Mean Crush

by K L Wood

  “Currently or before your breakup?”

  I bit my lip, unsure whether I should tell him. These were things you told your best friend, not your best friend’s brother…although Reed and I were much more than that, no matter how much we fought.

  “Um…never mind.”

  He tossed the Kindle onto the cushion beside him and sat up. “Oh no. You can’t just start that conversation and end it like that.”

  “Tell me if you liked Anne of Greene Gables, then I’ll have this conversation with you.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You know I liked it.”

  “Liked or loved?”

  His jaw shifted. He wasn’t pissed off, but he definitely didn’t like my question.

  “Loved,” he practically said with a growl. “Now your turn.”

  “Let’s just say my sex life wasn’t anything as exciting as my romance books.”

  “Always?”

  “Did you enjoy sex with every woman you dated?”

  “I had no issues with enjoying the act itself.”

  I groaned. “Guys are so lucky. All you have to do is stick it in, thrust a bunch of times, and you come every time.”

  Reed held up his hand. “Wait a minute…have you ever come with a guy before?”

  “Well, yeah, sometimes during foreplay, but never when he’s inside me.”

  Reed pinched the bridge of his nose and steepled his fingers over his mouth, looking at me like I was some alien who just stepped off the spaceship. “Never?”

  Heat flushed my cheeks, and I folded my arms across my chest. “It’s not like I’m a mutant. Plenty of women have that problem.”

  Reed’s mad face was poking through. “No, you not coming has nothing to do with you. It has to do with your clueless ex-partners who obviously didn’t know what the hell they were doing…and probably cared more about getting their rocks off than pleasing you.” He cringed, seemingly regretting his last dig about my exes. “Sorry if that was over-stepping, but even some guys who mean well can be clueless.”

  Sex with Mark wasn’t bad, but it was a lot like us: comfortable and predictable. I tried to do different positions or experiment to light the fire a little more, but he always preferred being on top.

  The one time I tried to climb on top, he told me it was better the other way.

  I shrugged. “I sort of take too long, and the guy always goes before me.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Tabitha, that’s what foreplay is for.”

  “I don’t really like oral.”

  He ran a hand over his mouth and shifted in his seat. “Wrong. If it’s done right, you’ll love it.” He stood up, adjusting his pants. “I’m sorry, but I can’t have this conversation with you right now. I’m gonna need a few minutes.”

  “You enjoy giving oral?” I asked.

  With a hand covering his mouth, he gave a little nod and made an “mm-hmm” sort of sound. Then he lowered his arm and let out a deep breath. “Listen, it’s been a while for me, and knowing you never have felt…I’m not thinking very wholesome things right now. In fact, they are downright naughty. So let’s change the topic, all right?”

  I smiled. It felt good that I could turn Reed on. “Fine.”

  “I’m going to take a little walk.”

  I giggled, and when I got up from the couch to get a drink, I realized Reed wasn’t the only one a little turned on.

  Reed

  No. No, no, no, no. No!

  Not happening, so get whatever “what if” thoughts out of your head, Reed.

  I was not going to be Tabitha’s rebound.

  I inhaled the scent of pine and soil as I turned around the bend along the path. Our lair was in a sad state now that I wasn’t around to keep up with it. I thought of the first time I let her stay after she sneaked in. No one was allowed in there until Tabitha became the exception.

  I smiled at the thought of how she got me to read Anne of Green Gables. Our love for books connected us, and she understood that, even back then. I loved the book because Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe reminded me of us, constantly fighting and utterly complicated, but both shared a bond that could never be severed in the end.

  I let out a sigh.

  With Tabitha, it could never be just about sex. Ever.

  But the need to please her rippled through my core. She deserved someone to be patient and touch her in ways that made her body quiver. Make love to her in all its fullness. And it pissed me off that she hadn’t experienced it yet and pissed me off even more that she accepted that and would possibly never have it.

  If anything did happen between us in the future, it would only be when she’d completely gotten over Mark. But from now on, no matter what, I wouldn’t disappear from her life again. Whether we ended up together or not, Tabitha would always be family, and I needed to treat her that way.

  I ran my hands along the wood of the lair and gave it a pat before I headed back to the house.

  “You ready?” I plopped the grocery bags on top of the butcher block. After I’d spent the day exploring and taking pictures of the spot on Cathedral Ledge where Tabitha and I used to hang over the edge, I decided to do a little shopping and surprise her.

  Tabitha tucked her hands in her back pockets, eyeing the bags warily. “For what?”

  “We’re going to cook dinner.”

  She laughed. “You cook? Funny. You used to burn toast.”

  “I learned quite a bit from my days in Europe, especially living in Italy.”

  “Who taught you?”

  “A woman.”

  She shrugged and started taking groceries out of the bags. “One of your pre-celibacy women?”

  “Yes, a very hot gray-haired woman pushing eighty,” I teased. “She was my neighbor. She was worried I wasn’t eating well, so she taught me how to cook.”

  “You learned from an authentic Italian nonna. Impressive.” Tabitha watered the fresh basil plant. “What’s on the menu?”

