A Gift of Time

by Beth Flynn

  “Oh, Elliott, I don’t know what’s wrong.” She swiped her fingers beneath her eyes. “Maybe I feel bad about it in some way. I mean, a guy is dead. Or maybe I feel guilty for helping Leslie behind my parents’ backs. I don’t know why I’m crying.” She sniffled. “We get so little time together, and I don’t want to spend it blubbering all over Edith’s couch.”

  She smiled at him then and sat up a little straighter.

  “Can we go for that long ride on your bike now?”

  He took her hand and gently kissed it.

  “Yes. And I’m limiting my kisses to your hand, because if I start kissing you the way I want to, I’ll never stop. It’s probably not a good idea to be here alone, you know. Unchaperoned.”

  They both laughed out loud at his use of Edith’s antiquated term.

  Late that night, Elliott laid on his bed and listened to Judas Priest’s “You've Got Another Thing Comin'” blaring through his earphones. He thought about his day with Mimi and how when they weren’t on the motorcycle, she had opened up more about her biological father and some of the more recent tidbits she’d learned about him from Leslie.

  The journalist had been filling Mimi in on some of the stories she’d been pulling out of Mimi’s mother. Apparently, Leslie hadn’t told Mimi anything since her accident a few weeks ago, but Elliott hadn’t known about that. Today was the first day he’d spent with Mimi in almost a month.

  He shook his head as some of those sordid tales sunk in. He’d definitely heard the name Grizz before and tried not to let Mimi see the recognition on his face when she’d first started confiding in him. Her real father was one bad motherfucker. Good thing he was dead.

  A combination of his dark thoughts and the loud music were starting to make him antsy. He wanted to scream, shout, put his fist through a wall, raise hell. He wanted to do anything but lie in his bed and do nothing.

  He reached for a cell phone on his nightstand and quickly sent a text, smiling at the reply that came back almost immediately.

  He then sent another text. This time to Mimi.

  Did you talk to them? Can I meet them this week?

  Mimi’s reply was almost immediate.

  No. My mom moved out today.

  “Fuck!” he shouted out loud as he threw his phone across the room.

  He sat up quickly and pulled his boots on. He left his room and grabbed his helmet off the chair by the front door.

  He wouldn’t worry about his motorcycle waking up Edith. She slept like the fucking dead.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ginny

  2000, Fort Lauderdale (After the Execution)

  That first time I took Mimi to the shooting range hadn’t been perfect, but it was a start. I shuddered when I learned how much Leslie had been sharing with Mimi. Things I’d shared with the reporter only as a way to help provide a truthful foundation for my real experience. They were never going to be in the article, and they certainly shouldn’t have been told to my fifteen-year-old daughter. I’d been so stupid.

  I surmised from my conversations with Mimi that Leslie had stopped talking to her around the time Grizz beat her up at the prison. This told me Tommy was right. Mimi didn’t know Grizz was Tommy’s father. We would have plenty of time to get to that.

  One thing came as a welcome surprise after that first day together. Mimi started making an effort to spend time with me. It wasn’t easy, because I still had to manage my time equally between running our household, church, work, and volunteering. Tommy and the kids were my first priority, and I didn’t want the new attention I was getting from Mimi to take away from my two best guys, so I told Tommy after that first week that I was giving my clients notice they needed to find somebody else to do their bookkeeping. It might’ve seemed like I was jumping the gun, but I was so excited to have Mimi back in my life on a deeper level that I would’ve done anything to hold onto it.

  Tommy had been standing in front of our dresser adjusting his tie. He couldn’t get it right. I’d noticed he’d been acting differently since the day I’d taken Mimi to the shooting range, the day he’d met Jo for lunch. I figured it was a combination of worrying about the big reveal we’d be making to Mimi, or maybe he was just sad about Sarah Jo’s move. A lot had happened these past months. Grizz’s execution, our separation and reconciliation, his childhood friend’s announcement that she’d be moving out of the country. I was even concerned that maybe he was still upset at my outburst in the kitchen the morning he told me that Mimi knew about Grizz being her biological father.

  Maybe it was all just too much.

  I walked up behind him and tiptoed to peek over his shoulder. I could see his reflection in the mirror over our dresser. He was frowning as he undid and redid his tie for the third time. Something was definitely on his mind because Tommy could put on a necktie with his eyes closed.

  I guided him around to face me and slowly undid the third mess he’d made.

  “What’s bothering you?” I looped the tie gently. “You haven’t been yourself since that day I talked to Mimi. I figured it can’t be her because I’ve noticed a positive change in her attitude with us. I know it’s only been a week, but she seems different somehow. Don’t you think so?” I glanced up to meet his eyes and quickly looked back at his necktie. I could feel his eyes on me as I worked.

  “Things with her have been better than I thought. She still has some attitude, but—”

  “She’s a teenager.”

  He smiled and nodded. “She’s a teenager. Which is what I was going to say if you’d let me finish my sentence.”

  I pulled snugly on the tie and, satisfied with my job, sat down on our bed and looked up at him.

