No Bad Days

by J. Sterling

  “I haven’t talked to Frank and Ryan about it yet, but that’s the plan.”

  “What does this mean? For us?” Her expression fell slightly, and I hated the doubt I was responsible for putting into her heart.

  “I thought that was pretty self-explanatory. I want you, I’ll always want you, I never stopped wanting you. You’re my future. I just hope I’m still yours.”

  “I still have another year left up here,” she said, her tone a little colder than it had been a moment ago.

  I nodded. “I know exactly how much time you have left. I don’t care, and I never did. I shouldn’t have broken up with you, Jess. I was just so worried that you’d put me first, and I didn’t want you to end up hating me, or resent me somewhere down the line because of it.”

  “Why couldn’t you just tell me that? You let me think you didn’t want me. You let me believe you didn’t care about us at all. My God, Nick, you let me think you couldn’t stay faithful.”

  My insides twisted. I hated how much I’d continually hurt the one person that I loved. I had a lot of making up to do if she’d let me, and I sat there praying that she would.

  “I know.” I grimaced. “I know what I did. I know every single lie that I told you and made you believe. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have just been honest with you, but I knew you wouldn’t see reason.”

  Shit. That wasn’t the right thing to say, and I realized it immediately.

  Jess glared at me. “See reason? You didn’t even let me try. You just decided for both of us.”

  I threw my hands up in surrender. “Wrong word choice, sorry. I knew that you wouldn’t let me end things, even if my reasons made sense. Even if it was the last thing I wanted to do, I knew you would tell me no.”

  She glared at me for a moment too long, making my heart plummet at the thought that there would be no getting her back. I’d waited too long, pushed her too far.

  “You should have been honest.”

  “I know. I’ve regretted it every moment of every day since. Please believe that, even if you believe nothing else,” I begged her, not knowing where her head or heart were at.

  “What’s your game plan?”

  “My what?”

  “You had six hours in the car by yourself, Nick. What’d you come up with?”

  “Jess.” I shifted around so that I was facing her head-on. “I know I’ve done a lot of things that hurt you. I know I’ve waited too long to try to win you back. I’ve pushed you over the edge time and time again, let you down and disappointed you in more ways than I want to count right now.”

  My voice tightened with emotion, and I struggled to control it. “But if you’ll forgive me, or at least tell me that you’ll try, then my game plan includes never doing anything to hurt you ever again. I’ll never let you down. I’ll never disappoint you. I’ll include you in every decision I make, and I won’t keep things from you, no matter what. We’ll be a team, you and me, us against the world, and God help anyone who tries to break us apart or stand in our way.”

  “Yeah?” she said, her tone so flat, I couldn’t read her at all.

  “Yeah.”

  “You really hurt me.”

  “I know.”

  “You made me think I couldn’t trust you. You made me feel lower than I’d ever felt in my life,” she said.

  Her words only twisted the knife in my heart even more. I didn’t blame her, though. I’d never blame her for how she felt when it came to me, to us. I had done this.

  “Have to be honest, Jess, that I really hate hearing that. It fucking kills me, okay? It tears me up inside, knowing how I made you feel. But I can’t fix the things I’ve already done. I can only promise you to be a better man going forward. And I am promising you that. I’ll do whatever it takes. Whatever you need me to do. Just tell me.”

  I wasn’t above falling to the floor and getting on my knees, my hands in a prayer position, if that’s what it took. I’d do anything. Anything to make this right.

  Jess stared at her hands, not meeting my eyes. “I don’t know.”

  “Do you still love me? Hell, do you still have any feelings for me at all?”

  That got to her. I saw it all over her face.

  “Yes,” she said, not specifying which question she was answering, but it didn’t matter.

  “Do you want me to leave and never come back?”

  Her face fell, and when she met my gaze, her eyes glistened. “No.”

