The Ramseys Boxed Set

by Altonya Washington

  Sighing heavily, Contessa rolled her eyes and clicked off the TV. “Thanks honey.” Her voice was phony sweetness as she tossed the remote to the plaid armchair beside the sofa.

  “Anytime,” Fernando grinned and tugged up the sleeves of his Bears’ sweatshirt. “So are you gonna tell me what’sup?”

  “I just did.”

  “Count-”

  “I can’t talk to my father.” Abruptly, she folded her arms across her chest. “I haven’t talked to him in almost twenty years.”

  Fernando nodded, massaging his hands in an effort to resist pulling her close. “Mick said your folks split up when you were a kid. Was it ugly between them?”

  County’s laughter was long yet clearly forced. “That’s a loaded question.” She noted the confusion on his face and smiled. “It was ugly. It was very ugly.”

  “Will you tell me about it?”

  “Baby I don’t even like to think about it,” she snapped back a curse and shook her head. “Talkin’ about it ain’t gonna happen.”

  “You might feel better.” He tried but she’d moved over to straddle his lap then and words failed him.

  “Since you’ve ruined the movie for me, you’re gonna have to find some other way to entertain me.” Leaning closer, she suckled his earlobe while grinding the soft bulge beneath his black sweats. “Lock the door,” she murmured when the bulge gained definition.

  Fernando cursed and pushed her away. Flopping back on the sofa, County pouted until she realized he’d gone to do as she asked.

  ***

  “It’s time to get past all that, Bunny.”

  County gripped the wood grain phone receiver and closed her eyes in agitation. County wasn’t sure whether she was agitated by her mother’s use of the childhood nickname or by the fact that the woman was so willing to forgive humiliation.

  “Honey you know I’m right,” Neena Warren’s soft voice was even more soothing as she tried to calm her strong-willed daughter. “As for myself, I’m a few years shy of knocking on sixty’s door and I’ve got no wishes to shadow the rest of my life with that petty crap.”

  “Mama how can you call it petty?”

  “The point is that I can and if I can, can’t you? He was my husband, Bunny. If I can let it go…”

  Frustration warred with the need to do as her mother suggested. Viciously, she re-crossed her legs on the bedroom’s window seat. “I don’t think he ever knew how much he hurt us.”

  “Oh Bunny,” Neena’s laugh was more somber than amused, “trust me ‘Hon, when you changed your last name to my maiden name, he knew.”

  County chewed her thumbnail for a second or three. “And what about the rest of his triflin’ family?” She blurted as though their memory had almost escaped her.

  “Dammit Contessa,” Neena quietly murmured something about her only child driving her to drink and then asked the Lord to give her strength before she continued. “Listen to me everything’s set for them to be there so just accept it. Forget about that past drama and focus on that sexy fiancé, soon-to-be husband of yours. I love you and I’ll see you Friday.” Neena hung up before her daughter could say another word.

  ***

  The house grew livelier as the day progressed. The rest of the couples began to arrive in rapid succession. First in; around midday, were Quay and Ty. Quay’s bad mood was apparent the instant he walked through the front door. At fault was his wife- at least that’s the way Quaysar saw it. Tykira was wrapped up in a project she wanted to finish before the wedding. She scarcely said two words to anyone and headed right up to the room reserved for her and her husband.

  Following a cursing tirade by Quay; once his wife had vanished, Michaela found a quiet corner. There, she prayed for a peaceful week amongst the eight hot-blooded couples soon to occupy the same roof.

  ~~~

  The afternoon saw the arrival of everyone else including newlyweds Carlos and Dena McPhereson and Kraven and Darby DeBurgh. The house filled with calm beneath the business of unpacking and getting settled. By 5pm however, lunch and snacks had been thoroughly digested and the group collected in the kitchen to discuss dinner plans.

  Johari and Nile were first to shoot down the idea of going out. Fernando and Quay suggested them cooking and were practically laughed out of the kitchen since everyone knew neither of them had intentions of lending their assistance in the area. Yohan suggested they draw names for kitchen duty. Of course, Melina celebrated her husband’s brilliance until she discovered he had no intention of putting his name in for the drawing.

  “It was my idea,” was his excuse.

  Once the names were drawn, Mel was again dismayed. Her name was selected along with Nile, Kraven and Moses.

  Silence settled in the kitchen while the group mulled over the results. Because everyone else was thinking it, Nile slammed her hands to her sides and said, “This is going to be interesting.”

