“Holly! Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Gina, what in the world are you doing here? Aren’t you flying to Vegas tonight to get married?”
“Well, yes,” Gina acknowledged, wiping the back of her neck with a towel. “That’s why I’m here.”
Holly frowned at her friend. “I’m not following you.”
Gina sighed. “I’m scared out of my mind. The only thing that makes me feel better is this, so here I am. It’s almost a shame the wedding’s tomorrow morning. I’m on my way to having the thighs of Lance Armstrong. I could enter the Tour de France.”
Holly pulled her off the bike and marched her over to the juice bar. Sitting Gina firmly down on one of the stools, she ordered two Energy Smoothies and sat down herself.
“Okay, start talking,” she said sternly. “What are you afraid of? You’re crazy about Henry. You guys are perfect together. You can’t wait to marry him.”
“True. All true.”
“Well, then. What are you scared of?”
Gina rested her elbows on the counter and put her chin in her hands. “Everything. Nothing. Just the idea of being married, I guess.”
“You’re not going to…” She let it trail off, not certain exactly what she thought Gina might do.
Gina kept her chin in her hands but turned to look at her friend. “Run away? Leave him at the altar? No way. I love Henry, and, anyway, I don’t let my fears make my decisions for me.”
Holly winced at that, remembering what Alex had said to her last night. “Well, good,” she said. “But I still don’t get what you’re afraid of. I would have thought you’d be, I don’t know, radiant.”
Gina looked at her in disbelief. “You’ve never heard of wedding jitters? If I’m feeling this freaked out, I can’t even imagine what Henry’s going through. His best man is probably talking him down from the ceiling.”
Holly thought about it. “I guess I thought wedding jitters are for when you have doubts. And it doesn’t sound like you have doubts.”
Gina shook her head, exasperated. “I don’t have doubts. I love Henry. That’s what’s so scary. Haven’t you ever felt something for a man that knocked you on your butt and scared the pants off you?”
“Yes,” Holly answered miserably, causing Gina to jerk upright and almost knock her smoothie onto the floor.
“What! You have not. That was a rhetorical question. I’ve never seen you messed up over a guy. Who is he? Details, Holly. It’s your duty to distract me from my gut-twisting turmoil by telling me about yours.”
Holly played with her straw. “It’s Alex,” she said reluctantly.
She stared at Holly in delighted amazement. “Your son’s coach, right? The guy you’re staying with now? The guy who carried you out of the Bengal Bar?”
“That would be him.”
Gina sat back in satisfaction. “I am really, really going to enjoy this. Tell me all.”
Holly started to brush it off, to change the subject like she usually did when her personal life came up. But then she remembered last night, and closed her eyes, and realized that this time, for once, she really did need to talk to someone.
“You remember him, right? From the bar? He’s got this body…”
“Believe me, I remember. I wanted to start at his toes and nibble my way up.”
“Well, living in the same house with him has not been easy. It was really only Will’s being there that kept me sane. And when he went away this weekend—”
“Will took off? Left you and Alex alone together?”
“Yes.”
Gina smiled. “Smart kid.”
Holly’s eyes widened. “You don’t think—oh, my God, you don’t think he did that on purpose? Trying to push us together or something?”
“I hope so. I’ve always had a lot of respect for Will’s brains.”
Holly shook her head quickly. “No. I’m sure Will wouldn’t do that. But the fact is, the very first night we were alone together…”
Gina leaned forward, eyes sparkling. “Take your time with the play-by-play here.”
Holly sighed. “It was incredible. We were coming in from the rainstorm—you remember how it poured last night. And we—we barely made it inside. We had sex in the front hallway. On the floor.”
Gina blinked. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Well, this is a side of you we need to encourage. Good for Alex.”
“You have no idea. I never felt anything that intense before. It was…” Her hands moved in the air as she searched for words.
Gina nodded. “You’ve gone nonverbal, which can be translated as off-the-scale fantastic. But this is good, right? I don’t understand where the angst comes in.”
Holly slumped. “The sex was great, and the friendship part is great, too, but I don’t think Alex is boyfriend material.”
Gina looked at her in disgust. “What is wrong with you? Who cares if he’s boyfriend material? Just enjoy yourself, Holly. Have some fun. You’ve earned it. You’ve spent fifteen years being responsible and competent and a mom and a financial planner. Why don’t you enjoy being a woman for a change?”
The thought was so tempting Holly had a sip of smoothie to settle the butterflies in her stomach. “I can’t do that,” she said finally.
Gina threw up her hands. “Give me one good reason.”
“Will.”
“Right. Will. Tell me, Holly, how do you think Will would feel if he knew you were using him as an excuse not to be happy?”
“That’s not what I’m doing,” Holly argued. “It’s just…I can’t have a wild affair with his coach. Alex is important to Will. They’ve…they’ve bonded.”
“You’re important to Will, too. Why do you think he left this weekend?”
“If, and this is a big if, but if Will did leave because he was playing matchmaker or something, then it’s even worse. What if he gets his hopes up? How will he feel if—I mean, when things don’t work out? He’ll be devastated. He’s already been abandoned by his father. He doesn’t need to be disappointed like that again.”
