The Ghost and the Femme Fatale

by Alice Kimberley

  "Excuse me for being rude," he said smoothly, his big, sleepy brown eyes returning to mine.

  "This is Mrs. McClure," Eddie said.

  "Penelope," I volunteered.

  "She owns this store-"

  "With my aunt Sadie," I interjected.

  The man's smile seemed genuine. He was tanned and athletic-not quite as handsome as Robert Mitchum playing the leading-man doctor in Where Danger Lives, but very close.

  Randall Rubino stood a few inches taller than I, but he was probably even taller. I was wearing low heels, while the doctor wore scuffed boat shoes with flat rubber soles. He was also carrying a large beige canvas backpack over his shoulder. Was his medical kit in there? I wondered.

  He stepped forward, extended his tanned right hand. "My name is-"

  "Dr. Rubino," Chief Ciders's voice boomed from the archway. "Your services are required back here immediately."

  "Right, Chief Ciders. On my way," Rubino replied. He shook my hand and offered a wink to go along with it. I couldn't help but breathe a little easier-and I couldn't fault Dr. Rubino's bedside manner, either.

  Sadie noticed the wink, too. She quickly sidled up to me. "Dr. Rubino seems quite nice, don't you think?"

  What a stuffed monkey, Jack scoffed. This guy's got Ivy League written all over him, which means you won't be able to tell him a thing. He'll already know it all.

  Ignoring Jack, I watched Dr. Rubino cross the sales floor on his way to the Community Events space.

  "I'm sure he's married," I quietly told Sadie.

  Inside of ten seconds, Sadie was beside Eddie whispering questions. Finally, she came back to me.

  "Eddie says he's divorced," she confided, "and that's why he's doing this work for Ciders-and any other townships in the area that need his services. Apparently he used to have a lot of money; now he has a lot less, but who cares about that? I think he's quite a catch."

  Go for it, Betty Boop. See if I care.

  "Stop it! I'm not interested!"

  Sadie frowned and I realized I'd said those words aloud.

  "Well, you don't have to decide right now," Sadie replied with a huff. "Give the man a chance to ask you out for coffee!"

  I squeezed my eyes shut. "I'm sorry, Aunt Sadie, I didn't intend to say that to you."

  "It's all right, dear," she said, patting my shoulder. "We're all a little rattled by Dr. Lilly's fall."

  Ten minutes passed, then fifteen. Sadie rearranged books on the film noir display. I moved to the window and watched the crowd thicken outside. The store's opening hour came and went without anyone emerging from the Events room. I wondered if Buy the Book was going to open at all today-though that was probably the least of our worries at this point.

  Suddenly Seymour pushed himself out of the wooden rocker. "That's it! I'm out of here," he declared, checking his Wonder Woman watch. "It's after ten, and I've waited long enough for Chief Ciders to take my statement. If Barney Fife needs to reach me, he knows where I'll be-working my route, 'cause the mail is like showbiz. It must go on!"

  Officer Franzetti stepped forward. "The chief told me everyone stays here until he takes your statements."

  "The chief is a local yokel, Pizza Boy," Seymour shot back. "His authority stretches about as far as Quindicott Pond. The federal government's interest in an efficient mail service supersedes his meager jurisdiction."

  Eddie put his hands on his gun belt. "Cut the double talk, Seymour. You're not going anywhere, no matter what you say-"

  Seymour flushed crimson. "Listen, Franzetti! Step out of the way and you won't get hurt-"

  "All right, all right, what's going on here?" Chief Ciders barked. He tramped into the store with Dr. Rubino and young Bull McCoy in tow.

  Yep, quipped Jack. McCoy is Chief Donut's nephew all right. Same sloped brow and slack jaw. Same funny-farm stare, too.

  "Look, Chief, I've got a job to do, too," Seymour complained. "Either detain me or let me get back to it."

  Ciders nodded to Eddie. "Let the man go. Tarnish has mail to mis-deliver. I'll get his statement later, for what it's worth."

  "So, you're finished with your investigation?" Seymour asked as he inched toward the front door.

  "The preliminary phase," Ciders replied, giving Seymour his back.

  Seymour stopped. "Well?"

  Ciders frowned, looked up from the clipboard in his hand. "Don't you have work to do?" Seymour nodded. "Then get the heck out of here!"

