A Gift of Time

by Beth Flynn

  “I guess it’s important to me to know you really love Dad,” Mimi said to me as she motioned toward the man out snorkeling in the crystal clear waters. “I don’t like the thought that he was stuck with us because Grizz commanded it.”

  It had taken some convincing, but I finally was able to persuade her to stop referring to him as the evil sperm donor. I also cautioned her on how it wouldn’t be a good idea to use his name in public. I didn’t have any specific concern, just that the name Grizz might still be recognized in South Florida.

  “I can promise you that your father and I are completely and totally in love, Mimi. I told you the truth when I said I wasn’t totally on board with marrying him at first. I was numb and still very much in love with Grizz, but I did fall in love with your father. I’m still in love with him.”

  “Tell me another good story about Grizz. Tell me something you never told anybody.”

  “Well, your dad knows this story,” I said as I proceeded to tell her about my moonlight dates with Grizz and, in particular, the one at the zoo. I told her about the stuffed gorilla I’d thrown away and the diamond earrings I’d be giving her.

  “He sounded like he was romantic,” she said, making a face. “A murderer with a romantic side. Sounds like it would make a great book.”

  I shot her a glance and could see she was teasing me. I laughed and nodded. It was a start.

  I thought the conversation was over when she said something that surprised me.

  “I know you don’t want me to hate him, Mom. I guess I don’t. I mean, how can I hate someone I never knew? Never will know. I almost wish I’d told you and Dad I knew when I found out. I’d tried to hint at it that time you sat me down when they found that lady’s bones. You and Dad told me a little bit about your past, and I told you it was the coolest thing I’d ever heard. I guess that was my way of hoping you’d tell me more.”

  She looked at me with expectant eyes.

  “I’m sorry your father and I didn’t take the hint. It just didn’t seem like the right time, Mimi,” I answered honestly.

  She nodded. “Now that I’m talking to you about it and not getting horrible secondhand stories from Leslie, it’s made me more curious. Is it wrong of me to regret that I never got to meet him?”

  How could I even begin to answer this question? We’d kept her away from the truth because of all the awful things Grizz had done. I was now lying on the beach trying to convince my daughter she shouldn’t hate the man who was her biological father, and now that she was telling me she wished she could’ve met him, I was back paddling in my thoughts.

  I answered her with the truth. “I don’t know, Mimi. I honestly don’t know if meeting him would’ve been good for either of you.”

  Even though I was wearing sunglasses, I put my hand to my brow to gauge her reaction. The sun was brilliant, and I wanted to see the expression on her face.

  She sat up a little and leaned on one elbow, facing me. A gentle breeze carried her scent past me. I could smell coconut sunscreen and something fruity. I sat up, too, cross-legged.

  “I looked him up once, you know?”

  “No, I didn’t know that.”

  “There’s not a lot about him, Mom. There wasn’t even anything on the news or in the newspapers when he died. I find that a little hard to believe, don’t you?”

  The question caught me off-guard as I realized she was right. There had been no major announcements about Grizz’s execution. I remembered Jason’s friend, Corbin, had told him Tommy and I went away that weekend to see some guy get fried. Tommy and I had skirted around that with Jason. We knew Moe’s remains being found in 1999 had gotten a little press, and apparently some nosy local friends, including Corbin’s parents, had dug in a little deeper. It didn’t surprise me. I did seek out Corbin’s mother and politely asked her to keep her thoughts to herself. Surprisingly, she apologized. I wondered if she’d found out just enough about my past to frighten her.

  “No. I don’t find it hard to believe, Mimi. People die on death row all the time. How many have you heard about?”

  “None. But he sounded like a big deal. I guess I thought it might’ve gotten some notice.”

  “I can see why you would think that.” I made little swirls in the sand with my fingers. She had a point. “Maybe there’s another reason. He was a powerful man. Even from behind bars. I guess he paid people off. He was quite wealthy, you know. You should probably know you are quite wealthy.”

  “I already know I own Aunt Carter and Uncle Bill’s house,” she told me sheepishly. “I saw the deed in your safe.”

  I sighed. “Well, you own more than their house.” Why did I just say that? How smart was it to let a fifteen-year-old know how rich she was? I was mentally kicking myself for bringing up Grizz’s wealth, but Mimi passed right over the subject.

  “I think it’s why Leslie came to me, Mom.” She faced me, tanned legs curled beneath her.

  “What is why Leslie came to you?”

  “The fact that there wasn’t anything about him anywhere. She couldn’t get any background on him, and I knew she was right because I tried and I only found one article.”

  “What do you mean?” This was curious.

  “There is very little information on him. Very little. I found a mug shot once on the Internet. When I went back to look it up again, it was gone. I even tried the old microfiche machines at the libraries, and they not only didn’t have anything on him, but entire years were missing. I guess they didn’t keep up with them as well as they should have.”

  “You said you found one article. Where did you find it?” She had my attention now.

  “When my class went to Disney World in Orlando, we had to spend one day doing something educational, so I suggested we go to their county library. I found an article about him on their microfiche from 1985. It was just one article, and it had a picture of him. I told Leslie about it, and she had them copy it and send it to her.”

