A Baby on the Ranch: A Baby on the RanchRamona and the Renegade

by Marie Ferrarella

  Sometimes he’d quietly slip into the baby’s room—which was upstairs now, right next to hers. They’d decided to move Wayne’s crib into an adjoining bedroom so that Kasey could sleep a little more soundly. Slipping in, he’d just watch the infant sleep. Nothing was more peaceful and soothing than watching Wayne sleep.

  As for their forming a family unit, he never said anything about it out loud because he was afraid of spoiling it, afraid that once he gave a name to it, the situation would change. He didn’t want to take a chance on jinxing it. All he wanted to do was to savor every moment of it, knowing full well that it wouldn’t last. That eventually, Kasey would become stronger, more confident, and want to move on.

  But now this request of hers would forever bind them together. Being Wayne’s godfather firmly placed him in Wayne’s life and, by association, in hers.

  Did she understand the full implication of what she was suggesting? He looked at her and repeated, “You’re sure?”

  She smiled at him, the kind of smile that always went straight to his gut. “I was never more sure of anything in my life,” she told him. “Unless you don’t want to,” she qualified suddenly.

  Until this moment it had never occurred to her that he might not be willing to do this. Though he kept insisting that he wasn’t, maybe Eli did already feel burdened by having her and her son stay here with him. That meant that asking him to be Wayne’s godfather was just asking too much.

  “Because if you don’t,” she continued quickly, “it’s all right. I understand. I mean, you’ve already done so very much for—”

  She was talking so fast there was no space, no pause where he could stick in a single word. Eli didn’t know any other way to stop her except to place his fingertips to her lips, halting their movement. She raised her eyes to his quizzically.

  “Of course I want to. I was just surprised—and touched,” he confessed, “that you asked. To be honest, I never saw myself as the type to be someone’s godfather. That’s a very big—”

  Kasey was nodding her head. “I know. Responsibility,” she said, thinking she was ending his sentence for him. She didn’t want him to feel that she was putting any sort of demands on him, not after he had been so wonderful to them.

  “I was going to say ‘honor,’” he told her patiently. “Being a godfather is a very big honor and I just didn’t think I was worthy.”

  Eli watched, fascinated, as her eyes widened. How many times had he felt as if he could literally go wading in those eyes of hers? Lose himself completely in those fathomless blue eyes?

  It took a great deal of effort on his part to keep himself in check and just go on talking as if nothing was happening inside of him. As if he didn’t want to just sweep her into his arms and tell her that he loved her, that he would always be there for her and for Wayne and that there was really no need for any formal declarations.

  “Not worthy?” Kasey echoed. “I’ve never known a better man than you in my whole life and if you do agree to become Wayne’s godfather, then we’re the ones who will be honored, not you,” she told him.

  Eli shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from touching her face. He laughed in response to her statement, shaking his head.

  “All right. Then consider yourself honored,” he quipped. “I would love to be Wayne’s godfather. Just tell me where and when.”

  “This coming Saturday,” she told him. “We can go to the church together. I’ll just let the pastor know.” She paused for a second, letting the first part sink in before she told him of her other decision. “I was thinking of asking Miss Joan to be his godmother.” She watched his face for a reaction. “What do you think?”

  Eli nodded, approving. He had a feeling that it would mean a great deal to the woman. “I think she’d like that very much.”

  Pleased, Kasey picked up the full pot of coffee. It had just finished brewing when Eli walked by the kitchen. She’d called to him, but she had a feeling that it was the coffee aroma that had lured him in.

  “Well, that’s settled,” she said, pouring him a cup. “Now come and have your breakfast. I’ve already packed your lunch for you.”

  He doubted that she had any idea how good that sounded to him. He would never take this for granted.

  “I keep telling you that you don’t have to do this,” he said, taking a seat at the table.