  Seymour shrugged and opened the door, smacking into the crowd of film festival fans waiting for the store to open. "Clear a path, people! Official government employee coming through!"

  "Hey, in there, are you ever going to open?!" someone yelled from the crowd.

  Eddie closed the door.

  I faced Chief Ciders. "Well? Have you completed your investigation?"

  The beefy man sighed. "We're finished. And you can open, once we're sure you're providing a safe working environment. What was this woman, Dr. Lilly, doing on your ladder? Was she a paid employee?"

  "She was an academic, a film historian, and an author. She was helping us get ready for her book signing."

  "I see," said the chief. "Your store does carry insurance, right?"

  "Of course, but why would that matter?"

  "Because, Mrs. McClure, you allowed her to climb a ladder unsupervised. That's negligence on your part. Simply put: Dr. Lilly had a fatal accident while working in your store-"

  "Accident!" I cried.

  I warned you, Jack gloated.

  CHAPTER 7. A Doctor in the House

  My, my, my. Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains.

  – Philip Marlowe, The Big Sleep, 1946

  "YES, MRS. MCCLURE, an accident," Chief Ciders reiterated. "Dr. Lilly fell off a ladder-"

  "No! She was pushed!" I blurted out.

  Bull McCoy snorted. "You were right, Uncle… I mean, Chief. You said she was gonna try and call it murder!"

  "Shut up, Bull," Ciders warned.

  "How do you know it wasn't murder?" I demanded.

  "As I see it, Dr. Lilly tried to fix the banner," Ciders said. "She lost her balance and fell. She died when she slammed her head against the corner of the stage."

  "It looks like an accident," I replied, "but that's the diabolical part. Don't you see? Someone attempted to drop a speaker on Dr. Lilly last night-"

  "You've got your facts wrong there, Mrs. McClure," said the chief. "Brainert Parker reported to me that it was a former actress-someone named Hedda Geist-who almost got clobbered."

  "It was Dr. Lilly who was supposed to be on stage. Hedda was under the speaker when it fell, but she only came up to the stage at the last minute-"

  "That's enough, Mrs. McClure," the chief interrupted.

  "At least let me finish explaining!"

  The chief waved his hand. "What happened at the theater last night was an accident, too, that's all. Clearly the result of faulty construction." Ciders rubbed his fleshy chin. "Makes me wonder if the Movie Town was built to code. Better check in with the Town Council on that one. Marjorie's sure to be interested-"

  "Two accidents in two days? One nearly fatal, the other deadly. And both involving the same woman?" I shook my head. "That's too much coincidence for me. And it should be for you, too. I want another official opinion-"

  "That's why I'm here, Mrs. McClure," said Dr. Rubino, stepping forward before I could suggest that the state police be called in.

  "I thoroughly examined Dr. Lilly's body," Rubino continued. "While I still have to perform an autopsy to be absolutely certain, my preliminary findings confirm Chief Ciders's theory. Dr. Lilly appeared to have died of an injury to the skull. The scene itself makes it clear the injury was inflicted by the edge of your stage. We have a fallen ladder at the scene, and we have a witness in your own aunt, the last person to see the deceased alive. She mentioned to the chief that Dr. Lilly was indeed trying to hang a banner, and wasn't it true that your store was locked from the inside?"


  I wanted to scream, but I knew it wouldn't give the man confidence in my sanity.

  "Mrs. McClure?" Rubino pressed. "Was the store locked?"

  "Yes," I said, clenching my fists. "The store was locked, but Dr. Lilly could have let someone in herself. The dead bolt wasn't thrown, and the killer could have relocked the door simply by setting the handle on lock from the inside and slamming it shut when departing-"

  "If I had to render an opinion right now," Dr. Rubino interrupted, "I'd say Dr. Lilly's death was a tragic accident. Nothing more."

  "You're wrong."

  You tell him, baby!

  Dr. Rubino's dark brown eyebrows lifted in absolute surprise. Clearly he was used to having the last word at a crime scene. Having his conclusions so directly and adamantly challenged was an obvious shock. He glanced at Ciders, who shrugged and looked away.

