Amy Sumida - Rain or Monkeyshine (Book 15 in The Godhunter Series)

by Unknown

  So I focused my interest off to the side of this unusual gathering, where beautiful, voluptuous women danced, their silk saris flaring out with their long, dark hair. Men sat around them, playing odd looking instruments. Their music was lilting, a soft but joyful counterpart to the dancing, and it distracted me from seeing the details of the men playing it at first. Then I began to notice little things that were strange; a hoof instead of a foot, a tufted ear, an elongated jaw. Were these men part horse? Wait, no, that one had taloned feet. Birds perhaps? Not all of them had these features, most looked human, but enough of them bore anomalies that it had me wondering who they were... and what they were.

  “Those are the gandharvas,” Sara whispered to me as we walked sedately beside the railing which separated us from the dining room. “They are our version of elves, nature spirits. They play for the apsaras, those dancing women. The females are a different type of nature spirit but the two of them often marry. They are rather good together.”

  “Ah,” I looked back at the table and nodded to the guests. “And the hairy men?”

  “Rikshas,” Sara chuckled under her breath. “The bear shifters. The ones with the wings are the suparnas, falcon shifters, and the monkeys are of course, the vanara. Some of the human-looking people are vanara too, just unshifted.”

  “And I'm assuming that's King Louie,” I nodded slightly to the end of the table. “I mean Hanuman.”

  “Yes,” Sarasvati's shoulders began to shake with repressed laughter. “And the Baloo I referred to is actually Jambavant, King of the Rikshas. He's seated on Hanuman's right.”

  “Good to know,” I stepped back so Brahma and Sarasvati could lead us into the room as I surreptitiously studied Hanuman.

  Hanuman was a large man by human standards but not by mine. It was hard to tell with him seated but he looked to be around Torrent's height, just with a more muscular build. He had snow white hair that came down into sideburns and a wide but attractive face. As we drew closer, I saw that he had light brown eyes and looked pretty normal except for the white hair. He sat with a regal bearing and was obviously in charge.

  To his right sat a beautiful woman who looked very out of place. First of all, she was white, and I don't mean white like Hanuman's hair. I mean she was Caucasian, unlike all the Indians around her. Her hair was as straight as theirs but it was golden blonde instead of black, and although her large eyes were brown, they were more round than almond shaped. Her features weren't as horse-like as her mother's but they were similar enough for me to know her immediately. This was Rhiannon and she didn't look pleased to be there.

  “Brahma!” Hanuman stood and opened his arms wide in welcome. “I've reserved seats for you and your friends.” He waved at the empty chairs to the sides of Jambavant and Rhiannon. “Please be welcome at my table.”

  “Hanu,” Brahma went forward and embraced the other man. “You're looking good.”

  “Thank you,” he nodded. “It's love, I wear it well,” he smiled back at Rhiannon and she glared at him. “Alas, it's soured a bit in my lover. No matter, she will see the error of her ways soon.”

  “You were always so optimistic,” Sarasvati said diplomatically.

  “Lady Sarasvati,” Hanuman kissed her hand and then bowed. “You look lovely, as usual.”

  “Thank you,” she nodded graciously. “May I introduce my friend, Vervain?”

  “Oh, your friends need no introductions,” Hanuman smiled wryly at her and then transferred his full attention to me. “Especially not this one. Welcome to my home, Godhunter.”

  I nearly groaned. I'd been hoping Sara's little ploy would work and I'd be able to slide in under the radar but it looked like the gig was up. Oh well, best to just go with it.

  “I guess I should have worn my sunglasses,” I shrugged and held out a hand to Hanuman. “Thank you for being so gracious about me crashing your party.”

  “Not at all,” he grinned wider as his eyes twinkled with mischief. “I've been looking forward to meeting you, ever since I caught your men sneaking into my palace.”

  “Ah yes, that,” I cast a look over my shoulder at Azrael. “This is another of my men,” I took Azrael's hand. “Or rather my angel. Hanuman, meet Azrael, Angel of Death.”

  “Archangel, I believe,” Hanuman shook Az's hand. “I'm very honored to meet you.”

  “Thank you for your hospitality,” Azrael said with a nod.

