Coffee & Crime

by Anita Rodgers

  Zelda punched in the number on her phone. "Son of a bitch!" She pointed to the phone. "A recording. I'm getting a recording!"

  "Hang up the phone," Joe croaked.

  Zelda closed her phone and knelt down. "Hey buddy, are you okay?"

  Joe struggled to get up but I stopped him. "Don't move. Lie down."

  He shimmied away from me. "Hell I will," he muttered and struggled to sit up. His eyes like blue pebbles in pale face and he squinted against the light.

  "How do you feel?" I asked.

  Joe rubbed the back of his head. "Like I been whacked with a baseball bat."

  I took him by the arm to offer support. "Can you stand up?"

  Joe's gaze scattered around the room. "What in blazes happened?"

  Zelda took him by the other arm and we helped him to his feet. "Somebody broke in and used you for batting practice."

  Joe wobbled and used the desk for support. "Sumbitch." He swiveled his head right to left. "What'd they get?"

  I spotted the blood on the side of his neck and checked his head. "Shit, you're bleeding. Zelda, go grab a towel."

  Joe turned his head trying to see his wound. "What? Where?"

  "Hold still old man and let me look at it." The gash still bled and a path of blood trailed down his neck into his shirt collar. "You've got a pretty deep cut." I scanned the room for anything with blood on it but didn't spot anything. "They must've taken the weapon with them."

  Zelda came back with a damp hand towel and I pressed it to the back of Joe's head. "Hold this to your head and keep applying pressure." To Zelda I said, "He needs stitches, we better get him to the emergency room."

  Joe snorted like a horse. "Ain't none of me."

  "Don't give me any grief old man," I snapped at him. "You're going. End of story."

  Joe muttered and complained but let us guide him out of the building. I staggering step at a time. Getting him into the backseat took forever because he refused help but was so woozy he couldn't get his brain and feet on the same page. Once he got in, I climbed in next to him and kept him talking, so he wouldn't black out. I knew that a head wound could be serious, and if he passed out, he could slip into a coma.

  Zelda drove fast but carefully. She watched us in the rearview mirror. "How's he doing?"

  "He's doing fine, Miss Zelda" Joe muttered. "No cause to talk like I'm dead or nothing."

  "Do you remember anything?" I asked.

  Joe labored to sit up and managed a half-slump. "I went out for a slice of pie and when I got back, the place looked like a cyclone hit it. I started cleaning up the mess then somebody whacked me from behind."

  "You didn't see anything?" I asked.

  "No ma'am. I was cleaning one minute and seeing stars the next."

  "But how'd you end up in the back room?"

  "Didn't I just say I was cleaning up the mess?"

  "But the front was a mess too — why start in the back?"

  Joe struggled to gather his thoughts. "Don't know...it was...I heard a noise." His face brightened and he nodded. "I heard noise from the back and worried that Eric was in there. Maybe he was hurt or...I don't know..."

  "Okay you went to the back room and then what?"

  "A big old mess but nobody there. So, I stepped into the room and bam!"

  <<>>

  The emergency room snapped and popped and looked more like a high-end hotel than a medical facility. Eventually Joe was called and taken under protest by wheelchair to have his head sewn up.

  We slouched in a waiting room chairs yawning and trying to stay awake. The fluorescent lights were a knife in my eyes and my stomach churned with acid.

  Zelda snickered at my growling stomach. "You should have let me stop for burgers on the way."

  I managed a smirk. "Yeah but you never would’ve forgiven yourself if Joe’d slipped into a coma and became a vegetable."

  Zelda made a face. "Where do you come up with this crap?"

  I looked toward the main corridor. "They must have vending machines in this place." I slumped back in my chair and gave her a pitiful look. "Somewhere?"

  Zelda grunted. "In your dreams, blondie." She smacked in the back of the head. "I ain't carrying you back to the car, so perk up, girl."

  I sneered at her. "You cheap bastard, I would've paid for the parking."

  She dug through her pockets and did a sit-down happy dance when she found a furry roll of breath mints. "Aha!" She offered it to me. "Dinner is served."

  I pushed her hand out of my face. "I prefer my food without the fur, thank you."

  "Picky, picky, picky." She popped a couple of mints into her mouth. "Lint is fiber. Fiber is good."

  I leaned my head back, closed my eyes and listened to the hospital background music. As bad as it was, it lulled my body into relaxing a bit. Just as my muscles stopped ticking and twitching, an unwelcome voice invaded my peace.

  "Well, well if it isn't our favorite waitresses visiting our fine city once again." Daniels plopped into the seat to my right and caused a mini earthquake in the bank of chairs. "How the hell are you?"

  I opened one eye. "Go away."

  Davis slid into the chair next to Zelda on the other side, effectively making us a cop sandwich. "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

  I opened the other eye and huddled against Zelda. "Doesn't this classify as police harassment? Call our lawyer."

  Daniels patted my knee. "Nah. A friendly chat amongst friends?"

