Whispers of Moonlight

by Lori Wick

  There had been no struggle. Convinced the sheriff had the wrong man, Travis lifted his hands and allowed Turlock to take the gun from his hip. He was concerned about the money in his coat pocket, but as soon as they arrived at the jailhouse, he watched the man with the badge put everything into the safe. Then the nightmare had begun. There was no reasoning with him. Travis had tried every argument he could think of to get Turlock to believe him, but to no avail. Turlock had immediately written to the sheriff whose name was on the poster and eventually gone to see Grady, but Travis remained behind bars.

  The meal that night was tasty and plentiful, but Travis ate with little interest. Andrew Wagner had trusted him. And Rebecca. Would her heart forget him before he returned? The plate was still half full when he set it by the bars and stretched out on the bunk. His boots hung a laughable distance over the end, but he didn’t feel like laughing. Once again he had the feeling that no one was up there. At times it seemed that God was real and working on the earth, but not now. Travis felt as he never had before that he was on his own.

  “There isn’t going to be anything left of you if you keep on this way,” Andrew commented during dinner, but Rebecca only shrugged and tried to smile. She knew she was horrid company these days.

  “He’ll come back, Reba,” Andrew told her with more conviction than he felt. “You wait and see. He’ll be back.”

  Rebecca looked at the worry in his eyes. She nodded and tried to perk up for his sake.

  “Lavena’s taking me to town with her tomorrow.”

  “Good! Buy yourself something pretty.”

  “Well, she’s just going for supplies and such.”

  “That doesn’t mean you can’t shop. I’ll get Lucky to go in with you, and you can spend the day.”

  “Shouldn’t you ask Lavena?”

  “Shouldn’t you ask Lavena what?” The woman who’d heard her name spoke from the edge of the room, hands on her hips.

  “I want Rebecca to make a day of it tomorrow. You stay in town until she’s done.”

  “I’m an old woman, Andrew Wagner! I’m too tired to be running around Boulder on a winter day.” With that she stormed out.

  Andrew winked at Rebecca. “She says you can take all the time you need.”

  Rebecca laughed for the first time in days. Andrew hated to spoil the mood, but he had to have some answers.

  “I heard from your aunt today.”

  “Did you?” Rebecca’s look was open as she speared a potato with her fork. “Has she forgiven me yet?”

  Andrew smiled. “You still haven’t written her, have you?”

  “No.” Rebecca’s voice grew soft. “I don’t know if I can. One of these days, I’d like to explain.”

  Andrew pulled the letter from his pocket and watched as she read. Her face was sad and regretful, but not guilty. He knew it wouldn’t be, but the whole thing was more curious than ever.

  “I know you’re sad about Travis, Reba, and I don’t want to add to that, but I’d like us to talk tonight.”

  She nodded. “All right, Papa. Shall I bring some coffee to the living room?”

  Andrew smiled. That was definitely an eastern custom. “Yes, I’ll wait for you in there.”

  She wasn’t long in joining him, but long after they had their coffee, Rebecca sat mute. Rebecca felt a headache coming on. How should she begin?

  “A few years ago Hannah stopped leaving the house. I mean, we went to church, but she would stay home most of the time. She wanted me home too, but whenever I would question her, she would change her mind and let me go, almost as if she were afraid I would grow angry. It was strange because we never quarreled. And the reason she stayed home wasn’t to clean or anything; in fact, the house just fell into worse repair as the months went on.” Rebecca shook her head for a moment.

  “Well, anyway, this one day was very odd because I was home alone. I couldn’t remember being home alone in at least two years, but there I was on my own when the bell rang at the door. I went, and there was the mailman; we had letter service in our neighborhood,” she explained, “but anyway, he said he’d missed a letter for me. Well, it was from you, the last one you had sent. I opened it right away and knew something was wrong.

  “Hannah was just next door at Mrs. Wood’s, but it never occurred to me to go get her. I read your letter, and suddenly everything became clear. It was your handwriting, and yet it wasn’t. And the things you said, the things about wanting to see me. I was amazed.”

