First Kiss

by Tara Brown

And as he glances at me, I am getting a visual of them together and grimacing. He crosses the room in two steps, I swear. “Are you all right?”

  I frown at him, “I’m fine.”

  He starts to laugh, “Oh, good to see you’re back to being your usual self. I almost missed how cross you are at just breathing air most days.” He gives me a glance, “Your dress is perfect—you look stunning.” He looks at the lady who is clearly in love with him and nods, “I’ll take her from here.”

  The lady gives me a soft smile and leaves us. She seems humble around him, compared to how she was in the carriage. Perhaps attacking Bash was her way of getting back at me for the obvious attraction the king has for my mother/Baylor.

  “Where is your betrothed?”

  I sigh and look around, “I had hoped he was downstairs, but I guess not.”

  “Then I have the moment to tell you how much I enjoyed our evening the last time you visited.”

  I almost gag but he saves me. “You shoving me away and denying me has only increased my fervor. I know you wanted the kingdoms to align, but I want you more than anything else.”

  I give him a stern look, “Your land is falling apart. Brigands have taken control of the woods surrounding this once strong kingdom.”

  His bright-blue eyes burn beneath his black mask. “You think being bold with me will chase me off, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Us men in the North, we like our women strong.” His hand finds its way to my stomach, but low on my abdomen. “They have to be strong to birth our future men.”

  I almost laugh in his face, but the whole thing is actually sort of hot as well as a little pathetic. His wife has died and he is holed up in his castle drinking and seducing women out of grief. I almost feel a little sorry for him. He can’t be much older than I am, and he is a widower. “How old are you?” The words leave my mouth—stumble actually.

  He smiles again and I can see the devil in it. “Twenty-seven on my last birthday. And you are what—just turned nineteen?”

  I smile back, “Something like that.”

  His eyes twinkle and he doesn’t move back from the close encounter we are having, regardless of how inappropriate it is. My eyes leave his and I find myself looking for Bash.

  The masks on the faces and the people everywhere make it almost impossible for me to find him. But I do. He has a slight limp and is making his way toward us. I see him nod his head and duck into a room. I glance back up at the king, “Please excuse me for a moment.”

  He nods and kisses my gloved hand. I slide past him, almost the way Lune would and make my way to the room Bash ducked into. I feel like I am sneaking into the room, it is so dark. I almost don’t see him, except for the fact he is standing in the window under the moonlight. I rush to him, “Are you okay?”

  He nods, slipping his hand under my chin and pulling me to meet his lips in the dark. I close my eyes and savor the feeling of us there, together. I think I actually sigh into his mouth. I can feel him smile against my face as his scars heal. “Did you miss me, Lynnie?”

  I nod and lay my face against his chest. “The king has been trying to seduce my mother all this time so he thinks I’m her and playing hard to get with him.”

  He chuckles, “My cousin is aggressive in his pursuit of women.”

  I look up at him, “Your cousin?”

  He nods, “My father and his were brothers, also twins. They run in the family. So their father split the kingdom, making two lands for his boys to rule. It was a mistake. The two parts of the country relied on each other. Now we are forced to trade and what not. Hence the reason my brother and Baylor are supposed to come here tonight. There are talks of uniting the kingdom again, but I cannot imagine what my brother has that will make Erik agree.”

  “I can.”

  My statement makes his hands tighten around me, “Well, that’s not up for discussion unless we give him your mother.”

  “No. We have to strip her of her powers first.”

  Bash kisses the top of my head, leaning into me. “We have to find our siblings. They are coming here tonight. The mask was my cousin’s idea of a celebration that my brother wore my father down on giving him the title and announcing their wedding date.”

  “What do we do if they show up?”

  He pulls back and gives me a look, “I am to be the king of my land. I will tell Eric I came to visit and assumed he knew I was alive and well. I assumed father sent word yesterday when we arrived. “

  He grabs my hand and pulls me back to the party. “Don’t be Baylor here—be the girl who saved my life. Norland is massive and Erik has been in mourning for a while. He has no idea about what is going on around here, and Sam is a very common name here. Don’t volunteer the information but don’t pretend to be Baylor.”

