A Gift of Time

by Beth Flynn

  “Cold feet? Never. Doubts? Yes. Not about her. Doubts about myself.”

  “What kind of doubts about yourself?”

  “C’mon, Preacher. You know my story. You know what I’m capable of.” His lip curled.

  “I know I’ve heard stories about who you were. About Grizz.”

  “That’s just it.” Grizz sighed. “I’ll always be Grizz. Right now, at this moment, I believe I’ve changed. But I don’t know how long I’ll believe it, Preacher. I still get called to that old life. Sometimes it’s something as simple as the sound of bike pipes or hearing a certain song, and I feel a pull. At this moment, I’m content to leave it behind, but what if it rears its ugly head down the road? I don’t know if I can resist, and if I can’t, I don’t know what that’ll do to Ginny.”

  Micah looked thoughtful.

  “Do you know I think about having a nip of moonshine every single day?”

  Grizz shook his head.

  “Yep. Every single day I could probably come up with a reason to have a drink. But I don’t. It’s your choice, Jamison. Simple as that. It’s a deliberate choice. And I’m going to give credit where credit is due. My faith gives me strength.”

  Just then, Aunt Tillie began playing the wedding march on the church organ. Their conversation ceased, and Grizz looked toward the front of the church. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her as Jason and Mimi walked their mother down the aisle. He swallowed thickly as he realized he’d never thought she looked more beautiful.

  He wanted to do right by this woman. Please, God, let me do right by her, he thought, then realized talking to God was starting to become a habit. Well, that is, if you considered doing something twice a habit.

  Mimi was Ginny’s maid of honor, and Jason served as Grizz’s best man. Before Grizz realized it, the ceremony was over. It had been a blur.

  “You may now kiss your bride,” Micah told him.

  A moment passed. Micah gave a subtle cough. “You may now kiss your bride. That would be you, Jamison.”

  Grizz realized with a start that he’d gotten through the ceremony never taking his eyes off Ginny’s. Even when he’d slid the ring on her finger, he’d done it by feel, not wanting to break from her gaze. He was now legally wed to her, and Micah was telling him it was time to seal their vows with a kiss.

  “I hope it’s a better kiss than the one you gave her under the mistletoe,” Jason’s voice chimed in, and they all laughed.

  **********

  Instead of a reception, the six of them went back to Aunt Tillie’s house and ate a feast fit for a king. Aunt Tillie sure knew how to lay out a spread.

  Micah took the children back to his house while Ginny and Grizz changed into comfortable clothes and headed for the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. They’d rented a cabin nestled in the woods just beyond the Cherokee Indian Reservation. Micah told them that if they got bored, there were plenty of things to do on the reservation. Grizz informed him privately that they wouldn’t be bored, and it was a good thing the cabin was stocked, because he could personally guarantee they wouldn’t be leaving the cabin until it was time to get in the car and drive back to Micah’s.

  It was dusk when they finally arrived. Grizz carried their small overnight bags. Ginny grabbed her toiletry and tote bag.

  He had carried their belongings into the bedroom and laid them down on the bed. Walking back out to the living room, he looked at his bride, who had her arms wrapped around herself.

  “Are you cold, baby? Do you want me to build a fire?”

  “It is chilly in here, Grizz. Yes, a fire would be really nice.”

  She watched him walk toward the fireplace, and she suddenly felt shy. There was nothing stopping them now. What if it wasn’t as wonderful as she remembered? Worse yet, what if it wasn’t as wonderful as he remembered?

  She was no longer the twenty-something-year-old she’d been when he was arrested in 1985. She pulled her coat tighter and looked at him. He was squatting in front of the fireplace, jostling the logs with a poker. He was the same Grizz she remembered. He’d already taken off his coat, revealing his outfit of choice was still jeans, a sleeveless T-shirt, and biker boots. His long, thick hair had grown out way past his shoulders. The butterflies in her stomach made their way up to her chest. She could feel them tickling her insides, and her knees felt slightly wobbly.

