Broken Heart (Broken Heart #1)

by Angel Rose

  hurting so badly inside that I placed my hand over my mouth and started to cry. Then he spoke softly as he walked over to me, “And now here you come, waltzing into my life, surprising me,

  awakening the man that was dead for so many years… inside, here.” He grabbed my hand gently and placed it on his chest near his heart. “You. Make. Me. Want. To. Love. And I could only love

  you.” He kissed my fingertips then placed my hands on his face. “Let me show you, Jenesis. Please…I need you. Don’t push me away,” he whispered.

  His words cut through me like a knife. Everything he said I felt for years and every bit of loneliness I have encountered in all my other relationships except with him. He made me feel wanted. He

  made me feel loved. I couldn’t take it anymore. I loved him so much and I wanted to forgive him. Forgive him for torturing me for days. For abandoning me when I needed him the most. And for taking my virginity, even though I gave it to him.

  “I’m afraid,” I whimpered.

  “Don’t be afraid…I will never hurt you again…never.” I stood paralyzed for a moment, and then I threw my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek tenderly. I cried…straight from the pit of

  my stomach. I toppled over as if I were in pain. And I was…I was in pain. I was hurting and only he…could fix me.

  Michael hugged me tightly and gave me baby kisses all over my face then slowly parted my lips and slid his tongue inside of my mouth. I kissed him back holding every emotion back except for the love that I had for him and it made me feel weak and wobbly at the knees. I was drunk from

  his kiss and from his love. He carried me to the bedroom and lay me gently on the bed without letting go of my lips. I missed him so much. It felt so good to hold him, to kiss him, to love him. I

  was hoping this would never happen again because it was so hard the first time, and if it did…I would probably die.

  “Jen, I only want to be with you. I might be older and more experienced…but I just finished acting like a child. I don’t deserve you…but I’m going to make it up to you.” He wiped my tears with his

  lips, and I closed my eyes enjoying being engulfed in his kisses. He kissed my cheeks, my nose, and then my lips sliding his tongue in and out of my mouth. I needed to kiss him like that. I needed

  to feel him. His touch hit my core and the need for him to be deep inside of me made me call out to him,

  “Michael,” I whispered. I took his hand and placed it between my legs. He rubbed me gently with his palm. I pushed against his hand then I unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them slowly past my hips and down my thighs. He stood above me, watching me kick off my jeans one leg at a time,

  and then I lifted my blouse above my head and removed it. I reached behind my back to unsnap my bra, but he quickly beat me to it. My breasts fell into his hands and he gently swallowed each

  nipple whole with his mouth, he sucked and licked until they were hard and red. My head fell back in delight as I slid my hand into my panties and touched my flesh that was moist and swollen.

  Michael slid his tongue down my belly and took a playful bite at my hand that was pleasuring his favorite part of my body. He pushed my hand away, and as he was about to place his beautiful

  heart shaped lips on my pulsating flesh, I heard a knock at the door. I grabbed Michael’s head and lifted it up. “Michael, the door, someone’s knocking.” I sat up, slipped up my jeans, both legs at

  the same time and walked over to the door with the moisture sliding between my thighs. I could hear Michael sigh as he followed behind me.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s me, Margaret.” I turned around and looked over at Michael. My eyes widened and my eyebrows were raised.

  “What should I do?” I whispered to Michael. “Go back to the bedroom I’ll get rid of her.”

  “Actually, I have to leave. I have to meet Dave.”

  “Dave? Why? No…please don’t go,” I said nervously. Hoping he wasn’t running out on me again I grabbed him by the waist.

  “I’m not leaving you again, ever. Trust me…I will never do anything to hurt you again.” Michael kissed me softly on my lips. “I’ll be back, tonight.”

  “Michael, can we go to your place? I’ve never been there before and I thought maybe…” My eyes twinkled at him like a shy little girl.

  “Of course, baby.” He kissed me on the forehead then he opened the door.

