Witch Haunted in Westerham

by Dionne Lister

  Mrs Soames turned and walked away while I stood rigid and shaking, my insides almost on fire. I want my scones back.

  She’d pushed me too far.

  The heat inside me shot through my arms and hands, dissipating and leaving my skull tingling. Retching came from the lounge room, and someone screamed. What the hell? My eyes were wide, and I slapped my hand over my mouth. Had I accidentally cast a spell?

  I trotted to the lounge room and bit my bottom lip—what was I about to find? The retching stopped just as I walked through the door. Oh, God, the smell. I gagged.

  Mrs Soames and three of her friends sat in their chairs in varying states of disgusted surprise. Vomit coated the table in front of the four women, and two of them were wiping their mouths with the backs of their sleeves. One of them, her purple perm still perky and oblivious, seemed to be frozen with her eyes wide and mouth open. Actually, she wasn’t frozen—she blinked intermittently, like a light bulb that couldn’t decide if it was going to live or die.

  The two friends who had no vomit on or around their person slowly backed away from the disaster. Maybe this would encourage them all to go home. But why had they vomited?

  Mrs Soames had recovered somewhat and stared at her friend. “What was in that cake, Beatrice? This is all your fault!”

  The one who must be Beatrice was one of the women who were discreetly trying to leave. She stopped and her mouth dropped open. “How dare you accuse me! I ate it too, and I’m not sick. But you know what I didn’t eat?” She lifted her chin and paused for what must be dramatic impact. “Those scones that you put on the table.” Oh, crap. I lifted my fingers and covered my mouth. Had I accidentally cast a spell? There was the heat in my stomach, the tingling scalp. I cringed. Oops. On the bright side, I might have my magic back, or at least almost at full strength, and I had Mrs Soames to thank… and the scones that were, um, ew.

  Everyone turned accusing glares to Mrs Soames. More than one of the old ladies had their lips pressed together. Beatrice folded her cardigan-clad arms. “Well? What have you got to say for yourself, Mrs High and Mighty?”

  “Get out, and don’t bother coming back until you can be polite to your host.” Mrs Soames stood, and some of the half-digested food fell from her lap to the floor with a little splat sound. I gagged again. “I said, get out of my house!” Her house? We so needed to get rid of her before she kicked us out too.

  “Get out, rawrk! Get out!” The bird bounced up and down, really getting into the drama. It was kind of funny and reminded me of those Facebook videos of dancing cockatoos. I bit my tongue to stop the giggle threatening to emerge.

  “You heard Ethel. I want you all gone before I come back.” Mrs Soames looked at the windowsill. “Come on, Ethel.” Then she spun quickly, too quickly for a woman of her advanced years, and wobbled. I instinctively jerked my arms forward and moved towards her in case I needed to execute a catch. She oscillated but then righted herself and stormed out— Ethel flapping in her wake—leaving her card-playing companions gaping after her.

  Once she was gone, one of the vomit-covered ladies started crying. The woman looked down at her soiled clothes in despair. Gah, it wasn’t her fault any of this had happened—it was Mrs Soames’s fault and mine. I pinched my nose and breathed through my mouth. “Would you like to have a shower? I can lend you some clothes. My aunt is only a little taller than you and about the same build. She won’t mind.”

  The lady looked up at me, eyes red. The poor thing. “I’d appreciate that. Thank you.” She stood.

  “Okay, then. Why don’t we get you cleaned up.” I addressed the other two women who had fallen victim to my temper. “The offer is there for both of you too.” One of the ladies was rather fatter than Angelica, but maybe I could call Angelica and get her to magic me some bigger clothes. Even though I’d made people vomit, I didn’t know how much of my magic had returned and if it was going to be consistent. Maybe it would come back in stages?

  The larger lady, who had vomited more on the table than on herself shook her head. “Thank you for the offer, but I live two minutes away. I’m going home.” She stood, grabbed her bag, and left.

  The other one, who was the smallest of them and sparrow-like with delicate bone structure, nervous movements, and dyed-brown hair—I figured because what eighty-year-old had brown hair—said in a soft voice to one of her friends, “Do you mind me coming with you now? I just want to go home.” As she put her hands on the table and pushed her chair back, it was clear her hands were trembling.

