Wings

by E. D. Baker

  Although Tamisin didn’t like going into the fairy forest without Jak, the fairies didn’t give her time to think about it. Darting from tree to tree, they moved so quickly that she had to run to keep up. At first all she could see of them were bright lights the size of fireflies, but the deeper they led her into the forest, the darker it became and the better she could see the tiny beings. Soon she was able to discern individual clothes and faces. Their wings were still a blur, however, and it hurt her eyes to look at them because they seemed to be the source of the fairies’ light.

  At first they didn’t encounter anyone, but after many twists and turns they saw a water nymph rearranging pond lilies in a small lake. Another turn in the path and Tamisin saw a woman with brown skin and hair like willow leaves conversing with a birch tree. Then a pale nymph with leafy hair leaned out of the tree and turned to watch her.

  Still following the fairies, Tamisin saw one amazing creature after another. She saw goblins who looked like birds and animals cooking food over fires. A woman with pure white skin, fiery red eyes, and a wild halo of white hair was making daisy chains beside an enormous woman with two heads. Fairies as big as humans tended flowers, mended clothes, and collected fallen leaves. Although Tamisin tried not to stare, everyone stared at her as if she were something extraordinary.

  The farther they went into the forest, the prettier it became. Huge shade trees towered over a profusion of their smaller cousins, which in turn stood guard over such a variety of shrubs and flowers that Tamisin was amazed. Everything that could bloom seemed to be doing so at once, filling the air with a heavy perfume.

  Tamisin was rounding an enormous group of rhododendrons covered in purplish-pink blossoms when Tobi, head down and muttering to himself, ran into her. The little goblin stumbled and fell flat on his back. Tamisin reached down to help him, but he brushed off her hand, declaring in an annoyed voice that people should watch where they’re going. And then he looked at her face and his jaw dropped. “Tamisin!” he said even as his gaze darted from shrub to path to shrub again, as if looking for somewhere to hide. “Excuse, pardon, forgive me. I didn’t mean to run into ya like that.”

  “Tobi!” said Tamisin. “What are you doing here? Did you come to see the queen?”

  “Who? Me? Of course not! Why would the likes of me be visiting the queen, Her Majesty, Titania? No, I was just passing through, going by, in the neighborhood. Nothing to do with the queen. Sorry, I’ve, uh, got an important engagement, meeting, errand … Gotta run!” Tamisin stepped aside as Tobi scurried past, giving her one last furtive glance before disappearing behind the shrubs.

  “I wonder what that was all about,” Tamisin murmured. “He seemed awfully nervous.”

  Swooping around her in a brilliant, twinkling mass, the little fairies herded Tamisin into a mossy glade. She was halfway across before she saw the throne. Made of twisted branches still growing and in leaf, the back of the throne rose higher than her head and bore a crown of snow-white blossoms. Goblin and fairy women as well as a group of nymphs were gathered near it, fussing over the fairy standing serenely in their midst. While one brushed her golden hair with a nettle brush, others polished her nails with pink rose petals or held up dresses for her approval. She had turned away to stroke the sleeve of a misty gray dress when Tamisin approached.

  “Why did you come back, Tobianthicus?” the fairy queen asked without looking up. “You already gave me your report.” It wasn’t until a group of Tamisin’s fairy escorts broke away, darting toward the queen in an agitated frenzy of twinkling lights, that Titania turned her head. Seeing Tamisin, Titania waved her hand, dismissing her attendants and the tiny fairies.

  “Come closer, my dear,” the queen said in a voice as soft as a summer breeze and as sweet as the violets growing beneath her feet.

  Tamisin approached the throne, drawn by her own curiosity as much as by the queen’s command. The fairy queen was the most beautiful person Tamisin had ever seen. Her skin was flawless, her features were delicate and well proportioned, and her hair cascaded down her back in a river of curls. Although she was truly lovely, it wasn’t her beauty that made Tamisin stop and stare.