  “Of course. All of you are welcome. I'm delighted to have such a wide variety of gods in my home,” Hanuman grinned. “Let's see, there's Thor and Ull from the Norse pantheon. Hades, Persephone, and Pan from the Greek. Huitzilopochtli of the Aztecs, Teharon of the Mohawks, and finally Horus of the Egyptians. You've become so cosmopolitan, Brahma.”

  “I try,” Brahma sighed. I guess none of us were going to remain incognito.

  Hanuman laughed and led us to the table, where we all took our seats. I maneuvered myself beside Rhiannon and gave her a secret nod, to which she gave me wide, scared eyes. I would have whispered some reassurance to her but a bowl of soup was placed immediately before me. I remembered my earlier comment about Indiana Jones and had a fleeting image of the soup that was served in the Temple of Doom. I swished my spoon around in the broth but no eyeballs popped up. Phew.

  “I doubt they'll be serving monkey brains either,” Azrael whispered from my left. That boy knew me so well.

  “Ha ha,” I rolled my eyes and took a spoonful of soup. It was pretty damn good, if a tad heavy on the cumin.

  “Idiot!” Someone on my left screeched and my gaze shot down the table to see one of those falcon guys sitting back in his chair with his hands spread wide in anger.

  “I'm so sorry,” one of the naga women cowered. She must have spilled something, though I couldn't see anything wrong. She took a length of her sari and rubbed at a spot on the table. It didn't take her more than a second so I assumed it was just a drop of wine. She pulled back, cradling a ceramic jug to her like a shield.

  “You did that on purpose,” the man snarled and stood.

  “No, I would never, Lord Garuda,” the girl cried. “I swear, it was an accident.”

  Then he backhanded her. The girl fell, her wine spilling all over her, and then she immediately started scrambling backwards on the floor. A hush fell over the table as the suparna strode over to the girl. He began to kick her repeatedly. I felt my body start to shake as I inhaled sharply and began to stand but Azrael's hand went to my arm and he shook his head before looking pointedly at Brahma. Brahma, who was seated across from us beside Jambavant, the Riksha King, had his wide eyes fastened on me. He shook his head anxiously, begging me with his gaze, and I sat back with supreme effort. As the girl began to scream, I shut my eyes and tried to tune it out.

  My entire body was tense, the effort it took to remain seated while that poor girl was beaten, cost me. My throat worked convulsively as my eyes blinked back enraged tears and my hands clenched into fists on my lap. I'd never in my life sat by and done nothing in such a situation. Who could? When I'd agreed not to interfere, I'd had no idea it would be this bad. I was about to get up anyway when Azrael's hand slid over my fist. I grabbed at him desperately, leaning my body into his.

  Finally, the girl's screams died to whimpers and her tormentor took his seat. I looked over to see a naga male grab the beaten girl and drag her away. Then I took a deep breath and looked over to the suparna who had beaten her. I memorized his face, the dragon in me rising to fill my heart with vengeance. I may not be able to do anything right at that moment but I was determined to find justice for that girl in the future.

  “Oh it's good to see you, Brahma,” Hanuman said nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened. “Have you seen Shiva lately?”

  “Not in awhile. Have you?” Brahma brought his bowl directly to his mouth to sip from. Personally, I'd lost my appetite.

  “Nah,” Hanuman made a face. “I haven't seen Parvati either. Hey, do you remember when that demon girl tried to seduce Shiva?”

/>   “Demon?” I asked, my interest piqued despite myself.

  “Not our kind of demon,” Azrael said.

  “An asura,” Hanuman nodded. “A Hindu demon, or rather a non-god. Though, as you know, we're all the same really.”

  “A non-god,” I huffed a shaky laugh. “So what happened with the non-god and your friend?”

  “Oh, well the truth is far less interesting than the myth,” Hanuman grinned. “Which would you like to hear first?”

  “The myth please,” It took all of my acting ability to be cordial to this asshole, who I felt was just as responsible for the violence against the naga as that suparna was. This was Hanuman's palace, I know he could have stopped it if he'd wanted to.

  “Good choice,” Hanuman's hand went to Rhiannon's, where it was resting on the table and Rhiannon immediately slid her hand out from beneath his. He barely noticed, just kept talking. “So the myth is that after Parvati's numerous attempts to seduce Shiva, she gave up and went into the forest to become an ascetic. While she was gone, the asuras found out about it and sent a female to impersonate Parvati and kill Shiva. The demon lined her vagina in nails and tried to seduce him.”