  “Michael, how are you?”

  “I’m good Margaret, see you later, baby. Pack a bag. No pack a suitcase, you’re staying with me for a while. I’ll pick you up tonight,” he said as he walked pass Margaret, turned around and then

  winked at me and walked down the stairs. I followed him with my eyes. My heart was thrashing. I was so afraid he wasn’t coming back.

  “Margaret, please, come in.” I shut the door behind her.

  “Thanks, are you busy?” I giggled internally at her question. I wanted to tell her how she interrupted Michael eating me out, but I would definitely be giving her too much information.

  “No, come into the kitchen. Would you like some coffee?” I grabbed two mugs from the cabinet.

  “Yes, please.”

  “So, what’s up?” I set up the Keurig for a French vanilla coffee.

  “I wanted to talk…of course, if you have some time.” Her voice was low and her eyes became glossy as if she was going to cry.

  “Hey, is everything okay?” I placed the mugs near the coffee maker and sat at the table with her.

  “I love him so much…but I don’t think he loves me.” She looked up at me as tears streamed down her cheeks.

  “Dave is really hard to read…but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.” I gently rubbed her arm and she wiped her tears with a napkin from the table.

  “I’m a grown woman already, but my heart feels like a young teenager.

  He’s changed my life. He makes me feel so…alive.” She adjusted herself in the chair realizing she was slouching a little. She sat glancing around the room. I knew she felt uncomfortable so I wanted to change the subject.

  “Listen, you can fall in love at any age. As much as I have trust issues, I let Michael into my heart.” I stood up to get the coffee.

  “It’s funny…we both met men at the gallery that night…and we both fell in love.” She sighed heavily.

  “Yes…Michael and I met before…at John Jay,” I said happily.

  “Really?” she looked up at me and tilted her head to the side.

  “Yes…in the elevator and then it turned out he was the guest speaker in my class. Isn’t that something?” I leaned against the windowsill and glanced out of the window.

  “It’s fate. I always wanted to go back to school,” she said pensively.

  “It’s never too late you know,” I said as I grabbed the mugs for the coffee.

  I poured the coffee as it was being made. I turned around and planted the coffee mugs on the table. I lifted my cup to my lips and said, “Do you know someone named Tilly?” I asked.

  “Yes, Yes I do. As a matter of fact, she called me the night that she met you. She was so happy for Michael. Eddie and Michael have been friends since childhood, so they say.”

  “She’s beautiful.”

  “She is, and she is the sweetest person you could ever meet. She wanted to get together, but I told her it wasn’t a good time since you and Michael were separated.”

  “You mean, he didn’t run to Eddie and tell him what was going on?”

  “No, they haven’t heard from Michael. According to Dave, Michael was distraught. Dave saw Michael at court a couple of times for that Danielson case. I guess they had a chance to talk then.”

  “I’ll be honest with you Margaret, I was very upset with Dave, but it didn’t last very long. I love him very much. He’s the father I’ve never had and I mean that with all of my heart.” I smiled at her and it felt good to admit that to her.

  “I’m glad. He worships the ground you walk o
n and he didn’t kill Michael because he knows how much you love him.” She giggled and then reached for an Oreo cookie on the table.

  “Hmmm…these are my favorite, but it’s going to go straight to my ass!” We laughed out loud together.

  “Here’s to falling in love!” I raised my coffee mug in the air.

  “…And to new beginnings! Our friendship and our men!” Margaret said laughingly. We clinked our mugs together and laughed like two little schoolgirls smitten by the boys next door. It was a new beginning…and I was ready…ready to take on the world.