  “Okay.”

  We enter the party again and instantly he pulls me to the king. Erik opens his arms, “Cousin, you are well, I presume?”

  Bash slaps him on the arm and does a half hug. “I am. This is quite the party.”

  “It’s all for you.”

  Bash doesn’t have a chance to say anything. Erik turns to me, “May I have a dance with your betrothed?”

  Bash shakes his head, “I would give you anything I have, the shirt off my back if you wished it. But this,” he nods at me, “I will not give this—ever.” He gives a smile that matches Erik’s and leads me to the dance floor as Erik blasts a laugh.

  When we are standing on the dance floor, waiting for the song to start, he gives me a look. “You even give him one sideways glance, and I will lose it. I’ll end up eating everyone in here.”

  A scowl crosses my face, “Don’t threaten me, Bash. I didn’t do anything.”

  “You found him attractive, I saw it. You were staring at him like you do Sam.”

  I scoff, “The furnishings in the place find him attractive. You probably find him attractive. He is like a movie star, on the box with the stories.”

  His face is stoic. “Are you mocking me? Imagine going to a place where nothing makes sense and everything is a wonder.”

  I shake my head, “I went too, remember?”

  He rolls his gray eyes and pulls me into him as the dance starts. I don’t recall the steps perfectly, but I have to admire his ability to dance. It’s remarkable. “You remember it so well?”

  He laughs, “Our mother made us learn them again and again. She told us one day we would be face to face with the woman we would marry, and it would be unlikely we would be in love and that dancing might be able to help.”

  “She is a smart lady, the queen.”

  He spins me and slips me back into his arms, “She was married to a man who she didn’t know.”

  I can’t help but grin at him, “That could have been your fate.”

  “Could have been, but fortunately I am marrying the person I love the most in the world.”

  My heart soars, and in that moment, I could almost forget it all, minus of course the fact I am only twenty and marrying someone sounds insane. But in this world I am almost an old maid. “The most in the whole world?”

  He nods and dances me around. Seeing him behind a mask is intriguing. A mask that is different than his scars. We finish the dance and he leads me back to his cousin. I don’t see a resemblance between them.

  Erik is charming a woman and drinking from a cup that seems to never end. He and Bash laugh and joke. I watch as Bash drinks as heavily but doesn’t seem to get drunk. He must be like me. A glass of mulled wine is passed to me from a tray. When I put it to my lips, I smile. It tastes like Heidi’s, and I can’t help but wonder how she is. The past days have been strange for me.

  I watch as Erik gets louder and sloppier. He’s like the teenagers I drank with. The black blood must be what makes us impervious to alcohol. It must come from his mother’s side of the family.

  I finish my glass of wine and try to stifle a yawn but am unsuccessful. I haven’t slept much. My eyes are heavy and I have that twitchy feeling I get when I�
�m over tired. I make my way to the room he had hidden in with his scars beneath his mask, and curl up in a chair. I give up the fight to keep my eyes open as my mind wanders. His blood matched mine. He drank loads of wine, and yet, acted no different. He is like me. Could we be related? The thought is the last thing on my mind as I fall asleep.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I wake to something like the blankets covering my face. My hands seek them out but find a large, muscled arm. I push at the person next to me. The room is black, adding to the feeling of claustrophobia and making me panic until I feel him stir and I know it’s Bash. “Where are we?”

  He moans and moves a little, “In bed. You’re okay. You’re safe. You were so tired you fell asleep and I carried you here.”

  “Is this your room or mine?”

  He sighs and pulls me back down to him, “Mine. Does it matter?”

  I nod against his chest, “Yes. We aren’t married, this is not how things are done here. You know that. This will ruin me.”

