Oz, The Complete Collection

by L. Frank Baum

  First, they pushed in a big red ball and three of the rabbit jugglers stood upon its top and made it roll. Then two of them caught up a third and tossed him into the air, all vanishing, until only the two were left. Then one of these tossed the other upward and remained alone of all his fellows. This last juggler now touched the red ball, which fell apart, being hollow, and the five rabbits who had disappeared in the air scrambled out of the hollow ball.

  Next they all clung together and rolled swiftly upon the floor. When they came to a stop only one fat rabbit juggler was seen, the others seeming to be inside him. This one leaped lightly into the air and when he came down he exploded and separated into the original six. Then four of them rolled themselves into round balls and the other two tossed them around and played ball with them.

  These were but a few of the tricks the rabbit jugglers performed, and they were so skillful that all the nobility and even the King applauded as loudly as did Dorothy.

  “I suppose there are no rabbit jugglers in all the world to compare with these,” remarked the King. “And since I may not have the Whiskers Friskers or my Bodyguard, you might ask Glinda to let me take away just two or three of these jugglers. Will you?”

  “I’ll ask her,” replied Dorothy, doubtfully.

  “Thank you,” said the King; “thank you very much. And now you shall listen to the Winsome Waggish Warblers, who have often cheered me in my moments of anguish.”

  The Winsome Waggish Warblers proved to be a quartette of rabbit singers, two gentlemen and two lady rabbits. The gentlemen Warblers wore full-dress swallow-tailed suits of white satin, with pearls for buttons, while the lady Warblers were gowned in white satin dresses with long trails.

  The first song they sang began in this way:

  “When a rabbit gets a habit

  Of living in a city

  And wearing clothes and furbelows

  And jewels rare and pretty,

  He scorns the Bun who has to run

  And burrow in the ground

  And pities those whose watchful foes

  Are man and gun and hound.”

  Dorothy looked at the King when she heard this song and noticed that he seemed disturbed and ill at ease.

  “I don’t like that song,” he said to the Warblers. “Give us something jolly and rollicking.”

  So they sang to a joyous, tinkling melody as follows:

  “Bunnies gay

  Delight to play

  In their fairy town secure;

  Ev’ry frisker

  Flirts his whisker

  At a pink-eyed girl demure.

  Ev’ry maid

  In silk arrayed

  At her partner shyly glances,

  Paws are grasped,

  Waists are clasped

  As they whirl in giddy dances.

  Then together

  Through the heather

  ’Neath the moonlight soft they stroll;

  Each is very

  Blithe and merry,

  Gamboling with laughter droll.

  Life is fun

  To ev’ry one

  Guarded by our magic charm

  For to dangers

  We are strangers,

  Safe from any thought of harm.”

  “You see,” said Dorothy to the King, when the song ended, “the rabbits all seem to like Bunnybury except you. And I guess you’re the only one that ever has cried or was unhappy and wanted to get back to your muddy hole in the ground.”

  His Majesty seemed thoughtful, and while the servants passed around glasses of nectar and plates of frosted cakes their King was silent and a bit nervous.

  When the refreshments had been enjoyed by all and the servants had retired Dorothy said:

  “I must go now, for it’s getting late and I’m lost. I’ve got to find the Wizard and Aunt Em and Uncle Henry and all the rest sometime before night comes, if I poss’bly can.”

  “Won’t you stay with us?” asked the King. “You will be very welcome.”

  “No, thank you,” she replied. “I must get back to my friends. And I want to see Glinda just as soon as I can, you know.”

  So the King dismissed his court and said he would himself walk with Dorothy to the gate. He did not weep nor groan any more, but his long face was quite solemn and his big ears hung dejectedly on each side of it. He still wore his crown and his ermine and walked with a handsome gold-headed cane.

  When they arrived at the room in the wall the little girl found Toto and Billina waiting for her very patiently. They had been liberally fed by some of the attendants and were in no hurry to leave such comfortable quarters.

