at the rope man in a fit of pretended rage “You have been ducking her in the pond since morning, and you haven’t half-drowned her yet!!”

  “Give me some more time Sir” the man replied back “I swear I’ll choke her to the point of death”.

  “Then do it” Jack shouted back “And show no mercy whatever! I don’t mind if you have to continue till dusk”.

  Jack turned at the lady guard, accompanying La Befana and shouted furiously “And what’s your purpose in bringing Befana here? Remove her away, instantly”.

  The lady guard ignored Befana’s screams and protests, blindfolded her again, and led her away.

  The rope-man held Befana’s companion several feet above the surface of water, while La Befana was being led away. The oar-man splashed a few more times with his oar to make it sound as if La Befana’s companion was still being ducked repeatedly in the pond.

  “By the way, Barbarossa, is the straw effigy of a witch ready yet?” Jack asked Barbarossa.

  “Er…almost ready” Barbarossa replied.

  “I want it by midnight” Jack instructed “And make it look as lifelike as possible-like a real witch”.

  When Befana was out of sight, they quickly untied Befana’s companion from her chair.

  “This wouldn’t have been necessary” Barbarossa said as he untied the gag from her mouth “if you had agreed to cooperate with us”.

  “You thought I would have cooperated to deceive my mistress-my closest companion!” She shouted with glowing anger in her eyes “How dare you?”

  Barbarossa displayed the red lipstick-stained handkerchief to Jack and addressed her again “We are sorry for the inconvenience. Now cheer up and be optimistic! Which reminds me…an optimistic is someone who takes a bath when accidentally falling in the river…would you like to take a bath?”

  She stumped her feet on the ground and screamed furiously “Shut up!”

  * * *

  It was past midnight when La Befana woke up in panic, in her prison cell, on hearing an unearthly scream. Her cellmate’s unearthly scream would have made the boldest of man shiver with fear and made his hairs stand on the edge.

  “What’s it?” La Befana asked in a trembling voice, grasping her cellmate’s arm and shuddering.

  “Look!” she replied, pointing her index finger.

  A dozen men, holding flaming torches approached the center of the grass field from opposite side. As they came nearer, they shouted and waved their torches. They stopped in front of the huge pile of woods at the center of the field, and all of them threw their burning torches at the heap on their leader’s command.

  Befana’s cellmate nudged her with her elbow and asked, “Isn’t that your companion?”

  A figure of a witch, robed in black, and tied to a stake amidst the wooden pile, became visible momentarily and was engulfed within moments in the huge rising flames and dark smoke.

  Two drummers were beating their drums loudly, which drowned Befana’s screams.

  * * *

  La Befana’s cellmate was shifted elsewhere under suspicious pretexts to raise fear in Befana’s mind. Before leaving, she bade a tearful ‘goodbye’ to Befana, and said in a trembling, mournful tone “we may never meet again, so take care of yourself. And beware of the two witch-hunters responsible for half-drowning and then burning your companion alive. Remain especially beware of the adolescent & handsome looking witch-hunter” she advised Befana.

  La Befana was alone in her cell when Jack approached.

  La Befana gazed at Jack with horror-struck eyes, as if she faced death itself. Then she sprang up in panic, and remained frozen to the spot.

  “Don’t be afraid” Jack said “I have come to make friendship with you”.

  La Befana viewed him with deep suspicion and fear in her eyes. Her pupils had dilated to almost twice the normal size. “Murderer!” she shouted at Jack “You burned my companion alive”.

  She was breathing heavily. Her face was pale as a ghost, as if all her blood had been drained off. She looked paralyzed with fear.

  She appeared dizzy, and her hand was involuntarily groping for something to hold as support. Finding nothing else, she picked up a pillow from her prison bed, and grasped it tightly with both her hands, close to her heart.

  “I came here to help you if I could” Jack said in an assuring tone “I am Jack”. He took a few steps forward, and offered his hand.

  La Befana shuddered and retracted her steps. She stepped on a porcelain dish with her hard sole shoes, cracking it into pieces. She was alarmed by the noise.

  Jack took another step forward.

  She retracted further, till her back touched the prison wall. She was cornered. There was no room left.

  Befana’s face twitched violently and she burst into tears. All her accumulated emotions had suddenly burst out.

  She fell on her knees, and clasped both her trembling hands tightly together.

  “Spare me! Spare my life!” Befana pleaded with folded hands.

  “That’s way I have come here” Jack lowered his voice “I might have a deal for you”.

  “Will you spare my life?” La Befana uttered in disbelief. A spark of hope glistened at the corner of her eye.