  “I’m so sorry about this.”

  One of the healthy ladies turned to me. “It’s not your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s Mary’s. That’s the last time I play cards with her.” She turned to the sparrow lady. “Of course I’ll take you home, Sonia. Let’s go.”

  After they all filed out, I gathered Angelica’s clothes and a towel and showed the last woman to the bathroom. When she was done and gone, I returned to the scene of the crime. Argh, what a mess. I sighed. Time to clean up, and I couldn’t use my magic because, provided I was capable, Mrs Stupid Soames could come in at any moment. She was really cramping my style. Okay, so it was more than that. She was driving me crazy, eating my scones, moving her furniture in, and waking me up early. That wasn’t even the worst part. Having to fear walking through your own home because you might come across a mean, cranky person was stressful. It was worse than walking on eggshells—it was more like walking on thumbtacks.

  My gag reflex got a massive workout while cleaning the disaster. When I was done, I had a shower because even after washing my hands, the acrid smell was still there. Stubborn little spew particles.

  Around four thirty, my phone rang. “Hello, Lily speaking.”

  “Hi, Lily, it’s Oliver Smith, the agent from this morning.”

  Yikes. Was this going to be good news or bad? And as if I’d forgotten him from this morning, although a lot had happened. “Hi, Oliver. Did you get the photos?”

  “I did, thank you. You’ve done an outstanding job, and I’m calling to offer you some paid work. I have two jobs for tomorrow. Are you able to attend?”

  I grinned and fist-pumped the air. Woohoo! “I would love to. Thanks!”

  “Great. I’ll email you the details. The first job’s at nine, and the second one is at ten thirty. They’re about five minutes from each other.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow at nine.”

  “Wonderful. And welcome aboard. I’ll also email you our standard contractor agreement. If you could also bring a signed copy with you when you come, that would be helpful.”

  “Will do. And thanks again. Bye!”

  “Bye, Lily.”

  And that was that. Yay! Getting another client felt like a milestone. Despite all the setbacks, I was slowly building a life and career here, and it was always exciting when someone liked my work, even if it was just for real-estate advertising. And let’s not forget it was something to get me out of the house and away from Mrs Stupid Soames. Win, win, win. I grinned again and texted Olivia my great news. Then I called Imani.

  “Hi, love. What’s up?”

  “I’ve got some more real-estate photography work for tomorrow morning. Are you okay to come with?”

  “Of course. What time?”

  “I’m not sure, but my first job is at nine. I can’t see it being too far away, but I’ll text you when I get the email. I’d say I’ll leave around eight forty-five, but I’ll confirm. I should need you until about eleven.”

  “Consider it done. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Thanks. Bye!” Well, the day had ended on a high note, although compared to what had happened with Mrs Soames and the scones, just about anything would be considered a high note. I was tempted to practice some magic in my room, but if this afternoon was a fluke, I didn’t want to know that now when I was on a roll. Okay, so one good thing wasn’t a roll, but I took what I could get.

  At six thirty, there was a knock on my door. Please don’t b
e Mrs Soames. Could I pretend I wasn’t here? I eyed the wardrobe. I could definitely fit.

  “Lily, are you in there?”

  Phew, it was Angelica. “Yes. Come in.”

  She came in, shut the door behind her, and mumbled something. Goosebumps whispered across my scalp. “A silence spell, but for anyone eavesdropping the normal way.”

  “Ah, okay. And I felt it.” I grinned. Looks like this afternoon hadn’t been a fluke.

  Angelica smiled. “That’s wonderful, Lily.” Her smile disappeared. “Would you like to tell me what happened here today?” Trust her to dispense with the happy stuff as soon as possible. Couldn’t I roll in the joy of getting my magic back a little longer?

  I started with Mrs Soames having her table brought in and finished with the last lady leaving. “I know she has nowhere to go, but we can’t live with her forever. What are we going to do?”

  “I’m going to start by going to her house tonight. You know I don’t believe in ghosts, but I’m willing to concede I could be wrong. But if it’s not a ghost, there has to be a logical reason for the manifestation. Either way, we do need to deal with it.”