  ***

  Michael picked me up as promised that night. His apartment was beautiful, definitely a bachelor pad, but not your typical bachelor pad. It was immaculate and everything was placed meticulously. It reminded me of Dave’s apartment. He gave me a tour of the apartment as we walked around

  with champagne glasses sipping on Dom Perignon. We walked into his living room and passed his sleek black Leather sofas in the living room and a red Persian rug that rested underneath them. The

  dining area was part of the living room and a rectangular glass dining room table with silver legged chairs fit perfectly as a divider. He walked behind me holding me by the waist as we entered the

  bedroom to a queen sized bed with a black leather headboard and silk black sheets nestled underneath a gold and black bedspread.

  “Do you like silk?” he asked sipping on his champagne.

  “Yes, I do,” I said flirtatiously. I passed my tongue across my bottom lip and he pulled in for a taste. I laughed and he pulled away.

  “You’re so fresh, you know that. I love silk…more?” he grabbed my glass and set it on the night table.

  “Michael, we didn’t see the bathroom,” I said politely.

  “You really know how to ruin the moment,” he said softly.

  “Come on…show me the bathroom.” We walked towards the bathroom and he opened the door.

  “Wow,” I said. He had a garden tub with gray tiled floors and half of the wall designed with white and gray tiles. His whole apartment reeked “sexy single man,” and he fit the profile. He was right.

  He did have money and a lot of it. I was a little intimidated by him, his looks, his car, his power, and his money.

  “I believe the bedroom was the last showing, Miss Heart.” He grinned devilishly. “May I take off your clothes now?”

  “Yes, you may.” I stood in front of him anxiously waiting for him to start stripping off my clothes. His bedroom had mirrored walls on either side of the bed, and the closets doors were mirrored,

  too. Everywhere I looked, I could see the expression on his face, and he wanted me, badly…and I let him. I let him have me the way he wanted. I needed to please him because that made me happy.

  He stopped for a moment and walked over to dim the lights. He walked out of the bedroom and came back with some candles, then lit them on the dresser and night table. He left the room again.

  “Michael, where are you going?” I asked tired of watching him walk back and forth.

  “Just one more thing, I promise,” he said as he walked out. He came back in with white orchids in his hands.

  “I love you, Jenesis. Every moment we spend together is special, and you deserve nothing but the best,” he whispered. He kissed my neck and then stopped and lifted the necklace that Dave bought me with his hand.

  “What’s this?” he said staring at the diamond necklace then glaring back at me.

  “This,” I said as I grabbed it gently from him. “Dave gave it to me,” I whispered nervously. I didn’t want to do this right now. Why? Why? Did I wear the necklace today!

  “Dave? Why did he buy you a necklace? With diamonds no less? Pretty expensive, don’t you think?” he said with his lips pressed tightly together.

  “It was my birthday,” I said softly looking away.

  “Your birthday? When? Why didn’t you tell me?” he said tilting his head to the side. He seemed totally confused.

  “I did something I shouldn’t have. I lied about my birthday on the job application, and Dave thought it was next month, on Valentine’s Day.

  Early birthday gift.” I walked away from him and stood by the door.

  “Real early, we’re still in January. Why did you lie?” he asked curiously.

  “I didn’t want to write my real birth date down on the application I filled out for him. My parents were killed on my birthday…in a car accident. I can never celebrate my birthday again.” I let out a sigh and shook my head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the necklace. I feel even worse that I

  lied to Dave.” I inhaled deeply and let out a sigh of relief. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I had no idea” He held me by the waist.

  “How could you? I didn’t tell you. I didn’t even tell you when my birthday was.”

  “When’s your real birthday?”

  “November twenty-first.”

  “Oh…” he nodded his head then held me closer to him.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked curiously.

  “Nothing, it’s just that…that’s my mother’s birthday, too,” he said as he lowered his head.

  “Really?” I gazed up at him realizing he was hurting a little. “Are you okay?” I whispered.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I guess it will be a double celebration. Do you want to talk about your parents?” His facial expression changed from sad to bothered.

  He didn’t want to talk about his mother and I didn’t want to talk about mine.

  “No…not now,” I whispered. The subject hurt my heart, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hold it in. “Can you just hold me for a little while?” The tears flooded my eyes as I cried into his chest.

