Everlasting Light - A Civil War Romance Novella

by Andrea Boeshaar

  After a few long moments, he changed the subject. “It’s a pleasant night. Would you care for a stroll outside?”

  “That would be lovely. I’ll get my shawl.”

  Alaina made her way through the throng of guests and climbed the elegant, winding staircase. Nita, bless her heart, was quick to find the gown’s matching lilac wrapper, and Alaina felt grateful to have a convenient cover for her bare shoulders. Descending the steps, she took notice of Braeden leaning against the balustrade, waiting patiently.

  “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.”

  “Miss Dalton …” He lifted his strong, square chin. “You are worth the wait.”

  ******

  “Alaina, I’m retiring for the night. Do you hear me, child?”

  Shaken from her reverie, Alaina looked up at her mother-in-law. A likeness of Braeden’s eyes stared back at her.

  “Are you all right, dear?”

  “Y–yes, I’m fine,” she stammered. “I was just … remembering.”

  “You do that far too often, I think.”

  “I can’t seem to help it, Mama McKenna. I miss Braeden so much.”

  The older woman straightened, a resigned frown chiseled upon her face. “We all miss him. And I miss Kirk as well. But I cannot bring back either of my sons by pining over what’s gone forever. Neither can you. You need to move forward, Alaina. There’s no two ways about it.”

  “You think Braeden is dead too.”

  “Foolish girl, of course he is!” Remorse immediately crossed her lined features, and her tone softened. “Alaina, it’s been over six months since the South surrendered. What would detain Braeden so long? Besides, you heard Michael Wheeler. He’s almost certain he saw Braeden fall on Virginia soil over a year ago. And Michael checked the hospitals and searched everywhere for him before he came home, maimed as he is.” Mama McKenna shook her white-blonde head, wearing a pitiful expression. “The hard truth is Braeden has most likely been buried in some mass grave in some unknown countryside.”

  “No!” Alaina stood so abruptly that her chair toppled backward. “No, he’s not dead!”

  With tears blinding her vision, she ran to her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Minutes later, she heard her mother-in-law’s voice waft across the hallway as she conversed with her husband.

  “I fear for that girl’s sanity.”

  “She’s been through a lot, Ellie. Let her be.”

  “But I think we should have Braeden legally declared dead so we can all go on with our lives.” A heavy-laden silence filled the momentary pause. “Michael Wheeler would marry Alaina in an instant. Anyone can see he’s interested in her just by the look in his eyes whenever they’re in the same room.”

  “That ain’t for us to decide,” Papa McKenna replied gruffly. “If Alaina thinks Braeden is still alive, and if she wants to wait the rest of her life for his return, we need to respect her wishes.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” The acquiescence in her mother-in-law’s tone was unmistakable. “It’s just that Alaina is so young and pretty. Why, I hate the thought of a wasted youth. With Michael, she could have children.”

  “It’d be a fine thing for Braeden to come home to—to find his wife married to his best friend.”

  An audible gasp. “So you believe Braeden’s alive too?”

  “I don’t know what I believe anymore.” Papa McKenna’s voice resonated defeat.

  Leaning against the door, her cheek right up against the cool wooden frame, Alaina sobbed. Oh, God, please bring my husband home!

  Collecting herself, she walked to the window and pulled back the filmy drape. Moonlight streamed in through the glass panes, transporting Alaina back to another time when the moon, like her heart, was so bright and full …

  ******

  “Will you just look at that moon,” Braeden remarked, gazing heavenward. “Why, it seems so close, I’d like to reach out and touch it.”

  Alaina smiled. Her gloved hand was hooked around his elbow as they strolled about the Stokes’ well-groomed property.

  He looked down at her. “My cousin tells me your father is a farmer.”

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  “Mine is also. As the firstborn son, I’ll be taking over our family’s farm soon.”

  “I have an older brother, David. Like you, he’s destined to till the land.”

  “And what are you destined to do?” Braeden stopped and turned toward her. He took both of her hands in his and gazed down into her face.