  Tamisin had been prepared for a lot of things when she met the fairy queen. She’d expected her to be beautiful, delicate, and otherworldly in ways she couldn’t even imagine. Although Titania was all of those things, what Tamisin didn’t expect was that looking at the fairy queen was a lot like looking at herself.

  Like Tamisin, the queen had hair the color of sunlight and slightly tilted eyes of a brilliant turquoise. Although their noses were equally slim and straight, Tamisin’s mouth was fuller, her chin not quite so pointed. The two faces might have been copies of each other, only Tamisin’s was more substantial and … human.

  “What … I mean, how …,” Tamisin began, pressing her hand to her cheek.

  “Tobianthicus was right,” Titania said. “The resemblance is remarkable. I couldn’t deny who you are even if I’d wanted to. It’s odd though. I never expected to see you again, but now that you’re here I couldn’t be happier. Welcome home, Tamisin, my very own little girl.”

  “What are you saying?” asked Tamisin. “I admit there is some similarity, but …”

  “You’re my daughter, Tamisin. Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. I gave birth to you … How many years ago was it?”

  “Fifteen,” said Tamisin in a high, thin voice that she barely recognized as her own.

  Titania nodded. “That’s right. Fifteen years, human time. It seems so long ago.”

  Tamisin wasn’t thinking when she replied, “My mother says it seems just like yesterday.”

  “But I’m your mother!” Titania said, sounding annoyed. “I told you that. Whoever took care of you was doing it because I couldn’t. They weren’t your real parents. Now that you’re here with me I want you to forget all about those other people. Tell me, is there anything you want to know? Anything at all?”

  “There’s a lot, actually,” said Tamisin. “If you were my mother, and I must admit, you look like you must be, why didn’t you want me? Why didn’t you raise me yourself? Did you give me away or did someone steal me from you? And if they stole me, why didn’t you come looking for me?”

  “Those weren’t at all the kinds of questions that I meant. Don’t you want to know about me? I am the fairy queen, after all. Very well then—if anyone is going to ask questions, I should be the first. How did you learn that you were not an ordinary human?”

  “It was … everything. It was my ears and my spreckles and my dancing and the fairies and the way the goblins kept finding me and then it was my wings and …”

  “Did you say wings?” said the queen, frowning ever so slightly. “I had no idea. You had no fairy qualities at all when I sent you away. No matter. Apparently your fairy side has come forth more than I anticipated. I sent you to the humans thinking you would fit in with them. I never intended for you to return to me. Weren’t you happy there?”

  “I was very happy,” said Tamisin. “But I’ve always known I didn’t belong, that I was different. I know a lot of girls feel that way, but my differences were bigger than most and a lot more obvious. And now I’d like to ask you a question if I may.”

  Titania sighed. “What would you like to know?”

  “Why did you send me away? Didn’t you want me here? Didn’t you want me at all?”

  “What you mean to say is, didn’t I love you? A perfectly reasonable question, considering the circumstances. Yes, I suppose I did, but it was obvious from the start that I couldn’t keep you. You were a red, squalling thing, unlike normal fairy babies, who are pink-cheeked and happy from the moment they are born. Yet even so I would have kept you by my side if things had been different. I had conceived you through my husband’s trickery, and having you nearby kept me from forgiving him, which I needed to do for the good of our kingdom. We have our quarrels, Oberon and I, but we are strongest when we are together.”

  “So you sent me awa
y so you could stop fighting?”

  “In part, but also to keep you safe. Your father was a human, made to look like a donkey goblin on the night of your conception. I fell in love with him, or thought I did, through magic that was soon reversed. It was many months before I knew that I carried a child, but time passes differently in the human world, and your father had grown old and died by then. You would have gone to him had he still lived.”

  “That story sounds awfully familiar,” said Tamisin.

  “I believe a human named Shakespeare once included it in one of his tales. He took great liberty in the retelling, embellishing that which should not have been made public knowledge. I was not pleased, but he was only human and the fey rarely take humans’ stories seriously.”

