Zone of Action: A Career Soldier Military Romance

by Tawdra Kandle

  I’d been getting spoiled, because he did spend the night with me on the weekends now. I’d relaxed my no-sleepover rule pretty fast when I’d realized just how much I enjoyed waking up to morning sex. I’d also discovered that I liked having him in bed with me. We slept close, both of us more open to affection than we usually were when we were awake.

  The bell rang again, and I realized it hadn’t been a dream. Someone was at my door, and that someone was too insistent to be solicitors. With a groan, I hopped out of bed, found my robe and struggled into it as I stumbled to the door.

  Opening it a crack, I frowned into the face of my best friend.

  “Samantha? What the hell are you doing here so damn early?” I began to wake up a little more. “Are you okay?” I swung the door wide, letting her inside.

  “First, it’s not damn early. It’s nearly eleven.” She closed the door behind her and stood facing me, her hands on her hips. “And second, I’m fine, but I’m pissed at you.”

  “At me? Why?” But I had a hunch I knew why. It had only been a matter of time before the cat got out of the proverbial bag. Even though Jake and I were trying to be discreet, his car was parked in front of my apartment frequently enough that a couple of my neighbors had commented on it. And we didn’t exactly hide, although all of our time was spent together here at my place. But Sam had been suspicious since the night of her engagement party. I was more resigned to her realization than I was surprised.

  “You lied to me. You told me there was nothing between you and Jake Robinson.” She blinked, her eyes shiny with tears, and guilt pinched at my heart. She was hurt.

  “I know. I’m sorry.” I sighed. “Can we go sit down in the kitchen and have coffee while I grovel? I promise, I’ll do a better job of it with some caffeine.”

  She didn’t speak, but she nodded as she followed me into the other room. I was silent as I set up the coffeemaker, pulled out mugs and spoons and then poured it. I didn’t begin to talk until I’d had my first reviving sip.

  “First of all, I didn’t mean to lie to you. I didn’t . . . well, at first, I didn’t know that the guy I’d slept with for one night only was one of Max’s friends. And then we met at your engagement party, and we decided that we had enough chemistry that we’d both enjoy a sort of arrangement. It’s not anything formal or serious, Sam. I promise you. If it were, I’d have let you know. We’re just . . .” I struggled to come up with the right phrase. “Messing around. Having fun.”

  “Hmmm.” She sniffed and took a drink of coffee. “You could have told me that. I would’ve understood.”

  “Maybe.” I hesitated. “But you want me to have something more, sweetie. You’ve said that. You saw Jake and me together at the party, and you were ready to play matchmaker. I didn’t want that. I wasn’t ready.”

  Samantha’s eyes narrowed. “You didn’t. You weren’t. But something’s changed now, hasn’t it?”

  I bit my lip and glanced away. “God, I want to tell you no, but I don’t want to lie to you again.”

  Merriment danced in my friend’s eyes. “I knew it! I just knew it. Tell me all.”

  I shook my head. “There isn’t much to tell, Sam. Nothing’s really changed between us. We’re still basically just friends with benefits.” I paused. “But now Jake stays overnight with me. And I . . . I make him breakfast when he does. And we . . .talk. One night last week, he told me about—uh, an old relationship in his past. He really opened up to me, and I started to think, well, maybe I do want more.” I traced the handle of my coffee mug with the tip of my finger. “We haven’t talked about it, though. I’m afraid that if I suggest it, he might not be in the same place that I am. He’s had more damaging experience than I have in the area of relationships.”

  “Hey.” Samantha covered my hand with hers. “You won’t know unless you say something, right? It’s entirely possible that Jake is feeling the same thing and is afraid to tell you. Wouldn’t it be better to know the truth?”

  “I guess.” I wasn’t sure, though. Telling the truth might mean that Jake would run screaming from my life. At least now I had parts of him, sometimes. Wasn’t that better than having none of him ever? “Hey, how did you find out, anyway? About Jake and me, I mean.”