  ~~~

  “A Scotsman, a French damsel and two Americans…”

  “Indeed,” Kraven agreed with Moses’ summation once the foursome stood alone in the kitchen having been charged with preparing a meal for sixteen adults.

  “Anybody got any favorites?” Kraven inquired of his partners.

  “Lots,” Moses said enthusiastically before his dark gaze grew weary. “No idea how to make ‘em, though.”

  Laughter rose slow but steady and shed a fair bit of the agitation.

  Kraven rubbed his hands together and leaned next to Moses against the counter. “We need an entrée- a main dish.”

  “Right!” Mel snapped her fingers toward Kraven. “Have at it.”

  More laughter rumbled then, but Kraven graciously accepted the duty.

  “Anyone have an idea to go with a dish for Salmon with Whiskey Sauce?” Kraven asked.

  “Mmm…” Nile’s lashes fluttered and she rubbed her hands across the Caribbean blue knit top she wore. “Mon Dieu, can’t we just have that?”

  Kraven slanted her a wink. “Nice try.”

  “Oh well, I call dessert.” Nile went to check the fridge. “I make a pretty good Crepe Suzette.”

  “Go’on girl!” Melina and Moses cheered before joining Kraven and Nile in more laughter.

  “Alright, alright,” Mel began to wave her hands. “In that case, I can add a dish from half of my ethnic group and make Crab Rangoon for an appetizer.”

  “Impressive!” Kraven commended while checking the well-stocked cabinets. “We still need a side for my Salmon though.”

  Everyone looked to Moses who was already searching the pantry. They heard his cheer float from the area seconds before he emerged with a few cans in hand.

  “I’ve got a recipe for baked potatoes and sauce.” He checked the potato cupboard near the pantry and nodded. “Rub the sauce on the skin and it seeps through to flavor the meat of the potatoes.” He said while checking the potato count.

  Melina clapped. “I’d say the Scotsman, the French damsel and the two Americans have found their menu.” She held out her hand for a group shake and waited for her partners to oblige before they all went to work.

  ~~~

  “Hot damn! We’re gonna be drunk just from dinner alone!” Carlos teased and smacked hands with Taurus while everyone else laughed and appreciatively eyed the spread.

  Quest reached over to tug one of Mick’s curls. “Watch it,” he warned, ducking when she tossed her napkin at his face.

  As Nile’s Crepe Suzette contained a fair amount of Grand Marnier liquor and the Whiskey Sauce in Kraven’s salmon contained its fair share of Scotch, the spirits ran high throughout the diverse menu.

  “Alright y’all, dig in!” Moses announced when he arrived to set another bowl of sour cream to the table.

  From then on, the dining room was silent but for murmurs to pass this or that and the clink of silverware to dinnerware.

  ~~~

  During the meal, Quest noticed Ty had barely touched her food but she’d touched her sketch pad a plenty. He told her she coul
d have her pick from a ton of rooms to work in.

  “This place has more rooms that some castles I’ve seen.” Quest told his sister-in- law.

  Darby overheard. “I second that,” she spoke around a mouth full of potatoes.

  “Hey!” A wounded Kraven called down the table to his wife.

  “Mick what the hell possessed you to buy such a big ass house?” Fernando questioned.

  Mick shrugged, helping herself to more Salmon. “Never really thought about it. I’m such a pack rat.” She handed the big fork to Dena who wanted another helping. “Anyway, all the rooms got used but never for what bedrooms are supposed to be used for.” A devilish smile curved her mouth then. “I’m guessing that won’t be the case this week.”

  “Damn right,” Yohan agreed.