  “I'm sorry, did you say nails... and vagina?” I gaped, my anger momentarily forgotten.

  “Yep, nails in her vagina,” Hanuman laughed. “Just wait, it gets better. Shiva didn't fall for the trick. He knew it was a demon and so he strapped a sword to his cock and vanquished her.”

  Thor sputtered into his soup and Hades grimaced while Persephone gasped but Pan chortled along with Hanuman.

  “Vanquished?” I lifted a brow and ignored Pan.

  “He fucked her to death,” Hanuman roared with laughter. “If only that were true.”

  “So what is the truth?” I couldn't help asking.

  “Shiva had an argument with Parvati and she took off to have a tryst with another man,” Hanuman glanced at Brahma, who looked a little nervous. Sarasvati's eyes narrowed on her husband and I found myself holding my breath. “While she was gone, Shiva went on a drinking binge and ended up in an asura bar. This demon picked him up and took him home with her but when it came time to do the deed, Shiva wasn't up for it. He had whiskey dick.”

  “He had whiskey dick,” I repeated in an amazed tone.

  “Yeah, he couldn't get it up,” Hanuman clarified.

  “Yes, I know what whiskey dick is,” I glanced at Rhiannon and saw her roll her eyes at Hanuman.

  “So in order to save face, he tried to tell everyone the asura had a monstrous vagina which could only be conquered with a steel sword.”

  “Shut up,” I gave a little sound of mirth. “And they bought that?”

  “The humans did,” Hanuman chuckled. “Not us, obviously.”

  “So what happened then?” I prompted.

  “Well, Parvati came back looking all sexy with this brand new golden skin,” Hanuman started and I raised an eyebrow. “According to myth, Brahma gave it to her because she was such a pious woman,” Hanuman snorted. “So, human belief and all, she got gold skin. She was so beautiful, Shiva begged her forgiveness and she totally pussy whipped him.”

  “I'm sorry?” I blinked.

  “She pussy whipped him,” Hanuman said again. “Turned him into Lord of the freaking Dance. He was a bad ass warrior before, now he's a dancer.”

  “Like the Irish thing?” I frowned.

  “No, it's just a title,” Hanuman guffawed, “but that's good. I'm biting your line, Godhunter. The Irish thing,” he chuckled again. “Lord of the Dance. How did I miss that?”

  “I have no idea,” Horus said dryly.

  “I have to ask,” I peered from Hanuman to the gypsies at the table. “What's your connection to the Romani?”

  “The Romani are descended from Hindu warriors,” Hanuman explained.

  “No way,” I gaped. “I thought they were Egyptian. That's why they're called gypsies.”

  “That is why they're called gypsies but the assumption was incorrect,” he shook his head. “Their swarthy looks classified them as exotic but the Caucasians got the race wrong. They were originally several tribes of Indian warriors, come together to form an army. They were sent out to prevent an invasion and then kind of just kept traveling.”

  “We took our devel with us,” one of the Romani men added.

  “Pardon?” I blinked at him. “Did you just say you worship the Devil? This is his son, you know?” I pointed to Azrael and the man frowned at me in confusion.

  “Not devil, devel.” Teharon clarified.

  “Exactly,” Hanuman nodded to Teharon. “Devel is the Romani word for god and it's taken from the Hindi word dev, which means divinity.”

  “Damn, you really are descended from Hindus,” I looked back at the Romani man.”

  “Yes,” he said proudly. “Warriors. Our clan worships Vayu.”

  “My father,” Hanuman added. “Which is why they help me out from time to time.”

  “Like when you need to abduct ex-girlfriends,” Rhiannon muttered.

  “So, Huitzilopochtli,” Hanuman ignored Rhiannon and transferred his gaze to Blue. “I heard about you defecting to the human side of the war but I didn't believe it until now.”

  “My priorities shifted,” Blue said simply.

  “Yeah, I heard that too,” Hanuman cast a look my way and I frowned at him. “You're good with the men I hear, Godhunter, but then you're a love goddess now, aren't you?”