  "Mrs. McClure…" The doctor stepped closer. He lowered his voice. " If Dr. Lilly were actually murdered-that is to say, if a person had entered this store and killed her, there would have been clues that I would not have missed."

  "Such as?" I folded my arms and tapped my foot.

  "Dr. Lilly would have resisted an attack, you see?" he explained in painfully slow syllables. "If she fought and the killer had to subdue her, there would be marks on her arms, perhaps her throat."

  The doctor made gestures to his arm and neck, as if I were still learning the names of body parts. "These bruises or scratches are called 'defensive' wounds." He put air quotes around "defensive."

  Will ya tell this clown you've learned the alphabet already? Didn't I tell you Ivy Leaguers are the worst?

  "Yes, yes," I told the doctor (and Jack). "I know what defensive wounds are. But what if someone pushed Dr. Lilly off that ladder? Or pulled the ladder out from under her?"

  Dr. Rubino rubbed his forehead. He glanced at Chief Ciders, who suddenly looked our way again with a questioning expression.

  I congratulated myself. Now at least the chief was considering the possibility of foul play!

  "Well… I suppose it's possible" Dr. Rubino was forced to admit. He frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. "But it would be a one-in-ten chance that Dr. Lilly's head would strike the platform. For someone to push her so she landed in just such a way as to cause death… " His voice trailed off and he shook his head. "No, I just don't see that as likely."

  Chief Ciders sighed and looked away again.

  "But someone could have pushed her," I quickly countered, trying to pry the chief's mind back open. "That same someone could have dragged Dr. Lilly to the stage and made sure her head struck it before she had a chance to fight back."

  "Chief, the ambulance is here," Officer Franzetti called.

  Ciders slapped his knee with the clipboard. "Good. We've spent enough time here."

  "But-"

  "That's enough, Mrs. McClure," said the chief. "You're letting your imagination run away with you." He glanced around at the novels on our shelves. "It's no wonder," he muttered condescendingly, "the business you're in."

  "I didn't imagine last night's attempt on Dr. Lilly's life-" "It was an accident," Ciders shot back. "Last night and this morning, and that's how I'm reporting both incidences." The chief moved to the front door, and then turned to face me. "If I were you, Mrs. McClure, I'd forget about trying to sell that cock-and-bull story of yours and hire a good lawyer. Your business is likely to get slapped with a lawsuit over this. So brace yourself for more bad news: My accident report will probably send your insurance premiums soaring."

  A SHORT TIME later, Chief Ciders and his nephew were parting the crowd in front of my store to make way for a grim procession. Along with everyone else, I watched the paramedics carry Dr. Lilly's bagged-up body to the waiting ambu-lance. Her remains would be delivered to the local hospital, where Dr. Rubino was scheduled to perform an autopsy later in the day.

  Officer Franzetti lingered behind and, to my surprise, so did Dr. Rubino. "You don't mind if I browse a little, do you?" the doctor asked me. "It's my day off, and I haven't read a good book in awhile."

  "Be our guest," Sadie called when I failed to answer.

  The doctor nodded then put a hand on my shoulder. "Would you like a prescription, Mrs. McClure?" he said quietly. "I can write one for you, just something to calm your nerves. I'm actually a little worried about your reaction to all of this."

  I fixed a level gaze on him. "I'm not in shock, Doctor. And I'm not delusional, either, despite what Chief Ciders thinks."

  You tell him, baby.

  I swallowed my reply to Jack. I couldn't risk a non sequitur now.

  Good idea, doll. The doc's already sized you up for crazy pills. Better not give him cause to send you to a cackle factory.

  "A what?" I asked the ghost.

  A cackle factory. Don't you have those nowadays?

  "Have what exactly?"

  A funny farm? Nut house? Mental hospital? Insane asy-

  "Okay! I get it!"

  The doctor frowned. "Mrs. McClure?"

  I blinked. "Yes?"

  "Events like this can be very stressful for a person. Perhaps you should take a rest. The chief mentioned that you and your aunt live upstairs. Maybe if you lie down, take a nap for a few hours-"

  I shook my head. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. And I have a business to run."

  "I understand… well, you do have a very nice store, I must say." He smiled and made a show of glancing around. "I'll just browse a little then. You don't mind?"

  I folded my arms. "Be our guest."