  Finally. Why couldn’t she have done this on the first night? No one ever listened to my advice until everyone was at breaking point. Maybe I was cursed or something? Kind of the reverse of the boy who cried wolf—the girl who just cried. Yep, that was me.

  I didn’t really want to ask the next question, but I couldn’t resist. As much as I tried not to think about it, I missed him so much my heart hurt. The sadness had been on my back since we’d “broken up.” Its arms held tight around my neck, relentlessly suffocating. I didn’t know how to dislodge it—the longer we’d had no contact, the harder it was. “Have you heard from Will?”

  A shadow darkened her features, then was gone as her poker face slid into place. She shook her head but said nothing.

  “Is his assignment particularly dangerous, or is it… you know?” My heart kicked up a few dozen notches. Will was on an undercover assignment, but he was deep undercover for his other assignment, which was to infiltrate Dana’s snake group. I was betting it was the Dana assignment that was worse.

  Angelica waggled her fingers, and my scalp tingled again. “Okay, we have a traditional bubble of silence too. Lily, we haven’t heard from Will. He didn’t check in yesterday when he was supposed to, and his mission for the PIB isn’t so dangerous that he couldn’t have checked in.” Her face gave nothing away, but her body was rigid, back too straight, face too set—the effort of showing no emotion was obviously difficult.

  That just left the other option—Regula Pythonissam—Dana’s crew. Had they killed him? My stomach dropped into a chasm, taking my blood with it. My head spun. If I hadn’t been sitting down, I would have ended up on the floor. This couldn’t be happening.

  “I’m sorry to say it is, Lily.” Damn lack of mind-shield. Now that I had some power back, I’d have to get into the habit of putting it in place every morning. “I’ve put two of my best and most trustworthy agents on it. I managed to keep your brother and Beren out of this. If they’ve… if they’ve killed William, there’s nothing they won’t do, which puts anyone close to you in extreme danger.”

  “Can we have another meeting? We need to move quicker on this. It’s not just about my parents. None of us are safe until we stop them. And Will….” My heart constricted, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe.

  “I know, Lily, but we can’t rush in. They may not have hurt him at all. The alternative is that he’s fostering Dana’s trust, and he can’t risk checking in.”

  I shook my head. “That doesn’t make sense. She would know he has to check in for his other assignment. Surely he would’ve told her that. And he knows not contacting you would ring alarm bells.” Dread drew its blade tip down my back, sharp and cold. I shivered, and the hairs on my nape jumped to attention. “We have to do something.”

  It was her turn to shake her head. “It could be a trap. Maybe he’s doing well, fooling them all, and she’s dared him not to contact us to see if we come rushing in to save him. We usually wait five days to go after an agent who’s on assignment. We have to follow protocol, as much as I don’t like it. I’m sorry, Lily, but we’re following procedure on this one.”

  I clenched my fists and bit my tongue to banish the tears that burned my eyes. Tears wouldn’t sway Angelica, and I refused to cry until I knew there was something to cry about. I’d know if Will were… dead, wouldn’t I? I was a witch, and we had a strong bond, so surely I’d have felt something. Or maybe I was overly romantic, and being that deeply connected to someone was a fallacy. I took a deep breath. “Okay.”

  “I know it’s hard, Lily. Truly I do.” Her eyes held sadness, bone-weary and worn in. What secrets did she keep? Who had she lost along the way?

  I jumped up and threw my arms around her. Neither of us were super affectionate, but it was clear we both needed a hug. Her arms slid around me, and we stood that way for a minute before she stepped back, a gentle, resigned smile on her face. “We do what we must, Lily. The truth is that life is rarely easy for anyone. Everyone makes sacrifices at some point, and unfortunately, being associated with the PIB means that maybe the sacrifice you make is the person you love the most.”

  Was she talking about Will sacrificing our relationship, or me having to sacrifice him to find my parents? Either way was depressing. Until I knew the truth, I’d assume he was alive. There was no way I’d be able to function otherwise. Time to change the subject. “Can we go look for the ghost now?” I didn’t want to see it again, but I wanted to make sure Angelica did.

  “Okay, dear. I’ll grab the key from Mrs Soames, and we’ll go.”

