Fashionably Fanged

by Robyn Peterman

  “Got it.” Claudia turned away and had a coughing fit to hide her laughter.

  Hell, even I was laughing. And again, I was mystified how Martha and Jane were still alive. Maybe they grew on everyone like a fungus.

  “Are we ready?” Gareth asked, entering the suite sporting an Armani suit minus the tie with his shirt open at the neck.

  It took everything I had not to fly across the room and tackle his sexy ass to the floor. All my girlie parts tingled and my stomach flip-flopped. His expression when he took in my outfit, my shoes, my hair, and finally my obscene amount of cleavage made the tingling ramp up. Holy Hell we really were going to need to find a closet or something. Our sexual tension was so intense I was certain everyone could feel it.

  “You guys wanna screw real quick?” Jane asked as she picked up a satchel full of God only knew what.

  “No,” I said at the same time Gareth shouted, “Yes!”

  Letting my chin drop to my chest to mask my ridiculous delight, I groaned. “We can’t be late. I don’t want any excess attention called to us.”

  “Venus is correct, sadly,” Gareth said, turning his back to all to covertly rearrange his massive erection. “I’ll be with you in a moment. My… um, zipper is stuck.”

  “That’s a good one, Prince Dickie,” Martha cackled and immediately zipped it when Gareth gave her a withering look.

  “I thought…” Claudia started and then paused.

  “You thought what?” I asked tucking a dagger into the elastic of my garter. I wanted my sword, but it might look a little conspicuous.

  “I thought he might be a royal. I recognized the name Gareth.”

  “You thought right,” I told her. “But please don’t treat him as such. It will blow our cover.”

  “I’m just Dickie the blond haired, brown eyed, blue balled Vamp this week,” he said in a pained voice as he turned back around.

  He hadn’t solved his problem at all, but everyone—even Martha and Jane—were polite or smart enough not to comment on his tented pants.

  “All right, let’s get the shitshow on the road,” I said, slipping a few throwing stars into my smart little purse.

  “We got some bad guys to kill,” Jane crowed, doing a little jig that looked more like a seizure than a dance.

  “Trap, not kill,” Gareth reminded her. “And you will not be involved in that part. Clear?”

  “As mud,” Martha bitched. “We never get to do the fun shit.”

  “I wouldn’t call dealing with a deranged, psychotic monster fun,” Claudia said, checking her bag for her weapons. “Oh, and I don’t want Tiara involved in this. This is not her fight.”

  “Got it,” I said as Gareth gave me a curious glance. “She won’t know a thing.”

  “She means too much to me,” Claudia added quietly as she made her way to the door.

  Her plea made perfect sense to me. If I could leave Gareth out of this, I would— in a heartbeat, and I was certain from the way he was staring at me, he felt the same.

  Too bad, so sad. If we wanted a future together we were going to have to fight for it together.

  And we would.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Armed with a fairly decent attitude, two debatably heterosexual and certifiably insane old ladies, the woman I’d wanted to kill less than eight hours ago, and the newly realized love of my undead life was nothing I could have dreamed up. But it was real—very real. We were here and we were going to do this. Of course I had no clue what this was going to entail, but that had never stopped me before.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumbled as we made our way into the auditorium and looked for seats to listen to the pageant director go over the itinerary.

  The enormous room was filled with female Vamps in more sequins than I’d ever seen in my life. I was woefully underdressed even in my sexy little Alice and Olivia number with my killer stilettos. I suppose I’d missed the must have eye bleeding amounts of sparkle memo.

  Even the handlers looked like contestants.

  “Do you have handlers?” I asked Claudia.

  “No, I can’t afford them. Tiara’s people help me out.”

  Claudia’s money issues were a mystery that I was going to get to the bottom of very soon. I had more money than I knew what to do with in many lifetimes. I’d gotten bored over the years and had gone to college, earning both my Master’s and Doctorate in business and finance. I’d invested brilliantly through my centuries and taught many of the Vamps in the Cressida House to do the same. If Claudia needed money, I could… Whatever. I’d deal with that later.