  He laughs into my hair, “You’ve already ruined me, Lynnie. I should be focused on what secrets my brother has going on and executing your mother. Instead, I have tracked you to here and worried incessantly about my cousin’s affections towards you. I shouldn’t have come here. I haven’t finished speaking with my father about your mother. All I could think about was you.”

  I can’t fight the smile on my face. “I didn’t mean to make you suffer.”

  “I know, but you have yet to tell me you love me—me in this form and who I am.”

  “I did.” I grab his shoulders and pull myself up his body, sliding against him. “I told you I loved you when you rode away and left me in the dirt.”

  He cups my chin and lowers his face so that when he speaks his words brush against my lips. “But I left you in the dirt like a fool. Tell me you love me again, even if I am stuck this way forever.”

  I nod, “I love you. I have always loved you, I think the same way you have loved me. You were my first kiss and I want you to be my last. I don’t care if you are the scarred man or this one—I see only you.”

  His lips move the last inch and press against mine. Sealing our words with a kiss. His hands try to roam my back but I push against him, “Not until we are married. I should make you take me back to my room.”

  Bash smiles and kisses my cheek. “No. I want you close.”

  I push away the feelings rushing my body, and instead of tearing both our clothes off, close my eyes and snuggle into him, sleeping instantly.

  I wake in the morning, but I am alone when I do. The maid has drawn the curtains and the sun is shining in. I can smell him on the bed and I think even in my hair. I stretch and climb from the bed, noticing my gown has been removed and I am in my underwear and a nightgown.

  The door opens and he saunters in, eyeing up my nightgown. “Are you ready to go? We have to go home today. There is a ball at home.”

  I shake my head, “I need to see the ancients. The old witches, one must be good. They can’t all be bad. One will help me learn the magic and get rid of my aunt and my mother.”

  He shakes his head, “No. We will strategize from the castle. I don’t want to worry about you.” The way he says it makes me see that there is no way to argue the matter. He is firm on his decision and he has a king’s way of being stubborn.

  But laying there in the bed, I feel something I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before. I smile at him, “Let me get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  He nods and leaves the room, “I shall wait for you at the door.”

  I look down at the nightgown and wince, but I don’t have anything else in the room. I rush to the wardrobe in the corner. It’s filled with extra linens and not clothes.

  “Shit.” I drum my fingers against my lips, deciding to just go in the clothes I have on. The door opens again, but it is a maid with a bundle of clothes, “His highness hopes something in the pile fits you. Shall I stay and help you dress?”

  I shake my head, “No, thank you. I can manage.” She places them on the bed and leaves the room. I rush to the pile and pull on the plainest of the dresses in the stack. It is a brown riding dress and perfect for what I’m about to do, although I would almost kill someone for a pair of stretchy pants and a hoodie. I stand in front of the mirror on the dresser and clear my mind. I place both hands on the mirror and take a deep breath. I don’t know what my mother and sister and aunt were chanting when they made the portal or the spell on the house, but I decide to say the first thing that comes to mind.

  “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Listen to my voice, hear my call. I desire a portal to the old witches. Please don’t make me ride all the way there, I have no britches.” A smile creeps along my lips. I am an idiot. I reach forward, feeling the cold glass and sigh. “Please make a portal to the ancients for me. I desire it more than anything.” The glass doesn’t change. I sigh, “Please make a portal.” The glass doesn’t change.

  I give up and turn for the window. I open it, feeling the cold breeze shooting in at me. I close my eyes into the wind, “Baylor, if you can help me, please do.”

  I look down, and there in the field, behind the castle, sits a horse. Not just any horse—my horse. I wave at him, like he’s a long lost friend, before I realize he has hooves and won’t wave back. Of course I look around to make sure no one saw me waving at my horse.

  I am never going to properly fit in here.