  “That's right,” I said cautiously.

  “So tell me then, Love Goddess,” he grinned wickedly at me and took Rhiannon's hand firmly, so she couldn't pull away. “Is love not the root of all evil? Doesn't it make us do horrible things?”

  “Sure it makes some men do bad things,” I shrugged. “But the root of all evil? No. Last I heard, that was in Lucifer's pants.”

  Hanuman gaped at me for a second before bursting into laughter. The rest of the table joined in after his outburst, even Az chuckled a little, but then he'd seen his father's T shirt and knew exactly what I was talking about.

  “I like you!” Hanuman declared. “But seriously, what do you think? You've seen and felt enough love to know the truth. Is it not a dark emotion?”

  I paused, thinking suddenly of the dark fey and the missing Liatris. Was love an emotion that belonged to the dark fey? They could obviously feel it and now that Zinnia had been born, they'd shown the duality of their natures. Love was dark.

  “Yes,” I said finally, in a very serious tone. “It's a dark emotion when you make it so but it's also the brightest. I think that's part of its power, the ability to be both good and evil at once. Still, I don't believe it's the root of all evil, as you put it.”

  “Then what?” He looked at me steadily, those brown eyes almost pleading for guidance. “What makes us do such horrible things? What is the source of evil?”

  “Food,” I said dryly.

  “Excuse me?” He began to smile again.

  “No, really,” I grinned. “I think it's food. Take Adam and Eve for example. Look what they did all because of an apple. Can you imagine if it had been chocolate?”

  Azrael groaned as the rest of the table laughed and Hanuman nodded to me, conceding the win.

  “He's holding my boyfriend hostage so that I'll be with him again,” Rhiannon growled. “Food is not responsible for that.”

  Everyone went quiet.

  “No,” Hanuman's eyes slid slowly to Rhiannon. “You are responsible for that. You left me over nothing, a few bruises, a trifling, and then you take up with a horse-shifter? You forced my hand.”

  “So this is my fault?” She screeched and turned her eyes to him. “You hit me, I leave you, and it's my fault? You're insane, an absolute lunatic! I don't love you! I will never love you!”

  “I think Rhiannon has had a little too much soma,” Hanuman gestured behind him and a monkey came forward to take Rhiannon's arm. “Please escort her back to my chambers.”

  The monkey lifted the screaming Rhiannon and carried
her away.

  “So, that brings me to the subject of my men,” I said casually and Hanuman blinked at me in surprise. Hey, if he could do nonchalant after a woman was beaten, I could do the same after his ex-girlfriend is pulled away from dinner screaming. “How about you let them go for the sake of our new friendship?”

  “Oh, I would love to, Godhunter,” he tilted his head. “I would very much like to have you as a friend but your men killed several vanara in their attempt to free that knavish horse man and I can't just let them go. It would be bad for my reputation.”

  “I see,” I cracked my neck. “So what would you like in exchange for their release?”

  “Oh, what a question,” he grinned wickedly at me. “You know, if you could prove to us that you're as talented a fighter as they say you are, I think I could release your men without feeling any kind of embarrassment.”

  “Prove how exactly?” I asked as a knot formed in my belly. I knew just what he would say. It had been awhile but I was familiar with that look. Blood lust.

  “A battle,” he grinned. “A great and valiant show of your strength. A heroic attempt to free your lovers!” He clapped his hands. “How brilliant would that be?”

  “What about Constantin?” I knew better than to ask for Rhiannon's release. We'd have to think up another plan to free her.

  “Oh no, him I will not let go of,” Hanuman's expression went dark. “Not for any price.”

  “Alright then, how many would I have to fight to free the rest of them?” I asked as Azrael's hand clenched on mine.

  “I will fight in her stead,” Az interrupted and I glanced at him in irritation.

  “Alas,” Hanuman sighed. “Your prowess is proven, Lord Death. It's your consort we wish to test.” He looked back to me. “Three opponents. I believe that is traditional. What do you say, Lady Vervain?”

  “I say, bring it on,” I leaned forward a little anxiously. “Let's do this.”

  “Oh, not right this second,” he chuckled. “We've only just begun our feast. You'll stay the night of course and in the morning, you will fight. That way you'll be rested and refreshed. I do want to see you at your best.”