  She cleared her throat, and her voice came out hoarse.

  “Umm, I didn’t know I was going to be on my honeymoon this weekend. I’m afraid I don’t have anything special to wear for you tonight. There just wasn’t enough time to shop for something.”

  He turned around and saw the uncertainty in her eyes. She looked at him with a hopeful expectancy that brought back memories so fierce he felt the weight of them filling up his chest. She had the same look as she did when she’d first led him back to his bedroom in the motel in 1975. A look that said that she wanted to please him but wasn’t sure how to do it. His woman.

  How could she ever doubt herself?

  He stood and gave her a half-smile. “It doesn’t matter, Kitten, because I can promise you wouldn’t be wearing it for long.”

  She ran to him then and jumped. He caught her in his arms and kissed her as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. He let her down slowly, never taking his mouth from hers.

  The need to rip each other’s clothes off was overpowering, and they had to will themselves to take it slow. She shrugged out of her coat while simultaneously kicking her boots off. He started to pull his T-shirt over his head when she stopped him.

  “No, let me.”

  They shared a laugh when he had to bend low enough for her to help him out of it.

  “Forgot I needed a stepstool.”

  “We won’t be vertical for much longer, Kit,” he practically growled, the need in his voice now evident.

  She reached for his belt when he stopped her. Slowly, painfully slowly, he started to unbutton her blouse. And when it slipped off her right shoulder, his mouth found the spot between her neck and bra strap. She moaned, leaned into him.

  They both went down on their knees then, and he gently laid her back on the plush animal skin rug. Its softness swallowed her up as she gazed at him, her want threatening to overwhelm her. Neither one remembered who removed what, but they were now completely nude, and he was on top of her and kissing her, only breaking away long enough to look into her face.

  “I love you, Ginny. I’ve always loved you.”

  She smiled. “I love you, too.”

  Then she grabbed him hard by his hair and pulled his face to hers, inviting his deep, sensual kiss. She could feel his hardness between her legs and tried to maneuver his entrance, but he stopped her. After a moment, she opened her eyes and realized that he was slowly pulling back from her. Crouching, he swiped a hand through his long hair.

  “What are you doing?” she asked him breathlessly.

  She felt her hands unconsciously move to cover her breasts. He reached out and grabbed them, pinning them to her sides.

  “Don’t, Kit. Don’t hide from me.”

  “Well, you’re making me a little nervous.” She gave a little laugh, heart pounding.

  “Can’t I just look at you for a minute? Damn, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

  His eyes roamed over her breasts, saw they were larger, fuller, and the color of her nipples had changed. Slightly darker than he remembered. He almost came just looking at them. The completely flat stomach she’d had before giving birth now had a small rise that showed faint stretch marks, and her hips seemed a little wider. He loved every single thing he saw, and he set about letting her know it by kissing her everywhere, lingering for a long time at each breast. He couldn’t get enough of them and reluctantly broke away when he caught her scent making its way up between them.

  When he finally made his way down between her legs, she grabbed him again by his hair and told him in a voice that didn’t sound like her own, “Not yet. I can’t wait anymore, Grizz
. I need you inside me now.”

  “You were always so impatient in bed,” he said with a smile. “I can smell you, baby. It’s driving me insane. Just one taste, okay?”

  How could she say no? She let him have his taste, and her orgasm was swift and powerful. He was now up on all fours, looking down at her. He started to lower himself when she used the softness of the fur rug to slide herself down between his legs.

  Taking his hardness in her right hand, she lifted her mouth and tasted the saltiness that had seeped out of him.

  “Oh, baby, what are you doing?” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

  “My turn,” she managed to say as she leaned up on one elbow and took him into her mouth. When she could feel him getting close to his release she purposely stopped and teased him with her tongue. When he finally couldn’t take it anymore, he roughly slid her back into position and lowered himself between her legs.

