Love Restored

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “You’re going to get your clothes wet,” she whispered.

  “Fuck my clothes. Let’s get you dressed and dry so you don’t catch a cold.”

  She looked over his shoulder and reached out. “I need my phone.”

  He shook his head. “It’s in my hand behind your back. If someone calls, we’ll know.”

  Graham set her on her feet and let the towel slide away so she stood in her bedroom, naked and bare. She’d been this way before with him, of course, but there was nothing sexy about this time. He ran the towel over her body, being as gentle as he could with those large hands of his, before wrapping the towel around her shoulders and turning back to her dresser.

  He hadn’t been over to her place enough to know where things were, so it took him a bit to find her some clothes. Of course, if they’d been at his place, she’d have been able to find anything of his because he’d let her in.

  She’d always kept him a little bit apart from her, even when she’d told herself she loved him.

  And yet, no matter how hard she’d tried, her world had still fallen out from under her.

  He helped her dress in silence as her heart thudded in her ears. She didn’t like this person she’d become and knew she needed to snap out of it and do her best to find her daughter.

  She let out a breath when Graham finished helping her dress, and she ran her hand over his beard. “Thank you.”

  Graham sighed, his body shaking. “God, Blake. I don’t know how to help you. That little girl means so fucking much to me, and I’m at a loss as to how to help. I wish there was someone to tell us what to do right now, but no matter what, I’m here if you need me. Okay? I’m here.”

  She nodded, though she wasn’t sure what to do either. Without another word, she pushed past him into the living room where the others had gathered. Mrs. Gonzales had brought over food, and according to Murphy, had gone back to her home to cook more for “the nice policemen.”

  Blake ran a hand through her wet hair, annoyed with herself for not putting conditioner in it or even bothering to brush it. But who cared about that when Rowan was gone?

  Her phone rang, and she pressed answer without even looking at it. The room went so silent she could hear her pulse in her head. “Rowan?”

  “Ms. Brennen, this is Officer Lansing. We have Rowan.”

  Her legs went out from under her, and she fell to the ground. Graham was there by her side while the others moved toward her in the next instant.

  “Is she okay? Is she hurt? Can I talk to her?”

  “Oh, thank God,” Owen whispered, but Blake waved him off. She needed to be able to hear Officer Lansing.

  “She’s unharmed, though we still have paramedics doing a check up just in case. We’re going to bring her to your home soon and go over everything.”

  Tears once again slid down Blake’s cheeks. “What happened? Who took her? Can I talk to her?” She asked the last question again, needing to hear her daughter’s voice.

  “Rowan is with the paramedic right now, and then we’re putting her in the car and heading down to your place. I’m not near her, as I’m in Denver, and Rowan was found in Vail. Otherwise, I would put you on the phone with her right now.”

  “Vail?” she pursued, her eyes going wide. “She was at the ski cottage, wasn’t she? Oh my God, they actually took her.”

  “It’s looking that way, ma’am. But we won’t know more until we continue our investigation. Just hang tight. We will bring your daughter home shortly.”

  She nodded, though he couldn’t see her, and hung up the phone after he’d given her an approximate time.

  “They found her,” she whispered.

  “The Carmichaels actually took her?” Graham cursed. “Are you fucking serious?”

  Blake blinked up at him. “Yeah, it looks like it. I know my lawyer called earlier about how the case might be dismissed, but I never truly thought they’d take matters into their own hands like this.”

  “But what about the subcontractor, Sean?” Owen asked.

  She shook her head. “I…I don’t know.”

  She didn’t know much of anything except that her baby was coming home.

  Thank. God.

  It took almost two hours for Rowan to come home. Between the drive, traffic, and paperwork, Blake was afraid she was going to pull out all of her hair before she saw her baby girl again.

  When the officer opened the back door of his cruiser, Rowan jumped out and ran full tilt toward Blake. Blake met her daughter halfway, crushing Rowan to her.

  “Oh my God, Rowan. I love you so freaking much.” She bent down and cupped Rowan’s face before checking her over.

  “I didn’t want to go with the bad man, Mom. I swear. But he made me.” Rowan started crying, and Blake broke for her. “I missed you so much. Please don’t make me live with the mean people. Please.”

  Blake held her daughter close. “You’re never going with them. You’re only going to stay with me, my darling. You’re mine.”

  When Graham stood by Blake’s side, Rowan pulled away and jumped into Graham’s arms. He looked startled for a moment, then picked her up and hugged her close.

  “I’m so glad you’re here, squirt.”

  “I love you, Mr. Graham,” Rowan said as she nuzzled into Graham.

  Blake stood on shaky legs, her heart breaking. There must have been something on her face because Graham looked just as broken. He set Rowan on her feet and patted her back. “Go back to your mom, baby. She needs you.”

  Rowan nodded and clung to Blake again.

  “We’re safe now,” Blake said softly. “You can go.”

  Graham met her gaze, resignation on his face. “If that’s what you want.”

  “It’s what I want,” she whispered.

  He pressed his lips together before giving her a tight nod and turning on his heel. Owen and Murphy, who had witnessed the entire exchange, just shook their heads and followed their brother to the vehicles.