  “Rigatoni al Forno. It’s one of the easier dishes and delicious.”

  “Okay, chef, what do you want me to do?”

  “I’ll need two pots, one to boil pasta and another for the sauce. I’ll grab the cutting board.”

  I started chopping into the onion, but my eyes began watering, and she took over while I warmed olive oil in a pot. We flowed nicely together, and she seemed to understand exactly what I needed as I called out the basics of the recipe.

  “You taught yourself to cook?”

  “I lived in a townhouse my senior year, and one of my roommates was a really great cook. She taught me some things. Came in handy when I got my own apartment.”

  I stirred the sauce and preheated the oven. “You had an apartment pretty quickly after school. I was impressed.”

  “So did you.”

  “I was all over the place my first three years,” I said. “With graduation around the corner, I knew I needed to get my shit together, and I really didn’t want to go home and live with my parents.”

  “I knew the moment I left for school that I wanted to be on my own. I started planning right then and there,” Tabitha said.

  “You always knew what you wanted, Tabitha, even when you were a kid in pigtails and…” I trailed off, remembering that one of those things she wanted was me.

  “And look at you,” she said. “How many people can say they are living their dream?”

  I smiled, although there was a part of me that felt the loneliness of the career I had chosen. I loved it and didn’t want to let it go, but I wasn’t sure I liked the sacrifices this life would bring in the long run.

  “I know it’s a cliché question,” I asked, “but what do you want, say, five or ten years from now?”

  She poured the rigatoni into the boiling water. “In five years? Editing romance novels, ideally in a remote setting. That way, I could travel. I’ve never even been out of the country, and I can count the states I’ve been to on one hand. I would definitely go see the moonbow in Cumberland Falls, Kentu
cky.”

  I rubbed her back. “I never thanked you for that, by the way.”

  “For what?”

  “The blog idea. Telling me about the moonbow. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t be living my dream of making this cross-country trip.”

  She bit her lip, stirring the sauce. “Are you going to make it one of your stops?”

  My heart swelled. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  She checked the boiling water. “I think the rigatoni’s done. It should be al dente, right?”

  “Yes.”

  We put the dish together before sliding it into the oven. Tabitha grabbed two bottles of wine. “White or red?”

  “Red.”

  She popped open the bottle as I grabbed two glasses out of the cupboard.

  “What about kids?” I asked. “Do you want any?”

  “Eventually, but I’d really like to live life for a while before I have those kinds of responsibilities.”

  “Me, too,” I admitted.

  Her eyebrows rose as she poured wine into my glass. “You want kids one day?”

  “I do…if I find the right partner.”

  She poured herself a glass and set down the bottle. “And who is the right partner, by your definition?”

  I leaned against the counter and sipped my drink, wanting to tread carefully with this one. “First, someone I connect with on a deep level.”

  “Okay, that’s one. What else?”

  “Someone I’m attracted to, and vice versa.”

  “You mean, she must be attractive?”

  “No, not even that. I’ve dated women that some may not consider objectively beautiful, but there’s something about their personality or their character that sets them apart, and that’s a very attractive quality. Look at Jack Nicholson in his day. Stalky, short, and bald, but great eyebrows and dripping with confidence and charisma.”

  Tabitha laughed and leaned against the counter beside me. “Not my type, but I definitely see his charm. I love that movie As Good As It Gets.”

  “Really? That’s one of my favorites and not your typical trope romance at all.”

  “No, I can find tons of skeleton plots that match it, but what makes this one stand out is the complicated characters and amazing dialogue.”

  I had the most profound urge to kiss her. Not just because she was beautiful; I appreciated her mind and everything she was and wanted to be.

  The timer went off, and I rubbed the back of my neck. “Looks like dinner’s ready.”

  When we settled in at the table, I watched her take the first bite, and she closed her eyes and chewed slowly as if savoring every bit of flavor. “Wow, Reed. This is really good.”

  “I’ll let Nonna know.”

  She chuckled and forked another rigatoni. “So, you never finished.”

  “Never finished what?”

  “Defining your ‘right’ partner. You have one, deep connection, and two, mutual attraction. What else?”

  “I don’t really have any other requirements except that she must love to travel, obviously. Or we probably wouldn’t work. I just want a true partner, someone I couldn’t imagine living life without. Like I said before, with an engagement, she’d be my world, my life, and we’d figure it all out together along the way.”

  Her lips parted, and she stared for a moment before looking down at her meal and taking another bite.

  “What about you? The ‘right’ partner?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. I’d like someone who appreciates me, sees me…someone who I don’t feel I have to please all the time at the risk of losing them.” She took a gulp of her wine and forced a smile.

  I hesitated, unsure if what I was about to ask would lead to a fight. “Did you feel that way with Mark? That you had to please him?”

  She set down her fork. “Honestly? Yes…but not because he forced me to. It was all me. I knew he was a good man, and I didn’t want to get rejected again.”