  I scooted to the edge of my seat and leaned my elbows on my knees. "Stalking doesn't constitute friendship." I scowled at him. "Ever heard of civil rights?"

  Daniels leaned in. "We told you that nosing around in this was a bad idea."

  Zelda glared. "You also told us this was officially an accident. You told us a lot of shit." She arched an eyebrow. "Shit being the operative word here."

  I pushed out of my seat. "Right, if it's officially an accident. What business is it of yours?" Neither had a response. I put my hands on my hips and stared down at them. "So it's just a coincidence that Joe's in the emergency room getting his head stitched up?"

  Davis rolled her eyes. "Listen drama queen, everybody's got secrets. You poke at a bee's nest you're going to get stung."

  Zelda moved away from Daniels and Davis to another seat. "This shit is giving me a headache."

  I stared at them. What was their game? What did they really want? "This is a little worse than a bee sting. But while we're being friendly and all, you could tell us who made the complaint."

  The cops exchanged a look and Davis said, "The mayor's office ordered us to shut you down."

  Zelda snorted. "First the Police Commissioner and now the Mayor? What’s with you people?"

  The cops had delivered their message and stood up. "Like I said, you poke around in other people's lives, they get touchy." Davis shot me a dirty look, and nudged Daniels to the exit. "Night."

  "Hey wait. Aren't you here to take a report about Joe?"

  They kept walking but Daniels said, "Not our jurisdiction. Call Foothill Division if you want to file a report."

  I gaped at them. "You're not going to do anything?" I swiveled back to Zelda. "They're not going to do anything?"

  Zelda slouched in her chair and fumed. "Forget it. Forget them."

  I sunk into the chair next to her. "Should we call Foothill Division?"

  "For what? We've got way too much cop around here already."

  I rubbed my face and sighed. "You're right. But didn't Maggie Manston say she was a good friend of the Mayor's?" Zelda perked up and nodded. "Maybe it wasn’t Jake then. It could've been Maggie who sicced the cops on us."

  Zelda shrugged. "Or both of them."

  <<>>

  Later, a nurse appeared and told us they were keeping Joe for overnight observation. She gave us five minutes with him. Joe looked even paler against the stark white bed linens and his eyes were vacant of their usual sparkle.

  I smoothed back the hair from his forehead and held his hand. "How're fe
eling?"

  "Like twelve days of bad weather and getting worse." He tried to sit up. "When am I getting outta here?"

  Zelda pushed him down with one hand. "Not so fast Sparky. That whole in your head scored you an overnight stay."

  Joe put his hand to his head and winced. "I still got my brains back there?"

  I squinted at his head and grinned. "Most of them — the doctor said the part that you lost you didn't need." Joe tried a smile but yawned instead. I bent and kissed his forehead. "We're taking off but we'll be back in the morning."

  Zelda hovered. "One more thing Joe. What did you want to show us?" Joe sighed and murmured. "Joe?"

  "Yeah, right...file in my car. Get it."

  "What's in the file?" Zelda asked.

  "Keys are in my jacket," he mumbled.

  I found the keys and pocketed them. "Okay Joe, we'll find it." I pulled Zelda away from his bedside. "Let's go."

  As we walked out I heard him say, "Don't eat all my doughnuts."

  <<>>

  Our breath fogged and we shivered as we hurried down Fair Oaks. I jammed my hands in my pockets and scanned the street for the jeep. "Where did you park? Cincinnati?"

  Zelda pointed. "Up there, around the corner."

  We kept walking and my teeth chattered. "Where?"

  Zelda grinned at me. "So, Maggie called the Mayor? I told you it was a fake out. She doesn't think she's going to have to pay that reward. And my money says she'll do everything she can not to."

  I stopped and stared at her. "And you're happy about that because?"

  Zelda held out her arms like it was obvious. "Because the bitch thinks she's bullet proof and she's not."

  Ted said we could get hurt, and here we were walking away from the hospital where Joe was now a patient. Was it just dumb luck that we weren't in there with him? We turned right onto Allesandro Place and I spotted the jeep parked under the only working streetlamp. "Could this street be any darker?"

  Out of the shadows a guy in jeans and a hoodie rushed past us. I jumped back. "Good God!"

  Zelda put her hand on my shoulder. "Down girl."

  My heart thunked against my ribcage. "He scared the hell out of me."

  "You're jumpy tonight."

  "Can you blame me?"

  The chirp and whine of an engine stopped us mid-stride and we stared up the street. "Is that what I think it is?"

  Zelda grabbed me by the arm and rushed me toward the jeep. "What is it, VW night?"

  "Now, you're in a hurry?"

  "Keep moving." She dragged along so fast that I stumbled and almost landed on my ass. When we got to the jeep Zelda yelled, "Son of a bitch!" The smashed glass from the driver's side window sparkled on the pavement in the moonlight. She gaped at me. "What's this, another message?" She stared up the street. "Did you get a look at him?"