  The Keeper of the Wicket was by this time back in his old place, but he kept a safe distance from Toto. Dorothy bade good-bye to the King as they stood just inside the wall.

  “You’ve been good to me,” she said, “and I thank you ever so much. As soon as poss’ble I’ll see Glinda and ask her to put another King in your place and send you back into the wild forest. And I’ll ask her to let you keep some of your clothes and the lily chair and one or two jugglers to amuse you. I’m sure she will do it, ’cause she’s so kind she doesn’t like any one to be unhappy.”

  “Ahem!” said the King, looking rather downcast. “I don’t like to trouble you with my misery; so you needn’t see Glinda.”

  “Oh, yes I will,” she replied. “It won’t be any trouble at all.”

  “But, my dear,” continued the King, in an embarrassed way, “I’ve been thinking the subject over carefully, and I find there are a lot of pleasant things here in Bunnybury that I would miss if I went away. So perhaps I’d better stay.”

  Dorothy laughed. Then she looked grave.

  “It won’t do for you to be a King and a cry-baby at the same time,” she said. “You’ve been making all the other rabbits unhappy and discontented with your howls about being so miserable. So I guess it’s better to have another King.”

  “Oh, no indeed!” exclaimed the King, earnestly. “If you won’t say anything to Glinda I’ll promise to be merry and gay all the time, and never cry or wail again.”

  “Honor bright?” she asked.

  “On the royal word of a King I promise it!” he answered.

  “All right,” said Dorothy. “You’d be a reg’lar lunatic to want to leave Bunnybury for a wild life in the forest, and I’m sure any rabbit outside the city would be glad to take your place.”

  “Forget it, my dear; forget all my foolishness,” pleaded the King, earnestly. “Hereafter I’ll try to enjoy myself and do my duty by my subjects.”

  So then she left him and entered through the little door into the room in the wall, where she grew gradually bigger and bigger until she had resumed her natural size.

  The Keeper of the Wicket let them out into the forest and told Dorothy that she had been of great service to Bunnybury because she had brought their dismal King to a realization of the pleasure of ruling so beautiful a city.

  “I shall start a petition to have your statue erected beside Glinda’s in the public square,” said the Keeper. “I hope you will come again, some day, and see it.”

  “Perhaps I shall,” she replied.

  Then, followed by Toto and Billina, she walked away from the high marble wall and started back along the narrow path toward the sign-post.

  Chapter 22

  HOW the WIZARD FOUND DOROTHY

  hen they came to the signpost, there, to their joy, were the tents of the Wizard pitched beside the path and the kettle bubbling merrily over the fire. The Shaggy Man and Omby Amby were gathering firewood while Uncle Henry and Aunt Em sat in their camp chairs talking with the Wizard.

  They all ran forward to greet Dorothy, as she approached, and Aunt Em exclaimed: “Goodness gracious, child! Where have you been?”

  “You’ve played hookey the whole day,” added the Shaggy Man, reproachfully.

  “Well, you see, I’ve been lost,” explained the little girl, “and I’ve tried awful hard to find the way back to y
ou, but just couldn’t do it.”

  “Did you wander in the forest all day?” asked Uncle Henry.

  “You must be a’most starved!” said Aunt Em.

  “No,” said Dorothy, “I’m not hungry. I had a wheelbarrow and a piano for breakfast, and lunched with a King.”

  “Ah!” exclaimed the Wizard, nodding with a bright smile. “So you’ve been having adventures again.”

  “She’s stark crazy!” cried Aunt Em. “Whoever heard of eating a wheelbarrow?”

  “It wasn’t very big,” said Dorothy; “and it had a zuzu wheel.”

  “And I ate the crumbs,” said Billina, soberly.

  “Sit down and tell us about it,” begged the Wizard. “We’ve hunted for you all day, and at last I noticed your footsteps in this path—and the tracks of Billina. We found the path by accident, and seeing it only led to two places I decided you were at either one or the other of those places. So we made camp and waited for you to return. And now, Dorothy, tell us where you have been—to Bunbury or to Bunnybury?”

