Amish Refuge

by Debby Giusti

  Eventually, Abram ran out of chores that needed to be done. He was weary, not so much from physical exertion but more from a heaviness of heart that weighed down his shoulders.

  Tonight he would talk to Miriam once Emma retired to her room. He would ask forgiveness for surprising her with his uncle’s visit to the market. He did not want to do anything to hurt her or to cause her harm. He would never be able to forgive himself if he caused her pain. If she readily accepted his apology, perhaps he would find the wherewithal to broach the subject of their future.

  Hoping their differences could be resolved and feeling a swell of optimism, he opened the door to the kitchen. Emma had come home and was standing at the stove stirring a pot of soup.

  He stepped inside and wiped his feet on the doormat, inhaling the pungent smell of onions and peppers and tomatoes.

  “I did not see you come home,” he said to Emma.

  “Isaac walked me to the front door so we could talk a few minutes before I entered the house.”

  Abram glanced into the main room. “I do not see Miriam.”

  “She was so thoughtful and prepared a vegetable soup with some of my homemade noodles. I was relieved when I came in and smelled the wonderful aroma filling the house.”

  “Where is she?”

  Emma’s face grew serious. “She’s upstairs, Abram. She said she’s tired and wants to get some rest.”

  He glanced at the stairwell. “Surely she will eat with us.”

  Emma shook her head. “Not tonight. She’s not hungry.”

  “What else did she tell you, Emma?”

  “Only that she plans to take the bus to Atlanta.”

  “When?”

  “I cannot say. All I know is that she emailed her sister today.” Emma’s face softened. She touched his arm as if offering support. “Abram, there is no reason for her to stay here.”

  “Serpent has been taken into custody. The sheriff needs a statement from her. And what of the trial? She will have to testify.”

  “Then she can return. But trials take time. It might be months from now. She must move on with her life.”

  Emma pointed to the table. “Come and sit, Abram. I will get your soup.”

  He shook his head and turned toward the door. “I have work to do in my workshop.”

  “You must eat.”

  “I am not hungry.” Pulling his hat from the hook, he opened the door and stomped into the cold night.

  Halfway to the workshop, he stopped and looked at the window of the room where Miriam was staying, hoping he would see her standing at the window. The room was dark and the only thing he saw in the glass was the reflection of the night sky.

  His heart felt equally dark. He had tried to give of himself, but he had not given enough. In his youth, he had injured Emma. Trevor’s accident had followed soon after. Three years ago he had lost his wife and child. Now he was losing Miriam.

  His shoulders slumped as he entered the workshop. Miriam was already focused on Atlanta and the life she would live there. She would say goodbye to Willkommen. She would say goodbye to Abram, as well.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Miriam’s mood the next morning was as overcast as the sky, knowing this would be her last few hours in the North Georgia mountains. At 10:00 a.m. she would board the bus to Atlanta. She would return for Serpent’s trial, but she would find a place to stay in Willkommen or perhaps even drive up from Atlanta for the day she gave her testimony. Abram would remain on his farm and never know that she had returned to town.

  His bedroom door opened and his footsteps sounded in the hallway. He paused outside her door. If only he would knock and ask her to stay or at least offer her some hope that she might have a place in his faith and in his future.

  She bit her lip and hung her head, hearing him hurry down the stairs where Emma was, no doubt, preparing breakfast. They had more wares to sell at market today. Miriam would not interfere with their work and their routine. Plus, saying goodbye to Abram would be too painful. She hadn’t even told him she was leaving. Another mistake on her part, but she didn’t have the courage or the strength to face him this morning.

  She had arranged for the driver to pick her up at nine, in time for the ten o’clock bus to Atlanta. She would leave a note of thanks for Abram’s hospitality and Emma’s friendship. She was grateful and so very thankful that she had found them.

  Gott had provided, as they would say, and Miriam was beginning to see God working in her own life. The teachings that had started when she’d visited the church in Tennessee were put into action here on this Amish farm. She saw the hand of God in Abram and Emma’s love of nature and closeness to the land, in their dependence on God’s mercy for all things and in their rejection of the world that had gone too far off course.

  For so long Miriam had yearned for a simple life where God was the center of the family and all was done to give Him honor. She’d found that here with Abram.

  A door slammed below. She neared the window and peered into the morning stillness. Abram came into view, his shoulders back, head held high and his steps determined as he walked to the barn. She took a step back in case he looked up to catch a glimpse of her.

  Today his focus was on the barn and hitching Nellie to the buggy. A knife cut deep into her heart. She had hoped he would change, but he wouldn’t. He never would. Abram was...well, he was Abram, a strong man with a stubborn streak that could be a blessing or a curse.

  A tap sounded at the bedroom door. Miriam hadn’t heard Emma’s footsteps on the stairway, but she was grateful the Amish woman had come to see her.

  Pulling open the door, Miriam almost cried, knowing this would be the last time she would see the sweet face of the woman who had found a place in her heart.

  “We are going to town,” Emma said, her voice low as if to keep Abram from hearing. “Come with us, Miriam.”