“Will’s not a little boy, you know. He’s a young man.”
“He can still be hurt.”
Gina looked at her thoughtfully. “Are you sure it’s Will you’re really worried about? You can be hurt, too, Holly.”
“I can take care of myself,” she snapped.
Gina raised her eyebrows. “Right, of course. I forgot for a minute who I was talking to. Holly Stanton, the woman who doesn’t need help from anyone.”
Holly frowned at her. “You’re starting to sound like Alex.”
Gina sighed. “Look, Holly, it’s your life. You need to make your own decisions. I just think that you could have some fun with Alex without causing undue devastation in Will’s life or yours. Men can be fun, you know.”
“Not in my experience,” Holly muttered.
“Exactly my point. You need some new experiences. But go ahead, turn your back on some really amazing sex. God forbid you actually let down your guard for two seconds and enjoy yourself.”
“Hey! I enjoy myself plenty. With or without the sex.”
Gina hopped down from her stool. “I give up. You’re hopeless. Let’s go pedal ourselves into oblivion.”
Holly sighed in relief. “Finally a suggestion that makes sense. Lead the way.”
Alex had no idea what to expect when he saw Holly again. He kept busy so he wouldn’t think about it too much, gathering up the cleaning products Holly had brought into the house and taking them upstairs to his bedroom, wanting to bring some of her warmth, her magic, into the one place she hadn’t been yet.
After he did the floors and the furniture he stripped his bed and took the sheets down to the laundry room. Holly had bought a new kind of detergent and a box of dryer sheets. An hour and a half later, pulling his bedding from the dryer, he buried his face in the clean scented warmth and felt an ache starting in his heart and spreading to every part of him.
>
He was upstairs making his bed when he heard the front door open.
“Alex?” Holly called out, her voice tentative, unsure, and Alex went to the head of the stairs and looked down at her.
“Hey,” he said.
She held up a red-and-white bucket. “I brought chicken,” she said, and he grinned in sudden relief.
“I knew you were my kind of woman,” he said, but without a leer or even an eyebrow wriggle, and she grinned back at him.
“Didn’t you notice that it’s getting dark?” she asked as he came downstairs. “I wasn’t sure you were home when I got back, even though I saw your car. There aren’t any lights on.” She was flicking switches as she spoke, in the hallway and in the living room, where she set the bucket on the coffee table. Alex sat down on the couch, blinking at the pools of mellow light that came on where she went, marveling at the way she illuminated everything she touched.
“Sorry,” he said. “How was your day?” he asked, carefully keeping to his side of the sofa when she sat down on the other end.
“It was good,” she said, laying out paper plates and plastic silverware. Alex waited for a minute, wondering if she was going to say anything else. When she didn’t, he frowned.
“Okay,” he said. “I’m trying to let you set the pace here, but I may need some help with the ground rules. Are we allowed to talk about what happened last night, or—”
“Not yet,” Holly said quickly. “Please? Just give me one more night. We’ll talk tomorrow, I promise. For tonight I was sort of hoping we could eat greasy takeout and watch a movie or something. If that’s okay with you?”
One more night. Well, at least she wasn’t rejecting him. Not yet.
“Of course it’s okay. What do you want to watch?”
“I rented The Replacements.”
He raised his eyebrows. “That’s a football movie.”
“Well, of course. It’s football season.”
“So it is,” Alex said, and settled down to eating chicken and mashed potatoes and keeping his eyes on the television screen instead of Holly’s curves.
All things considered, it wasn’t too hard. They watched the movie together and then, before there was a chance for things to get awkward, they each said good-night and went to their respective corners. Or in this case, their bedrooms.
Now it was hard. In more ways than one, Alex thought wryly, thinking it was a shame that his innuendoes were wasted on the inside of his head.
Was this going to be his life from now on? Lying awake every night thinking about Holly?
Alex sighed. Maybe he’d be better off if he hadn’t seen Holly again, or better yet, had never met her. Now that they’d actually made love it was a thousand times worse. He’d set out to ruin her for all other men and instead she’d ruined him.
Suddenly he threw the covers off and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He needed to get out of this damn house. Take a walk or something. He threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and went into the hallway, noticing that there was a strip of light under Holly’s door, which didn’t help his peace of mind. He averted his eyes as he went downstairs, where he pulled on a pair of boots and his black leather jacket.
The air outside was cool, and a few thin clouds raced each other across the moon. Alex thrust his hands into his pockets and trudged off on the walk that was somehow going to restore his sanity.
Fat chance.
Holly thought she heard a door slam. She blinked at the book she was holding in her hands, realizing that she’d been staring at the same page for twenty minutes.
Oh, what was the use? She threw the book down on the bed beside her and stared up at the ceiling.
Maybe Gina was right. Did it make sense to burn for someone like this and not have him? Right now it didn’t seem to make any sense at all. She was one breath away from getting out of bed and going across the hall to Alex’s room.
In fact, she was one breath past it. Holly sat up in sudden determination. She was wearing reasonably nice pajamas, plain and tailored but made of silk, with a camisole top.