  “I’ve suffered, Jess. I know you probably don’t think I have, because you haven’t been the one dishing it out to me, but I swear to you that I’ve suffered on a daily basis without you. Please don’t make me suffer any more if it’s not what you really want. Don’t try to prove a point here. It’s only wasting time, and I don’t want to waste any more time without you.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks at my words.

  I was scared to touch her without permission, even though every part of me wanted to claim every part of her again. When I reached toward her, she all but dived into my arms, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me tight.

  “I just don’t want to be stupid,” she mumbled into my shirt. “You hurt me so much, but I still love you. I always thought we’d end up together, but then you got engaged, and I knew there would never be an us again. I hated that the most.”

  I pulled back far enough to look her in the eyes. “I promise that if you choose to forgive me, it will be the least stupid thing you ever do in your life.”

  She giggled against my chest. “Of course you’re going to say that. You’re your biggest fan.”

  “And my worst enemy,” I added. “Forgive me, Jess? Please say you’ll try.”

  When she said she would, my heart skipped a beat. I’d take it.

  “Can I kiss you?” I wanted to tell her I was going to kiss her, give her no option, but it didn’t feel like the right time to go all alpha male on her while I was still on shaky ground.

  “If you don’t, I might never forgive you,” she said before pressing her lips to mine.

  I opened my mouth, begging her to do the same, and she did. Our tongues met in the middle, touching softly before pulling away. Kissing her was pure joy, like tasting heaven.

  But more importantly, kissing her reminded me where I belonged and with whom.

  Life is Unexpected

  Jess

  Nick had confessed so much to me tonight, filling in all the gaps of the past year, and all I offered him was a simple I’ll try when it came to forgiving him. After he’d walked out of his wedding today and come straight here.

  For me.

  For us.

  I wanted to do more than try. My past hurts couldn’t be erased in the minutes it took him to apologize, but Nick’s intentions had been good. I couldn’t overlook the fact that he had been making decisions he thought were in my best interest, no matter how much they might have frustrated me. He’d also tried to keep me safe, and I’d never known anyone, aside from my parents, who would go that far for me.

  I had no idea how I would have reacted if put into a similar situation, but I’d like to assume that I would have done whatever it took to keep Nick safe as well. I couldn’t hold that against him, and to be honest, I didn’t want to. That kind of character trait was rare in people, especially in guys. And here Nick was, willingly throwing away a guaranteed future to make sure I got to keep mine.

  I believed him when he said he was sorry. And all the promises he’d made to me tonight while we sat on my bed? I believed those too. The moment his lips touched mine, I was a goner. When you shared a connection like we had, it wasn’t something that was easily brushed off or ignored. You couldn’t pretend it didn’t exist.

  A knock on my bedroom door caused us both to turn and stare at it, even though whoever was behind it couldn’t see us.

  “Pizza’s here,” Rachel said. “I mean, you’ve probably worked up an appetite with how long you two have been in there, and to be honest, I’m dying out he
re not knowing what’s going on in there, so come out right now!” she yelled at the end.

  I laughed. “We’ll be right there.”

  “Do I get some?” Nick asked.

  His gaze on me was gentle, but I hated that he didn’t look completely relaxed. I knew it was because I hadn’t given him cause to.

  “You definitely get some.” When Nick laughed, my cheeks burned as I quickly added, “Pizza. You definitely get some pizza.”

  He pushed himself off my bed first before giving me a hand. “Come here,” he said, pulling my body against his and holding me tight. “I thought I was never going to get to do this again.” His grip on me tightened.

  “Me too,” I agreed as I tightened my hold on him as well.

  “We’re going to be okay, right?” he asked, his breath warm against my neck.

  I nodded, not wanting to make him think otherwise anymore. “I think we’re going to be better than just okay.”

  He pulled back, his blue eyes filled with so much hope. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I love you. I never stopped,” he said, and there was no doubting his sincerity.

  I smiled as I pulled him toward my door and opened it. When we walked out of my room holding hands, Rachel noticed immediately.

