Faithless: A Salvation Society Novel

by Megan Green

What in the hell is she on about now?

  “Sorry, Debbie, but you’re going to have to give me a little more to go on than that. Is what true?”

  She barks out a laugh. “Oh, please. Don’t play dumb with me, Shane Dempsey. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

  I remember the last time I heard this much anger in my mother-in-law’s voice: the day I’d called to tell her about Felicity’s accident. She’d been in such denial over hearing about her daughter’s death, that she’d insisted I was lying about it. That it was all some cruel prank I’d concocted to see how much I could upset her.

  Hearing it now though…

  “Debbie, I’m sorry. But I really have no clue what you—”

  “Kate!” she screams into the phone. “Is it true that you’ve been seeing that girl?”

  That girl.

  The hatred with which she spits those two words, words in reference to her own daughter completely baffles me.

  How could this woman love one of her daughters so fiercely, all the while hating the other with equal intensity?

  Gracie and Ellie spring to the forefront of my mind. I love different things about each of them, love each of them in their own way for all their differing characteristics. But there’s one thing I’m certain of.

  I love each of my daughters with my entire heart. The day each of those girls was born, a piece of my soul was tied to them. I can’t imagine ever loving either of them with anything less than my entire being. And the fact that this woman did…

  “Look, Debbie. I don’t know what you’ve heard…”

  “I heard she was out trick-or-treating with the girls last night.”

  My mouth falls open. “How could you possibly know that?”

  She scoffs. “You didn’t really think nobody would remember her from before she left, did you? One of our neighbors has a son who lives in your neighborhood. Unlike you, they invited the grandparents along last night. They saw you—and the girls—with her.”

  I blow out an exasperated breath, setting my mug on the counter and rubbing a hand across my brow. Kate doesn’t want her parents to know that she’s here. And she certainly doesn’t want them to know about us.

  One of those two things I can no longer control. But maybe…

  “It isn’t what you think,” I start, but the low grunt she makes as soon as the words leave my lips tells me she doesn’t believe me.

  “They saw you holding hands, Shane! How could you do this to her? How could you do this to my Lissy? Not even two months, Shane! She’s not even been gone two months! You can’t—”

  “Debbie!” I shout into the phone, cutting off her tirade. She stops short, a shocked gasp escaping her lips. Probably because this is the first time in over a decade of knowing her that I’ve ever raised my voice to her.

  “Debbie,” I repeat, lowering my tone this time but still keeping my voice firm. I don’t want to upset her further, but I also need her to know that I’m not going to just stand here and let her yell at me without getting to say my piece. “Yes, it’s true. Kate has been here in town since the day of Felicity’s funeral.”

  “What?” she screeches. “You invited her to my baby girl’s memorial?”

  “No,” I assert, taking back control of the conversation. “I honored your wishes and didn’t even inform Kate of Felicity’s passing. My sister—”

  “That sister of yours has always been trouble,” she quips, and I can practically see the judgmental look on her face. Debbie has never been Aarabelle’s biggest fan—probably because the few times they’ve had to be in one another’s presence, Aara has never backed down and let Debbie walk all over her. Debbie has a way of making everyone in the room feel unimportant, especially in comparison to her daughter. And Aara never stood for it. Her tenacity and bullheadedness is one of the things I love most about my sister. She’s just like our mama.

  “Watch it, Debbie,” I warn. “You don’t want to go there with me.”

  She makes a small hmph sound in her throat, but I know she’s not going to say anything further about Aarabelle. Kate, on the other hand…

  “Aara invited Kate to the memorial without my knowledge. But I have to say, I’m glad she did. She deserved to say goodbye to her sister.”

  “If she cared one ounce about her sister, she wouldn’t have treated her as poorly as she did!” she yells, her temper once again flaring.

  “If you cared one ounce about your younger daughter, you’d know she’s not nearly the monster you make her out to be.”

  “You don’t know her, Shane. This is what she does. She fools everyone into—”

  “No, Debbie. I won’t just sit by and let you bad mouth her. Because I do know her. I know how incredible she is. And how loving and caring. How devoted she is to those around her. And I know for a fact how much she loved Felicity.”

  She laughs maniacally into the phone. “You think you know her, Shane. But you don’t. Not really. You have no idea how manipulative and vile she is. You’ve fallen right into her trap.”

  “That’s enough. This conversation is over. You have no idea what you’re talking about. And until you can grow up and start acting like a mature adult about this, then you have no business being anywhere near my daughters. I don’t want them growing up with so much hate in their hearts.”

  “You can’t keep my grandbabies from me!” she gasps, panic inching into her tone for the first time since I picked up the phone. She apparently didn’t think this conversation all the way through. Didn’t think of the ways I might react.

  I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I don’t want to keep you from them, Debbie. You’re their grandmother, and they love you. But I will not allow you to spew such hatred about their aunt to them. So if that’s what it takes…” I trail off, letting her fill in the blank.

  “Their aunt,” she jeers. “You don’t want me telling the girls bad things—aka the truth—about their aunt. But you’re just fine with allowing her to fill their head with lies about their own mother.”