  She smiled. “I was on my way back from work late last night, because we had a community meeting that went long. I swung by here to drop off the fabric swatch for having your shoes dyed, and I recognized the car out front. So I went home and told Max what I saw, and he broke down and told me everything.”

  “Max knew?” I scowled. “Jake swore he hadn’t told anyone.”

  “I don’t think he did, at least not on purpose.” Samantha shrugged. “He said Jake was acting cagey one day when Owen was trying to get him to go out to the bar, and the two of them goaded him into giving up your name. But he made Max swear not to say anything to me unless I asked outright. He kept that promise. Don’t be mad at Jake, Harper. He did the best he could.”

  “I’m not.” I was more relieved, I realized, that everything was out in the open. No matter what happened between us, I was ready to stop hiding.

  “And give him a real chance.” Samantha squeezed my hand. “Give both of you a real chance. You two deserve to see what you might be able to have.”

  I took a deep breath and nodded. “I think you’re right. I’m terrified, but I want to find out if we have a chance.”

  * * *

  Making the decision to talk to Jake and actually putting it into action were two different things. I was off work until four in the afternoon, but we hadn’t made any plans to see each other until later that night; we never met up during the day, except for the day Jake had surprised me at the restaurant.

  I grinned, remembering the initial shock I’d felt at seeing him in my kitchen and then the fast-building pleasure as he’d played with me, pretending to be just another customer, albeit one who made wildly inappropriate comments when no one else was listening. And the fast sex in his car after that had been intense—not to mention the role-playing that night in my home kitchen. I couldn’t look at spatulas the same way again.

  I knew I could just wait until he came over tonight. That was what made the most sense. But I was full of nerves and jitters, and now that I’d made the decision, I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to talk to him now, this afternoon. At the same time, I didn’t want to text him and ask him to come to my house. If we were alone together, I had a feeling that I’d chicken out and end up sleeping with him instead of having a talk. And as much as I loved sex with this man, I knew it couldn’t continue to be the only thing that defined our relationship.

  Luckily, I had Samantha in my corner. She not only knew that the battalion was back on post after their morning march, she could also get me onto Fort Lee, since she had a military ID.

  “Here’s the plan.” She shot me a sideways glance as we drove toward the post. I was fidgeting in the front seat of her car, wiping my sweaty palms on my jean-covered thighs. “I’ll drive you to the battalion headquarters and drop you off there. I texted Max, and he said that Jake was finishing up some work there in his office. No one else should be around, really, since it’s the weekend. You can talk to him, and if everything goes well, just text me that you’re okay.” She gnawed the corner of her lip. “If for some reason it doesn’t, text me and I’ll come back and get you.”

  “Oh, shit. I’m nervous.” I swallowed. “I don’t ever remember being this nervous before in my life. I’m a fucking chef. I thrive on stress. I eat it up. And right now, I feel like I might vomit.”

  Sam laughed. “Welcome to love and adult relationships, sweetie. But don’t hurl in my car, okay? That’s rule number one.”

  Love. Was this what I felt for Jake? Was I in love with this man? I thought about it, about us, trying to separate the man from the way he made me feel when we were in bed together, or when his mouth was between my legs, or when we were in the shower together, or when his cock was thrusting into my throat . . . sighing, I wrigg
led a little bit. Now I was wet and turned on.

  “How do you know you’re in love with someone?” I mused, not realizing I’d spoken out loud until Samantha answered me.

  “When I was first with Max . . . remember?” She flashed me a smile. “You were there. I got excited when I knew I was going to see him again. I wanted to look my best, be my best. I wanted him to think I was the most wonderful woman in the world, because I knew he was the most amazing man ever. I wanted to see him all the time—when we weren’t together, I couldn’t wait until we would be. I wanted to wake up next to him and go to sleep in his arms every night.” She paused. “I knew he accepted me for who and what I was, but at the same time, he made me a better person.”

  “I love being with Jake,” I said slowly. “I look forward to seeing him, even when I tell myself I shouldn’t. When something wonderful happens, he’s the first person I want to tell. I love when his eyes light up when he looks at me, and I love that when he touches me, his breath kind of stutters.”