  She knew she was making a mistake, but she couldn’t think too hard about that, not when she had to put Rowan first. Her daughter would always be first. Even over herself.

  Though Rowan was far too big, Blake picked her up and carried her a bit before they reached the stairs. “Let’s go get you inside while the officers talk.”

  “Where is Mr. Graham going?” Rowan asked as she wiped her face.

  “Home, honey. Now let’s get you home. It’s just the two of us, right? We’re a good team.”

  Rowan sniffed but walked up the stairs, Blake on her heels.

  It turned out, the subcontractor that the Gallaghers had brought on to replace their injured man had actually been hired by the Carmichaels. And he’d apparently had another plan in place if Owen had gone with someone else. He had also been the one to hurt Gary on the site. He’d confessed everything pretty quickly once he’d been found. He hadn’t hurt a hair on Rowan’s head, but had scared the hell out of everyone.

  The Carmichaels were being brought up on charges, and Blake was told the custody issue would be off the table forever. Maybe one day she would relax about that, but for now, she needed to tuck her daughter in. Though Owen and Murphy had left with Graham, Maya and her men had stayed.

  They’d helped to clean up and kept they press at bay since an Amber Alert had been issued. They’d done so much for her, and yet all Blake wanted was to be alone with her daughter.

  “It’s time for bed, baby,” Blake said softly. “Do you want to sleep with me or in your own bed?”

  “With you,” Rowan said, her eyes sleepy. “But I want Mr. Graham to read me a story. I like his voice. He makes me feel safe.”

  If someone had stabbed her in the heart right then with a rusty knife, it wouldn’t have hurt as badly as hearing that.

  “Graham isn’t here, baby.”

  Rowan sniffed. “But I want Mr. Graham.”

  “How about I read you a story, munchkin?” Jake said from behind them. “I don’t have as deep of a voice as G
raham, but he used to read to me a bit when we were kids so I can get the voices right.”

  Rowan’s shoulders dropped, but she nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Jake.”

  “No problem, hon.” He gave Blake a look and moved past her. “Now, what are we reading?”

  Blake let them find a book, and she went into her living room, her mind not up to figuring out the next step.

  “What do you need from us?” Maya asked. She had her hand on her belly, and Border stood like a silent sentry by her side.

  Blake licked her lips. “I need you guys to leave. Thank you for being here. I will forever be grateful and in your debt. But I need everyone to go.”

  Maya shook her head. “Don’t do what I did and push everyone who cares about you away when you get scared. Okay, Blake? Don’t distance yourself.”

  Blake raised her chin. “Just go. Please.”

  They stared at her a bit before packing up their things. Jake came out of the back area soon after and shook his head before leaving without a word.

  Soon, she was alone. Sure, Rowan was in the next room, but she was still alone.

  That was where she’d always been, and where she needed to be.

  She didn’t deserve anything more.

  16

  The sun beat down on Graham’s face, and the breeze that slid over his skin did nothing to tame the heat. It had been far too long since he’d stepped foot in this place, but he knew it was past time he said what he needed to say.

  Today was the anniversary of Cynthia’s death, and he knew this was the only place he should be. It might have killed him a bit with each step, but this year, of all years, he wasn’t as heavy walking toward her grave.

  He’d had a glimpse of the light beyond the darkness with Blake and Rowan, and that had shown him that just maybe he had another chance at life.

  Not that he knew what he was going to do with it once he figured out the next step.

  As he made his way through the maze of gravestones, flowers, and symbols of loss and memory, he let the breath he’d been holding seep from his lungs. He would say goodbye today, knowing it wouldn’t be the last time, but a different one nonetheless. And when he was done, he’d find a bottle to drown himself in.

  Only for the night.

  He’d earned that right, even though it shamed him.

  Standing at her grave was the one person he’d called to meet him there. Jake, Owen, and Murphy had offered to stand by him as he placed flowers on his little girl’s grave, but he’d waved them off. As her uncles, they had made their own form of peace and grieved by his side. They would be coming by later, he knew, but for now, there was only one person who needed to be there with him.

  One last time.

  “You came,” he said as he walked to her side.

  Candice brushed her hair back from her dark eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I did. Of course, I did.” She let out a breath. “Before…well before, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for coming to you like I did that day. I’m sorry for what I said to your Blake and how rude I was. I was just so lost, and I took it out on you. Mostly because I know you can take it. That’s not how I am, Graham. And that’s not how we are. I know we aren’t friends anymore, but we made a life together once. I shouldn’t take my pain out on you because that life isn’t there anymore.”

  Graham stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I was so angry with you that day. Actually, I was angry at you a lot.”

  “I was the same way,” Candice said with a sigh. “That’s why we aren’t married anymore. But I want to think that Cynthia is looking down on us, and I don’t want her to see her parents hating each other.” His ex-wife held out her hand. “I’m sorry for the way I acted, and know that I won’t be coming by your house ever again. But I do hope that one day we will meet each other again. Maybe here.”

  He stared at her hand a long time before reaching out to shake it. Then he pulled her close for a hug so he could say goodbye.

  “Maybe not next year,” he said softly. “But possibly the year after. We’ll meet here and show our baby girl how our lives are.”