  Admittedly his voice was carrying less and less conviction each time he told her that there was no need to get up and serve him like this. But that was because, beneath his protests, he was thoroughly enjoying sharing his meals with her. It would have taken nothing on his part to get used to a life like this.

  Simple, without demands.

  Just the three of them…

  He knew he was dreaming, but dreams cost nothing, so for now, he indulged himself.

  “And I keep telling you that it’s the least I can do,” she reminded him.

  He stared at the plate that Kasey had just put on the table in front of him. There was French toast, sausage and orange juice, as well as the cup of black coffee. And over on the counter was his lunch all packed and standing at the ready, waiting to be picked up on his way out. Life just didn’t get any better than this.

  “If this is the least,” he told her in appreciation, between bites, “then I don’t think I’m ready to see the most.”

  She laughed, delighted. It occurred to her that she’d laughed more in these past five weeks than she had in all the years that she’d spent with Hollis. That could have been because with Hollis, there’d always been one problem after another, always something to worry about. All the bills—and finding the funds to pay them—had always fallen on her shoulders.

  It wasn’t like that with Eli. He was the one bent on taking care of her, not on being waited on, hand and foot, by her.

  It was a completely different world. She had to admit that she rather liked it and could, so easily, get used to it….

  “I’m working on it,” she told him with a wink.

  The wink set off its own chain reaction. Eli could feel his toes curling, could feel anticipation racing through him to the point that he could barely sit still long enough to finish his breakfast.

  He couldn’t recall ever being happier.

  * * *

  THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY, Eli carefully dug out the suit that he’d worn to Miss Joan’s wedding. Brushing off a few stray hairs that had found their way to the dark, navy blue material, he put the suit on.

  As Wayne’s godfather, he wanted to look his best, he thought, carefully surveying himself from every angle in the mirror. He scrutinized his appearance with a very critical eye. The last thing he wanted to do was to embarrass Kasey by looking like some weather-beaten cowboy.

  He was going for a dignified look. For that, he needed to wear a tie, but the thing insisted on giving him trouble, refusing to tie correctly.

  Ties were nothing but colorful nooses, but a necessary accessory to complete the picture, and as such, he had to wear one.

  Easier said than done.

  When his third attempt at forming a knot turned out even worse than the first two, Eli bit off a curse as he yanked off the offending garment. He was never going to get this right. Alma had tied his last tie for him, but Alma wasn’t here.

  He had a hunch that all women were born knowing how to tie ties.

  Impulsively, clutching the uncooperative tie in his hand, he went to Kasey’s room and knocked on her door.

  “Be there in a minute,” he heard her call out.

  He hadn’t meant to rush her. “No hurry,” he assured her. “I just wanted to ask if you knew anything about tying ties.”

  He should have just slipped his tie off over his head the last time he’d worn it. Then he’d be ready to go by now instead of walking around with his tie crumpled in his hand.

  Just as he finished chewing himself out, Kasey’s door opened. She wore a light blue-gray dress that stopped several inches above her knees.

  The word visio
n throbbed in his brain.

  “You look beautiful,” he told her, his voice only slightly above a whisper.

  She smiled at the compliment, finding his tone exceptionally sexy.

  Her eyes lit up the way they had a tendency to do when she was happy. And as they did, he could feel his very soul lighting up, as well.

  He ached for her.

  “You’re very sweet, Eli,” she told him.

  “And very inept,” he concluded, feeling it best to change the subject and not dwell on anything that could get him into a whole lot of trouble. “You’d think a grown man could finally get the hang of tying a tie,” he complained.

  She didn’t want him to get down on himself. “That grown man is too busy doing good deeds and trying to make a go of his new ranch while lending moral support to a friend. I’d say that tying a tie doesn’t even make the top one hundred list of things that need to be learned.” She stood in front of him for a moment, studying his tie, then said, “I’m going to have to stand behind you to do this—if you don’t mind having my arms around you for a couple of minutes,” she interjected.