  “Why should it matter to them?”

  “By the time you were born, much had changed in the human world, yet too much had stayed the same here. The king and I had conquered the goblins years before and they have been rebellious ever since. Most goblins abhor humans, which I regret to say is a common feeling among the fey. Should the goblins have learned that I had borne the daughter of a human, they would have seen it as just cause to take up arms against me. Even more so if they had known that the human had resembled a goblin when I knew him; they would have considered it a gross insult. Goblins would have killed you, or worse, had I kept you here. You can see that I sent you away for your own good.”

  “Yeah …,” Tamisin said. “You were thinking only of me.” She sat down a few feet from the throne even though she was pretty sure she was supposed to remain standing in the presence of royalty. Somehow she no longer cared. Her real mother had just told her that she’d have been an embarrassment if she’d stayed … an inconvenience, a political disaster, a—

  “I understand that this is a great deal to comprehend all at once,” Titania said.

  “Especially since I’m only human,” muttered Tamisin.

  Titania appeared to be relieved that Tamisin understood. “Indeed,” she said, nodding.

  “Except I’m not!” said Tamisin. “My life would have been so much easier if I were! You sent me to live with people who couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to be part fairy. I had no idea what it meant when I changed and no one else did either. There’ve been times I was convinced that I was going crazy! Didn’t it ever occur to you to care about what my life was like? You made me, then threw me away like I was a shoe that didn’t fit!”

  “The decision was not as easy as that, I assure you,” said the queen.

  “Sorry I made your life difficult,” Tamisin said. She knew that she shouldn’t talk to the queen of the fairies that way, but the woman was also her mother.

  “You need not apologize,” said Titania, “although your coming here was ill advised. Everything that I was hoping to avoid when I sent you away is coming to fruition. Your return could not have come at a worse time. Oberon and I have quarreled again. Even now he is on the shores of the Southern Sea. In his absence my forces are depleted, as he has taken half our troops with him. There are rumors that the goblins are planning an uprising. I am certain that they know of Oberon’s absence and hope to take advantage of it, especially now that you’ve fueled their anger with your presence.”

  “But the goblins brought me here!”

  Titania reached out to pat her on the head. “Do not blame yourself. You had no way of knowing.”

  “I wanted to come meet you, but I think it would be best if I went home now. I guess I fit in there better than I do here.”

  “If only you had realized that sooner,” said Titania, “but it is already too late. Many have seen your arrival and word has spread. My scouts tell me that goblins are looking for you even now. Should you leave this forest, you will be captured and used against me. I cannot let that happen. This will be your new home, Tamisin, for better or for worse.”

  Tamisin’s jaw dropped. “You mean I have to stay here?”

  “Don’t say it as if I’m imposing a terrible sentence on you. I’m offering you a home that most girls would give anything for. You’ll have the freedom to do whatever you want, provided you stay in the Old Forest. You’ll have handmaidens at your beck and call to bring you the best of everything the fey can provide. Unlike in the human world, you’ll never have to go to school, and you’ll answer to no one but me.”

  “I can never see my friends or family again?”

  “I am your family now, Tamisin. You have no need of anyone else.”

  Chapter 21

  Jak was waiting at the head of the path when Leadless appeared to escort him into the forest. After the gnome left, no one spoke to Jak until Tamisin arrived with her fairy escort, who stayed long enough to circle Jak as if to remind him that he’d better mind his manners.

  Jak took one look at Tamisin’s expression and said, “Isn’t she willing to help? I thought she might let you stay here until she gets it straightened out with the goblins.”