  “I think this week with her has been fabulous since we’ve been trying to set right a secret that she’s been keeping inside for almost three years. She seems almost relieved, Tommy. Like she’s just been holding her breath and finally let it out.”

  “I know that feeling. It’s how I felt at Grizz’s execution.”

  I wanted to look away from him then but wouldn’t let myself. I had to bite the inside of my cheek so I didn’t scoff out loud at the thought of the execution that never happened.

  “You still don’t seem right, though,” I said. “Is it because of what we still need to tell her?”

  “Yeah, it’s that, Gin. But it’s other things, too. Like Leslie using our daughter, and then telling her some of the more serious things that you shared with her in the interview.” He shook his head. “I still don’t know why you ever agreed to give Leslie that stupid interview. You had to know Mimi would’ve been able to read it. That everybody would be able to read it.”

  Intense and immediate anger flared. I jumped up from the bed then and stood inches from his face. My fists were tightly clenched at my sides.

  He stepped back. I wasn’t sure if my anger was because what he was saying was true, or because I was furious with myself for being so gullible. I’d wanted to please Mimi so much that when she told me that she’d eavesdropped on Tommy and me discussing it, I’d let down the carefully constructed walls that had been in place for years. I’d allowed Leslie into that sacred place because I’d felt it would be a connection back to my daughter. Little had I known that Mimi hadn’t eavesdropped on my conversation with Tommy. She’d been goaded into persuading me by Leslie.

  “You know why I did it! And you also know I went into it never intending to tell Leslie some of the things I ended up telling her. We agreed on anonymity and that certain things would be left out.” I paused for effect. “Like the billy-club incident.”

  I felt a small stab of guilt as I watched Tommy cringe.

  “I don’t know why I told her more than I should have,” I added in a calmer tone. I could feel my anger slowly deflating. I looked at Tommy apologetically. “I guess it was kind of therapeutic. Talking about it.”

  He nodded slightly, an indication that my unspoken apology had been accepted and that he understood why I’d agreed to give Leslie th
e interview. We’d had a conversation after my first day at the shooting range with Mimi. I’d told him that evening about my anger toward Leslie and how I’d planned to have a serious discussion with her. Possibly I could even file a complaint with the state press association over her unethical tactics.

  Tommy had convinced me to let it go, saying that Leslie was out of our lives now, and while using our daughter was wrong, we didn’t need to dredge it up. Enough was enough.

  “I’m sorry for bringing it up, Gin,” he said now. “I’m the one who told you to let it go, and then I go and bring it up. I guess I’m just feeling—hell, I don’t know what I’m feeling. I know you’re spending a lot of time with Mimi. I know she’s asking you details, and I’m guessing you’re not holding a lot back.”

  He gave me a questioning look. I shrugged.

  “She’s handling it pretty darn well. I told you I wouldn’t tell her the other thing until we could do it together. It’s not time yet, and I promise you I won’t do it without you,” I said. And I meant it.

  “It’s not that.” He took my hand and seated us both on the edge of the bed. “You’re going to think I’m being ridiculous, Gin. And I am being ridiculous. I’ve always been her father. I guess I’m afraid that when she hears how much you loved Grizz, she’ll look at me differently. I don’t know.” He swiped his hand through his hair. “I can’t explain it. I’m afraid she won’t look at me like she used to. I was her hero up until a few years ago. I was the only man who would lasso the moon for her mother. I wonder if she sees me differently now that she knows I’ve not always been the only man in her mother’s life. That there was somebody before me. And then we’re going to add into the mix that she and I have the same father? I don’t know if I can do it, Gin. I just don’t know.”

  I saw the pain and emotional devastation on his face. He was at war with his feelings, and here I was so excited to have a connection with Mimi when Tommy’s only connection could be shattered when we told her the truth. Did I believe she would be able to handle knowing Tommy was her half-brother? I had to seriously rethink this.

  I swallowed hard and turned to him, and took both his hands in mine.

  “Tommy, maybe we don’t have to tell her. Hearing you say it like that does make me wonder if it’ll do more harm than good. Can we agree that we’ll wait? We have our Thanksgiving cruise coming up and then Christmas. Let’s get to know our daughter again, okay? You had some alone time with her, and now I’m starting to have time with her. How about we start having some together time with her? Would that make you feel any better?”

  “I don’t know, Ginny. I don’t know if I want to see the look on her face when she asks you something about Grizz and you tell her honestly, like we agreed you should. I don’t think I can bear to see her as she mourns the father she’ll never know. I don’t think I can handle it.”

  This surprised me, and I sat back to look at him.

  “What?” He gave me a funny look. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “You already know I’ve been answering her questions all week, right?” He nodded, so I continued. “I was thinking it would be a good idea for the three of us to talk about Grizz. I need your help with something.”

  He raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “What do you need my help with?”

  I sighed and answered Tommy honestly.

  “I need you to help me convince Mimi not to hate the man that she will only refer to as the evil sperm donor.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Tommy

  2000, Fort Lauderdale (After the Execution)

  “So how was last night?” Tommy asked Alec as he walked inside his partner’s office. He shut the door behind him and took the chair in front of Alec’s desk.