  The sheer irony of having gone from wanting to kill Claudia to needing to make sure she was financially secure was mind-boggling. Analyzing my change of heart was useless. It was what it was and I felt peaceful with it. The Kev was far wiser than me, so I planned to take his damned advice and trust my instincts no matter how unbelievable my inclinations were.

  On the stage, a severe looking but attractive woman in head to toe Gucci stood at a podium and adjusted her jeweled spectacles. It had to be the notoriously money hungry Sunny. I laughed. Vampyres had perfect vision. The glasses were a fashion statement. I wondered how much posturing there would be. If Sunny was any indication to go by, there would be plenty.

  “Holy Hell on a piece of toast, I’m in Heaven,” Martha said, eyeing all the sparkling gowns with delight.

  “You just contradicted yourself,” I muttered, giving the evil eye to a group of busty gals eyeing Gareth hungrily. He stood quietly at my side and ignored the flirtatious glances.

  “What do you mean?” Martha asked, casing the competition and jotting down notes on a pad of paper.

  “Nothing.” I took a seat in the back of the auditorium. “Sit.”

  Gareth sat beside me and leaned in close to my ear. If I turned my head our lips would meet. I was so tempted. It would let the other Vamps in the room know he was taken—I mean technically he wasn’t… yet. However dealing with advances from horny undead sequined hookers would hinder the mission—and piss me off royally.

  “Exits are on the far left and right of the stage, and of course the doors we entered through. No exit from the backstage area, but there’s a window with a fire escape. Dressing rooms off stage right and a few technical rooms and an office stage left.”

  “Got it,” I said and looked to Martha, Jane and Claudia to make sure they’d heard.

  Turning to Gareth while the pageant director droned on about good sportsmanship and no bloodshed, I leaned in and gave him a nice view of my girls.

  “Are there any closets that lock in the backstage area?” I asked innocently.

  With great difficulty he raised his gaze from my cleavage to my eyes before his face split into a panty-melting grin. It was all I could do not to throw myself at him.

  “I should be pissed at you that my dick is as hard as a rock again.”

  “Sorry,” I whispered, trying not to giggle. Glancing down, I was able to confirm that he was telling the very hard truth.

  “Are you sorry?” he inquired with a lopsided grin that made my panties damp.

  “Nope.”

  Trying to adjust himself covertly, he let his head fall back on the seat and muttered a few curses. “You do realize you’ll have to pay, my beautiful girl.”

  “I certainly hope so.”

  “I see Tiara,” Jane whispered and pointed to a woman sitting a few rows ahead of us.

  Sure enough it was Tiara. She had a gaggle of very butch looking Vamps around her casing the competition and taking notes like Martha. Tiara spoke quietly to the gal on her left and patted her arm with praise. The woman preened and bowed her head to Tiara. All the other women quickly followed suit with the respectful gesture.

  Interesting.

  “We’ll meet up with her after the announcements.” Claudia fluffed her perfect blonde hair and straightened her sheath nervously.

  Hmmm, she had it bad for the loud-mouthed Tiara—I should know. I had it eq
ually as bad for the beautiful Vamp seated next to me.

  “There will be a half hour break then all the contestants must come back stage. Only women handlers will be permitted in the back stage and dressing room areas. All men will sit in the house,” Sunny announced in a clipped tone with a practiced and cold smile on her face.

  “Unacceptable,” Gareth growled. “I’ll be with you the entire time.”

  Claudia wrung her hands and then placed one hesitantly on Gareth’s arm. “She’ll go nuts on you if you go back there. I’ve seen her in action. It’s not pretty.”

  “No worries,” Gareth assured her, attempting to put Claudia at ease. “I’ll kill her.”

  “Um… not the best plan, dude.” I gave him a large and obnoxious eye roll. “We don’t need any unnecessary casualties.”

  “You’re not going anywhere without me.” Gareth’s eyes glowed green and his fangs peeked out from his lips.

  “Your alpha-hole is showing,” I hissed. “I’ve been defending myself for two hundred years. I’m pretty damned good at it. And if you’re gonna be a dick, we’re gonna have issues.”