  “Oh, I’ll be staying here, all right. Tell me, Jak, did you know she was my mother? Was I the only one who had no clue that—”

  “Titania is your mother? You’re joking, right?” When Tamisin shook her head, Jak’s legs went weak and he had to sit down on the hollow log behind him. It made sense that the fairy queen was her mother. After all, they both could control the weather. He couldn’t believe that he’d been traveling with Titania’s daughter. Of course, he’d intended to kidnap Tamisin, and he would have if it hadn’t turned into a rescue. He was in so much trouble …

  “I look just like her,” Tamisin was saying when Jak began to pay attention again. “Titania is the one those people were talking about at the inn. Tobi knew about it. He had to. Did you know that he’s one of Titania’s spies? He had given her his latest report just before I got there. He didn’t want me to know about it and was awfully nervous when he saw me. Titania as much as admitted it, although I don’t think she intended to.”

  Jak buried his face in his hands. “I had no idea she was your mother,” he said. “I’ve never been to court before, or seen the queen during any of her travels. How was I supposed to know that you looked like her? And if Tobi’s a spy … How did he … I mean, when—”

  “You can ask him yourself when you see him. He’s here somewhere.”

  “That would explain why he always knew so much about what was going on. He came and told me things … I thought he’d learned them from my uncle, but if he was really working for Titania … And to think that I trusted him!”

  “He’s still your friend, Jak. I don’t think Tobi would do anything to hurt you.”

  “Not intentionally, maybe,” Jak said, rubbing the scar on his forehead where the broken pottery shard had hit him in the Pit.

  When he felt Tamisin sit down beside him, Jak glanced at her and said, “Was Titania happy to see you?”

  “She said she was, but then she told me how all her problems are my fault.”

  “Why would she say that?”

  “She didn’t say it in so many words, but she did say that because I came to see her, the goblins know that she had a half-human child and that they’re going to use the knowledge against her. Oberon is away and so is half her army, so she’s got a real problem. So do I. She said I can’t go home. I have to stay in her forest or the goblins will kill me, or worse, whatever that means.”

  “Do you want to go home?” asked Jak.

  “I don’t know what I want, but I do know that I don’t want to stay here forever. I fit in here even less than I did in the human world. Have you seen how delicate these fairies are? Even the big ones look fragile. I feel like an elephant in a room full of baby chicks. One false move and I’ll crush the lot of them.”

  “From what I’ve heard, I’d say that fairies aren’t as fragile as they look. And I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself. You might like it here after a few days. I’ve seen worse places to live.”

  “I’ve been trying to remember why I ever wanted to meet my mother. I guess
I expected too much. I was hoping she’d be this wonderful woman who loved me and missed me and couldn’t wait to meet me and we’d ask each other all sorts of questions. Did you know that when I met Titania today, the only thing she wanted to know about me was how I’d learned that I was a fairy? I didn’t really get to ask her much. I wanted to ask about my father. She did tell me that he’s dead.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” said Jak.

  “She also said that the goblins would be even more stirred up if they knew that my father was a human who’d been made to look like a goblin, as if being human was a horrible thing and even worse if they thought he was mocking the oh-so-wonderful goblins. Then she said that everything she was trying to prevent is going to happen because I came here.”

  “You’ve forgotten that the goblins were looking for you even in the human world. I wonder if Titania knows how long they’ve been after you. Oh, yeah,” he said, shaking his head. “Forget I said that. If Tobi knew, I’m sure she did, too.”

  “Was that goblin telling the truth when he said that you went to the human world to kidnap me?”

  “I wouldn’t put it that way, exactly,” Jak said, choosing his words carefully. “I went to find you and persuade you to come back with me, but I had no idea who you were. All I knew was that you had seen goblins when no one else could and that you were a danger to goblin-kind, especially since you could throw lightning bolts as easily as most humans throw Frisbees.”

  “That’s ridiculous!” said Tamisin.

  “I had a feeling you didn’t know you had the talent. You never seemed to do it on purpose. Haven’t you noticed that there’s thunder and lightning whenever you’re upset?”

  Tamisin shook her head. “No, there isn’t!”

  “Really?” said Jak. “What about my Halloween party?”

  “That was a coincidence! How could lightning have anything to do with me?”