  I followed her gaze. "Jeans, hoodie, scraggly beard. He's long gone."

  Zelda stomped to the back of the jeep and pulled out the mini-vac. "I bet he's the same asshole that attacked Joe." While she vacuumed the driver's seat and foot well, I shook out the floor mats on the parkway. Then we got in the jeep and Zelda fired up the engine. "Please tell me this night is over."

  I turned on the heater full blast. "Once we're done at Joe's, we can go home."

  Zelda fisted her forehead. "Can't we do that tomorrow?"

  I rubbed my face with both hands. "Sure, the file will still be there tomorrow. Not like anybody's watching us or gives a damn what we're up to, so sure."

  Zelda put the jeep in gear and we were on the 210 in five minutes. Twelve minutes later we pulled up in front of Joe's place. From the safety of the jeep, everything looked normal. But beyond lay a wrecked office and possibly an assailant lying in wait. I craned my neck for any sign of a VW.

  Zelda threw open her door. "Screw this! These jerks aren't going to intimidate me."

  I got out of the car too but we were both twitching and looking over our shoulders. Close together and practically holding hands we went to Joe's car which stood in one of the front slots. We didn't even have to open the doors to see there were no files inside. Zelda tried the door and it opened. She frowned at me. "That ain't good." I took Joe's keys from my pocket and locked the doors. The we checked the trunk but it was as empty as the cab of the car. She slammed the trunk shut. "Damn it! What is going on here?"

  I sighed and said, "Obviously we're stepping on somebody's toes."

  Zelda dragged me up the walkway to Joe's place. "I wasn't really expecting an answer to that, genius."

  Quickly, we ducked into Joe's place and locked everything up tight. And all the way home we watched for a VW.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Leaning against the counter, Joe rolled his eyes and sighed loudly while the nurse explained his condition. She gave me information sheets that explained the possible complications of head injuries, the indicators to watch for, and what to do if any manifested.

  "Lawdy, woman — it was a little old bump on the head."

  The nurse drew a finger across her lips, indicating Joe should zip it, then continued her explanation. After she finished giving us the outpatient instructions, Joe signed several forms and was officially released.

  For all his carping about wanting to get a move on, Joe moved like a turtle with heat rash. He flat out refused the wheelchair — so together, we inched to the door. The gash in his head required eight stitches and a chunk of hair shaved off. I winced at the sight of it — must've hurt like a sumbitch.

  Zelda jumped out of the vehicle to help Joe into the backseat. "Damn Joe, you look like shit!"

  "Good morning to you too, Miss Zelda."

  He swatted at our helping hands. "All right, all right, I ain't a cripple. I can get into an automobile on my own steam, thank you very much."

  Zelda eyed Joe in the rear view mirror. "You okay back there, buddy?"

  Joe flapped a hand. "Just drive this jalopy and never you mind about me, Miss Zelda."

  Zelda put the jeep in gear and eased toward the exit. "Excuse me for caring Mr. Cranky pants."

  Joe grunted and changed the subject. "Did y'all get the file?"

  I turned in my seat to speak to him. "Wasn't there. Did you leave the car unlocked?"

  Joe's face went red. "Course I didn't leave the car unlocked. What in blazes? You look everywhere?"

  I shrugged. "Sorry, it wasn't there."

  Zelda pulled onto Fair Oaks and sped toward the freeway entrance. Joe grumped, "Close that dang window, we ain't storing meat back here.

  She looked at him in the rearview mirror. "Somebody busted it last night, so there's nothing to roll up. What was in the file?"

  Joe jammed his hands in his pockets. "Lab results for Lily. She's his."

  I turned to him. "That's normal then? Having paternity tests done?"

  Joe angled himself to avoid the cold air. "Depends on the circumstances."

  I grabbed a fleece throw out of the console and tossed it to Joe in the backseat. "How so?"

  He spread the throw over his lap and sighed. "If the story don't match up with the facts. George could've found her story questionable."

  I recalled our talk with Tina. "Or his wife or daughter did?"

  Joe nodded. "Sure. Man's gotta keep the peace in his family." He shrugged. "And old George had a lot to lose. Rich folks get bamboozled all the time. Could be his lawyer

  told George to have them done. If he was putting Miss Lily in his will he'd wanna be sure." Zelda hit a pothole and he winced. "Money makes people do a lot of things they wouldn't bother with otherwise."

  I felt sorry for Lily. Being an outsider sucked. But the tests being a dead-end didn't thrill me either. "So, not that unusual, huh?"

  "It depends on how Lily reacted to the request. That might've been the real test." He turned and squinted through the back windshield. "And y'all want to tell me, why we're being tailed?"

  Zelda muttered under her breath. "Is it the dynamic duo?"

  I peered through
the back windshield and shrugged. "Can't tell but it looks like their unmarked cop-mobile."

  Zelda looked at Joe in the rear view mirror. "Hungry, buddy?"

  "Now that you mention it, I'm feeling a might peckish."