  Andrew’s mind raced with where she could be headed, but he remained quiet and hoped that she would explain.

  “I felt cold,” Rebecca told him, her mind far away, her eyes on the fire. “I’ll never forget how cold I felt, but then I looked at the stairs and for some reason I thought of Aunt Hannah’s room. I was never allowed in there. She didn’t share a room with Uncle Franklin. It wasn’t at all unusual for Uncle Franklin to send me to find something in his room, but Hannah never wanted me in hers.

  “I didn’t stop to think; I just walked. I walked up the stairs to her room, and I began to look around. It wasn’t long before I found them.” Rebecca looked at her father. “Every letter you’d ever written me, Papa. The box was huge. She had been taking all of your letters and opening them. She always handed the letter to me already open, not because she read them, she said, but because she had a silver letter opener and it made the slit so neat.

  “It was all a lie,” she whispered, her face a mask of pain. “She had taken every one of your letters, read them, and then rewrote them in your handwriting before giving them to me. I took the box to my room and hid it just before she came home. That night I sat up until morning and read everything you’d ever said to me. You can’t believe the way she lied. Your letters to me, through her, said so many things. She wrote that you had met a wonderful woman and that even though you and this woman both wanted me to join you, it was taking her some time to get used to having a child.”

  Andrew’s eyes slid shut, and he couldn’t stop the hand that went to his chest.

  “It’s all right now.” Rebecca jumped up and ran to his side, spilling coffee and not even noticing. His face was ashen, and Rebecca hated herself for not holding back the truth. If her father died on the spot, she would never forgive herself.

  “I understand now, Papa,” she told him desperately. “I know she was lying,” she tried to tell him, but he looked stricken.

  “Lavena,” Rebecca called. “Lavena,” she tried one more time. “Please come.”

  Rebecca gasped with relief when the other woman appeared, took one look at Andrew and quickly exited. Rebecca helped her father lie back in the chair and loosened his tie.

  “My precious girl,” he gasped. “You thought I didn’t want you. Oh, my Reba.”

  “No, Papa,” Rebecca tried to comfort him. “I know better now, Papa, and that’s all that matters.”

  Lavena appeared at her side, and Rebecca watched as Andrew drank the milky liquid she offered. His eyes were closed and his breathing labored, but his color was returning. When his eyes finally opened, Rebecca made herself speak calmly.

  “It’s all in the past, Papa. Please don’t be upset. You’re all I’ve got; please don’t be upset and leave me now, not when I finally have you.”

  Her gentle voice and pleading eyes got through to him. He thought that if his sister were in the room right now he could easily shoot her, but he mustn’t have such thoughts. They caused a pain in his heart, and as Rebecca stated, he was all she had.

  Andrew nodded and tried to sit up. Rebecca pushed him back down and smiled.

  “Just rest,” she told him. He managed to smile in return. She began to tell him about her cookie-baking fiasco from the week before. It wasn’t long before he was chuckling and even asked to have his coffee warmed up. He still didn’t have all the answers he needed, but he’d had all he could handle for the moment. It was all in the past, as Rebecca had said. If he could only remember that, it would be okay.

  Ag
ain, his sister’s face came into view, causing his breath to catch. He pushed it away. You had her for 11 years, Hannah; you’ll not separate us again.

  6

  “I need to speak with you, Reba.”

  Andrew was at Rebecca’s door early the next morning. He’d done little but think about their conversation the night before. Rebecca was dressed, readying to leave for town with Lavena, but he caught her while she was still brushing her hair. She looked into his face and saw that he looked good, but still she bit her lip in indecision.

  “Are you certain, Papa? I can’t stand to see you hurt.”

  He put his hand up. “I know, honey, but there are some things that don’t add up, and they’re going to be more upsetting to me if I don’t know.”

  Rebecca hesitated, but then nodded and went to the bed. She sank down on the edge and waited for her father to take the rocking chair by the window. He did look fine this morning, but the memory of the night before made the young woman understandably tense.