  I climb out onto the ledge, gripping to the brick and mortar. At least it has an amazingly-huge ledge. My bare feet scrape against the cold brick when I jump to the balcony off to the side. I land and stumble onto the huge deck. I swing a leg across the railing and grab the huge pillar and let my feet swing from the edge. I am hanging about a full story from the balcony, scared to let go. My fingers grip to the freezing stone. The morning sun isn’t warm enough to heat it. I look down and see my horse. Oh God, he wants me to jump on him. I close my eyes and drop into the saddle. He’s off the moment I make contact with him, not caring about the fact I’ve crotched myself on the saddle and am bent forward into his mane, trying not to cry. How do they do that in movies? How do guys do it?

  I look back as Bash glares down on me from the window. I know he will go back to the castle—he has to.

  I whisper to the horse, “Take me to the elders. I need to see if there is one of them who will help me.”

  He rides hard until the sun is high in the sky. We passed through the boundaries of Norland some time ago. My horse hasn’t slowed even a little. My butt is killing me and I am dying of thirst and hunger.

  When we reach a field, he runs even faster. I look behind us as a dark dust rushes towards us. I grip to him, screaming for him to run faster. He leaps into the woods, the dark, scary woods. Of course, why wouldn’t they be the creepiest woods ever? Even the dark dust doesn’t try to come in with us. We lose the afternoon sun almost immediately. I grip to the horse for dear life but after several steps, he stops.

  I can see he will go no farther. He’s scared. If he’s scared, I am screwed. I jump down, falling into the dead grass, leaves, and branches. They scratch my bare feet and legs as I walk. I look back at the huge horse, “Wait here, ok?”

  He nods his head, making me shake mine. I love that horse. I turn and tiptoe over the crackling ground, deeper into the forest. I hear a sound, a branch breaking behind me. I open my mouth to scream until I see the gray eyes of the creature before me. My trembling lips close but my heart doesn’t stop pounding. I sigh, “You should have gone to the castle. You shouldn’t be here.” He growls at me, making me a little uneasy. But the huge wolf walks closer, rubbing his huge body against mine. I dig my fingers into the dense fur, rubbing him. He growls and lowers his body, leading me into the forest.

  I drop to my knees when we reach a village deep in the woods. I can just make out the houses. Bash turns and looks at me. I shake my head, “You can’t come with me.”

  He lowers his face, letting me scratch his nose and e
ars. He is an adorable wolf; dark and frightening when he comes upon you in the woods, but friendly and sweet if he knows you.

  He paws me, rubbing himself against my arms. I wrap my arms around him, “I don’t know how to keep you safe. Can you just stay behind until I need you?”

  He whines again. I sigh and lift his muzzle up to look him in the eyes. “I do love you. I ran because I want to keep you safe. I’m scared of them. If they’re like my mother and my aunt, they’ll kill us both in a heartbeat.”

  I get up off of the forest floor and walk past him. I am no longer the girl who was locked in the closet. I am no longer the girl who was beaten into submission, believing she let her small sister die. I am new—I can feel it writhing around inside of me. I walk directly to the cluster of houses, small cottages actually. They have chimneys going and a large well in the middle of them all. A child sees me. She opens her mouth to scream perhaps but stops. She smiles, “You are one of us.”

  I nod.

  She runs at me. I brace myself but she leaps at me, wrapping herself around me. She hugs me, “I welcome you, sister.”

  I have no idea what’s happening. She grabs my hand and drags me toward the houses. “My name is Elsie Lomond.”

  I smile uneasily, “I’m Erralynn Devereaux.”

  She gasps, “Truly?”

  I nod. She drops my hand and backs away from me, “You are one of the black blood?”

  And the situation changes, I can see it in her eyes. She no longer welcomes me. A woman comes around the corner to where the girl and I are. “Who is your friend?”

  I look at the woman, “I am Erralynn Devereaux.”

  Her right eye twitches but a smile crosses her lips, “You never went to the dark ones? You came to us?”

  I look back at the dark wolf lingering behind me. He’s not going to be any help, so I turn and give her a head shake, “I have been banished from this land for a long time. Only a year has passed here, but where I was, I aged ten years. I suspect my mother and my aunt killed my older sister and want to kill me. I don’t know who you are or who the dark ones are.”