  Mind? Did she think he was mentally deficient? What man in his right mind would balk at having a beautiful woman put her arms around him under any pretext?

  “No, I don’t mind,” he assured her, doing his best not to grin like a reject from a Cheshire cat competition as he said it. “Do whatever you have to do to get this thing finally on straight.”

  “I’ll do my best,” she promised.

  The next moment she was behind him, reaching around his body to take hold of the two ends of his tie. Even though he was wearing a jacket, he was aware of her soft breasts pressing up against his back. Aware of the gentle fragrance of her shampoo as it filled his head. Aware of the hunger that coursed through his veins.

  He took in slow, measured breaths, trying to reduce the erratic pounding of his pulse.

  “I’m not making this too tight for you, am I?” she asked, her breath lightly tickling the skin that was just above his collar.

  “No.” He didn’t trust himself to say any more words than that.

  Within another minute and a half, Kasey was finished. With a tinge of reluctance, she stepped back, away from his hard, firm body, although not away from the sensations that contact with that body had created and left behind.

  Eli was her friend. She wasn’t supposed to think this way about him, wasn’t supposed to react this way to him. More than anything else, she didn’t want to risk losing his friendship. At times, knowing that Eli was there for her was all that kept her going.

  Kasey came around to stand in front of him and examine her work.

  She’d tied a perfect knot, a Windsor knot, it was called. “Not bad,” she pronounced. And then, raising her eyes to his, she told him, “I think we’re good to go. I’ll go get Wayne.”

  He placed his hand on her arm, stopping her. “Let me,” he offered. “After all, he’s my godson—or my ‘almost’ godson. And once Miss Joan arrives at the church, I won’t be able to get within shouting distance of him, much less hold him.”

  Kasey laughed at the exaggeration. “Right. Like you don’t already hold him every chance you get,” she teased, following behind Eli as he went to her son’s bedroom.

  Walking into Wayne’s room, Eli went straight to the boy’s crib.

  Wayne was on his back, watching in fascination as his fingers wiggled above his head. Everything at his age was magical. Eli envied him that.

  As he stood above the boy, Wayne focused on him and not his fingers. Recognition set in and Wayne began to get excited. This time when he waved his arms, it wasn’t to watch his fingers. It was a form of supplication. He wanted to be picked up by this man.

  Wayne didn’t have to wait long.

  Holding the infant to him, Eli picked up the thread of the conversation between them. He feigned ignorance regarding her last statement. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Oh, yes, he did, Kasey thought. He knew exactly what she meant.

  “I hear you, you know. In the middle of the night, I hear you. I hear you going into Wayne’s room when he starts to whimper. I hear you picking him up, rocking him, walking the floor with him sometimes. You’re spoiling him, you know,” she told Eli. Then she added with a wide grin, “And me.”

  Some people didn’t get spoiled. Ever. She was one of them. “Never happen,” he assured her.

  Oh, but it’s already happened, she couldn’t help thinking. She’d gotten used to relying on him, used to experiencing the feeling of well-being that he generated for her.

  Shaking herself free of her thoughts, she declared, “All right, enough fraternizing.” She took the baby from him, tucking Wayne against her shoulder. “It’s time to take your godson to church.”

  His godson.

  He liked the sound of that. But then, he liked the sound of anything that came from her lips, he thought. He always had.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said, pretending to salute her.

  Squaring his shoulders like a soldier, Eli led the way out of the house and to his Jeep. The vehicle had been washed and polished in honor of the occasion.

  Now if he could just keep it clean until the day was over….

  * * *

  THE BAPTISM ITSELF was a very simple ceremony, but touching nonetheless.

  The solemnity of the occasion was interrupted when Wayne attempted to drink the drops of water that lightly cascaded from his forehead, his little tongue working overtime to catch as many drops as he could.