  “Why, I’ve been to both,” she replied; “but first I went to Utensia, which isn’t on any path at all.”

  She then sat down and related the day’s adventures, and you may be sure Aunt Em and Uncle Henry were much astonished at the story.

  “But after seeing the Cuttenclips and the Fuddles,” remarked her uncle, “we ought not to wonder at anything in this strange country.”

  “Seems like the only common and ordinary folks here are ourselves,” rejoined Aunt Em, diffidently.

  “Now that we’re together again, and one reunited party,” observed the Shaggy Man, “what are we to do next?”

  “Have some supper and a night’s rest,” answered the Wizard promptly, “and then proceed upon our journey.”

  “Where to?” asked the Captain General.

  “We haven’t visited the Rigmaroles or the Flutterbudgets yet,” said Dorothy. “I’d like to see them—wouldn’t you?”

  “They don’t sound very interesting,” objected Aunt Em. “But perhaps they are.”

  “And then,” continued the little Wizard, “we will call upon the Tin Woodman and Jack Pumpkinhead and our old friend the Scarecrow, on our way home.”

  “That will be nice!” cried Dorothy, eagerly.

  “Can’t say they sound very interesting, either,” remarked Aunt Em.

  “Why, they’re the best friends I have!” asserted the little girl, “and you’re sure to like them, Aunt Em, ’cause ever’body likes them.”

  By this time twilight was approaching, so they ate the fine supper which the Wizard magically produced from the kettle and then went to bed in the cozy tents.

  They were all up bright and early next morning, but Dorothy didn’t venture to wander from the camp again for fear of more accidents.

  “Do you know where there’s a road?” she asked the little man.

  “No, my dear,” replied the Wizard; “but I’ll find one.”

  After breakfast he waved his hand toward the tents and they became handkerchiefs again, which were at once returned to the pockets of their owners. Then they all climbed into the red wagon and the Sawhorse inquired:

  “Which way?”

  “Never mind which way,” replied the Wizard. “Just go as you please and you’re sure to be right. I’ve enchanted the wheels of the wagon, and they will roll in the right direction, never fear.”

  As the Sawhorse started away through the trees Dorothy said:

  “If we had one of those new-fashioned airships we could float away over the top of the forest, and look down and find just the places we want.”

  “Airship? Pah!” retorted the little man, scornfully. “I hate those things, Dorothy, although they are nothing new to either you or me. I was a balloonist for many years, and once my balloon carried me to the Land of Oz, and once to the Vegetable Kingdom. And once Ozma had a Gump that flew all over this kingdom and had sense enough to go where it was told to—which airships won’t do. The house which the cyclone brought to Oz all the way from Kansas, with you and Toto in it—was a real airship at the time; so you see we’ve got plenty of experience flying with the birds.”

  “Airships are not so bad, after all,” declared Dorothy. “Some day they’ll fly all over the world, and perhaps bring people even to the Land of Oz.”

  “I must speak to Ozma about that,” said the Wizard, with a slight frown. “It wouldn’t do at all, you know, for the Emerald City to become a way-station on an airship line.”

  “No,” said Dorothy, “I don’t s’pose it would. But what can we do to prevent it?”

  “I’m working out a magic recipe to fuddle men’s brains, so they’ll never make an airship that will go where they want it to go,” the Wizard confided to her. “That won’t keep the things from flying, now and then, but it’ll keep them from flying to the Land of Oz.”

  Just then the Sawhorse drew the wagon out of the forest and a beautiful landscape lay spread before the travelers’ eyes. Moreover, right before them was a good road that wound away through the hills and valleys.

  “Now,” said the Wizard, with evident delight, “we are on the right track again, and there is nothing more to worry about.”

  “It’s a foolish thing to take chances in a strange country,” observed the Shaggy Man. “Had we kept to the roads we never would have been lost. Roads always lead to some place, else they wouldn’t be roads.”