  “Venus, issues mean fights. Fights mean make up sex. Make up sex is outstanding,” he informed me in a tone that made me want to head butt him. “You and I will never stop clashing. It’s the way we are and I find it painfully arousing,” he said, referring his very noticeable problem. “If you don’t believe me, you can check out my crotch—you will find rock hard proof. So that being said, you will go nowhere without me.”

  Jane raised her hand. When no one called on her she went ahead and added her own two cents. “What about the bathroom?”

  “For the love of God,” Gareth snapped. “We’re Vampyres. We don’t go to the bathroom.”

  “I always forget that,” Jane said, smacking her forehead. “My bad.”

  Martha patted her cohort on the back. “Right there with ya. Every morning I sit on the crapper for at least twenty minutes before I remember my plumbing doesn’t work anymore.”

  Ignoring the disturbing revelation, I considered fighting Gareth on his macho Vampyre bullshit. However, I realized my own protective tendencies were in overdrive concerning him. I didn’t want him out of my sight either.

  “There is a way for you to make this work,” I said slowly. “But I think it would drain too much power.”

  Gareth knew exactly what I was speaking of—so did Martha and Jane. The only one out of the loop was Claudia and she looked confused.

  “You’re going to dress him up as a woman?” she asked. “Don’t think you can get that past Sunny. Dickie’s scent is very… um, male.”

  “Not exactly,” I hedged, waiting to see if Gareth was in. I wasn’t going to reveal his secret, but I couldn’t think of another way he could stay with us and not cause a smack down with Sunny.

  “You truly trust this woman?” Gareth asked, referring to Claudia.

  “I do. You can take my blood, it will help like it did with the Angels.”

  Running his hands through his hair and mulling my offer over, he shook his head no. “Your blood did help, but you need it right now. I’ll take my chances. I feel almost back to my old self—think it will be fine.”

  “I don’t want to pry, but clearly I’m going to,” Claudia said with a small chuckle. “Not sure what you’re talking about and I don’t want to be privy to anything I shouldn’t, but Tiara’s blood is rare and extremely powerful. I know she would let you drink if I asked her.”

  “If we do that, she’s involved,” I told her.

  There was something odd going on with Tiara. She was deferred to like royalty by her handlers. And if she was truthful in her story about tearing the head off a Fairy, she was a mighty force of nature. Albeit one with a grating voice, but a badass nonetheless.

  Claudia’s focus strayed and landed on the back of Tiara’s head. I watched the wheels turn in her head as she came to her decision.

  “I don’t want her in the battle, but she’ll never forgive me if she could have helped, and I denied her—again. Follow me to the dressing rooms. We’ll have privacy there for whatever you need to do. We’ll grab Tiara and go.”

  The meeting was adjourned and people began to mill around. It was now or never if we were going to do this.

  “You good with this plan?” I asked Gareth as I stood.

  He shrugged. “If it gets me backstage without having to kill anyone, I’m in. You mean more to me than any secret I’ve ever kept. And since you’ve nixed any extraneous killing, I suppose I have to be happy with plan B. Just so you know, I don’t usually follow orders this nicely, but you do have tremendous tits.”

  His grin made me want to laugh and his comment made me want to throat punch him.

  If we made it out of here alive, we had many years of make up sex ahead of us.

  “So let me get this straight,” Tiara said while rolling up her sleeve in preparation to feed Gareth. “This is gonna give Dickie an extra boost to turn him into a woman? Why does he need to be a woman? And how in the Hell does a hot dude morph into a female?”

  “This is so he doesn’t have to kill Sunny,” Jane said. “And he’s got weird Vamp gifts.”

  Tiara took that in and then clapped her hands together with glee.

  “But ripping Sunny’s head off is a great idea,” Tiara countered with enthusiasm. “Don’t know why I never thought of that. Bitch deserves it.”

  Tiara had agreed to give Gareth blood even before she knew why we needed it. Her entire demeanor was sweeter and even her voice wasn’t as heinous around Claudia. When Claudia wasn’t looking Tiara stared at her with longing that was both sweet and sad.