  “Thank the Lord, finally. Here!” Rachel shoved two plates holding pizza slices at us before hesitating. “Wait, does he get some or not?”

  “He gets some,” I said with another laugh, and watched as Rachel handed it over. Nick and I sat on the couch, our thighs touching.

  “Hurry up and fill us in. Brooke and I are just making shit up out here, and we know we’re all wrong.”

  “I’m pretty sure Nick isn’t in the mob and was only marrying Carla to keep the opposing mob boss from killing everyone he ever loved,” Brooke said, waving her pizza around. “That one was Rachel’s guess, by the way.”

  Rachel rolled her eyes and leaned toward us. “Just tell us if you’re back together. That’s really all I need to know. And if he groveled. And, oh my gosh, please tell me that you left Carla at the altar! I hope that bitch cried all over her stupid dress and ruined her makeup.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I looked at Nick. “You can take that one.”

  “Thanks.” He grinned before nodding at my best friend. “I don’t want anyone but your girl, Jess, here. So as far as us being back together, I’m working on it. But I don’t plan on stopping until that answer is a firm yes.” He glanced at me before continuing. “I’m not sure if I groveled enough, but I tried.” He turned to face me again. “If it wasn’t enough, let me know. I’ll do it again. I’ll do more. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  “My goodness.” Brooke’s mouth fell open. “Sorry, I’ve just never seen something like this in real life. You’re good.” She pointed at Nick with her free hand. “He’s good,” she repeated, looking between me and Rachel.

  “He knows,” Rachel said. “Now, tell me about the wedding.”

  Nick shrugged. “I left before it started. I never even saw Carla, so I’m not sure what she did or how she reacted.”

  “Hasn’t anyone filled you in?” Rachel demanded, looking shocked. “What kind of friends do you have?”

  “I left my phone at the ceremony site. Ran out so fast, I completely forgot it.”

  “Shit, Nick. Who has it?” Rachel asked, suddenly concerned. “Call his number, Jess. I mean it. What if that crazy puta has his phone?”

  “What if she does?” I shrugged.

  Rachel shot up from her seat and bolted into my room, reappearing seconds later with my phone pressed to her ear.

  “Who’s this?” she snarled, and I thought for a moment that Carla did have Nick’s phone. “Oh, hey. No, I’m Rachel, Jess’s best friend . . . Yes, as a matter of fact, he is . . . Uh-huh . . . Right? Who leaves their phone behind and drives six hours without one?” She laughed. “No way, buddy, that’s on you. He’s not my brother . . . Sure, hold on.”

  She tossed Nick’s phone into the air and he caught it easily, pressing it to his ear.

  When I looked at Rachel with wide eyes, she smiled.

  “His brother.”

  “I gathered that much. Which one?”

  “Oh. Ryan, the flirty one.” She giggled and I shook my head, imagining the trouble the two of them could get into together.

  “Don’t even think about it, Rachel.”

  “Think about what?” She batted her eyelashes innocently.

  Brooke squinted at her. “I thought you had a boyfriend.”

  “She does. Thank you, Brooke.”

  “You two are no fun.” Rachel faked a pout just as Nick hung up the phone. He had done a lot of listening and not a lot of talking.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  “You’ll love this,” he said with a smile, and Rachel sat up straighter.

  “Please tell me. Please let it be awesome.” She clasped her hands together and glanced up at the ceiling.

  “Well,” Nick said, “apparently Carla refused to believe that I had really left for good. She claimed that I would never put Jess’s future in jeopardy like that, and she insisted that I had to be coming back.”

  When both Rachel and Brooke’s faces twisted in confusion, I held up a hand to interrupt as I explained. “I’ll fill you guys in on that tidbit later.”

  Nick continued. “Right. Sorry. Jess will tell you. Word spread to the guests that the wedding was off, but Carla ran out there and stood at the altar, screaming for everyone to remain seated. She said it was all a misunderstanding, and that no one was allowed to leave.”

