That sound broke the last of his restraint.
But before he could move to take off her wet jeans Holly had unzipped them herself and was working them down her legs, her teeth sunk in her lower lip as she concentrated. Alex had to tear his eyes away in order to focus on his own clothes, losing pants and shoes and boxers in one damp heap. Then he remembered his wallet. He reached for his jeans again to grab it out of the back pocket, and thanked every deity he could when he found the condom inside.
In a second he was sheathed and could turn back to Holly.
He could hardly believe how beautiful she was. She was naked, stretched out on his hallway floor gazing up at him with her lips parted, her red hair curling damply around her bare shoulders and a flush of heat staining her cheeks. She reached for him, getting her hands on his shoulders and tugging him down to her, and when he hesitated just a moment, fighting for control so he wouldn’t come before he even touched her, she arched up into him.
“Please, Alex,” she said raggedly, her green eyes enormous. “Don’t tease me. I need you…need you inside me.”
Her words were fuel to a fire. Alex liked foreplay, the kind that went on for hours, but right now he’d be lucky if he lasted two minutes. And besides, he told himself as he positioned himself at her entrance, he and Holly had already had about eighteen years of foreplay. He wasn’t going to wait one more second.
He thrust inside her, hard and deep, and the shock reverberated through both their bodies.
He went still. No woman had ever felt like this. He stared down at her, every muscle in his body taut, and saw she was frozen like he was, her eyes wide with the astonished awe he knew was mirrored in his own.
Then she was moving against him, her fingernails raking down his chest as she moaned. Her hips arched up against his and he couldn’t stop himself from rocking into her again.
Alex’s jaw clenched as he tried to go slow, knowing he didn’t have long. But Holly was gripping his arms, her legs wrapped around him, and she was gasping, “Not slow—Alex, please—” And then he was driving into her with all the passion of repressed desire, his rhythm hard and fierce and brutally possessive, and Holly was biting her lips to keep from screaming.
Her eyes flew open and she stared at him, panting, and he saw the very moment she fell over the edge, her body jerking beneath him and her head arching back, and then she did scream, calling out his name, and the sound pulled him over the cliff with her as he came, harder than he thought possible, collapsing on top of Holly as he fought for breath and the world shattered around him.
It took a long, long time to come back to earth. As soon as he could move again Alex rolled over onto his side so he wouldn’t crush the woman lying spent and lovely beneath him, drawing her close and wrapping her up tight, as if he intended to hold on to her forever.
It was an endless time before Holly could move again. It might have been hours. It seemed to take at least that long for her heart rate to slow and her breathing to return to some semblance of normal. Cradled against Alex’s chest she could hear his heartbeat better than her own, as it slowed gradually to a strong, regular rhythm.
She kept her eyes shut, not wanting this moment to end, until the contrast between the warmth of Alex’s body and the cold floor beneath her became uncomfortable and she began to long for a bed, a warm, soft bed they could burrow into and hibernate in till spring.
But to say that out loud seemed presumptuous.
As Holly felt the wonderful sexual haze start to dissipate, she pressed herself closer to Alex in an effort to recapture the warmth. He responded immediately, his arms tightening around her and one hand moving to stroke her hair.
It should have been reassuring.
Holly hid her face against Alex’s broad chest, which was ironic considering he was a big part of her fears, the fears that were flooding back now as if they’d just been waiting in the wings, driven out of her mind by earth-shaking sex. Probably they’d go away permanently if she could make love with Alex forever, but physically it just wasn’t possible. She could barely move her arms and legs now.
She took a deep breath to steady herself, but then she was inhaling the clean male scent of Alex, soap and rain and the faint tang of salty sweat, and she had to close her eyes.
What did he think about what had just happened? He had talked about wanting her, about lust and desire, but he hadn’t said anything about…
Holly stopped herself in time. Don’t even think that word, she admonished herself. The only thing that had happened here was great sex. The only thing Alex had promised her was great sex.
And boy, had he delivered. Only a fool would go scrambling for more right now. Alex wasn’t the ever-after kind of guy. He was danger and volatility and mind-blowing lust, and while those things might be amazing, they didn’t usually come attached to a Hallmark card and a bottle of Chianti.
Alex was a great friend—unless they’d just messed that up tonight—and an unbelievable lover, but it would be asking way too much to expect him to be a boyfriend, too. It would go against his nature.
Holly turned her head so her cheek was pressed against Alex’s chest and she could hear his heartbeat again. She didn’t really want a boyfriend right now, anyway. Especially not one like Alex, who could fog her brain just by looking in her direction. She needed her mind clear right now. She had a job to focus on, and a son to take care of, and a destroyed home to recreate for both of them.
If she let herself rely on Alex for things he couldn’t provide, it wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Who knew better than she did that the moment you let yourself get comfortable was usually the moment you got the rug jerked out from under you? And honestly, she didn’t think she could take it if that happened again. She had to make herself remember who and what Alex was. He was a good friend to her and to her son, but when it came to man-woman stuff he was nitroglycerin, the kind you left in the bottle if you valued your peace of mind.