Trying very hard not to think too much, or to do anything that would lessen the chances that she would be kissing Alex within the next two minutes, Holly slipped out of bed and tiptoed across the room, hesitating just a moment before opening her door. A moment after that she was standing in his doorway.
He wasn’t there.
She remembered the slamming door she’d heard and sighed in frustration. He’d gone for a walk. To cool down, probably. He’d been just as hot as she was, and he’d gotten out of the house so he wouldn’t act on it. Great. He was doing exactly what she’d asked him to. Wonderful.
Kicking herself for having waited this long, Holly went back to her room, crawled into bed and turned out the light. It was for the best, she told herself grimly as moonlight glimmered through the black-lace branches of the tree outside her window. She’d been saved from making a very stupid decision. Tomorrow she and Alex would talk, and decide to do the sensible thing, and in the afternoon Will would be back and everything would return to normal.
It was just too bad for her if normal didn’t seem appealing anymore.
She must have fallen asleep eventually, or at least dozed off, because when she opened her eyes and saw Alex standing at her bedside, dappled in shadows and moonlight, she thought at first she was dreaming. He was dressed for the outdoors in his boots and leather jacket, and he smelled like cold night air and autumn leaves.
“Alex?” she said, blinking up at him.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I thought you might still be awake. I thought—” Suddenly he stopped talking and dropped to his knees beside her. “I’m sorry I came in here. But I can’t… Knowing you’re so close and that I can’t have you… I don’t think I can do this, Holly. I don’t know what to do. Help me out here. Tell me something to make this stop. Tell me you hate me. Tell me to go.”
Holly was on her side, facing him. She reached out a hand and stroked the hair off his face. His eyes, which had closed, opened wide at her touch. “I can’t,” she whispered. “I don’t know what I want, either, but I don’t want you to go. Why is it so much easier to tell the truth at night?”
Alex captured the hand that was stroking his hair, placing a butterfly kiss on her palm. It made her shiver. “I don’t know,” he said, looking at her. “But I wish the sun would never come up again.”
For a moment they stayed like that, and the silence was so deep and rich that Holly could hear both of them breathing, and the whisper of the leaves outside her window. And then Alex’s hands were on her bare arms, his palms ghosting over her skin, raising goose bumps everywhere he touched.
Holly felt suddenly shy and scooted away, at least as far as the headboard. Alex only smiled, grasping her wrists and pinning them against her pillow as he climbed on top of her, his knees on either side of her hips. He still had his boots and his jacket on, and fully dressed like this he was somehow so masculine, so possessive, that all she could do was wait, heart pounding, for what he would do next.
The covers were down by her hips, and Holly watched as Alex’s eyes roved lazily over her flat stomach. She was shiveringly aware that her camisole had ridden up above her belly button. Her muscles tightened, as if she’d stepped into icy water.
Then his gaze moved up to her breasts, and Holly felt her body responding as if his look were a touch. A shudder passed through her and her nipples hardened, and she could only watch him watching it happen, and see the smile that crossed his face.
“You’re evil,” she whispered, and he exerted a little more pressure on her wrists, pinning them firmly before he released her suddenly, straightening up and laying a palm on her belly above the waistband of her pajama bottoms. Holly could have sworn her body hummed and vibrated at the touch of his cool hand against her hot skin. Then his hand was moving, sliding under the hem of her camisole, over her ribs, and then—oh, yes—covering her right breast.
Holly cou
ldn’t help herself. She arched her back, needing to feel more, needing something—
Alex seemed to know exactly what she needed. His other hand moved to cover her left breast and his thumbs were working some kind of magic across her nipples, sending bolts of pleasure straight to her core.
Any tiny bit of resistance she might have clung to melted like butter in the sun as Holly let out a wordless cry of pleasure.
His hands were moving again, tugging off her top, and she raised herself up enough to help him before she sank back down on the bed and Alex lowered his head, taking one breast in his mouth while his hand caressed the other. When he grazed his teeth across the hyper-sensitive flesh she gasped, and when he blew cool breath across her wet skin she moaned.
She was so saturated with desire it took her a few seconds to notice he was kissing his way down her stomach, and then lower.
She tensed up and put a hand in his hair to stop him.
He looked up at her, and seemed to know right away that she was a little nervous about what he was about to do.
“Trust me, Holly,” was all he said.
Then he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her pajama bottoms, catching her panties too, and in two seconds they were gone, a satin puddle on the floor, and she was completely exposed to him.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Alex said softly, his blue eyes almost black in the moonlight, and then he slid his hands between her knees and exerted steady, irresistible pressure, and Holly let her legs fall open so Alex could move between them, his leather jacket smooth and cool against her thighs and his hands coming to rest on her bare hips.
For a moment he was still, just looking at her. The sight of him like that, fully dressed and cherishing her, was so much sexier than anything she’d ever experienced that she felt a rush of moisture at her center. She gasped when he pressed his thumbs into her soft flesh and opened her gently. Then he lowered his head and licked her, flicking his tongue across the heart of her.
Winning the Right Brother Page 14