  “This road,” added the Wizard, “leads to Rigmarole Town. I’m sure of that because I enchanted the wagon wheels.”

  Sure enough, after riding along the road for an hour or two they entered a pretty valley where a village was nestled among the hills. The houses were Munchkin shaped, for they were all domes, with windows wider than they were high, and pretty balconies over the front doors.

  Aunt Em was greatly relieved to find this town “neither paper nor patch-work,” and the only surprising thing about it was that it was so far distant from all other towns.

  As the Sawhorse drew the wagon into the main street the travelers noticed that the place was filled with people, standing in groups and seeming to be engaged in earnest conversation. So occupied with themselves were the inhabitants that they scarcely noticed the strangers at all. So the Wizard stopped a boy and asked:

  “Is this Rigmarole Town?”

  “Sir,” replied the boy, “if you have traveled very much you will have noticed that every town differs from every other town in one way or another and so by observing the methods of the people and the way they live as well as the style of their dwelling places it ought not to be a difficult thing to make up your mind without the trouble of asking questions whether the town bears the appearance of the one you intended to visit or whether perhaps having taken a different road from the one you should have taken you have made an error in your way and arrived at some point where—”

  “Land sakes!” cried Aunt Em, impatiently; “what’s all this rigmarole about?”

  “That’s it!” said the Wizard, laughing merrily. “It’s a rigmarole because the boy is a Rigmarole and we’ve come to Rigmarole Town.”

  “Do they all talk like that?” asked Dorothy, wonderingly.

  “He might have said ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and settled the question,” observed Uncle Henry.

  “Not here,” said Omby Amby. “I don’t believe the Rigmaroles know what ‘yes’ or ‘no’ means.”

  While the boy had been talking several other people had approached the wagon and listened intently to his speech. Then they began talking to one another in long, deliberate speeches, where many words were used but little was said. But when the strangers criticized them so frankly one of the women, who had no one else to talk to, began an address to them, saying:

  “It is the easiest thing in the world for a person to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when a question that is asked for the purpose of gaining information or satisfying the curiosity of the one who has given expression to the inquiry has attracted the attention of an individual w
ho may be competent either from personal experience or the experience of others to answer it with more or less correctness or at least an attempt to satisfy the desire for information on the part of the one who has made the inquiry by—”

  “Dear me!” exclaimed Dorothy, interrupting the speech. “I’ve lost all track of what you are saying.”

  “Don’t let her begin over again, for goodness sake!” cried Aunt Em.

  But the woman did not begin again. She did not even stop talking, but went right on as she had begun, the words flowing from her mouth in a stream.

  “I’m quite sure that if we waited long enough and listened carefully, some of these people might be able to tell us something, in time,” said the Wizard.

  “Let’s don’t wait,” returned Dorothy. “I’ve heard of the Rigmaroles, and wondered what they were like; but now I know, and I’m ready to move on.”

  “So am I,” declared Uncle Henry; “we’re wasting time here.”

  “Why, we’re all ready to go,” said the Shaggy Man, putting his fingers to his ears to shut out the monotonous babble of those around the wagon.

  So the Wizard spoke to the Sawhorse, who trotted nimbly through the village and soon gained the open country on the other side of it. Dorothy looked back, as they rode away, and noticed that the woman had not yet finished her speech but was talking as glibly as ever, although no one was near to hear her.

  “If those people wrote books,” Omby Amby remarked with a smile, “it would take a whole library to say the cow jumped over the moon.”

  “Perhaps some of ’em do write books,” asserted the little Wizard. “I’ve read a few rigmaroles that might have come from this very town.”

  “Some of the college lecturers and ministers are certainly related to these people,” observed the Shaggy Man; “and it seems to me the Land of Oz is a little ahead of the United States in some of its laws. For here, if one can’t talk clearly, and straight to the point, they send him to Rigmarole Town; while Uncle Sam lets him roam around wild and free, to torture innocent people.”