  “The boy’s got a sense of humor about him,” Miss Joan declared with no small approval, nodding her head as she watched his failed efforts to make contact with the water. Because she wanted to hold the boy for a few more minutes, she allowed the moment to linger. Then, with a barely suppressed sigh, Miss Joan handed the boy back to his mother.

  In her heart, she was reliving moments of her life when she’d held her own son this way, thinking how much promise was contained within the small boy.

  She fervently hoped that the boy whose godmother she’d become today had a better, longer future ahead of him than her own son had had.

  “All right,” Miss Joan suddenly said, clearing her throat and raising her voice so that everyone in the church could hear her. “We’ve dunked him and promised to stand by him and stand up for him. Now let’s all go and celebrate over at my place.”

  Her place, as everyone in town knew, referred to Miss Joan’s diner. Forever’s only restaurant had been suitably decorated to celebrate Wayne’s christening. As with the Christmas holidays and the Fourth of July, all the women in town who’d been blessed with the knack had banded together and cooked up a storm, making everything from baby-back ribs to pies and cakes, some of which were so light Miss Joan’s husband, Harry, claimed they had to be tied down to keep them from floating away.

  The diner was soon filled to capacity. And then some.

  Because it was warm, the establishment doors were left open and the party soon spilled out of the diner and onto the grounds surrounding it.

  The celebration, fueled by good food, good company and boisterous laughter, continued until darkness overtook the sun, sending it away, and the stars came out to keep the moon company.

  “I think we might have finally tired him out,” Eli commented, looking at his brand-new godson. At close to six weeks old, the boy had miraculously taken to sleeping through the night—most nights, at any rate.

  Kasey smiled her approval of this latest development. “I can take him home,” she volunteered. “But you don’t have to leave right away. You can stay here longer if you like.”

  He looked at her as if she wasn’t making any sense. “My mother always taught me to go home with the girl I brought to the dance.”

  “This wasn’t a dance,” Kasey pointed out, amused.

  “Same concept,” he told her. “Besides, why would I want to stay here without you—and Wayne?” he purposely added.

  The smile she
offered him stirred his heart—again. “I just wanted you to know you had options. I don’t want you to feel I’m taking advantage of your kindness or that I’m monopolizing you.”

  He wondered what she would say if he told her that he wanted her to take advantage of him, wanted her to monopolize him to her heart’s content.

  Probably look at him as if he’d gone off the deep end, and he supposed he had. He couldn’t think of a better way to go than loving Kasey until his last minute on earth was up.

  But if he even so much as hinted at that, Kasey would probably be packing by morning. Not about to experiment and find out, he decided that it was for the best to just keep his feelings to himself.

  “C’mon,” he said, “I’ll take the two of you home.”

  Tired, Kasey was more than willing to leave. She held the baby against her as Eli guided her out of the diner and toward his car. Without even realizing it, she was leaning into his arm as she walked.

  Eli slipped his arm around her shoulders to help guide her, savoring the warm glow he felt.

  Chapter Nine

  Kasey supposed that she’d been feeling a little sad and vulnerable all day. She didn’t know if it was because of all the couples at the christening, which in contrast made her feel isolated and alone, or because her hormones were still slightly off.

  It could have also been due to her finally accepting that she would be facing life as a single mom.

  Or maybe it was a combination of all three.

  Whatever it was, her emotions were all very close to the surface. She did her level best to rein them in. The last thing she wanted, after he’d been so nice to her, was to burst into tears in front of Eli. He’d think that it was his fault, but it wasn’t. After her son, Eli was the best thing in her life right now.

  As they drove back to Eli’s ranch, she felt an intense loneliness creeping in despite the fact that Eli was in the Jeep with her, as close as a prayer. Certainly close enough for her to touch.

  Maybe she just needed to make contact with another human being, she thought. The sadness made her feel extremely vulnerable.

  For whatever reason, she found herself reaching her hand out to touch Eli’s arm just as he pulled the vehicle up in front of the house.