  He was getting ready to push himself inside her when he stopped. Supporting himself on both elbows, he looked down at her. She looked worried.

  “Kit?”

  She swallowed and told him somewhat shyly, “It’s been a long time for me. I’m not sure how it’ll feel. I’m thinking maybe it might hurt a little. Can you go slow at first?”

  He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath, waiting for an answer, thinking somewhere in the back of his mind that maybe she’d changed her mind. He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her.

  “Of course, I’ll go slow, baby. I’ll never hurt you. I promise.”

  He never took his eyes from hers as he slowly and carefully sought entrance to what he’d thought about every single day since losing her over fifteen years ago. His hair was now falling down on both sides of his face, blocking out any light or outside distractions. It provided a small canopy as they found themselves as one for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

  Never taking their eyes from each other, he slowly moved inside her. When he had gained full entrance, he looked at her for a signal that it was okay to continue. Her answer was to moan and wrap her legs around him, using them to pull him deeper and encouraging his thrusts.

  After, they were silent. The crackling and popping of the fire were the only sounds other than their heavy breathing. The sun had set, and in their haste to unload the car and be together, they’d never turned on any lights. The glow from the fire was all that illuminated them.

  “Was it as good as you remembered?” Ginny snuggled into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

  “No,” he said gruffly.

  He leaned up on his elbow and softly stroked her cheek. A smile lit his face. “It’s so much fucking better.” After a brief pause, he quietly added, "You're my world, Ginny. You know that, right?" Before she could reply, he corrected himself. "I take that back. Mimi and Jason are my world."

  She gave him a questioning look, and he glanced at her lips, then her eyes. "The kids are my world, but you're my universe."

  His lips found hers, and when he broke the kiss, he saw a sadness in her eyes. Before he could ask her if something was wrong, she whispered, "I wore it once.”

  “Wore what, baby?” His voice was husky.

  “The bandana.”

  “I know, Kitten. Carter paged me.”

  “No. I mean before that. I wore it the same day I realized you were alive.” She swallowed before continuing. “I wore it behind closed doors, so nobody would see it. I guess I wore it for myself.”

  He didn’t know why she was telling him this, but he could sense the pain in her voice.

  “Don’t go there, honey. He would’ve understood. I know I would have.”

  Ginny had mistakenly thought their short honeymoon would be nothing but non-stop sex for two straight days, but she’d been wrong. As much as Grizz wanted to spend the majority of his time making love to his bride, he was very aware of the fact that too much too soon might be uncomfortable for her. It wasn’t easy, but he paced himself, and they found themselves falling back into the comfortable and happy camaraderie they’d shared in the early years of their first marriage.

  “I don’t know why you won’t let me do it. I used to do it all the time for you,” she told him as she sat on the edge of the whirlpool tub, watching him trim his beard.

  Without looking at her, he said, “How about because nine times out of ten, you’d mess it up, and I had to shave the whole damn thing off. And don’t tell me that sometimes you didn’t do it on purpose, Kit.”

  She didn’t say anything, and he looked over. She smiled at him and shrugged her shoulders.

  “You said not to tell you, so I’m not saying anything.”

  “Son-of-a-bitch, it was on purpose!” He started laughing. “If you hate it that much, honey, I’ll shave it off.”

  “I don’t hate it, Grizz, I just think it would be nice to see your face clean-shaven once in a while. That’s all.”

  She stood up and kissed his shoulder. “I’m going to see what we have left in the way of food.”

  A few minutes later, she called out to him, “Hey, I just noticed a CD player. I didn’t know the cabin had a sound system. And I can load up to six CDs. We could’ve been listening to my CDs this whole time!”

  “Didn’t notice it,” he yelled back.

  He walked out of the bathroom ten minutes later. It was obvious she’d gone to the car to get her CDs. Music was coming through the sound system, and he could hear “Baby, I Love You,” by The Ronettes. He smiled when he realized he still recognized some of her music.

