Watching Over Her

by Terry Towers

  Releasing the platform, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself flush against his hard heat, their bodies forming together beautifully, like they always had.

  One kiss, that’s all. No big deal…

  But damn, had his lips been this soft before? She parted her lips as she moaned softly against his mouth. He took opportunity to thrust his tongue between her parted lips; the feel of their tongues as they touched sent a rush of pleasure and yearning through her so intense the fire between her legs ignited. Suddenly, she couldn’t get close enough to him. Her fingers caressed the muscle of his shoulders and the muscle flexed under her fingertips.

  She knew she needed to stop this, but he felt so good, so familiar. After having her heart and pride get stomped on by Logan, being in Devon’s arms felt so, so good – and right. This was Devon, he’d never hurt her, he’d never deceive her. Devon had always been there for her and she’d blown it, hurting them both in the process.

  And I’m going to end up doing it again… The thought was like dumping a bucket of ice water over her head. She pulled away, ducking under his arm and swimming away from him as quickly as she could. Her mother was right, it was a bad, bad idea by a silly girl who’d wished for something she knew she couldn’t have.

  ~*~*~*~

  “Please just take me to my mother’s place, Devon.”

  “No.” He pulled out of the deserted, dirt road and onto the main road. “I know what you’re doing.”

  Violet huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and refusing to look at him; instead she stared out of the front windshield. “I don’t have the energy for this. Please, just take me home.”

  “No.”

  She shot him a glare. “What? You planning on kidnapping me?”

  “If that’s what it takes, yes.”

  “Please, this isn’t going to work out.”

  He glanced from the road to her. “I’m not asking you to marry me, V. I’m asking to spend some time together. Hang out, have fun. Talk.”

  “And what’s that going to accomplish? Ultimately I’m going back to New York and you’re staying here. The only thing that is going to come out of us spending time together is either one of us or both getting hurt.”

  Devon diverted his attention back to the road. “We’re not naïve teenagers anymore, V. I would hope we both realize this isn’t a restart of what we had. We were kids back then. We’re adults now. I just thought we could spend some time together, have some fun. I hope I didn’t give the wrong –”

  Oh my god! She was thankful for the darkness of the cab, because she could feel the color drain from her face. It was apparent she’d jumped to some sort of vain conclusion. Was she so high on herself that she’d assume he’d fall head over heels for her after one day or even consider being with her again after the way they’d broken up? He just wanted to play around, have a little fun with her. In typical Violet Phillips fashion she’d jumped to conclusions. But the realization hurt.

  She felt stupid, like a teenager with a crush. Just gotta harden myself. Of course he wasn’t expecting anything but a good time. She took a deep breath in and slowly released it. “No, of course not. I just –” Babbling. I’m babbling. Could I possibly make an even bigger ass of myself?

  Feeling his eyes on her, she forced herself to meet his gaze and shrugged. “So where are we going?”

  A grin formed on his lips. It was like he could read her mind and was amused by her distress. “I was thinking you might want to check out my place…”

  No, don’t do it! a voice in the back of her head warned. Her emotions had been in turmoil since their kiss at the platform. His house could lead to more intimate time together, which could lead to sex, which could lead to falling for him all over again, which could lead to going back to New York even more fucked up than she was now.

  But if I don’t go then he’ll know his effect on me. He’ll think I’m some insecure, silly girl who falls in love over a single kiss. Don’t overthink this Violet, she told herself. Don’t overthink it.

  “You know, you’re right. I’d like to check it out.”

  “Only if you want to.” There was a challenge in his stare as if he could read her mind and it was greatly amusing to him.

  She gave him a dubious look, doing her best to sound flippant. “I didn’t think I had a choice.”

  *~*~*~*

  She’d attempted to be dismissive, but he could see she was struggling being with him. The kiss had shaken her up, hell the kiss had shaken him up as well, but he was just better equipped to hide it from her, masking the mix of emotions rushing through him with sarcasm and teasing.

  “We’re here.” A part of him felt he was being an asshole for doing this to her, presenting her with the home they talked and dreamed about, but he reasoned that if she’d left him all those years ago for the reasons she’d stated then it wouldn’t matter.

  She sat forward in the seat and her eyes grew wide as she took in the two-storey farmhouse. They’d spent hours of their youth discussing the house they’d want when they got on and it was identical to their musings, right down to the white picket fence bordering the expansive front lawn, the stables to their left housing two horses and the little Martha Stewart-style chicken coop in the back.

  Would she think it pathetic that he still kept those dreams? Would she think he hadn’t moved on? Though in truth, a part of him never did. It may have been easy for her to move on, but for him – not so much. She’d been the one and only woman he’d ever loved or wanted to marry. His first and only love, it wasn’t something he was willing to forget even if he could. As pathetic as it was she was the standard to whom every woman he dated was compared – and none ever lived up to his memories of Violet Phillips.

  But those were memories…

  “Come on, it’s dark, but I’ll show you around as best I can.” Getting out, he didn’t make it to the front of the truck before her door was open and she was hopping out.