  Alec leaned back, his chair giving a small squeak. Ginny’s college friend, Casey, was in town for a while, and Ginny had thought the two should meet. The four of them met for dinner the previous night. After, Alec took Casey out for drinks and dancing, and Tommy took Ginny home.

  “Well?” Tommy grinned. “You have to tell me something. I’m sure Ginny is grilling Casey, and she’ll want to know if you said anything to me. And if I go home and tell my wife you didn’t say anything, I’ll have to hear it that I should’ve asked you. So I’m asking you. Did you have a good time?”

  Alec smiled awkwardly. “Yeah, I had a good time, Tom. Casey is beautiful and smart, and I really enjoyed her company.”

  “Really enjoyed her company, huh? Sounds like dullsville.”

  Alec’s smile faded. “I just don’t think I’m ready, man. I thought I was, otherwise, I wouldn’t have agreed to go. And I’m flattered that Ginny tried to set me up with somebody so gorgeous and successful. I really am. I know Casey has dated NBA players and NASCAR drivers and even some hotshot tech CEO. Honestly, Tom, I think she’s looking to settle down. And I just can’t go there right now. The separation is still too fresh.”

  What Alec didn’t add, couldn’t add, was how the date had ended. He’d walked Casey to her door and bent down to give her a kiss on the cheek. She’d smiled up at him to thank him for a lovely evening, but the words had caught in her throat, and her face grew serious.

  “So how do you intend to handle it?” she asked as they’d stood at her front door.

  The full moon cast a soft glow over them. They could hear the gentle murmuring of an elderly couple as they took a midnight walk with their dog on the sidewalk in front of Casey’s rented townhouse.

  “Handle what?”

  Her reply caught him off guard. “Handle the fact that you’re either already in love with or falling in love with Ginny.”

  Casey’s words had shocked him. She’d invited him in for coffee and politely explained how he probably hadn’t realized it, but he’d spent most of their date talking about how lucky Tommy was and what a good mother Ginny was and did Tommy know what he had.

  Alec swallowed now, fumbling for the right words to say to Tommy. Casey was right. Alec had slowly been falling for Ginny.

  And he realized with a jolt that it had happened long before Paulina had left him. It was all those times they’d spent together with the kids. There were even a few instances when both Paulina and Tommy hadn’t been able to make it to some family function, and he’d been alone with Gin and the children. It had never bordered on inappropriate, but his feelings had been there all along, and he couldn’t deny them. He remembered the recent lunch date with Ginny and how he’d gone home that night and jerked off in the shower while fantasizing about her. The thought of slowly undressing her and what he’d find under that sexy outfit she’d been wearing that day almost undid him.

  But he also knew he wouldn’t allow himself to act on it. He respected Tommy too much. He wouldn’t do to a friend what had been done to him. It was different, but not really.

  He’d made up his mind last night after the conversation with Casey and was at the boys’ school first thing this morning to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem.

  Tommy nodded in understanding. “At least you’re honest about not being ready, man. I appreciate that. Casey’s not just an easy lay. From what Gin’s told me, she’s gone into those relationships looking for more than a good time, but it’s never worked out for her. You could’ve led her on and made her think there could’ve been something more. I’m glad you didn’t. Is she expecting to hear from you again?”

  “I don’t think so. The chemistry just wasn’t there. I’m pretty sure we’re both on the same page.”

  “So are the boys getting excited about the cruise?” Tommy asked as he stood. He knew Ginny would be disappointed to hear Alec and Casey hadn’t ignited any sparks.

  “Yeah, ummm, listen. I need to talk to you about that. Sit back down.” He gestured toward the seat Tommy just vacated.

  “Sounds serious. What’s up?”

  “The kids and I are going to pass on the cruise. I appreciate that you and Ginny invited us to be part of your Thanksgiving holiday, but I think we need to save
it for another time. I—I need some time away, Tom. I’m thinking of taking the boys for a couple of months and heading up to my grandparents’ old cabin in the Carolinas. It’s in the mountains, away from everything and everyone. No phones, no cell reception, no cable or satellite TV. It’ll be good for the kids and me.”

  “Paulina?”

  “Are you asking if I’m leaving because of Paulina, or are you asking if she knows?” Before Tommy could reply, Alec said, “I’m not leaving because of her, and she doesn’t know yet, though I can assure you she won’t care. I’ve already talked to the boys’ teachers and can get advanced assignments. They won’t be penalized and can pick up where they left off when we get back. It’s just been a lot, and I guess having time with a beautiful woman last night and not feeling anything is telling me something. I need to regroup and get my life together. Make a plan for my boys and me. Honestly, Tom, I’m not sure if my future is in South Florida.”

  Tommy hadn’t expected this, but he understood. He was sincere when he’d suggested to Ginny not too long ago that they sell everything and start fresh somewhere.

  “You covered for me when I was going through my shit. I can certainly handle things here for you.”

  “There won’t be much to handle. I’ve got most of my clients wrapped up. I haven’t been taking on anything new, so you’ll only have to deal with your clients. And of course, you’ll have Phil and Brody.” Phil and Brody were junior architects and would easily pick up any slack if needed.