Mean Crush

by K L Wood

  I let out a long breath as I watched one of the girls snuggle into a guy’s chest. He smiled down at her, and there was this look in his eyes that was better than happiness. It was this knowing, a certainty, that said, “You are my world…my everything.”

  Mark never looked at me like that, and I realized how much I wanted it in this moment.

  My phone buzzed in my back pocket. A text from Paige.

  P: Just landed. How is everything going?

  T: At Cathedral Ledge now.

  P: OMG, please tell me you’re not hanging over the ledge.

  T: LOL. No, but some other kids are doing it now.

  P: You and Reed used to do that…

  T: I know.

  P: If you ever need to talk, know I’m here. You’re more important than sex with Ben. ;)

  T: Thanks. I feel special now. :p

  P: Love you.

  T: You, too.

  I turned around and headed back to the car, not wanting to be around people right now. What I needed was some alone time and music.

  Reed

  Familiar signs popped up on the side of the highway, signs that got me excited many times as a kid because I knew they meant we were close to our vacation house. It was my first experience traveling, and I loved it. I loved that Tabitha was there, too, even when I pretended to be annoyed or bothered when she snooped into my things.

  I shifted in my seat, that nudge in my gut getting deeper.

  Maybe I could just pop over and see how she was.

  No. I’m not doing it. I’m not getting off at that exit. I’m going straight on to Maine like I’d planned. End of story.

  When the two-mile warning popped up, my heart banged inside my chest. I didn’t like that she was up here by herself. Paige should’ve stayed with her.

  The one-mile warning came into view, and my stomach twisted in knots.

  What if she’s crying? Moping in bed? Or forgot to lock the damn door?

  Fuck.

  I pulled into the right lane and took the exit, knowing this was a huge mistake. I turned on my blinker as I came up to the long driveway then braked hard.

  She wouldn’t want me there. It’s not like we were close anymore. Every time I came home, she had a damn boyfriend on her arm, and I wasn’t exactly cordial to any of them. Most of them were idiots. Mark, well, he wasn’t so bad, and for some reason, that bothered me even more. I practically ignored him the entire time or picked a fight with her. After the way I behaved, I was pretty sure she was done with me. I wouldn’t blame her. I was an asshole.

  But I missed her. I missed how we used to be. I wanted to tell her, and so many damn times the words were right there on the tip of my tongue…but the timing was never right.

  Maybe now was the right time or, at least, time to clear the air between us.

  I pulled into the driveway, trying to settle the jumbled mess of nerves in my gut. Tabitha’s car was parked in her parents’ usual spot, and strangely, the sight eased me a little.

  Here goes nothing.

  When I stepped out, music blared from the opened windows. The closer I got, the clearer the beat and lyrics became—“Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure. I had to admit she had decent taste in music. I liked to think I had a hand in that.

  When I opened the door, I walked through the kitchen to find Tabitha in bare feet, bouncing up and down on the couch to the music. Her hands were raised above her head, and her hips swayed from side to side. Her nipples poked against the fabric of her T-shirt.

  No bra. And she was sexy as hell.

  I leaned against the door frame, feeling a little guilty about watching her like this, but it was a beautiful sight to behold. No one to judge her. No one to impress. Just pure Tabitha in her truest form. I loved it.

  Tabitha

  I flopped back on the couch, winded. I had danced to three songs straight and needed to catch my breath. I reached for my phone and paused my playlist.

  “Don’t stop on my account.” The familiar deep voice wrapped around my neck, nearly cutting off my oxygen supply.

  No! That couldn’t be Reed.

  I inhaled a breath. Just a simple auditory hallucination triggered by the nostalgia of this house.

  I’m going to look, and he won’t be there.

  My heart free-fell to my stomach the moment I sat up. Reed was standing by the doorway to the kitchen, casually leaning against the wall with arms folded across his chest. Those stupid, delicious muscles filling me with images I didn’t need right now. But he was too tan. I liked him paler, as if he been stuck inside devouring books.

  That knowing smirk of his that made me cringe spread across his face. I straightened up, pretending not to be the least bit humiliated by him catching me dancing like that.

  With no bra!

  I crossed my arms to cover my nipples. “What are you doing here?”

  “Well, hello to you, too.”

  I snorted out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh, you mean like all the times you came home from school and Europe and welcomed me with open arms?”

  His face fell a bit when I said that, and he scratched the back of his head. “That’s fair. I deserve that.”

  My mouth twitched, unsure of how to respond to that. Usually, our exchanges ranged from snarky banter to intense glaring contests.

  I forced a smile. “Hello, Reed. Now can you tell me what you’re doing here?”

  “If memory serves me right, this is my parents’ vacation house.”

  I rubbed at my temple. “I meant why…why are you here?”

  He hesitated at first. “I’m starting my U.S. road trip for my blog. This place is the first stop on my journey—my first article.”

  “Oh.” I twisted my toes into the area rug. “How long do you plan on staying?”

  His stare was intense, but it wasn’t an angry one. It was more like he was trying to get inside my head to read my thoughts. My brain was on full-out defense mode.