  “Did Abram want you to talk to me?”

  She could see the truth in Emma’s eyes. The woman would not tell a lie, but she couldn’t admit that her brother had not mentioned Miriam. Had he even thought of her?

  “I know he wants you to join us,” Emma pleaded. Yet Miriam knew that what Emma believed and what Abram wanted were two very different things.

  “You go, Emma. I need to finish my crocheting.” The scarf she was making for Emma. “And cut the fabric for the dress you showed me how to make. I’ll stay busy while you sell the rest of your wonderful items.”

  “Isaac will be working at the dairy for a few more hours, if you need anything. I could stop by his house before heading to town and ask Daniel to visit you. He’s good company.”

  Miriam smiled at Emma’s thoughtfulness. “Daniel is so special, but I’ll be fine. Have him stay with Isaac.”

  “If you are sure.”

  Miriam nodded. “I am.” She hesitated and then broached the subject she had already discussed with Emma too many times. “Isaac cares deeply for you. I see it in his eyes, and Daniel beams when you are near. He needs a mother. Isaac needs a wife.”

  Emma’s cheeks blushed. She lowered her eyes momentarily and, when she raised her gaze again, Miriam could see the internal struggle that tore at the sweet Amish woman. “What am I to do about Abram? He, too, needs a wife.”

  “Your brother will not change until the situation becomes too dire. Right now you are enabling him to go on and not think about the future. He still longs for Rebecca.”

  “Ach, that was so true, but when you came into his life, Miriam, you made him think of what could be.”

  “He never showed signs of his change of heart to me. Do not lose your own happiness because of trying to help your brother. Isaac will not wait forever. Abram will understand. He talks about what a good woman you are, Emma, and he’s right. But you must think of a little boy who needs you and a man
who God has placed in your path. You will help Abram if you force him to be on his own. Only then will he realize what he really needs.”

  “I shall talk to him today. When we return home this evening, I will let you know how he takes the news. You are right, Miriam. Abram is locked in the past. I must encourage him to think of tomorrow.”

  Tomorrow. The word saddened Miriam. Hannah would meet her at the bus station this afternoon, and by tomorrow, Miriam would be trying to start a new life for herself. After the peace of the Amish life, she wasn’t ready to face the hectic pace of the city.

  Miriam grabbed Emma’s hand. “Pray for me. I, too, need clarity about the future.”

  Emma nodded. “I will pray for you and Abram. You both struggle with the past.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Your mother. You cannot see the truth about her heart. She loved you even if she could not express that love.”

  “I believe it with my head, Emma, but my heart still questions her love.”

  “My mother wanted Abram and Rebecca to remain in Ethridge, close to her. She wanted what every woman wants, grandchildren around her in her old age. I saw her heart break when Abram left. He was the favorite child, and after Rebecca’s death, my mother encouraged me to move to Willkommen to help Abram. As concerned as she was about Abram’s well-being, I knew she loved me, as well.”

  “But what about your father. He never forgave Abram.”

  “That is how Abram sees the past. In reality, Abram could never forgive our father for his words spoken in haste. Both men are cut from the same cloth. Abram waits for my father to show some sign of forgiveness and our father waits for Abram to ask the same. They will never reconcile until one of them swallows the pride that fills each of them too full.”

  Emma squeezed Miriam’s hand one last time. “Pray for Abram. He needs your prayers and your love.”

  With a sad smile, Emma hurried down the stairs.

  The sound of Nellie pulling the buggy to the edge of the porch drew Miriam back to the window. Her hand touched the cool glass as if she were reaching out to Abram one last time.

  He took the basket Emma carried and placed it on the floor of the buggy as she climbed into the front seat. He flicked the reins, signaling for the mare to be on her way. The buggy creaked. Miriam kept her gaze on Abram until he and Emma disappeared from sight.

  If only he had glanced back. But Abram didn’t need her, he didn’t want her. He had his Amish life and everything that entailed. It didn’t include an Englisch woman who brought strife and danger to his peaceful home.

  Miriam would leave today. She would leave the Amish way. She would leave Abram, and that broke her heart.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Miriam quickly dressed in her jeans and sweater, feeling strange in her old clothes that used to be so comfortable to wear. She stuck the wad of fifties she had retrieved from her car in her pocket and then finished crocheting the scarf and left it on the bed with a note for Emma. She had also crocheted a woolen scarf for Abram to wear when the winter came next year. He could wrap it around his neck when the days were cold and he worked outdoors.

  She gazed though the window at the horses grazing on the hillside. Would he even remember her or what they had shared by then?

  She wrote a second note, this one to Abram, but she kept it breezy and light. No reason to bare her soul at this late date.

  With a heavy heart, she hurried downstairs and poured a cup of coffee. After cutting a slice of Emma’s homemade bread, she covered it with apple jelly. She would never find breakfast as good in the city. She would never find a life as good as here on the farm.

  Once she had eaten, she washed her cup in the sink and then glanced at the wall clock. The car would pick her up in an hour. Not enough time to start a new project. Perhaps she should offer a prayer of thanksgiving for the people who had taken her in. She wasn’t used to praying, but it seemed appropriate. She folded her hands and bowed her head.