  “Rebecca,” he began, “if my letters said something about a woman, why did you never question me when you wrote back?” To his amazement Rebecca blushed and dropped her gaze. She spoke with her eyes on the small rug at the side of her bed.

  “Aunt Hannah was not all to blame, Papa. She would tell me things, and I would believe them because I wanted to believe them.” She finally looked him in the eye. “I lived in a dream world. When Hannah would advise me not to think about something you said or even address it in my next letter to you, I would gladly go along. At first I would feel hurt about what you wrote. But then when I was young, Aunt Hannah would offer me a new toy or an outing. When I got older it was a new dress or a party with my friends. I pushed you further and further to the back of my mind.

  “Later, when I learned the truth, I also realized that if she could rewrite your letters, she could do the same thing to mine. Even if I had written something that would have made no sense to you, she would have changed it.”

  Andrew stared at her. “Were you ever in love with the boy named Marcus?”

  Rebecca shook her head. “We were just friends.”

  Andrew lifted his gaze to the ceiling. The gesture seemed impatient, but his face was calm. “The letters sounded like you were nearly engaged.”

  “Oh, Papa.”

  He tried to smile. “That hurt me the way the ‘other woman’ hurt you. She wanted us both to believe that we were making a life for ourselves and that we didn’t need each other. Did your Uncle Franklin know about this?”

  “I’m not certain, although I don’t know how he couldn’t. He would get the oddest looks on his face, but he never went against Hannah. It was almost as if he were afraid to. If I did ask him, he would just say, ‘If your aunt says it’s so, then it’s so.’ It got to be less convincing as time went on, and I think that’s why I went to her bedroom that day.”

  “Tell me about the day you left.”

  “I was too tired the morning after I’d read all night, but just 24 hours later I was out of the house before sunrise. I usually slept rather late, so I knew I wouldn’t be missed. I left a note for Hannah, telling her I knew about the letters and that I was going to live with you.” Rebecca smiled a little. “I was pretty dramatic, telling her not to even think of sending someone after me because she would never find me.”

  “And the trip? You made light of it that first day, but I’ve never asked you further about it.”

  Rebecca shrugged. “It was pretty amazing. I had the money I took from my secret drawer, as well as some of Hannah’s I found in the letter box, and I was able to buy train tickets and everything else I needed. I won’t tell you I wasn’t afraid, but I was so angry that for the first 200 miles no one even dared talk to me. I was carried along on the anger for a long time.”

  “I think I’d like you to see the letters I received, Reba. I want to know if you wrote them.”

  Rebecca got an odd look on her face, but she didn’t do anything until Andrew stood. Then she came off the bed in a single move and walked to stand before him. She put out her hand.

  “Hello, my name is Rebecca Rose Wagner. I’m pleased to meet you.”

  Andrew looked down at her hand and then into her eyes. “You can really put it behind you, Reba?”

  “Yes. I’m through living in a dream world, but I can’t stand the thought of drumming it all back up. If you want to know if something is true, ask me, and I’ll do the same for you.”

  Andrew ignored the hand and pulled her into his embrace. They hugged one another for a long time before Andrew held her at arm’s length.

  “Go to town now and have a good time. We won’t think about this or anything else that makes us sad today.”

  Although his name was not mentioned, they were both thinking of Travis. Rebecca nodded and hugged him one more time. She went back to her hair when he left, and not until she was ready to go downstairs did she see the money he’d laid on the dresser. For the oddest reason it made her think of Travis. Did he have enough money? Was he even alive?

  Rebecca made herself push the thought away. He’s not the man you thought he was. Taking a deep breath against the pain she felt, and against the tiny voice inside her that refused to see Travis in that light, she reached for the door handle and walked downstairs.

  “And you’ll drive slow,” Lavena was telling Lucky in no uncertain terms.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said with a grin, but charmed as she was, Lavena ignored it.

  “And you’ll not wait for us in the saloon. You’ll stay with the wagon and horses.”