  She had her back to him as she stood at the small kitchen stove.

  “What are you cooking?”

  She turned around then. “Grilled chee—. You shaved it all off!”

  She stepped to him and stood on her tiptoes to reach his face, rubbing the smoothness with both her palms. He bent low then to kiss her.

  “Did you turn off the stove?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “Good.” He scooped her up in one swift movement and carried her into the bedroom.

  A short while later they were physically spent and lying in each other’s arms when Grizz decided it was finally time to tell her about the woman he’d met last year in Louisiana. He should’ve done it sooner, but the time never felt right.

  “And you’re sure, you’re positive it was my twin sister?” she asked him, doubt in her expression. She wouldn’t allow herself to get too worked up. The chances of this woman being her twin were pretty slim.

  Grizz explained his encounter in further detail. He told her he hadn’t seen Delia’s note in years and was only going by memory.

  “I feel kind of bad for not giving that Bible to you sooner, Ginny. Guido had been holding onto it, and honestly, I forgot about it until he reminded me he still had it right before the execution. I told him to keep it just a little longer, then deliver it to Carter’s.”

  He asked her to recount the facts she remembered from Delia’s note, and after comparing them to his chance encounter with Jodi, he said, “I was sitting at that lunch counter trying to figure out a way for the two of you to meet when I saw on the television that Tommy had been shot. And even though I left for Florida immediately, well, you know I kept my distance from you. There just didn’t seem like a right time to tell you about her.”

  “It’s okay, Grizz. You’re right. This past year has been—well, let’s just say it’s been a year of too many changes to count. Thinking my sister might still be alive would’ve felt like too much. Thank you for telling me now, though.”

  They talked a little more about what they thought the easiest and least disruptive way would be for Ginny to meet the woman who may or may not have been her twin.

  But as excited as she was at the possibility, she was more than a little anxious for them to get back to Florida and start making preparations for their future. She would make time to meet Jodi and see for herself, but not until after they figured out their plan.

  Grizz soon found himself sitting up,
his back against the rustic headboard. She was standing on the bed, straddling his face and pushing herself against his tongue. Her arms were braced against the wall she was facing. Her knees almost buckled when she came, but he caught her and slowly lowered her onto his erection.

  After, underneath the covers with her head on his chest, her hand tenderly rubbing his flat stomach, their voices were whispers.

  “I’m so glad I found that CD player, aren’t you?” She sighed as music from the other room floated into the bedroom.

  “What’s the name of this song, honey?”

  “It’s called ‘Baby, I Love Your Way.’ Peter Frampton sings it.” She snuggled closer. “Do you like it?”

  “Not really. But I like the lyrics. They remind me of you.”

  “Isn’t it nice making love to music that we used to listen to? Music that we used to make love to? And I bet I have some bands in there you haven’t even heard before.”

  He didn’t answer so she looked at him. “Grizz?”

  “What, baby?”

  “Didn’t you hear me?”

  “No. I’m sorry. I was just thinking.”

  “What were you thinking about?”

  “I was just thinking that after all these years—”

  She leaned up on her elbow and looked at him expectantly. “After all these years, what?”

  “That after all these years, your taste in music still sucks.”

  Chapter Sixty-Five

  Ginny

  2002, Fort Lauderdale

  It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to Micah and Aunt Tillie, but they knew we’d already extended our mini vacation, and the kids needed to get back to school. Besides, we would be back.

  Before leaving the mountains, I’d confided in my new father-in-law that I was uncertain about Grizz’s revelation concerning my twin sister and wasn’t sure what to do about it. Especially when I wasn’t really letting myself believe it. Our transition seemed complicated enough without adding an unlikely unknown. And truth be told, my emotions were at war. One minute, I could feel the pull to hop on a plane and go check it out for myself, but then reason would weigh in telling me I’d spent my entire life without knowing her. If it was true, a few more months wouldn’t matter.