  Lord, You provided a light in the window and a place of refuge in my time of need. Thank You for Abram and Emma and for the love I found in this home. Thank You, too, for their faith that has shown me the importance of placing You at the center of my life. Forgive me the years of abandonment when I didn’t have time for You. Forgive me for my unforgiving heart closed to my mother’s love. Forgive me for arguing with Hannah before she left home. Lead me to Hannah so we can reconcile. Protect Sarah wherever she might be. If only Serpent would reveal her whereabouts.

  She trembled, thinking of sweet Sarah and of what she could be experiencing.

  Lord, I can do nothing, but I place her in Your hands, and I trust that You, oh, God, will honor my prayer and keep her safe. Let me not grow despondent about what is to come, but let me know that You walk with me into each of my tomorrows. With Your help, I will not despair, but I will find a new life even if it is without Abram. Send an Amish woman into his life who will love him the way I do.

  Love him? The thought startled her.

  She shook her head. It was time to admit her feelings. She loved Abram.

  If only he could have recognized her love.

  She sat for a long moment reflecting on all that had happened. Then realizing there was something more to tell the Lord, she bowed her head again and prayed aloud.

  “Lord, You know my heart, but I still need to confess my sinfulness. I made the trip to Georgia to find my mother’s estranged sister, hoping she would accept Mother into her home so the burden for my mother’s care would be lifted from my shoulders. I thought only of myself. Forgive me, Lord, for my selfishness in my mother’s time of need.”

  She sighed. “And, Lord, I love the Amish way and long to join this community of believers and the faith they follow. If only it were possible.”

  A faint knock sounded at the door. Miriam checked her watch. The driver was early.

  She opened the door to find Daniel standing wide-eyed with his right hand outstretched.

  “Did Emma tell you to visit me?” she asked, appreciating the Amish woman’s thoughtfulness.

  He shook his head. “No, but Datt told me this belongs to you. I found it in the pasture.”

  He opened his hand and revealed Miriam’s cell phone.

  Hot tears of relief burned her eyes. The Lord had heard her prayer.

  “Oh, Daniel, I am so glad you found my phone. Thank you.”

  “It was protected by a pile of rocks. Datt said it should still work even with the recent rain. He said you can use the electricity that runs to the dairy barn to charge your phone.”

  Some of her heaviness of heart lifted. She would be able to see if Hannah had answered her email. Once she retrieved the contact information, she could call Hannah since her sister’s number was programmed into Miriam’s phone.

  “Let me get the charger.” She pulled the apparatus from the plastic bag that held her few belongings and hurriedly walked with Daniel to his father’s farm.

  Isaac greeted her warmly and ushered her into the barn where he pointed to the electrical outlet. “I wanted Daniel to give the phone to you before we left for market. We can wait until after you have made your call, if you would like to go to town with us.”

  “Thank you, Isaac, but I’ll stay here. You’ve been so helpful. I’m very grateful to you and Daniel.”

  Miriam plugged in the charger and connected it to her phone, feeling another swell of relief as the cell turned on. Hannah had not sent a reply email, but Miriam quickly accessed her contacts and memorized her sister’s phone number. She never wanted to be without a way to contact Hannah again.

  Sending up a prayer of thanksgiving, she tapped the number into the keypad and pulled the phone to her ear, expecting to hear Hannah’s voice. But the call went to voice mail. Miriam’s euphoria plummeted so much that she almost failed to speak
when she heard the beep.

  “Hannah,” she finally gasped. “It’s Miriam. I’ve been hiding out in Willkommen. It’s in the North Georgia mountains. I found refuge with the Zooks, an Amish family. I’m catching a bus to Atlanta later today. Can you pick me up at the bus station downtown? I sent you an email, but I’m not sure if you got it.”

  She pushed the phone closer. “I’m sorry about our argument when you left. Oh, Hannah, Mama’s dead. She was killed by a man who stopped our car on the mountain road. Sarah was taken and I don’t know where she is. The police...they were involved...at least, most of them. I have so much to tell you. I’m begging your forgiveness for the hurtful words I said. And Mama—I’m sure she loved us even if she couldn’t show that love.”

  The voice mail beeped again, indicating the end of the recording. Had Miriam told her sister enough? Tonight she would arrive in Atlanta and she would fill her in on everything else.

  Miriam allowed her phone to partially charge before she left the barn, latching the door behind her. Isaac and Daniel were on their way to town and, just as yesterday, Miriam felt very much alone.

  She ran back to Abram’s house and hurried up the drive, but when she turned the corner of the house, she came to an abrupt stop.

  Serpent.

  Her heart crashed out of her chest and her pulse raced. She started to run, but he was too fast and too strong. He grabbed her shoulder and threw her to the ground. The cell phone slipped from her fingers. She screamed and raised her hand to protect her face as his fist crashed against her forehead, hitting her in the same place he had hit her before.

  She tried to roll away from him, away from the heinous tattoo, away from the man who would take her to his mountain cabin and kill her.