  I donned my thick coat and boots—even though it was just across the road, she hadn’t been home, so the heating hadn’t been on, and this little Aussie still hadn’t acclimatised. Oh, and ghosts made things colder. The things I had to prepare for. Sheesh.

  The rising moon haloed the clouds in shining silver. Its clean light shone through the gaps and created shadows on the ground. Angelica strode confidently to the house while I scurried behind her, every nerve poised to fire at the slightest provocation. She slid the key into the lock and turned, shoving the door open in her no-nonsense way. Even if she saw the ghost, she probably wouldn’t be rattled. That didn’t make me feel any better though—bravery wasn’t always a great survival tactic. Just ask the idiots who think they can pat a lion in a wildlife reserve. Oh, that’s right, we can’t; they’re dead.

  I hung back as she walked into the hall. Halfway down, she turned and raised a brow at me. “Are you coming in?”

  Fear left a metallic tang in my mouth, but if anything happened to Angelica, and I could’ve helped, I’d never forgive myself. Fighting my better judgement, I stepped inside. The floorboard creaked, and I started. Damn my racing heart. Angelica shook her head, a smirk playing on her face. Yes, well, have your smirk. I’ll have mine later when the ghost attacks.

  “Come on. Let’s get this over with. I have a report to finish.” She flicked the light on in the living room and entered. I followed, constantly looking over my shoulder. That ghost could come from anywhere.

  Angelica looked at the nearly empty side of the room. “Is that where her dining table was?”

  “Yes. Are you going to make her put it back th—”

  The temperature plummeted from about ten degrees to what felt like zero. Crap. I shared a look with Angelica and shivered. A voice boomed from behind me. “Get out! I told you to get out! This is my domain.”

  I spun around. The ugly ghost hovered in front of the hallway door. His teeth were bared, as was his fat, hairy torso. Why couldn’t ghosts be buff young men? You’d probably welcome one of those in your house. It wouldn’t be like being haunted at all. But life didn’t work like that. Of course not. Not that I wished any young man dead. Hmm, maybe I should rethink all that.

  “Why don’t you make us?”

  What the hell? I jerked my
head around. Angelica’s feet were planted hip-width apart, and her hands were firmly on her hips. My eyes widened. “What are you doing? You’ll provoke it.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Look, ghost, it’s time for you to leave. Mrs Soames has nowhere to go, and she can’t stay with us much longer. Now go!”

  The ghost’s brows drew down. Anger radiated from it in waves. Where was Mrs Soames’s back door? I needed to get out of there. “I will never leave. Never!” A door slammed somewhere else in the house. I jumped.

  I split my frantic gaze between Angelica and the ghost. “Ah, I think we should go. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to go anywhere, so why don’t we?” That was the logical conclusion as far as I could tell, plus I didn’t know how much longer I could hold off wetting myself. Being scared to death was hard work.

  “Why this house, hmm? Mrs Soames has lived here for years, and you show up all of a sudden. You should go back to where you came from.”

  “Never! Anyone who lives here will face my wrath and die. Stay at your own peril.” It darted around the room, passing two paintings, knocking each one off the wall. They landed with a crash of broken glass. The shards lifted off the floor. Oh, crap. I didn’t have much magic to defend myself with, and what if magic was no protection against a supernatural being? Angelica could be about to cop a shredding.

  “Come here, Lily.” I hurried to her, wondering why I was running the opposite way to where I actually wanted to go, which was the hallway. She mumbled something, and a protective shield formed around us. It shimmered as it oscillated. Through it, I looked longingly at the opening to the hallway and freedom. “Don’t worry. Nothing can touch us in here.”

  “Prepare to die!” the apparition screamed. The deadly projectiles launched. My eyes shut tight, and I dropped to the floor in a crouch, my arms protecting my face. I trusted Angelica, but not that much. She’d never been in a situation like this as far as I knew, so her assumptions could be wrong.

  Hmm, Angelica wasn’t screaming. The sound of glass smashing filled the room. I opened my eyes. A carpet of twinkling fragments littered the floor in front of the shield. “See, I told you.” Angelica smiled. Well, someone was self-righteous today.