  “You see, it will be a very difficult task for me to convince my bloodthirsty witch-hunter team to spare you” Jack said “But I shall try my best”.

  Both of them remained silent for several minutes. La Befana’s expressions were fast returning to normal. She stared at Jack’s face, waiting for him to make the next move. Finally she put back her pillow and looked cautiously
at Jack’s face.

  “What shall be the terms of the deal?” La Befana said.

  “To retain your life and freedom, you’ll have to give up something in return” Jack said, “Nothing comes without a cost, you see”.

  “I’ll give up anything in return for my life and freedom” Befana said “Anything!”

  “Anything?” Jack asked with a cunning smile “Are you willing to give up your title of ‘Mother of all children of Italy’?”

  “Noooo. That would hurt more than death” Befana said, almost breaking in a sob. “You can ask for anything else!”

  “I see” Jack said “In that case, are you ready to hand over your role as ‘Christmas gift distributor’ to your Italian competitor ‘Babboo Natale’?”

  “Oh my God!” La Befana shrieked. Tears appeared on her face “You ask me to surrender my identity to my competitor and archrival? Do you have any idea what a rascal fellow he is?!” she wiped the tears from her cheek, with her embroidered handkerchief, exposing her pimples and pockmarked cheek. “Anything else apart from that” she pleaded.

  Jack eyed her with half contempt and half amusement. “Are you ready to resign from your post of secretary of Christmas witches?”

  “Alas! I’ll be ruined. Devastated. Finished!” another outburst of tears flowed down her cheeks. She wiped her face, smearing her lipstick on her face. She blew her nose in her kerchief and said, “You can ask anything else you want”.

  “Hmmm…I see, I see” Jack said gravely “Can you bring about a reunion among the clashing factions of witches?”

  “Isn’t there anything else, which you might ask?” she asked in a complaining tone “It is such a difficult task. There are so many types of witches: Celtic Witches, Kitchen witches, Eclectic witches, ceremonial witches, Caledonian witches….” she counted her fingers as she spoke “…and so on, each group jealously guarding its separate identity. The task of uniting the dark witches and Christmas witches is really so difficult!”

  “At least, will you agree and try to bring the Christmas witches and dark witches under one banner?” Jack asked “can’t you bring about a reunion between these two major factions of witches, so that other factions may be tempted to join?”

  “The two factions have become antagonistic” La Befana said “ever since they split during the gathering at Salem and since then-”

  “Do you agree or not?” Jack interrupted her impatiently “Do you want me to leave now, and leave you to your fate?”

  “I agree. I agree” she blurted.

  “Good! In that case you sign this secret pact. You shall be allowed to retain your prestigious title as ‘Mother of all children of Italy’ as well as the post of ‘Hon. Secretary of Christmas Witches’. You won’t have to accept ‘Babboo Natale’ as the official gift distributor of Italy either! All I want is ‘on-demand support’ from all Christmas witches, and hopefully from dark witches as well. And for ensuring that happens, you shall attempt to elect a person of my choice as the President of the two united factions”.

  La Befana remained silent for some time. Finally she nodded and said “Agreed!”

  “That’s a wise decision” Jack said “Apart from signing; you shall also have to make a speech publicly at the witches’ gathering…” Jack left his words trailing and groped in his pockets.

  He took out a few handwritten pieces of papers and handed it over to Befana “Now take these parchments, and practice reciting these speeches, so that you can make them sound as passionate as possible. It contains instructions about which part to announce, under any particular circumstance”.

  Befana tucked them inside her emerald-green robe and asked “Whom am I supposed to support for President?”

  “Sorry, I won’t disclose that now” Jack said “What is most important to you is: you shall be released immediately. And…” Jack continued, “…So will be your companion”.

  “She is alive!?” Befana blurted in excitement and disbelief.

  Back to top

  Chapter 25

  Witch’s Sabbath

  Witches started gathering around the Stonehenge-not the world famous Stonehenge in Wiltshire, England, but a lesser-known one in Italy. The Stonehenge was located right at the center of a fairly large clearing in a dense forest.

  Jack observed that most of the witches were either dressed in Emerald-green or in black. And they didn’t mingle freely either. They clustered into smaller groups.

  Birds of the same feather flock together Jack observed gloomily reunion won’t be so easy.

  Jack strolled among the gathering, inspecting around. He watched the satyr supervising the arrangement of chairs and tables. “He is doing a good job” Jack muttered to himself. Jack had appointed the bald headed, thick bearded, horse tailed Satyr as chief caterer. The upper half of the satyr was like a man, and his lower half was like a goat. He had hooves like a goat, in place of feet, and had horns on his head.

  Jack walked around among the hostile gathering of witches.