  “So you said it’s a little hobby farm?”

  “Yeah.”

  Grabbing a flashlight that was hanging on the corner of the porch he took her hand and began leading her towards the stables. “I’ll show you the horses first, they’re in for the night, but…”

  They approached the barn and entered. He flicked a couple of switches just inside the stable doors and the fluorescent overhead lights flickered on. Their entry caused the horses to stir, snorting and bucking against their stalls. She didn’t hesitate, but scurried past him and into the barn, heading towards the brown American quarter horse mare.

  Devon watched as she spent time caressing and cooing over each of the two horses. A part of him had feared she’d grown prissy, not being around the farm life for years, but that seemed to be hardly the case. “What else do you have?”

  “I have some chickens.”

  She turned and eyed him. “Silkies?”

  He shrugged. Aside from being cute pets, silkies were pretty much pointless in a farm environment – they turned broody often and their eggs were tiny. “After all the fuss you used to make over them, how could I have chickens without having some?”

  “Show me!”

  “They’re asleep… The roosters…”

  Grabbing his hand she pulled him from the barn, and as if she knew where she was going headed towards the coop. “So they’ll crow a little bit, big deal.”

  With a sigh, he gave in to her. Every moment he spent in her presence the more she seemed to morph into the girl he used to know. And with each second it made him want her more. Maybe she’d been right and this was a bad idea.

  She didn’t wait for his approval, she unlatched the coop door and pulled it open. The interruption caused the chickens to stir and as expected the four roosters perked up and the crowing began. Violet immediately went to the groggy white silkie hen and picked it up, hugging it tight to her chest. “She’s so cute. God, I wish I could have these in New York.” She began stroking its satiny feathers as it snuggled tight to
her, closing its eyes. “This is the stuff I really miss, you know.”

  “Yeah, but don’t you guys have rats?”

  She laughed. “Yeah, forgot about those. And the cockroaches.”

  “Sounds like a dream.”

  “It has its moments.” Looking down at the chicken, she placed a little kiss on its head and then set it back down onto the ground. “So, how about you show me the house?”

  ~*~*~*~

  It was everything she’d dreamed of for them. It was like he’d gone forward without her. Which, of course, is what he did. Why wouldn’t he? She felt stupid even thinking that he’d give up what he wanted just because she’d changed her mind. But she hadn’t changed her mind, she’d been forced to make an impossible decision.

  “What’s wrong?” Devon asked as he passed her a glass of white wine and then sat down next to her on the sofa, placing the open bottle on the wooden table in front of them.

  “Just thinking.”

  “About?”

  “I guess it’s the house. Your life. It’s what I’d dreamed – what we’d dreamed of.”

  “You expected me to just give up what I planned, just because you decided you didn’t want it or me anymore?”

  It felt like he’d just twisted the knife already in her heart. “You don’t understand.” She looked down at the glass of white wine in her hands, fumbling with its stem.

  “No, you’re right. I don’t understand now and I didn’t understand then either. You gave me some bullshit excuse about needing to experience life beyond this stupid little town – your exact words I might add – and meet new people and date some college jack-offs. You didn’t think about the life we’d planned then, you only thought about Violet.”

  His jaw clenched and anger flashed in his grey eyes. She cringed. “I deserved that.”

  Downing the glass of wine he refilled the glass and sighed, the hardness in his expression softening. “I didn’t –”

  “Yeah, you did. It’s all right. And, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry, just tell me the truth, V. I know what you told me all those years ago was bullshit. I think I deserve the truth. I’ve waited long enough for it.”

  Chapter 5

  “Does it really matter anymore Devon?” It wouldn’t change a thing. Why hash up the past, but unfortunately the entire night was filled with the past.

  “It matters because I’ve lived knowing the woman I was going to propose to, the woman I expected to spend the rest of my life with ruined it all for some unknown reason. It matters because my world was crushed and it was all a lie, I deserve to know the truth.”

  “I didn’t have a choice, Devon.”

  “I don’t understand, of course you had a choice, you chose to leave.”

  “No.” Tears filled her eyes. “No, I didn’t. My father was sick, remember. He’d been diagnosed with lung cancer and it wasn’t good.”

  “I got along with your father. Hell, he called me son. Why would that have anything to do with us?”

  She looked back up into his confused grey eyes and sighed. This was almost as hard as ending it in the first place. “I know. But…” Telling him the truth was going to cause a ripple effect far greater than he expected. She didn’t want to open Pandora’s box, but on the other hand, was it fair she continue to carry the burden? Wasn’t it time the guilty parties be held accountable for their part in their break-up?

  “Just tell me, V. Jesus, did you get knocked up by someone? Did I imagine how we felt about each other?”

  “No, no. None of that. It was real.”

  “Then tell me.”

  She took a deep breath in and slowly released it. Fuck it! It was about time the people responsible be held accountable, she’d held the weight on her shoulders for long enough. She no longer had anything to lose.