  “I’m not sure,” he finally said. “Maybe a few days or so.”

  There was no way I was going to spend the next three days “or so” with Reed—alone.

  “Fine, I’ll go pack and leave you to your work.” I marched toward the stairs, pretending to be unbothered by this whole situation. Inside, I wanted to scream.

  “Hey.” Reed grabbed my arm. “You don’t have to leave.”

  His touch was warm, and I realized how much I missed being touched. I pulled away and twisted the ends of my hair. “I came here to be alone, and even if I did want company, you would be the last person on this earth I would choose to spend my time with.”

  For what seemed like the first time, I won our little staring contest of wills. His eyes closed briefly, and he winced a bit as if my words punched a hole through his chest. When he looked back in my eyes, I could see the hurt saturated in them. “It’s okay. I’ll go.”

  Any anger I felt began to melt into guilt. I pressed a palm to my forehead, hating that I always caved and how Reed could take me on a roller coaster of emotions and yet somehow make me feel like the bad guy.

  “No, I don’t want that, either.”

  Reed tilted his head, as if carefully choosing his words. “How about this? I’ll stay in the RV. I have everything I need. If you ever want company for dinner or a hike in the woods,” he side-smiled, but it was softer than usual, “or a partner to dance half-naked on the couch with, I’m here.”

  As much as I didn’t want to smile, I couldn’t help it. “Fine.” I gestured toward the door. “I already ate dinner, and I’m done dancing for the night, so…”

  He held up his hands. “I can take a hint.” That stupid smug smile like he had just won was plastered all over his jerk face, and I wanted to cry out in anger. At least he was smart enough to make his exit without lingering another second, or I would have gotten in my car and driven straight home.

  And he had no business being so insanely hot. Being away for a year made me believe I was over all of this, but the truth? I didn’t realiz
e until now how much I missed him.

  Even the mean, icy Reed.

  Although for some weird reason, he wasn’t as mean now.

  I climbed up the stairs and headed to my room. The moment I closed the door, I plopped face-first onto my bed and screamed into the pillow.

  Of all the times for Reed to pop up in my life, this was by far the worst possible.

  The last thing I needed was to be alone for three days with the man who probably ruined my future with Mark.

  Mark was who I needed, not Reed.

  It was only ten p.m., and I’d been in bed since nine-thirty, trying to force myself to sleep. The crickets were going full force, but it still didn’t drown out the music coming from Reed’s RV. Well, from what I heard, the vehicle wasn’t really his but borrowed for his cross-country trip. It was kind of cool that he finally got that going. I was sure Europe was a tremendous experience, but he’d always wanted to do this. Although he could be a jerk at times—well, most of the time—I was kind of happy for him.

  Maybe I was overreacting about not letting him in the house.

  No. I wasn’t playing that game with him anymore.

  What did he think? That he could just come into my life and pretend he didn’t act like a complete and utter asshole to every one of my boyfriends and me for the past five years? That he could just give me sad puppy eyes one second and make me smile the next, and everything would be fixed?

  It was so like him to do that. He’d been doing it my whole life…and stupid me would fall for it every time. Love. Made. People. Dumb. And I was no exception, especially when it came to Reed.

  He would always be the crushee and I the helpless crusher.

  I got up and shut the window, not wanting to hear his music. The light was still on inside the RV, but I couldn’t see him through the window.

  For once, it would be nice to be the one someone crushed on and pined for while I threw scraps to a starving dog.

  Turn the tables.

  The moment Shelly’s old advice about Reed popped into my mind, I tried to wave it off, but it kept nudging and nudging at me until I at least considered the possibility.

  What if I could pull it off? And why not? I was sexy, too! I could do stupid side smiles as if I knew I was the hottest thing in the world and make him regret the day he ever rejected me.

  He should get a taste of his own medicine for once, right?

  I chewed my thumbnail and paced the floor.

  But it was also playing with fire. Reed was a pro, and I caved to him pretty much every time.

  I paused, looking out the window again.

  I could do this. I was a twenty-four-year-old woman. An adult. I wasn’t a lovesick schoolgirl anymore. I’d had sex and plenty of it. I wasn’t timid, so why was I going to let him wrap my head up in some fog as if I were fifteen all over again?

  He’s not going to have the upper hand. Not this time.

  I was going to go over to the RV and, like an adult, knock on the door and invite him inside the house.

  It’s time I proved to myself that I could handle Reed Walker. That I was in control, and that I absolutely had the ability to get over him and not fall into the same old trap.

  If I could do that, then I’d know I would be ready to fully give all of myself to Mark…and hopefully win him back one day.

  17

  Turning the Tables

  Reed

  My fingers sailed across the keyboard. Moments and memories from this place flooded out onto my laptop. I would have to edit and structure the piece later, but I never stopped in the middle of a good flow. My best lines were born in the zone.