  “What did you read?” Did I want to know?

  “Just that he’d been arrested for kidnapping but would face other charges. Your name wasn’t mentioned or anything, Mom. It must’ve been when he was first arrested. There was even a picture of him that didn’t look anything like the mug shot. He looked kind of like a hippie.”

  I smiled and looked down. If there was one thing Grizz was not, it was a hippie. She had probably seen an earlier picture of him with his long hair.

  I looked up and started to say something when I noticed a single tear running down her cheek. Her bottom lip was quivering.

  “Mimi?”

  “I’m so sorry, Mom.” She reached for me. I pulled her toward me as she scooted closer. “I’m so sorry for tricking you both into that interview with Leslie.”

  I patted her back and tried to reassure her. “It’s okay, Mimi. It’s really okay.”

  “No, it’s not! Don’t pretend like what I did was okay.”

  She pulled back from me and wiped her eyes, hiccupping.

  “Everything you’ve been telling me these past weeks was about how much he loved you and how much he tried to protect you. I ruined it. I know Leslie’s article never got printed, but you and him and Dad were willing to risk exposure because of me. It’s true, Mom. I used his love for you to make him think I was you on the phone, and I guilted him into giving Leslie that interview.”

  “Mimi—”

  “And I made you think I wanted to bond with you over you coming clean about your past by talking to Leslie. I’d known the truth about some of it. I’d read that article in Orlando. I’d looked up his mug shot that time. Plus, based on what you and Dad told me when that lady’s skeleton was found last year, I knew you had a past you were ashamed of, and I wanted to hurt you for not telling me who my real father was. For keeping secrets.”

  She started sobbing heavily, and I began rocking her back and forth, trying to soothe her.

  “Mimi, I’m a grown woman. I knew what I was doing when I gave Leslie those interview
s. Maybe subconsciously I wanted to get it all out. I can’t be sure. I do know I wasn’t worried about being exposed. That article was going to be truthful about certain events, but ambiguous on facts like names, dates, cities. And it was for a major publication. Not a little hometown story that people might’ve remembered. It could’ve been about any prisoner on death row in any state during any given year. It wasn’t tied directly to Grizz.”

  “But people could’ve started digging, Mom. If someone did their homework, they could link it back to you. That’s what I was hoping would happen. Somebody would come knocking on your door and show the world you weren’t perfect. I wanted to hurt you and Dad for keeping a secret from me. I’m—I’m so sorry.”

  “I guess you’re right, sweetie. Somebody could’ve figured it out and shown up. But they won’t.” I took her face in my hands. “I guess it’s by the grace of God that we don’t have to worry about that now. Besides, you told me yourself how hard it was to find details about him. Right?”

  Mimi nodded and said, “There’s more.”

  I tilted my head.

  “I told Elliott some of it. I just needed to confide in somebody. He knows my biological father died on death row this summer. But he won’t tell, Mom. I know he’d never tell.”

  “Well, if he’s as special as you say he is, and I think he might be,” I winked at her, “then I’m sure he’d be willing to keep this secret for you.”

  “Oh, he would, Mom. He’s so good to me and wonderful and kind and understanding.”

  She was bouncing now, and I realized her burden had just become lighter. So had mine.

  We reapplied our sunscreen and lay back down. The sound of Tommy and Jason splashing in the distance brought a contentment that settled over me like a warm blanket. I could hear seagulls and was enjoying the sounds and smells of our little hideaway when I sensed movement to my left.

  I peeked at Mimi and noticed she was back up on her elbow, facing me. I started to ask her if there was something else she wanted to talk about, but she beat me to it.

  “So, Mom.” She grinned. “How old were you when you first had sex, and what was it like?”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Mimi

  2000, Fort Lauderdale (After the Execution)

  “Why do I think I missed you more than you missed me?” Elliott asked Mimi, smiling over at her as they made their way toward Ft. Lauderdale beach.

  “Are you serious?” Mimi squeezed his arm. “The cruise was really nice and we stayed busy, but sometimes it just dragged. Seven days felt like seven years! I couldn’t wait to get home and see you, and it felt so good to have you come to my house to pick me up. My dad freaked over this truck.” She smoothed her hand over the old but pristine seat, then scooted closer to Elliott. He pulled her close, planting a kiss on her temple.

  “Well, I wanted to take you someplace nice for dinner, and I didn’t want to do it on my bike. You sure you don’t mind if we pop in to check on Edith first?”

  “Of course not. I love your grandmother. But aren’t we heading in the wrong direction?” Mimi glanced out the window as they made their way east on Commercial Boulevard.

  “Edith has a timeshare she uses every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s her little getaway with her friends. They sit on the beach all day and play shuffleboard or cards or whatever it is grandmothers do.” He laughed. “I promise we won’t stay long. She forgot some of her medicine. We’ll just do a quick drop-off and leave, okay?”

  “Sure! So you’re staying at your house all by yourself?”

  Elliott eyed her knowingly and gulped. “Yeah, I’m there all by myself.”

  “Are we going there after dinner?” She forced herself to keep her tone light, to look straight ahead at the road.