  The room roared with laughter.

  ~~~

  When dinner was done and the kitchen set to rights, everyone ventured off to various parts of the house to enjoy the remainder of the evening.

  Michaela caught up to County who was heading upstairs.

  “Hey?” Mick tugged her friend’s sleeve before she’d gotten too far ahead. “I’m very sorry for not clearing the family issue with you first.”

  County smiled but said nothing as she reclined against the banister.

  “It’s just um…with all my issues with family, I just figured it important that they be here.” Easing both hands into the back pockets of her Capri jeans, Mick shrugged. “Knowing them, keeping some communication open, it’s important, you know?”

  “It’s fine,” County leaned over to pull her into a hug.

  “You’re sure?” Mick snuggled into the embrace.

  County had to laugh when she nodded. “I just can’t believe how cool Mama’s being about it all- after the way he left.”

  Mick pulled back from the hug. “Maybe she’s trying to focus on the future- stomp out the crap in her past and all that progressive stuff?”

  “I guess.” County nodded.

  Mick lifted a shoulder. “Maybe you could try some of that progressive stuff too, hmm?”

  County managed a half smile and tugged Mick into another hug.

  ~THREE~

  Tuesday…

  The morning held a special glee that went without saying. Quest and Mick would celebrate three years of marriage that day. With all that had occurred between the couple just months earlier, the celebration held an even more special meaning.

  Breakfast duties went to Quest, Yohan, Taurus and Johari. By the time the group had assembled, the cooks had prepared a feast of grits with steak strips and gravy, mounds of scrambled eggs, cinnamon toast, fruit and cheese.

  Mick was last down the stairs; and the only one to hear the doorbell over all the conversation and laughter filtering throughout the kitchen. When she opened the front door, her mouth fell open and could have easily reached the checkered floor of the foyer. She just managed to pat the backs of the two women who pulled her into a double hug.

  “Hey girl, it’s us,” one of the women said when she pulled back from the hug and mistook Mick’s surprise for confusion.

  “Monique and Trenique Samuels- Conty’s cousins,” The other woman supplied.

  “Of course, of course,” Mick began to nod.

  “We just had to come by and see where Conty was getting married.” Trenique said, already peeking beyond Michaela’s shoulder with unmasked interest.

  “And since we live so close and all…” Monique absently toyed with the heavy gold chain around her neck while observing the lofty ceiling. “It’s a shame we all lived in Chi-town once and hardly saw each other.” She went on while her sister headed beyond the foyer.

  “Where is Conty, Mick?” Trenique was asking while staring dazedly at a lovely oil painting near the den.

  Michaela snapped to and led the way. The sisters talked the entire time complimenting the house, the furnishings, even Mick’s hair and outfit. For all their loud talk and laughter however, the two women turned dead silent upon stepping to the kitchen and spotting the heavenly assemblage of male magnificence filling the space.

  Trenique made some non-descript sound of awe while her sister swallowed…with effort.

  “Good Lord,” Monique eventually breathed.

  Mick understood their disbelief and was thankful it had quieted their rambling. Conversation in the kitchen quieted as well, giving Mick the chance to make a blanket introduction.

  County emerged through the crowd. Her eyes were filled with the same disbelief that Mick’s had been moments earlier.

  Fernando moved forward too and was extending a hand toward his fiancées’ cousins. “Ladies,” he greeted.

  Of course, Monique and Trenique were floored but that didn’t stop them from giggling like school girls or thrusting out ample sized chests-as if that were necessary given the shamefully tight sweaters they wore with equally tight jeans.

  “Can we offer you breakfast? We’ve got plenty.” Fernando asked once the ladies were idled up next to him.

  “They can’t stay.” County announced even as Trenique was nodding yes.

  “Ooooh, we’re so happy for you girl,” Monique was saying as she pulled her cousin into a hug.

  “What the hell are y’all doin’ here?”

  Monique pulled out of the hug. She continued to smile, though it was apparent that her cousin’s blatant mood was wearing through her calm.