  “The convener must be crazy!” one of the green robed witch blurted to her companion “carelessly calling a meeting at the same venue and at the same time! Didn’t even bother to check out…”

  “Hah! I suppose it is not carelessly, but deliberately, to intensify our enmity” the other witch snapped.

  Jack moved on. He saw that some of the clusters of witches had formed tighter circles and whispering among themselves, and occasionally glancing at the groups of different colors with suspicion and hatred.

  Jack sprang to his feet on hearing a sudden yell. He turned around instantly to find that one black-robed witch and one green-robed witch were pulling each other’s hairs and yelling frantically.

  Jack rushed towards them. The caterer satyr and his three accomplices also came running, waving their batons.

  Jack saw that the onlookers had already formed a circle around the fighting witches, and were cheering enthusiastically:

  “Tear off her hairs!”

  “Punch her long nose into a pancake!”

  Someone made a shrill wolf whistle and shouted, “Slap her face!”

  “Use your nails. Scratch her face”.

  The onlookers clapped and cheered. The atmosphere was heating up faster and faster and within moments, the fight spread among the supporters.

  The satyr and his accomplices pounced on the fighting witches and pulled them apart with a mighty force. Then, with a rapid discharge of batons, they manage to disperse the fighting onlookers.

  “Shame on you all!” Jack shouted at them, “Even small children can behave more maturely”.

  The satyr pulled Jack by his hand and took him to a vacant spot. Then he grumbled in a hushed voice “Now you understand why I demanded more guards? I’ll be having a hell of a trouble keeping things under control. If they are so unruly at this evening hour, imagine what will happen by midnight. Especially when, many of them get intoxicated at Sabbath feast”.

  “You have arranged for intoxications as well?” Jack asked in disbelief.

  The satyr stared hard at Jack and snorted like a horse. “You have never been to any witches’ Sabbath I suppose!”

  Jack felt uneasy, as the satyr continued to stare at Jack contemptuously.

  “I don’t have to arrange for intoxications at the feast” the satyr said “They will take care of that themselves-they’ll bring bottles of alcohol and pillboxes, with all sorts of intoxicants and hallucinogens”.

  * * *

  It was late evening, when ‘La Befana’ arrived at the witches’ Sabbath, riding on her flying broom. The emerald robed witches raised joyful cry and cheered, "Long live the ‘mother of all children of Italy’! Glory to La Befana!"

  Jack requested La Befana to take her seat adjacent to the center chair on the stage.

  More satyrs, mini-demons and witches were still pouring in.

  It was almost midnight when the Russian witch ‘Baba Yaga’ arrived, flying on her gigantic mortar. There was an echo of joy among the blac
k-robed witches.

  Jack rose up from his seat and announced in a loud voice "we all welcome our chief guest ‘Baba Yaga’, who has arrived here for the first time. It is indeed a matter of great pleasure for us that she has accepted our invitation to attend the ceremony. I would request Baba Yaga to say a few words and then preside over this meeting”

  Baba Yaga occupied the center chair on the stage. The black robed witches and satyrs cheered triumphantly, while there was a hue and cry and suppressed protests among the emerald dressed witches.

  Baba Yaga stood up and occupied the podium. “First of all, I would like to thank-“she cut her words abruptly, and dodged aside, narrowly escaping an egg which came hurtling towards her face. A lady’s shoe, and two more eggs followed it rapidly. One of the eggs smashed on her shoulder, emitting disgusting rotten smell.

  There was an immediate laughter and angry reaction simultaneously among the gathering.

  “Enough of this!” Jack stood up and yelled desperately at the gathering.

  Sensing danger, Baba Yaga cut short her speech drastically and said “It’s almost midnight now. Let us now begin our procession-" She left the podium, almost rushing for shelter and vanished through the side entrance of the stage.

  With flourish of trumpets, and beats of drums, hundreds of witches and human sized demons, encircled the Stonehenge and began a wild back-to-back dance.

  The beat of the drums went louder and faster, and so did the intensity and wildness of the dance. Then they started shouting chants and hymns in unison.

  Then the grand feast began. Countless wooden tables and chairs had been arranged in a semicircle pattern around the roaring fire. Soon the air started smelling of barbecue roasts, and exotic spices and fermenting fruity odors. The caterers rushed to and from the makeshift tents and barbecue ovens to the dining tables, carrying roasted turkeys and plates upon plates of cakes and ale, sacks of fruits and other delicacies. The piles of food started disappearing from the plates. Piles of chicken bones and unfinished cakes started piling on the grassy ground, which were hungrily devoured by fighting wolves from nearby woods. It was undoubtedly an open-air banquet on the grandest scale.