A sudden visceral memory of Alex thrusting into her made her wonder, briefly, if peace of mind might be overrated, but then she thought about Brian—how much she’d trusted him, and how he’d cracked when she’d given him more than he could handle. And Mark, too—in the end, he hadn’t wanted to deal with the burdens that went with dating a single mother.
If she tried to force Alex into a role he couldn’t possibly fill, they’d both suffer for it. And she didn’t want to suffer like that again.
The cold floorboards, and the cold air against her bare skin, was starting to seep into her bones. Time to end this.
She used Alex for leverage to push herself to a sitting position.
“Hey!” he said immediately, sitting up with her and capturing her hands in his. “Where do you think you’re going?”
She hesitated and saw him tense again. Well, he might not like it, but the sooner she made it clear where things stood, the better.
“I’m going to bed,” she said quietly. “Alone. I think it would be better that way.”
Alex rose to his feet and reached down a hand to help her up. Once she was standing he kept hold of her hand, stroking her wrist with his thumb.
“I knew it,” he said, sounding almost resigned.
“Knew what?” she asked as she tried to pull her hand gently away from his.
“Knew you’d run away.” He stood looking at her, and Holly felt a wave of guilt.
“Listen,” he said, drawing her closer. “Let’s save this part until the morning. It’s traditional. If in the harsh light of day you feel the need to turn your back on what we obviously have going here, fine. But, please, Holly—at least give me tonight. Just one night. Please.”
There was no way she could say no to him. Holly was momentarily terrified that she’d never be able to say no to him ever again, but she put that thought aside for now. One night really wasn’t too much to ask.
“No sex,” she warned him.
“No sex,” he repeated. “That’s fine. I may never be able to have se
x again, anyway. I think you broke me.”
Holly grinned, suddenly liking him so much it warmed her all over. “Oh, I think you’ll live to love again. Think of all the disappointment among the female population of Ohio if you retired this young.”
He looked at her a little quizzically, but he bit back whatever he had been going to say. “Let’s sleep in your bed tonight,” he said instead as they climbed the stairs together.
“Sure,” Holly said, surprised. “How come?”
“It’s warmer,” he said as they walked down the hall and into her room.
“Warmer? Why?”
“Because it’s yours,” he said simply. Holly looked at him for a moment, not sure how to respond. Then she disappeared quickly into the bathroom.
Alex sighed. Don’t think about it, he told himself as he lay down on Holly’s bed, turning his head to breathe in the scent of her shampoo that lingered on her pillow. Don’t think about tomorrow. Hell, tomorrow a meteor might strike the earth, destroying all life on this planet and his minor relationship problems along with it.
Just think about tonight.
He heard her footsteps and switched on the bedside lamp, turning to see the soft light glowing against her bare skin. “You’re so beautiful,” he couldn’t help saying as she came toward him, and even across the room he could tell she was blushing. He lifted the covers so she could slip under them, and when he felt how cold she was he wrapped her up in the fluffy quilts, tucking her in close to him so his own body heat could seep into her, as well.
Not to mention the fact that feeling Holly’s soft skin and sexy curves pressed against him was extremely pleasant.
“Mmm,” she said as she snuggled into him, and that was pleasant too. Alex let his eyes drift closed, just enjoying the moment.
“Where’d you get the condom?” Holly asked suddenly, and the question was so unexpected that Alex laughed. “I’m serious,” she said, although he could tell she was smiling. “I mean, one second you’re naked, and the next second you’ve got a condom on, like Superman coming out of a phone booth. Well, maybe not quite like that,” she amended as he laughed again.
“I had it in my wallet.”
“You keep a condom in your wallet?”
“Fortune favors the prepared,” he said gravely, and she swatted at him.
“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I was thinking the other day you probably get lucky every week. Maybe every night.” Her tone made it a question, but Alex deliberately didn’t answer it. He just let his smile grow broader.
Finally she sighed in exasperation. “Look, just tell me. Give me a number. How many women have you been with during the last three months?”
He made a show of thinking about it, counting softly under his breath, until she swatted him again. “Okay, okay,” he said, grinning. “One.”
She stared at him. “You’ve only slept with one woman besides me during the last three months?”
He held her gaze. “No, Holly. Only you.”
“Oh,” she said, blinking in surprise.
They were lying on their sides, facing each other, and Alex ran a finger down her forehead to the tip of her nose. “New topic,” he said. “Let’s talk about our greatest sexual experiences ever. I’ll tell you mine and you can tell me yours. You first.”
She pillowed her hand under her cheek. “I’m not about to make your head any bigger,” she said severely.
“I just want to hear you say it,” he persisted, grinning.
She sighed with exaggerated patience. “Fine,” she said. “If you insist on having your ego stroked. On a scale of one to ten you were a hundred and three. Anything else you need me to tell you?”
He hid his grin this time. “That’s good for now,” he said, and then deliberately didn’t say anything else until she poked him in the chest.
“Don’t you dare,” she warned him. “I have limited sexual experience and my self-esteem is precarious. You will immediately begin complimenting me in extravagant terms or there will be consequences.”