  Samantha sighed. “Yeah. That’s the stuff.”

  We pulled onto Fort Lee, Sam flashing her ID and a smile at the guard who waved her along. The butterflies in my stomach morphed into huge bats when she stopped the car in front of a large beige building.

  “This is HQ. Max said Jake’s office is on the third floor. There will be some guys on guard duty hanging around, but if anyone stops you, just tell them that you’re there to see Captain Robinson, and they won’t bother you.”

  “Okay.” I opened the car door and swung out my legs, hesitating. “I can do this, right? It’s the thing I should do?”

  “Absolutely you can do it, and yes, you should. Don’t let the nerves get you. You’re Harper Fucking Drummond. Go up there and own that man, babe. He’s yours.”

  “Mine.” I inhaled and stood up. “Thanks, Sam.”

  “Any time, sweetie. Text me later. Love you!”

  I waved, slammed the car door and made my way inside the building. I passed a couple of men and women in BDUs, but no one spared me even a glance. With legs that were shaking, I climbed up two flights of steps and headed down the hallway. Max had said that Jake’s office was third from the left. I was still a few feet away when I heard his voice.

  I smiled involuntarily. Yeah, I had it bad; even hearing him talk to someone else turned me on. And then I heard the answering voice, which was higher and feminine, with a deep Southern accent.

  The battalion commander was a woman, I knew from both Jake and Max. It might be her voice I heard. I didn’t want to interrupt any meeting he might be having—either with her or with any of his soldiers—so I paused, lingering in a nearby doorway, biding my time, fighting my ever-increasing nerves.

  A few minutes later, I heard the scrape of a chair, and two figures appeared at the entrance of Jake’s office. One was Jake himself, dressed in his fatigues. The other was a diminutive brunette, who didn’t look like any soldier I’d ever seen. She was in civilian clothes, and as I watched, she laid a hand on Jake’s arm, squeezing. He patted her back, rubbing it a little, as he often did with me. And then she stood on tiptoe, and he bent his neck to kiss her lips.

  My heart stopped beating and then began to pound. My throat was dry, and I was paralyzed. The woman turned and began walking my way, but Jake had disappeared back into his office. I coughed a little as the woman passed by, but she was fumbling for something in her handbag and didn’t pay any attention to me at all.

  I was frozen. What the hell? What the actual fucking hell? Jake had promised me that we would be exclusive until the time that one of us no longer wanted to continue . . . whatever this was between us. Yes, I knew that I hadn’t been open about my changing feelings, but still—didn’t he owe me the courtesy of an explanation before he began fucking some other woman?

  The small part of my brain that was still sensible pointed out that he’d kissed the woman. I didn’t know who she was. Could it be one of his sisters who’d surprised him with a visit? It seemed doubtful, but it was possible, certainly. Jumping to conclusions was rarely helpful. I had to go confront him. I had to know the truth.

  After all, as Sam had reminded me, I was Harper Fucking Drummond. I could do this.

  Filled with self-righteous anger, I stomped down the hallway and into Jake’s office, pausing just long enough to slam the door so hard the glass rattled.

  He looked up at me, shock on his face melting into pleasure. “Harper? What’re you doing here? Is everything okay?” He stood up, coming out from behind his desk.

  “That’s what I’d like to know.” I moved until I was close to him and poked him in the chest with one stabbing finger. “I thought we had a deal. An arrangement. But maybe I was the only one who honored that.”

  Jake winced. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Harper. I hoped that it wouldn’t—I asked Max not to say anything. I didn’t want to tell him, but between him and Owen, they figured it out.” He laid his hand on my shoulder. “Your driver’s license is still on Owen’s phone, and he recognized your name.”

  “What?” I was momentarily confused. “Oh—you mean about Max knowing. No, that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s not what I’m mad about. I mean, yeah, Sam explained all that. I know you couldn’t do anything else.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m talking about the woman who was in here with you. The one you touched. The one you kissed.”

  It was Jake’s turn to look confused, and then he slumped a little, shaking his head. “You saw me just now? In the doorway?”