  He shot her a glance. “Only if you want to, Mimi. You know I want to be with you, but I wouldn’t ever want to force you into doing something you don’t want to do. I’ll never do something you’re not ready for.”

  “I talked to my mom about it,” she said shyly.

  “You what?”

  “I talked to my mom. I asked her how old she was her first time, and I asked her what it was like.”

  “Was it with your real dad? The one who died?”

  “Believe it or not, no. It was with Dad. The dad you met. The one she’s married to now. But I don’t want to go into it. It’s messed up.”

  He exhaled sharply. “Ugh, why did you have to ask her about sex? Every time I take you out she’s going to be thinking we’re doing it. Shit, she may even be thinking that tonight!” His tone was laced with worry.

  “She’s not thinking that. I promise you. I told her I wasn’t ready and promised I would go to her before anything happens.”

  “And that was it? She believed you?”

  “Of course she believed me. Besides, it’s true. We’ve only kissed, Elliott. I’m not sure I’m ready to go any further. I told you before that it was important to me to wait until I’m married.”

  Elliott had to tamp down his anger. Why the hell was she asking if they’d be going back to Edith’s vacant house later if she wasn’t willing? Little cock tease. She’d be changing her mind. Of that he was certain.

  **********

  Across town, Christian Bear sat on the end of his friend’s bed and watched him do pushups on the bedroom floor. When Dustin was finished, he got up and walked over to his dresser, picked up a beer, and took a swig. He swiped his arm across his mouth and turned to Christian.

  “Heard you’ve been hanging out with those losers from Sandpiper High.”

  “Yeah,” was all Christian said before taking a sip of his own beer.

  “Why? They’re a bunch of punks. You’ve downgraded, bro.”

  “They entertain me,” Christian said. “I’m bored and they amuse me.”

  “And Rosman isn’t freaking out? He likes being their fearless leader even if he has graduated. Seems like he’d feel threatened by having a badass like you around, Chris.”

  “I ain’t seen Nick yet, and when I do, I could care less what he thinks.”

  Christian couldn’t tell Dustin the real reason he’d insinuated himself into their group. He’d been trying to find out for the last week what their connection was to Mimi. When the big mouth of the pathetic trio told him Nick, whose full name was Elliott Nicholas Rosman, was doing something big to get the notice of some local gangs, Christian knew it must’ve had something to do with Mimi. It was just too much of a coincidence that Nick and Mimi were dating—and that Mimi’s real father had died in prison this past summer.

  Christian knew about Grizz. His father, Anthony, was always forthcoming about his past. A past that included Mimi’s real father.

  Of course, both of Anthony’s sons knew to keep whatever tales their father shared to themselves.

  Christian had displayed just enough disinterest with Rosman’s three friends that it made them want to tell him more. Christian had a reputation for being a bad boy, and asshats like these three were always trying to get his attention to make themselves look more important than they actually were. Christian had casually told them he wanted in if they could deliver. Their immature egos fell for the little bit of interest he’d shown, and they’d been practically doing backflips to impress him since.

  Christian’s phone vibrated, and he reached into his back pocket.

  Tonight at 8. Blue Moon condos on beach. #907

  After reading the text message, Christian snapped his phone shut and told Dustin, “Later, man.”

  He ran out the front door and jumped on his motorcycle. Less than a minute later, he was back in his friend’s room.

  “My bike won’t start so I need your car keys.” He held out his hand. “C’mon, give ’em to me.”

  “Can’t you fix your bike?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t have time. Give me your fuckin’ keys, Dustin.”

  “I don’t know if my parents’ insurance will cover you. I’m not letting you take my car. I
’ll drive you home so you can get your truck.”

  “It’s an emergency!” Christian yelled. “And I drive better than you do! Give me your keys!”

  Dustin reluctantly turned over his keys, and Christian raced out.

  “You better have it back here tonight, Chris,” he yelled after his friend. “I fucking mean it!”

  **********

  Less than ten minutes later, Christian Bear found himself in the back of a police cruiser with his hands cuffed behind his back. He’d been pulled over for speeding. The cop probably would’ve let him call his parents or the friend whose car he borrowed, but Christian’s attitude sealed his fate. He was too much like his father.

  “Shut the hell up about your phone call,” the cop yelled over his shoulder as he drove. “You can make your call from the station.”

  Slade Bear had just washed his hands and was coming out of the men’s room at a sports bar when his cell phone rang. It was his younger brother, Christian.

  “What’s up, Chri—”

  “Slade! You need to listen to me. I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing, but you have to do something right now for me. It’s important, man. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t.”

  Slade held the phone tight against his right ear and used his left hand to cover his other ear. The bar was loud. He walked back toward the restroom. Christian wasn’t one to ask for favors. Something was up.

  “Yeah. Sure, Chris. I can help you out. What’s up?”

  “You know that big-ass condo on Commercial and the beach, the Blue Moon?”

  “No.”

  “Yes, you do!” Christian yelled. “It’s the one where Mom dragged us to somebody’s kid’s Bar Mitzvah a couple of years ago. Remember the big ballroom with the glitter that was still in our hair a week later?”