  “Why … I don’t know.” The question surprised her.

  “You don’t have any dreams you’re harboring?”

  Alaina shrugged and pulled her hands from his, feeling shy. “Well, perhaps I do have one small dream.”

  “Tell me what it is.”

  They resumed their stroll.

  “No, you’ll laugh at me.”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  But Alaina still refused. She couldn’t possibly tell him her secret ambition. He’d undoubtedly collapse in hysterics as her father and her brother, William, had.

  “Tell me,” Braeden persisted.

  “You really won’t laugh?”

  “I won’t, on my honor as a gentleman.”

  “All right then.” Alaina looked at him askance and within a heartbeat, she felt certain she could trust him. Besides, it was about time for some honesty on her part. “Someday,” she began, “I’d like to study at the university in Columbia.”

  “Hmm … and what’s so funny about that?”

  “It’s funny,” she began, “because I’m not who you think I am.”

  They both halted in their tracks and faced each other. Braeden lifted a curious brow. “How so?”

  “I don’t come from prosperity. My family barely makes ends meet. This dress I’m wearing—it’s not even mine. It belongs to your cousin, and I wish I wouldn’t have agreed to wear it.”

  “I gathered as much.”

  “You did?” Her jaw dropped slightly.

  A soft chuckle. “Your blush when we first met gave you away, my dear, not to mention the way you continue to tug on that wrapper.”

  “I’m so embarrassed.” Alaina wished the earth would open and swallow her whole. “Jennifer Marie will never invite me anywhere again.”

  “There, now … this can stay between the two of us.” Braeden threaded her arm around his as they began to walk again. “Jennifer Marie need never know about it.”

  “Truly?”

  “Truly.”

  Silence accompanied them for a few steps around the garden. It was too early in the season for any blooms, but the evening was so pleasant.

  “Have you had any formal education?” Braeden asked.

  “I’ve gone to the Field School some. My mother taught me the rest. She was educated in Charlotte before her family moved to Sumter County. Still, I’d love to learn more.” Alaina momentary chewed her lower lip, feeling suddenly ungrateful for everything her parents had done for her. “I will say this about my family,” she added. “We may not have a lot of money, but we’re happy and we love each other. That’s all that really matters to us. Education is secondary when put in that perspective.”

  “I agree.”

  “What about you?” Alaina couldn’t help asking. “Do you have any dreams? Aspirations?”

  “Actually, I do,” he admitted. “But it’s a secret.”

  “I won’t tell. I promise.”

  “You won’t think I’m crazy?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Very well, then. I’m fascinated with the railroad.”

  “You are?”

  Beneath the moonlight, Alaina saw him nod. “I think railroads are the future of this country.” He paused once more. “Can you imagine the importing and exporting the South could do if only our railroads went all the way to the West Coast?”

  “Railroads instead of shipping by sea?”

  “Yes, I think once the railways are developed, they’ll be
a much more efficient means for transporting both goods and people.” Braeden smiled. “Have you ever been on a train?”

  She shook her head.

  He smiled fondly into her eyes. “Then one day I’ll take you for a train ride.”

  Alaina lifted her chin in a challenging manner. “Do you always make such bold promises to perfectly strange young ladies, Mr. McKenna?”

  “You hardly seem like a stranger to me.” He sounded earnest. “The fact is I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”

  Chapter 3

  “Mama McKenna, I’ve made a decision,” Alaina said the next morning at breakfast.

  “Oh? And what might that be?”

  “I’ve decided that since I’m a burden on this family, I will go home to my mothermother.”

  “Burden?” Her mother-in-law held herself in rigid surprise. “What on earth are you talking about?”

  Alaina picked at the egg and potato on her plate, knowing this was more food than she’d eaten at one meal in weeks. Michael Wheeler, in all his thoughtfulness, brought over a few eggs this morning. Thankfully, at least a couple of his chickens had survived Sherman’s invasion. The potato was one of their own crops from last summer that had endured preservation. However, Alaina had no appetite. She couldn’t get herself to confess to eavesdropping, but it was obvious she added to this family’s hardship. Why else would Mama McKenna suggest she marry Michael?