  While the doctor began browsing the store, Eddie approached me. "You okay, Pen?"

  I took a shaky breath, still upset over my clash with Chief Ciders. "Life goes on," I told Eddie. I glanced in Rubino's direction. He was leafing through a frontlist Tess Gerritsen in the New Release section. "Looks like I've already got one customer… and we've got to open the store for the others waiting out there, even if we don't have a guest speaker for our morning event."

  "You don't have a place to put a guest speaker, either."

  I squeezed my eyes shut, considering the physical state of the Community Events room. It would have to be cleaned before the public could come into the store. But the thought of cleaning up all that blood made me shudder.

  "I guess I'd better get started," I said softly. When I tried to walk away, however, Eddie gripped my arm.

  "No, Pen, let me do it. It's the least I can do for writing you that littering ticket this morning."

  "Oh, Eddie, that's very sweet. But I couldn't ask you-"

  "It's Saturday night to me," he said with a shrug. "You have no idea what I see on that highway after the bars close. It's nothing I haven't seen before."

  "But-"

  "Thank you, Eddie," Sadie cut in, stepping up to us. "It's above and beyond the call of duty, and Pen and I appreciate it. Just come with me, and I'll show you where we keep the cleaning supplies so you can get started."

  Eddie smiled, squeezed my shoulder, and then followed Sadie into the Community Events room, which led to the restrooms, store room, and supply closet.

  When they were gone, I noticed that Dr. Rubino had discovered our Film Noir Festival display near the front window. He appeared to be quite interested in one book in par-ticular, Portraits in Shadow, a coffee-table book written by Hedda Geist- Middleton.

  The oversized book of photos featured dramatic black-and-white stills from Hedda's Gotham Features years. The small amount of accompanying text amounted to short anecdotes from Hedda about shooting her movies and working with leading men and directors.

  Dr. Rubino looked up suddenly and caught me staring. "This is an older book, isn't it?" he asked.

  I nodded. A small New England publisher had released the book about two years before, without any publicity. It sold few copies, according to the publisher's sales rep, who'd confided in Sadie and me that Hedda was lucky they'd kept the book in print. This weekend's film festival was a chance for her to move out their inventory a
nd, with the help of Barry Yello's Web site, maybe even get some national buzz going.

  "Hedda Geist herself will be signing these books in the Community Events room, at five o'clock today," I told Rubino.

  He smiled. "Hedda mentioned coming to Quindicott for a film festival, but I lost track of the date. I hadn't realized it was this weekend."

  "You know Hedda? Personally?" I asked, more than a little surprised.

  "Yes, she and her…" Dr. Rubino paused. "Well, the long and short of it is that Hedda is a patient of my Newport practice."

  I was about to question him further when the delivery bell rang. "Excuse me, I have to get this."

  I unlocked the front door to find Vinny Nardini, our DDS delivery man, standing there in his brown uniform beside several boxes on a dolly.

  "Hi-Yo!" Vinny said with a grin. "Opening the store late today, Pen? You and your aunt party too hearty at that Finch Inn last night?"

  I frowned down at the boxes. They were marked SAN FERNANDO UNIVERSITY PRESS, and I realized with a shiver that these were the very books Dr. Lilly was supposed to be signing for us at noon. The shipment had finally arrived, safe and sound, and I felt tremendously guilty that I'd failed to keep the book's author that way inside my own store.

  Vinny scratched his brown beard. "Penelope?"

  "Come in, Vinny, come in!" called Aunt Sadie, walking up behind me. "You know where to take those, don't you?"

  "Sure thing," said Vinny, whistling as he wheeled the dead author's books toward the back of the store.

  CHAPTER 8. Dead Speakers Don't Talk

  Funny how gentle people get with you once you're dead.

  – Sunset Boulevard, 1950

  STANDING BESIDE ME, Sadie put her arm around my shoulders. "What shall we do with Dr. Lilly's books, do you think? Put them on the selling floor with some sort of note?"

  I shook my head. "To tell you the truth, I'd feel terrible hawking them today."

  Sadie nodded. "You're right. Let's hold them in the storeroom for now. I'm sure Dr. Lilly would want her book available to the public, but I think it's best if we let Brainert handle the announcement of what happened. We'll just focus on other books today and let the poor woman rest in peace."