  “Well it didn’t make sense not to drop over and speak.” The faintest tinge of laughter held to Monique’s voice. “Not with us all being right here in Chicago and everything.”

  “Bullshit. This is the first time y’all ever dropped over to see me, so cut it.”

  Conversation and eating had resumed once the introductions were made. That all ceased once County snapped.

  Fernando’s translucent stare narrowed in surprise. “Contessa,” his head tilted slightly when he spoke her name softly.

  Trenique waved a hand. “Don’t bother Fernando. We should’ve known this bitch hadn’t changed.”

  County’s smile was pure delight. “Not a bit, so why the hell are y’all here?”

  Monique was practically snarling. “At least you finally got some decent friends Conty. If it wasn’t for Mick we probably wouldn’t even have gotten an invite.”

  “There’s no ‘probably’ about that Mony.” County propped a hand to her hip. “And Mick was only doing what she was told. Mama asked her to invite your jackass family. I coulda done without seein’ any of you bastards.”

  “County,” Michaela moved closer to her friend then.

  “Conty you still the same stank actin’ stuck up bitch you always were!” Monique hissed before she was pushed aside by her sister.

  “Just cause you done hooked up with society, don’t forget we knew you when you was wearin’ our hand-me-downs.” Trenique raged.

  “And your Mama was bummin’ food stamps off ours!” Monique chimed in.

  Trenique nodded. “You come from the same hood we do, skank.”

  “Mmm hmm,” County folded her arms over her yellow pleated tube blouse. “Unlike you, I’m not there any more.”

  Ready for blows, Trenique jerked forward. “Bitch, I got a place on the lake so fuck you!”

  County was not impressed. “It’s a state of mind Tren and how many dicks did you have to suck to get that place on the lake?”

  Fernando was there to restrain both sisters, while Mick held onto Contessa.

  “We shoulda known this was gonna be the same old shit from you Conty!” Monique cried.

  Contessa however was quite calm. “I guess that means y’all won’t be coming to the wedding then?” She made sure they heard the hope in her voice.

  Monique rolled her eyes. “Come on Trenne let’s get the hell out of here!”

  The women stormed out of the kitchen but Mick held onto County for good measure. The front door slammed and the sound seemed to vibrate throughout the now silent house.

  County wrenched out of Mick’s h
old and stomped up the back stairway.

  “Fuck this,” Fernando growled, preparing to go after her.

  “That might not be the best idea, mate.” Kraven advised.

  “I gotta agree with that.” Moses said from his position near the fridge.

  Fernando massaged his neck, and then whirled around. “Mick what the hell is all this?”

  “Damned if I know.” Mick sounded just as lost and puffed out her cheeks as she leaned against the kitchen island. “She never talked a lot about her family, I only met ‘em a few times and that was if we went out and happened to see ‘em somewhere.” She began to massage her arms through the peach scoop necked sweater she wore. “County was always cool about it- making intros, small talk…maybe this visit was just a bit too unexpected.” She met Fernando’s questioning gaze. “Guess she didn’t have time to put on her mask.”

  He grimaced as understanding fell into place. The jovial mood that started the day was irrevocably marred and breakfast passed in virtual silence.

  ***

  Half an hour or so after breakfast ended, Fernando was making his way up to his and County’s room.

  “Fern?”

  About to take the second floor landing, Fernando stopped, turned and smiled. “Here to warn me again?” he teased.

  “Nah,” Kraven grinned. “As mad as she was earlier, she may’ve killed you. She’s probably over it now.”

  Fernando laughed. “You don’t know my fiancée very well. You’ll want to eat those words by the end of the week.”

  Kraven shrugged. “I doubt that. By week’s end she’ll be looking forward to her honeymoon someplace with an incredible sunset.”

  “Mmm yeah, that does sound good right about now.”

  “Speaking of incredible sunsets, my wife has a very interesting painting in her possession.”

  Fernando’s confusion was evident.

  “Reminds me of the place where you and I first met.” Kraven folded his arms across the faded replica of the Scottish flag that adorned his T-shirt. “A certain little island getaway when we were all lads…”

  Understanding flooded Fernando’s light eyes. “You sure it’s the same place?”