  “I’m another mouth to feed around here.”

  “You’ll be another mouth to feed at your mother’s place as well, and she’s no better off than we are.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Alaina, you are a McKenna as much as I am, and you belong here. Obviously you’re inflicting unnecessary guilt upon yourself. Stop it at once.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Mama McKenna reached across the scarred plank table and gently patted her hand. “There now, dear, these are lean times for every Southerner.” She sat up straight in her chair once more, looking dignified despite her worn woolen dress and plain brown apron. “How is your mother doing, by the way?”

  “As well as can be expected.” Sorrow filled Alaina’s heart. “Mama told me she wishes she would have died of the influenza rather than Papa and Rebecca.”

  Mama McKenna shook her head ruefully. “Such a tragedy.”

  An errant tear slipped out and ran down Alaina’s cheek. She brushed it aside and another took its place.

  “Do you feel you need to go to her? Is that what this is all about?”

  “No. David can take care of Mama. He’s all Mama has since William fell.”

  “Then it’s settled. You’ll stay here where you belong.”

  Alaina wiped away her tears. “Do you really mean that, Mama McKenna?”

  “Of course!” She forced a smile through all the anguish that she too had suffered. “We’ll persevere together.”

  ******

  “I can’t believe I let you talk me into bringing you here,” Michael said the following Sunday afternoon. “Braeden would have my hide if he ever found out.”

  Alaina curled her lips into a small grin. “I’d have talked Braeden into bringing me … if he were here.”

  “Bet you wouldn’t,” Michael teased her, using his one arm to rein in the sorry-looking mule. All humor evaporated as the wagon stopped in front of the remains of the Stokes’ plantation.

  “Oh, Michael,” Alaina despaired. “Just look what’s become of this place.”

  “I knew we shouldn’t have come,” he muttered, wagging his dark head in concern.

  “No. I needed to come … again.”

  Before Michael could help her alight from the wagon, she jumped down on her own. She walked through the warped, wrought-iron gate beneath the charred oak trees. Looking ahead, she saw that only two chimneys stood erect. The rest of the mansion had been burned beyond repair.

  Heavy-hearted, Alaina tramped through the overgrown brown brush that had once been part of a lovely flower garden. Just beyond it lay a small cemetery with three wooden crosses.

  “Oh, Jennifer Marie …” She leaned over the forlorn, white picket fence that squared off the graves. “I’m glad you can’t see what those hateful soldiers did to your home. At least you’re with Jesus, strolling along the streets of gold.”

  “Lain?” Michael came up behind her and set his hand on her shoulder. “Why are you doing this?”

  “I miss my friend. I miss her so very much.” She whirled around to face him. “This surely is the end of the world, isn’t it? Just like something out of the Book of Revelation.”

  “We should be so lucky.”

  Ignoring the quip, Alaina turned back to the cemetery. She’d come to pay her respects. Somebody had to, after all, and Jennifer Marie was family.

  She had died from smallpox a year ago today—just weeks before Christmas, just months before Sherman’s army burned Columbia. Jennifer Marie’s mother had died of the same deadly disease a month later, and her father was killed by Yankees when he resisted attack on their home.

  “It’s time to go, Lain.” Michael took her arm.

  “I don’t even have any flowers to place at their graves.”

  “Come spring, there’ll be flowers again.” Michael leaned close to her. “You’ll see.”

  “This surely is the end of the world,” she repeated.

  “No, Lain. It’s just the beginning.” Michael forced her to turn and look at him. “We can rebuild our homes … and our lives.”

  Alaina recognized the ardor darkening his brown eyes and tried to take a step backward, but it was no use. She was standing with her heels against the fence. “Michael …” She put her palms against his chest to forestall him.

  “Admit it, Lain, you’re as lonely as I am.” His eyes bore into hers.

  She swallowed hard. “All right. I’ll admit it.”