  When I nodded, unable to form coherent words, he sighed and shook his head. “Harper, that was Caren. She texted me this morning out of the blue. She and her husband and kids were passing through on vacation, and she asked if she could stop and see me. I made arrangements for her to be able to get onto post, and she was only here for a little while.”

  “Caren?” I frowned. “Caren, as in your ex-wife Caren? The one you haven’t seen since she left you back in college?”

  “That’s the one.” Jake perched on the corner of his desk. “I think she felt bad after all these years, and she said she couldn’t drive through without at least stopping to say hello and tell me in person how sorry she was about how everything happened between us. It was actually . . .” He paused. “Healing, in a way, I guess.”

  “Oh.” I felt a little deflated, most of my mad used up now. “You said she has kids?”

  “Yeah, four of them. They’re on their way to Virginia Beach for spring break.” He cocked his head. “So that’s my story. You want to explain why you’re here and why you were coming at me, loaded for bear because you saw me kiss another woman?”

  I shrugged, my eyes rooted to the floor. “I just . . . I wanted to talk with you.”

  “Yeah?” With one finger, he tipped my chin up until I had to look at him. “About . . .?”

  I sighed. “About us. About me, and how I feel about you, and about you and how you feel about me.” I was babbling, and I hated when that happened.

  “Oh?” There was a hint of a smile on his face. “Want to fill me in?”

  “I don’t know,” I whispered. “I’m scared.”

  “Bullshit.” His response was swift and sure. “Harper Drummond doesn’t get scared.”

  “But I do.” I swallowed over the huge lump in my throat.

  “Okay, then. Let’s start here: did you come here to tell me something good, that I’ll like and be happy about, or something bad?” With the same finger that had nudged up my chin, he traced the line of my jaw, and I shivered.

  “I think it’s something good. It’s good for me. Or at least I hope it will be. And I hope you think it’s good, too.” For the first time, I let myself sink into the depths of his dark eyes, and what I saw there gave me a spark of hope.

  “Hmmm. Sounds promising. But first, before you tell me anything, come here.” He drew me close to him, so that I stood between his legs, our eyes and lips at the same level. “You’ve been here in my office for a whole five minutes, and
I haven’t done this yet.”

  His lips sought mine, tentative at first and then with sudden and intense fire, his arms wrapping me tight as his tongue traced the interior of my mouth. I made a small noise at the back of my throat and let my hands clasp behind his neck.

  “There,” Jake whispered. “Now I can talk to you.” He nuzzled my neck, breathing deep, and then brushed one more light kiss over my lips. “I don’t want to tell you I love you with another woman’s lipstick on me.”

  It took a minute for the meaning of his words to seep into my brain. “You . . . you what?”

  “I know.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I promised I wouldn’t do it. I promised no strings, no commitment, no romance . . . and yet, I did it anyway. I went and fell in love with you, Harper Drummond. Damn it all to hell if I have any regrets about it, either.”

  My heart fluttered, and in place of the heaviness I’d been dragging with me all day, an incredible lightness filled me. The bats had turned into butterflies, and they were all taking wing at once.

  “Are you sure?” To my embarrassment, I felt tears filling my eyes. “I’m not a very good bet, you know. I’m moody and temperamental and I yell . . .” I trailed off. I wasn’t doing a very good job of selling myself or the perks of being in love with me. “But I’m a hell of a cook, and you’ll never starve with me. Also, I give the most fucking incredible blow jobs you’ll ever have, and I’m very adventurous in bed.”

  Jake was laughing before I even finished. “Sugar, I know all of that about you. If you want to know the truth, I think I fell in love with you the minute you stepped into my arms to dance that night at the bar. It just took me a while to accept it.” He framed my face with his hands. “But you know, I’m kind of hanging over here. Dying by degrees, you might say. I told you how I feel, but I got the sense that you’d come to tell me something.”

  I lifted one shoulder and tilted my head, feeling suddenly and uncharacteristically coquettish. “Ah, but you beat me to the punch. Does it really matter what I was going to say?”