  Candice pulled back and nodded, wiping away her tears. “I’d like that. And you should bring your brothers with you. I know they’re your rocks, even if you try not to think about that.” She paused, frowning. “And maybe Blake, too. If I didn’t ruin that.”

  Graham shook his head, letting out a rough chuckle. “No, I think I might have ruined that all on my own.”

  “Oh, Graham, I hope that’s not the case. You were so angry with me for hurting her that I figured she must mean something to you.”

  “She does.” He shrugged. “But I don’t know what’s going to come of it. And Candice? I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

  She smiled softly. “I understand.” She turned to their daughter’s gravestone. “We come here for her birthday and the anniversary. This guy I was dating said it was too much, that I cling too hard to something so far gone. But how can coming here two days out of the entire year be too much?”

  Graham swallowed hard. “Did you break it off with that guy?”

  Candice snorted. “He didn’t last long after he mocked my pain.”

  “Good. And as for us coming here? We’ve moved on, even if we’re moving forward and backward at the same time it seems. Us coming here is for her memory, and frankly, for our own. We’re not going to forget her.”

  “I won’t. Even though I tried to when it first happened because it hurt so much. But I’ll never forget her.”

  “Then we’ll put our flowers on her grave, tell her about our days, and come back for her birthday.” Graham swallowed the knot in his throat. “I’m stronger than I was when we first started doing this, and I know you are too now. And if the time comes when we don’t need to see this piece of what she was in order to mourn the way we need, we’ll face it.”

  Candice looked at him over her shoulder. “You are a good man, Graham Gallagher. I hope you and Blake work it out. You deserve your happy.”

  Graham let out a breath but didn’t say anything in answer to her words. He didn’t know what would happen with him and Blake. She’d kicked him out and closed herself off. He’d seen her wrap her shields so tightly around her she could barely breathe.

  As he said goodbye to his daughter and the woman he’d once loved, he thought about the woman he loved now and the little girl he wanted to be a part of his life. They would never replace what he’d had. There was no way that would ever be a problem with him. But he had to make sure that Blake understood that while he’d given her space now, he wasn’t giving up completely.

  He loved that woman and everything she brought with her. She might send him over the edge sometimes with her quick temper, but he knew he couldn’t live without it.

  He laid the flowers he’d brought on Cynthia’s grave and let out a breath. “I love you, baby,” he whispered. “Be good up there. And when my time comes, I want a hug, okay? I think about you every day, even when I’m learning to love again. You taught me that I could feel and just be. You’re my everything, darling, and because of that, I learned I could have more. So, thank you, baby girl. Rest in peace, Cynthia. Rest in peace.”

  And with that, he walked with Candice out of the cemetery, leaving her at her car as he made his way to his. He wouldn’t see his ex-wife again until they met up at the gravesite. Even then, he wasn’t sure they’d even come at the same time. They weren’t the same people they once were, but he had a feeling that they were becoming the people they needed to be.

  And it was because of Blake that he was able to be that man.

  He just hoped she’d give him the chance to do it.

  It took four days to make the appointment, and by the time he’d stepped into Montgomery Ink, his nerves were fried. There was probably an easier way to come face-to-face with her, but this had been the first thing that had come to mind. Of course, he was physically putting his body on the line to do it, but wha
t was a little pain when it came to love and finding out if forever was a done deal or not?

  When he opened the door to the shop, Derek raised a brow at him but didn’t stop working. Maya just shook her head and pointed to the back area where Blake would hopefully be. As Maya had been part of the planning process for this, he hoped she was still on his side.

  “Here goes nothing,” he mumbled to himself.

  “Just don’t fuck it up,” Derek called out, and the others laughed.

  He flipped them off and made his way to the piercing room in the back of the shop. She stood there with her back to him, reaching up for a box of gloves. The action pulled on her shirt and let him glimpse a peek of her skin. Her ink.

  He loved everything about this woman, and he’d be damned if he let her push him away forever.

  “Blake.”

  She turned on her heel so quickly she ended up dropping a stack of boxes. Since the top one had been open, gloves went everywhere. One box landed near his foot, and he calmly bent to pick it up.

  “I think you dropped this,” he said slowly. Smooth, Gallagher. Real smooth.

  “You’re here,” she breathed. “What are you doing here?”

  “I have an appointment.”

  Her eyes widened, and she tossed the boxes on the counter. “You? But I thought this was for a guy named Steve. He wants his nipples pierced or something. I don’t know since Maya took the appointment.” She snorted. “I take it you’re Steve, but do you really want your nipples pierced?”

  Graham moved forward slowly so he wouldn’t spook her and cupped her face. “Yeah, I think I do. But first, I want you to know I love you, Blake. I love you so fucking much. It hurt like hell to walk away from you and Rowan when you asked, but I did because you asked. Don’t make me leave again, Blake. Don’t tell me to walk away. Because I will. Only for you. But you know what? Every time you tell me to walk away, I’ll come right back. I love you, Blake. Be with me. Take me back.”

  He hadn’t meant to blurt that out so quickly, but apparently it had been the right thing to say because a smile spread over her face.