  “But, Lavena.” The grin was still in place. “I’ll freeze.”

  “It’ll do you good,” she snapped, but she had already lost him. Rebecca was coming from the house, and he suddenly straightened to full height.

  “Rebecca.” He breathed the word only to have Lavena hiss at him.

  “That’s Miss Rebecca to you!”

  He only glanced at the older woman before he grabbed the hat from his head.

  “I’m ready, Lavena. Do we need anything from the house?”

  “No. Now get in; we have things to do.”

  “Hello, Miss Rebecca,” Lucky spoke as Rebecca looked up into his eyes. She smiled kindly at him, and he felt the air leave his body.

  “Hello, Mr. Harwell. How are you?”

  “You can call me Lucky,” he told her, not having even heard her question.

  Lavena snorted, but Lucky didn’t hear her as he dashed around the wagon to help Rebecca over the wheel. She smiled her thanks but was too busy adjusting the heavy blankets around her legs to notice his look of adoration.

  Lavena had been forced to help herself aboard, where she sat next to Lucky on the front seat. Andrew had a comfortable buggy, but it seated only two, so they had had to take the large wagon, which sported two seats. Andrew came out just as Lucky picked up the reins.

  “It doesn’t look like snow, but keep an eye on things, Lucky.”

  “As if I don’t have sense enough to know when to come home!” Lavena shot at him, but Andrew only looked to his daughter, who was leaning over to talk to him. She looked into his eyes and kept her voice low.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Promise me you won’t think about it, Papa.”

  “I promise.” His voice grew a little gruff. “I’ve work to do anyway.”

  Rebecca smiled and sat up. “Bye.”

  “Good-bye,” Andrew told her, and with that the wagon moved toward town.

  The ride was uneventful. Lavena muttered over her list, and Rebecca was only too happy to enjoy the mountains and valleys, now barren of the summer’s lush plant life, as they waited for the snow to fall. Lucky was simply delighted to be so close to Rebecca. He hadn’t been able to find a single excuse to talk with her since Travis had left and nearly did a jig in the bunkhouse when the boss approached him about taking the women to town. A day out of the saddle was always welcome, but a day sp
ent in the company of Rebecca Wagner was a gift from heaven.

  “I want to start in the general store,” Lavena was saying.

  “That’s fine,” Rebecca replied. “I want to get a newspaper and check the mail before I shop.”

  “What are you shopping for?”

  “Oh, nothing in particular, but Papa gave me money.”

  Lavena snorted. “I suppose you’ll be wanting to eat lunch at the hotel.”

  Rebecca smiled from the backseat. In truth, she hadn’t even thought of it. She agreed with a voice so sweet that even Lucky had to hide his smile.

  Fifteen minutes later they stopped before the general store. It was a large building with a single door. Inside were seven well-stocked aisles, as well as floor-to-ceiling merchandise on nearly every square inch of wall. As she and Rebecca stepped down from the wagon, Lavena again told Lucky to stay with the team, but he followed them inside. He wasn’t bold enough to actually follow Rebecca around the store, but his eyes never left her as she began to peruse the goods.

  Rebecca didn’t notice. Forgetting that she wanted the mail first, she started in the first aisle and looked over flatirons and stovepipes. She didn’t linger long over the bridles and saddle blankets, but the teapot, even with its small chip, and the silverware held her attention for quite some time. Handkerchiefs and thread for tatting were her next interest, before she moved to the dishes. Rebecca fingered a cut-glass berry dish for quite a while before returning it to the shelf.

  At that point she simply realized that she wasn’t truly in the mood to shop. Her father hadn’t talked of him, and she’d done everything in her power to forget, but everywhere she looked she was reminded of Travis. It hadn’t helped to turn her eyes away from the black cowboy hats; she still saw his and the way it sat on his head, making him look taller than ever. Even Lucky was a painful reminder because he was one of the few men in town who came close to Travis’ height. It wasn’t long before she gave up and found Lavena.