  “Your mother was blackmailing me.”

  Devon frowned, opened his mouth, seemed to be about to say something and then snapped it shut again. The room fell quiet; in the background she could faintly hear one of the roosters crowing.

  “Come again?”

  “My mother was having an affair with your father.”

  His frown deepened and he drank down the content of his glass, quickly refilling it. “Wait, so. Why?” He gave his head a little shake. “I mean, why would that have anything to do with us?”

  “Just after the prom your mother called me and asked me to have lunch with her. I knew she disliked me, we both know that, and I was hoping she wanted to call a truce, but that wasn’t it. She told me about the affair and told me if I didn’t break up with you and leave she’d tell my dying father about the affair.” A single tear slid down her cheek. She cursed herself for being so weak, but it had been such a trying week. “I didn’t want to do it, but I couldn’t…” A sob took hold of her. “My father would have been crushed.”

  “Dammit V, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because it was part of the deal. I go to school, she’d even pay for it, but I couldn’t come back. I had to make you think I didn’t want this life or you, or she’d tell Dad. It would have killed him, Devon. Between the chemo and radiation, he was becoming so physically weak, he didn’t need that too. He didn’t need my mother’s infidelity weighing on his mind in his final days.”

  “Well, why wouldn’t you tell me after he passed?”

  “I was going to, but my mother told me that you’d found someone and you were happy. So I just… I figured you’d moved on and I didn’t… I figured I didn’t deserve you anyhow.” She shrugged. “And I was scared you’d reject me and I’d have to heal all over again. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly.”

  “Shit.” He thrust a hand into his hair and placed his wine glass on the coffee table. “I can’t believe her. Can’t fucking believe it.” Standing, he began to pace back and forth across the living room. “I can believe it. But at the same time… It’s so hard to grasp. A million explanations went through my head over the years, but that was never one of them.”

  She didn’t know what to do or say, so she said nothing, only watched him pace back and forth. However, it felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted from her shoulders. It had nagged at the back of her mind for seven years. Yes, her mother and his father were at fault, but she and Devon had been the ones who paid the price.

  “She hated me Devon, we both know that. Every time you were in trouble, I was standing beside you. She wanted me gone, she found a way to break us up and she used it.”

  He stopped pacing, and spun to face her, anger flashing in his eyes. “It was none of her fucking business.”

  She cringed. She felt so stupid, she’d fallen for it, hook line and sinker. She’d allowed herself to be bullied out of the happy life they’d been building together.

  “You should have come to me.”

  “Why, Devon? Why? So you could confront her and she’d tell my father everything?”

  “We were the kids, it wasn’t our business who was fucking whom. For all you know your father knew about it and chose to ignore it. Did you ever confront your mother?”

  “No. I was told to keep it to myself. It was between her and me. If I were to say anything to anyone then she’d let my father and everyone in town know.”

  “You should have come to me. You should have called her bluff. For all you know it’s a heap of lies.”

  “I was 18 and stupid and knew I had a limited amount of time left with my father. What do you want me to say that I haven’t already said, Devon? I’m sorry.” She stood. Anger was beginning to boil up within her. She wasn’t the villain here, she’d done what she felt was right at the time and she’d be damned if she was going to let him scold her like a naughty child. Maybe she should have discussed it with her mother after her father died, but she just didn’t want to rehash it all. In her eyes the damage had been done.

  “You made the decision for both of us, V!”

  “I sacrificed for what I thought was right.” Walking over to him she poked him in th
e chest. “I left the life I planned on sharing with you because I didn’t think I had a choice, you think that was easy for me? Did you think it was easy for me when my mother told me you were with someone and happy, without me? That you’d moved on? I promise you, it wasn’t. I hurt every time I thought of you with someone else. I hurt every time I allowed myself to think of what could have been.”

  I need to get out of here… She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. It had already been a stressful week, she didn’t need this additional pain. Not over something that was ancient history. She stormed past him and into the kitchen, heading for the front door.

  “Violet!”

  She heard him call behind her, but it only caused her to increase her pace. Grasping the door handle she turned it and began to open the door, to have it slammed closed again.

  “Hell no. You’re not going anywhere. No fucking way.”

  She spun to face him. “I want to leave.”

  “You’re not going anywhere until we sort this out once and for all, you owe me that much.” The emotions in his eyes and expression – the hurt, the anger – it was like another slam to the stomach leaving her breathless, and brought back the memories of the day she’d broken up with him. They were 18 again and they were reliving one of the worst days of her life.

  “Your wicked fucking mother owes you that, not me. I may have been young and stupid back then, but she took advantage.”

  ~*~*~*~

  Devon forced himself to calm down. It really wasn’t her fault. She was right, she’d been young and his mother was a very intimidating and persuasive woman who always got her way. He didn’t doubt his mother had spun things to the point where Violet felt she had no other choice. But dammit, it hurt that she hadn’t gone to him and told him. She’d made the decision for both of them.