He let his grin show then, but almost immediately it began to fade as he traced the side of her face with the palm of his hand.
“I don’t think there are words,” he said, and his voice was serious. “I’ve dreamed about what it would be like with you, and even my wildest fantasies fell short. I’ve never experienced anything even close to that with anyone else. You…” He paused and then smiled again. “I thought you were a good girl,” he teased gently.
“So did I,” she retorted, smiling back at him. “And I am, normally. You bring these things out in me.”
Like lightning he rolled her over, pinning her beneath him. “I hope I do,” he said, looking down at her, loving the way her cheeks flushed and her eyes widened and her breath started to come in little gasps. “I look at you when you’re trying to be all prim and proper and I have to get under your skin. It’s a compulsion.”
“An extremely childish compulsion,” she said, trying to speak sternly. “Also, you agreed we would not be having sex again tonight.”
“Who’s having sex?” he said innocently. He lowered himself enough so she could feel his erection between her thighs. “I’m just lying here.”
“Well, cut it out,” she said, pushing at his chest, and he moved away immediately, lying back down on his side to face her.
“Sorry,” he said ruefully. “It really is hard for me not to get carried away around you.”
She laid a palm against his chest. “I need a little time before that happens again,” she said, and her voice was almost pleading. “Maybe it’s hard for you to understand, but I need a chance to…to process. That’s just how I am. Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll take it,” he said immediately, knowing it wasn’t the offer he was looking for but willing to wait. Then he held out his arms.
She hesitated a moment and then scooted over so she was nestled against him, and he wrapped his arms around her as if she belonged there.
Which she did, Alex thought as he reached across her to turn out the light.
Now all he had to do was convince Holly of that.
Chapter Nine
It was morning. Holly knew this because she could feel warm sunlight against her eyelids.
She knew something else, too. It was hovering just out of reach, some fact of immense significance, something with consequences.
She opened her eyes and saw Alex lying on his side, facing her, a foot of space between them. The blankets covered him to the waist but he was unmistakably naked. He was also awake.
“Hi,” he said, smiling. In the morning light the crinkles at the corners of his eyes were easily visible, and his irises were the color of the sky.
“Oh, my God,” Holly said in dawning horror. She sat bolt upright in bed, but that reminded her of the fact that she, too, was naked. She snatched at the top quilt to cover herself.
Alex continued to lie beside her, one arm pillowed under his head. “You know, that’s really a pointless gesture. I’ve been watching you sleep for an hour. I know what you look like naked.”
Holly gave him a look as she slid out of bed, taking the quilt with her. “I’m sure you do,” she said with dignity.
Alex looked at her in exasperation. “You can’t seriously—” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “No, I’m not going to bother.” He sighed and rolled onto his back. “It’s my fault, really,” he said to the ceiling. “I was the one who said we should save it till the morning.”
“Save what?” she asked suspiciously.
“This. The big dramatic scene where you hit the ground running and we forget this ever happened.” He turned his head to face her. “Only this time I’m not playing. I’m not going to lie or pretend, just to make things easier for you. I want us to be together, Holly. I want to see where this is going. If you don’t want that, fine. But I’d at least like to know why. I’ll respect any decision you make. I just want to understand why you’re making it.”
H
olly replayed Alex’s words in her head, trying to focus.
“That’s fair,” she said after a moment. “That’s certainly fair.” She knew she sounded like a lawyer negotiating a settlement, but she couldn’t help that. She was torn right now between acute embarrassment and the desire to go back to that bed and beg Alex to make love to her again. Her thought processes were not at their best. She took a breath and spoke again. “I just want you to know…I’m not running away. Not necessarily, anyway. I just—”
“Need some time to think,” Alex finished for her, clasping his hands behind his head.
“Yes. I do.” She bit her lip as she looked at him, his bare torso unbelievably gorgeous in the golden sunlight that streaked across the bed, a blanket draped across his hips and just barely covering his…
She put a cool hand to her hot cheek. “Cold shower,” she said. “For me. Now. Then I’m going to the gym to work off some tension.”
He grinned evilly. “There are other ways to—”
She held up a palm. “Don’t bother finishing that sentence. I plan to carefully consider all the ramifications of our current situation without having my brain muddled by you.”
“Do you always approach your romantic relations like investment planning?”
She continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “After I shower, during which time you will go back to your own room, I am getting dressed and going to the gym. Then I’m going out to lunch, somewhere far from you and your body, which is screwing up my mental processes.”
“Who told you your mental processes were that hot to begin with?” he asked, grinning.
Holly chose to ignore him as she headed resolutely for the bathroom, her quilt trailing behind her like the robes of an empress. She could hear Alex chuckling from across the room until she slammed the bathroom door shut behind her.
Holly had never worked out so hard in her life. Her inner turmoil translated into raw adrenaline, and she went through her usual circuit with single-minded intensity. When she finished with the Nautilus machines and went over to the stationary bicycles, she was surprised to find Gina on one, pedaling away as if her life depended on it. Holly put a hand on her shoulder and she jumped.
Winning the Right Brother Page 13