  What had happened here? Again, like Claudia’s money woes, it wasn’t my problem. But it clawed at me. Maybe because my own happiness was in reach so I wanted others to have it too.

  “This shit is gonna give you a rush, Dickie,” Tiara informed him cockily. “Might knock you on your ass for a while if you’re not man enough.”

  She cackled at her own joke and I casually ran my hands through my hair so I could cover my ears. I was surprised the glass on the mirrors didn’t shatter from the octave she laughed in. Jane and Martha had no qualms about being rude. They dug through the satchel they had brought and slapped ear plugs in their ears.

  “He’s powerful. He won’t have a problem with your blood because…” Claudia said and then froze. She glanced with worry toward Gareth and me.

  Gareth shrugged. “I’m assuming you can be trusted,” he said to Tiara in a tone that confirmed his alpha hole, badass status.

  She paused her preparation and stared at him with curiosity and a little fear. “What are you, Dickie? You a full Vamp?”

  Odd question.

  “First off, my name’s not Dickie,” he said, looking at her strangely.

  He obviously though her question was unusual too.

  “Well, thank God for that,” Tiara laughed. “You don’t really look like a Dickie. I mean you look like you could be a dick, but…”

  “Um… Tiara, you might want to tamp that back,” Claudia said, trying to stop her from inadvertently smack talking a Master Vampyre slash royal Prince slash someone no one would want to get on the bad side of.

  “Why? Is he a bigwig Vamp or some bullshit like that?” she asked with an amused shake of her blonde curls.

  “Actually, yes,” Gareth said dryly.

  “How big?” Tiara asked warily.

  “Fucking huge,” Martha piped in.

  Tiara eyed Gareth suspiciously and then laughed. “Alrighty then, I’ll make you a deal.”

  “State your terms,” Gareth replied.

  “Simple. I won’t bust on you if you won’t bust on me.”

  “For?” Gareth asked, intrigued.

  “My lineage.”

  “Tiara,” Claudia whispered, worried and unsure.

  “It’s okay, baby,” Tiara promised her in a surprisingly soft tone. “Too many bastards are onto me and I need help from a bigwig. Of course
it would be better if Dickie was a Prince or connected to The Chosen One.”

  “Why?” I asked, now more intrigued than Gareth and uncomfortably wary. “What does Astrid have to do with this?”

  “That would be between me and her,” Tiara replied.

  “You carry a grudge?” Gareth inquired coldly.

  Tiara laughed and rolled her eyes. “Um… no. I’d kiss that woman’s ass if I ever got to be in her presence. You could say I have some family information she might be interested in.”

  “You know Juliette?” I asked.

  “Who in the Hell is Juliette?” Tiara asked. “Can’t say I know a Juliette.”

  The situation was getting stranger by the second. However, if she had something on Astrid we needed to know. Martha and Jane grew eerily silent and their eyes went green with aggression. It was going to be their final moments on Earth if they attacked Tiara, but their loyalty to Astrid was unbreakable. I actually kind of liked Tiara, but she was expendable if she posed any kind of threat.

  Claudia could see the direction the situation was going and became frantic.

  “Tell them now,” she insisted to Tiara. “They can be trusted and I believe they can help.”

  Tiara sensed the change in the room as well. She backed herself up to the wall and pulled Claudia with her.

  “If you take offense to what I have to say, you will not touch Claudia. Ever. She will be permitted to leave and I will take all of you on.”

  “I don’t believe you’re making the rules here,” Gareth said so casually it made the hair on my arms stand up. His eyes glowed green and his fangs extended. “I’d suggest you speak truthfully and quickly—if not, it will be a very bad ending for you.”

  Tiara clearly didn’t like his tone or his threat. She took a defensive stance. Her fangs dropped, but her eyes didn’t turn green. Nope, one went red and one went silver.

  What in the ever-loving Hell was she?

  “Astrid is her sister,” Claudia blurted out before the all the inhabitants of the room attacked. “They share the same father. She wants to thank Astrid for killing him. He made Tiara’s life a living Hell. Please don’t hurt her.”