  I halted at the sound of a soft banging. I turned down the music and realized it was Tabitha knocking at the door. “Come in,” I yelled out as I finished up the last sentence in my train of thought. I looked up to find her staring wide-eyed, mouth slightly agape. She looked away and tugged the ends of her hair—a habit that had stayed with her through the years. I loved that.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you while you were…” She gestured to my laptop. A blush touched her cheek, and I realized all I had on were my boxer briefs. All I needed now was lotion and a box of tissues to make it look even worse.

  “I’m not watching porn.” I chuckled. “I’m writing. And the lack of clothes is due to the humidity level.”

  Tabitha pulled at her T-shirt collar. “It is kinda hot in here. I mean, temperature-wise.”

  I saw her wince at her last words, and I couldn’t help but grin. “Is there something you wanted?”

  Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times until, finally, her shoulders slumped. “I can’t sleep…but I see you’re busy, so—”

  “No.” I shut my laptop. “Just finished.”

  “Oh. So…” Tabitha thumbed toward the house. “You’re welcome to sleep inside if you want…since it’s humid in here.”

  “Thanks.” I stood up, and her eyes scanned down until she turned around.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked playfully. “My lack of clothing making you uncomfortable?”

  She turned, a strange look in her eyes that was unfamiliar to me. Sexier. Grown-up. She inched closer, and I swallowed.

  “Are you teasing me because you enjoy seeing me revert back to a starry-eyed, nervous schoolgirl or because you want to have sex with me?” She ran a finger down the center of my chest, and I shivered. “Well, we could role play that first scenario…if you’re into that. Though I prefer cuffs and whips.”

  Whoa.

  “What?”

  Tabitha rolled her eyes. “Put on some clothes, Reed.” She walked out and closed the door behind her.

  What the hell was that about?

  I ran a hand down my face, trying to get my head straight. I already had a semi hard-on from her touching me like that and being so close. Not that I was into cuffs or whips, and I doubted she was, either…but I had some visions, and they weren’t all that bad. In fact, I’d be willing to—

  I scratched at my scalp, trying to rid of the very naughty thoughts invading my brain.

  Tabitha popped open a bottle of Merlot when I walked through the door. I made sure to fully dress in jeans and a T-shirt. She, on the other hand, was still wearing boxer pajamas but had changed into a tank top. Still no bra.

  Oh boy.

  “Would you like some wine?” she asked.

  I hesitated, taking in her lack of shirt and how she obviously didn’t care that her nipples were hard as rocks. The fantasy of sliding my tongue over them was too much to take right now, and I wasn’t sure wine was the best idea, but a little would ease the tension.

  I tucked my hands into my pockets, attempting to adjust without making it too obvious. “Sure.”

  Tabitha poured a glass and handed it to me, lingering a bit as our fingers touched. That sensuous look in her eyes was daring me to come on to her. After filling her own glass halfway, Tabitha headed into the living room and let down her hair so I could see it cascade down her back. Her hips swayed a little more than they usually did, but she didn’t completely overdo it. She sat on the couch and hoisted her legs onto the cushions, leaning against the arm.

  I’d been with enough women to know what game she was playing. She wanted the upper hand. To be in control. And I wanted so badly to play, but I knew it would lead to places I didn’t want to go…at least not yet.

  I sat on the chair with a perfect view that I probably didn’t need right now.

  My eyes trailed down her calves to those sexy bare feet before looking down at my wine and taking a bigger gulp than I intended.

  “Do you want to listen to some music?” The nail of her pointer finger traced the curve of the wineglass, and I thought of my own finger trailing the curve of her hip.

  Dammit, Reed. Pull yourself together.

  “Go for it.” I held up my hand, gesturing for her to start.

  She tapped through her phone, and Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” poured through the speakers.r />
  My eyes narrowed as I searched for any trace of the Tabitha I knew. If it were any other woman, I would’ve played back until she was begging me to give her what she wanted.

  But that’s not what I wanted with Tabitha.

  I responded to her choice of music with a sip of wine. She swept her hair to the side and glided her fingers down her exposed neck, mouth slightly parted.

  Mmm. I was not going to survive if this kept up.

  “What are you doing?” I finally asked.

  Tabitha side-smiled like she had me exactly where she wanted me. “Playing music, having wine.”

  I set down my glass on the coffee table. “You know what I mean.”

  And there it was, a small hesitation. Tabitha was unsure whether this was what she wanted.

  “No, I don’t.” She sipped her wine. “Why don’t you enlighten me?”

  All right, let’s give you a taste of the game when it’s played both ways.

  I slowly slid my finger across my bottom lip, staring intently into her eyes. I imagined the things I could do to her, and I made sure she knew I wasn’t a good boy in my thoughts. Surprisingly, she held my gaze—and the silence—longer than I expected.

  She forced a chuckle that didn’t sound like any of her familiar laughs. “Is that stare supposed to intimidate me?” She stood up. “I’m going to have some grapes and cheese. Would you like some?”

  Not a bad getaway plan. But I was curious to see how far she’d take this.

  I quietly followed behind her, and she let out a shaky breath as she opened the refrigerator door. I opened the door wider from behind her, our bodies touching. As she grabbed the bag of grapes, I reached into the drawer for the cheddar block.