  “Denial much?” Brooke asked with a surprised expression.

  Rachel laughed. “This is too rich.”

  “Anytime someone tried to move, she would yell at them to sit back down. Ryan said he couldn’t stop laughing. So I guess my dad sought hers out at some point after I left to help avoid any embarrassment to Carla, but that clearly didn’t work. Ryan said she broke everything in her bridal room. Smashed the mirrors, threw vases out windows, and destroyed all of her bridesmaids’ flower arrangements with her shoes. Went total bridezilla-psycho crazy.”

  “Are you kidding?” I asked, overcome with horrified amazement.

  “No, and apparently it’s all over social media. Someone filmed the entire thing and posted it online. They even made a dub mix,” he added, but Rachel had already snatched up her phone and started swiping at the screen.

  “Holy crap, it’s trending on Twitter, and it’s the first search term on YouTube.” She couldn’t stop laughing. “She deserves this, Nick. She deserves this and so much more. I have never hated another person as much as I hate her.”

  “Is she really that bad?” Brooke asked, and the rest of us shouted “Yes!” in unison.

  “I feel like maybe I should feel sorry for her, but I don’t. I don’t at all.” I looked at Nick. “Does that make me a bad person?”

  His hand cupped my cheek. “After everything she’s done, you’re asking if you’re the bad person? This is why you could never be bad, babe. But there’s more.”

  “What else could there be?” Rachel clapped her hands together joyfully. “What else could there be?”

  “Apparently, Mr. Crawford was threatening my dad as well. Basically, ladies,” he said, addressing Rachel and Brooke, “he told me that Jess would never work in Hollywood if I didn’t do what he wanted.”

  “He what?” Rachel’s fiery temper appeared as she jumped to her feet, fury replacing her joy, and Nick threw up his hand to stop her.

  “He threatened me, but I guess he also threatened my dad.”

  “What could he possibly threaten your dad with?” I asked, wondering how this situation could get even more insane than it already was.

  “He said he’d close down the bar. That he’d bog it down with so many code violations and fines that Frank and Ryan would never be able to reopen. At least, not before becoming irrelevant and losing their entire customer base. My dad apparen
tly thought he had the means to go through with it, the same way I felt about his threats to you.”

  “Is that why your dad pushed you to agree to the wedding?”

  Nick ran his hand through his hair while he nodded. “Yeah. So while I was trying to protect you from threats to your future, my dad was trying to protect my brothers from threats to theirs.”

  It was all so messed up. Everything Nick was saying was beyond the level of crazy that anyone should be forced to deal with.

  “This is not normal. You guys know that, right?” Brooke’s eyes were even wider, and she almost sounded scared.

  “We know.” Rachel grimaced. “So, why would Mr. Crawford do all of this? Because his daughter wanted you?”

  Nick looked at me. “In a nutshell, yes. She said that I embarrassed her. That once I started dating Jess, I’d blown her off and done it publicly more than once, and she couldn’t handle that. She was mad and hurt, and claimed that she wanted you to suffer the same way she had.”

  “By getting you to marry her?” The whole thing was way too ridiculous for me to comprehend.

  “She wanted to win, and she wanted to hurt you doing it.”

  “Why would her dad go along with something like that? I don’t get it,” I asked, still trying to wrap my head around all the craziness.

  “She’s all he has. His wife was killed in a car accident, and he never remarried. He said his whole goal in life is to keep Carla happy and give her whatever she wants,” Nick explained, like this was typical father-daughter behavior.

  Rachel blinked hard at that. “No matter what she wants or asks for?”

  “Apparently, there’s no limit to what he’d do for her,” Nick said, then looked at me. “And there’s no limit to what I’d do for you.”

  He placed a soft kiss on my forehead and apologized once more. I melted against his touch, knowing that I never wanted to be without it again.

  “I forgive you,” I whispered. “For everything.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.” I nodded because I had. I did. And I didn’t want him thinking for a second longer that I didn’t.