  “Then marry me.” His tone softened. “I might be maimed physically, but I’m still a whole man emotionally and spiritually. I’ll make you happy, I swear I will.”

  “But—”

  “Braeden is dead,” he said as if divining her thoughts. “You need to accept that.”

  “Oh, Michael.” She choked out the reply. Was it true? Could he be right? Had her hopes and prayers for Braeden’s return been sheer fantasy?

  “I know it’s hard for you.” He lifted his hand and caressed her cheek. “But I’ve got enough love in my heart for the both of us. That, and time, will heal all our wounds.”

  He dipped his head, his lips lowering toward hers. Alaina closed her eyes in bittersweet anticipation.

  Alaina.

  Her eyes opened wide. Was that Braeden calling her name?

  She drew back, her gaze searching the little cemetery and then the yard. “Did you hear that?”

  “Hear what?” Michael’s brows drew inward as he glanced around. “All I hear is the wind. What did you hear?”

  “I heard—” She closed her mouth, shutting off the rest of her reply. If she admitted to hearing Braeden whisper her name, Michael would think she’d lost her mind. Perhaps she had. “It’s nothing.” Alaina shrugged the matter off. Still, the voice sounded so real. Perhaps it was this ghostly place.

  “Come on, Lain.” Resignation edged Michael’s tone. He took her hand. “You’ve had a long day. Let’s go home.”

  She allowed him to lead her back to the wagon and help her board. Michael climbed up to his perch without a word and seemed pensive all the way to the farm, but she didn’t mind. She was busy with her own troubled thoughts. Was she going crazy or was she enveloped in so much darkness, she couldn’t see the light?

  Oh, Lord, where are you?

  Alaina recalled what her father-in-law had said several nights ago. “I don’t know what I believe anymore.” Somehow the comment seemed to encompass more than just Braeden’s whereabouts. Were they all losing their faith?

  Chapter 4

  The sunshine warmed Alaina’s cheeks as she hung bedding out to air on this e
xceptionally pleasant December day. Not far off in the distance, she heard the sounds of her father-in-law’s ax chop-chop-chopping as he felled the last of the dead trees on the McKenna property. To her far left, remains of miscellaneous farm equipment stood in a great heap, looking like a pile of twisted, metal bones. But Alaina refused to so much as glance in that direction this bright morning and, instead, found comfort in the thud of another burned-out tree trunk as it hit the ground. It meant she wouldn’t have to see the charred orchard. Scarred as it was, the farmland showed signs of recovery.

  “Lain! Lain!”

  Hearing the excitement in Michael’s voice, she dropped the quilt back into the basket and ran to meet him.

  “What is it?” She hoped he had news about Braeden.

  “You’re not going to believe it! It’s a miracle.”

  “What? Tell me.”

  “I shot a buck this morning!”

  Alaina’s heart sank. “A buck, you say?” She forced enthusiasm into her voice.

  “Yes.” Michael threw his head back and laughed heartily. “I didn’t think there was a wild animal alive this side of the Mississippi. But there he was this morning, standing proud as you please just a few feet away from where I’ve been working on the house. I grabbed my gun and shot him dead with a single bullet. Me! With only one arm!”

  “How wonderful.” Alaina fought back the tears of disappointment. For a fraction of a moment, she’d been certain Michael was bringing her news about Braeden, that he was alive and well and on his way home to her. She swallowed the sudden lump of emotion. “I’ll fetch Papa McKenna. He’ll help you skin it.”

  “No, that’s all right. I can fetch him myself. Where is he?”

  “Over yonder, by the peach trees … what used to be the orchard anyway.”

  Michael gave her a parting grin before turning on his heel. Once he was on his way, Alaina returned to hanging out the bedding. She tamped down the urge to weep and forced herself to look at the bright side. A buck was definitely a blessing. Why couldn’t she be happy for Michael? Surely he’d share the meat and they would all eat well for the next couple of weeks. As if in line with her musings, her father-in-law strode up the path toward the house, shouting his exuberance.