  “Of course baby, anything you want,” he said as he caressed my back. “We’ll order something to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry but thank you…for listening,” I said as I wiped my tears with my hands.

  “Come here, lay down with me. I’ll hold you all night…and I’ll make love to you, too.” He kissed my nose and slid his fingers down my face gently.

  “You’ll never hurt again, Jenesis. Never, I’ll protect you…always.” He held me close, and I snuggled myself into his chest. I felt so safe in his arms, and I wanted him to hold me all night

  long and never let me go. I fell into a deep sleep, warm and cozy and placed my head near his beating heart. I loved him so much, it almost hurt.

  I started to visit to Dr. Logan regularly again, and I was still having a hard time pulling myself together, and the frequency of my nightmares were not diminishing as much as I wanted them to, even though I was learning how to deal with my past…and my future, Michael. The monster in

  my closet, the monster underneath my bed, my father, was still lingering and I knew in the back of my mind, he would destroy my relationship one way or the other.

  My relationship with Margaret blossomed into a whole-hearted friendship. Our Sunday brunches now included Margaret, Michael, Tilly, and Eddie. We were a family. Michael and Dave were

  tolerating each other for the most part, still eyeing one another with caution once in a while, but making an effort to keep the peace for me. I loved them both for that, and I was happier than I had

  ever been in my life. They both wanted to make me happy and they both needed me. Dave, a father figure and Michael, my knight in shining armor, what could be more perfect than that?

  ***

  Summer was quickly approaching in New York, and the rows of trees in Central Park took center stage as the spectators walked along the concrete jungle. Central park was so picturesque. I loved

  the fact that there were so many people in one place enjoying each other, even though it can get so overwhelmingly crowded.

  “You know Jenesis, I was thinking,” Michael said as he held my hand in his walking down Fifth Avenue towards the park.

  “About?” I looked up at him, his gentle blue-green eyes grinning at me. My stomach winced a little and a bad taste reached
my lips.

  “Well…we’ve been together for a couple of months now. We haven’t had any major problems. You love me and I sure as hell love you. Maybe…” he stopped in the middle of the street. Oh no! Not here! What’s he going to do?

  “I thought maybe we could move in together. I mean, you practically live in my apartment, and it would be nice, now that you’re going to start your new job…we can start our new life…together; just you and me.” He held both of my hands ignoring the rude New Yorkers slamming into us

  giving us dirty looks and making rude comments as they passed. I looked at him tilting my head to the side trying to read his eyes, trying to see the sincerity of his question. My heart skipped a

  beat then awoke with a pounding jolt of excitement. I felt nauseous for a moment, but ignored it and gave him an answer.

  “Yes!” I blurted out, standing on my tippy toes and grabbing him around his neck to kiss his nose.

  “Yes, as in…yes?” He lifted me off of the ground and swung me around in the middle of the sidewalk, as I wrapped my legs around him, trying to avoid crashing into the innocent bystanders.

  “Yes,” I whispered in his ear. He stared at me with those fierce eyes, then dropped them to my lips and slowly motioned me to kiss him, tenderly, softly, letting his tongue slide in and out of my mouth. I could be in heaven every night and every day, in our bed in our home, without worries.

  Only he could take me to heaven and then back down to Earth the way I wanted him to, with his touch, with his tongue, with his body, with his soul. Take me there baby…take me there.

  “Damn! Get a room!” a passerby shouted. We opened our eyes and giggled into each other’s mouths, never letting go of our kiss.

  Michael slid me down his chest without removing me from his lips. He was keeled over, he was so tall, and then he finally released me.

  “Come on, let’s look now.”

  “Right now?”

  “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  ***

  Later that week, Tim, the real estate agent called to show us a couple of places. The price range was ridiculous and definitely out of our league. Michael seemed so disillusioned after looking at the apartments Tim showed us. We decided to take a cab home and call it a day.