  Mark was fucking blind not to see how incredible you are without having to change one damn thing.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She waved it off. “I’m fine.” She tilted her head with a pleading stare. “But no more heavy stuff tonight. We have a beautiful meal, and I’d rather laugh tonight.”

  “Done.”

  A devious smile spread across that beautiful mouth of hers. “Now, about those naughty thoughts you had yesterday.”

  “Don’t you dare start,” I playfully warned.

  “I know I wasn’t very welcoming when you first got here, but I’m glad you came.”

  “No, I deserved that. I know I’ve been an asshole these past few years.”

  She pointed her fork at me. “Yeah, why was that?”

  The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t tell her. Not yet. “One day, I’ll tell you, but know I had my reasons, although that’s still not an excuse.”

  “All right.”

  There were times Tabitha would tease and beg to get something out of me, but others she seemed to know when to let it go, like now. She knew me better than anyone, but I’d never let her entirely in. I wanted to. I wanted to share everything with her…if she’d accept me when she was ready.

  20

  I Challenge You to a Duel

  Tabitha

  After breakfast, I cuddled up on the couch and started a new book, intending to spend the entire day lost in fiction, my excuse for keeping away from Reed. I knew how to deal with cocky, smart-ass Reed, and even aloof jerk Reed, but the side of him I’d seen the last couple days, I didn’t know how to fully handle. I’d only seen it in spurts in the past but not this long and not to this degree.

  It was downright unsettling. And not because I didn’t like it, but because I loved it.

  I thought today would bring back the snarky or aloof Reed, but he was helpful with breakfast and cleanup, and even smiling as if he was genuinely happy I was here with him. For a moment, I considered the idea that maybe this new relationship we were developing could grow into more one day. But that thought scared the hell out of me.

  Reed was unpredictable and far from safe…unlike Mark.

  And then there was the fact he was leaving for his road trip soon.

  And he’d already broken my heart before. There was no way I was putting myself through that again.

  Reed was off-limits. Friend zone only…and even that was hard.

  “Tabitha, you will never guess what I found down in the basement.” Reed plopped a musty cardboard box in front of me on the coffee table. He reached in and pulled out an old Operation board game and then Perfection. “Remember when we used to play with our parents’ old games?”

  I chuckled. “Those were awful, and even worse when I played them with you.” Reed had always tried to scare me and make me jump so that I’d stress out and make a mistake.

  “Wanna play?”

  “So you can kill me of a heart attack? No, thank you.”

  “Come on, for old time’s sake.”

  “I’d rather not.”

  Reed huffed and took the box back downstairs. About ten minutes later, he came back up with another box and a mischievous look in his eyes. I was almost afraid to ask.

  I looked down at my Kindle, pretending I wasn’t interested.

  “Remember these?” Reed held two Super Soaker water guns in his hands and waggled his eyebrows as if challenging me to a duel.

  I bit my lip, wanting to cave, but went back to my book. “No way. You cheat.”

  “I never cheat.”

  I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Count me out.”

  “Too bad, because you’ll miss out on some fun,” he playfully warned.

  “I’m sure I’ll recover just fine.”

  He walked away with the box, and I went back to reading, hoping he wouldn’t drag something else up the stairs.

  After about five more minutes, I heard him come up but ignored him. I near jumped out of my skin when a stream of water hit me on the side of the face. I looked up
to find Reed with the gun in his hand and a grin spread over his lips.

  The other Super Soaker was by his feet, and he pushed it in my direction with his foot. “I dare you.”

  Half angry that he’d gotten in a cheap shot and half excited at the thought of getting him back, I jumped off the couch, accepting his challenge. “You better run.”

  He got in one more shot when I reached for the toy then ran out the front door.

  Too easy. Reed would expect me to run out after him, and then he’d pop out of nowhere and get me. Instead, I headed out the sliding glass doors to the patio and looked both ways before sneaking to the side of the house. I peeked around the corner, ready to aim and fire once he was in sight.

  “You really should check behind you.” Reed’s voice was close, and I instantly turned and fired, but he ducked, simultaneously shooting a stream of water at my chest and up into my face. I wiped away the water dripping into my eyes and saw him escaping around the corner on the other side of the house.

  I was about to follow when I had a better idea.

  I ran toward the water hose and turned on the outside faucet. This squirted a lot more water and more powerfully than any Super Soaker. I peeked around the corner and saw him coming, his head averted the other way to check whether I was in sight. I pulled back and waited a few seconds before jumping out and getting him with the hose. “Take that!” I yelled.

  He held up his arm, shielding his face, but I soaked him from head to toe.

  Reed threw down the toy. “You’re so going to get it for that move.” He charged toward me, and I dropped the hose, giggling as I took off running into the yard, but not before water hit my back and splashed through my hair. I spun defensively and fell to the ground, and he stopped.

  I rolled over and found Reed above me with the hose pointed down at me. “You cheated.”

  I grinned. “I learned that move from you, Reed.”

  He laughed and held out his hand to me.

  “Give me the hose first.”

  “Not on your life.”

  “Then throw it out of reach.”