  I grit my teeth together. “Kate has not said one negative thing about Felicity in the entire time she’s been here. Not to me, and certainly not to my girls. In fact, she’s done nothing but tell us about the good times they shared, back before everything went to shit.”

  Debbie’s silent for a moment, and I start to wonder if maybe she’s hung up. I pull the phone away from my ear to check the connection. Still there…

  “She told you about that?” Debbie finally asks, her voice sounding distant and off-kilter.

  “Yes,” I gruff, pleased that something I said about Kate finally seems to be getting through to her.

  “I’d almost forgotten about those times. They seem like so long ago,” she says absently, clearly more to herself than to me.

  “Kate isn’t a bad person,” I prod. “I think she’s just misunderstood.”

  It’s a load of bullshit, and I know it. There’s nothing to misunderstand about Kate Mitchell. But trying to get Debbie to see she’s just batshit crazy and treated her younger daughter unfairly isn’t going to go over well.

  Debbie seems to think over my words for a moment, and a brief second of hope flashes through my chest. Unfortunately, the sigh she lets out takes it away just as quickly.

  “You’re wrong, Shane. She may have you fooled, but I know the real Kate. And if you want what’s best for your daughters, you’ll get that girl as far away from them as possible. Now, before it’s too late.”

  And with that, she hangs up, leaving only dead air for me to argue with.

  I want to call her back. To tell her until I’m blue in the face what an amazing woman—not girl, as she kept referring to her—Kate is. But it will just have to wait.

  Kate’s parents now know she’s back in town.

  And Kate has no idea.

  I need to warn her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Kate

  My lower back aches, my shoulders are sore, and my fingers feel like I’ve ju
st spent the last twelve hours mastering the works of Beethoven rather than hunched over my keyboard. But it’s finally done.

  No, not the article that’s nearly a month overdue to Izzy. I still have exactly half a word typed on that document. I’d gotten back to my room last night after spending the evening with Shane and the girls, and I’d tried to work. I’d sat and stared at that blank screen, typing the first word and erasing it over and over until I’d nearly gone mad.

  But right in the middle of that last backspacing job, I’d had an idea. An idea that had taken over my thoughts so completely, I’d immediately pulled up a fresh document and began.

  And now, twelve hours and one sleepless night later, the final words having just left my fingertips, I lean back in my chair and smile.

  It’s a pointless story. One nobody besides me is ever going to read. It’s not going to win any awards or further my career in any way. But it’s a story I’m more proud of than anything I’ve ever done before.

  Because it’s my story.

  Twenty thousand words detailing the way I felt when my sister and my parents cut me out of their lives. The years I’ve spent trying to measure up, trying to be something that they could finally be proud of. I’ve been so desperate to win back their affection, I hadn’t been able to see just how truly unhappy I’d been.

  Until I met Shane.

  Shane had woken a part of me that I hadn’t realized had been dormant. The part of me that saw myself for who I really was, and not only what I wanted to be. Because of him, I felt like maybe I was finally ready to put the past behind me and move forward.

  And in order to do that, I’d needed to face everything that had been holding me back.

  Part of me wants to delete this document now that it’s finished. Another part wants to print out every page, then toss them into a fire. And yet another part wants me to save it. To be able to open it up someday in the future, and remember exactly how I feel in this moment.

  Because for the first time in well over a decade, I finally feel free.

  Pushing back from the hotel desk, I stand, stretching my arms up over my head and arching my back. My eyes don’t drop their hold on the screen, and I scrunch my nose as I debate my options.

  A knock at the door saves me from having to make the decision, at least temporarily.

  I’d had the foresight to put the do not disturb sign on the door before I’d gotten to work last night, so I know whoever this is can’t be housekeeping. A quick glance at the clock tells me there’s no way it can be Shane and the girls, because at only eleven a.m., Shane is still at work, and there’s still a few hours before I’m supposed to pick up Gracie and Ellie from school.

  So who else could possibly be knocking at my door in the middle of the day?

  Aarabelle’s face flashes to my mind, and a smile forms on my lips. She’s the only other person who knows that I’m here, and though I have no clue what would be bringing her here this morning, that must be who it is.

  I quickly drag my fingers through my hair and look down at my frumpy t-shirt and sweatpants. I’m definitely not going to be winning any beauty contests, but I’m sure Aara won’t mind my disheveled appearance.

  I grab a mint from the hotel dresser and pop it into my mouth on my way to the door. I’d been so consumed with writing my story, I hadn’t even paused to brush my teeth. I didn’t need to scare away my only friend in town with my dragon breath.

  I plaster on a grin as I pull open the door. “Hey, what brings you… here…”

  My words falter, the breath escaping my lungs as I take in the person at my door.

  Not Aarabelle.

  Not Shane.

  Not even a wayward housekeeper who decided my sheets were more important than my desire to be left alone.

  No, the person standing at my door is the last person I’d ever expected to see here.

  My father.

  His eyes scan me slowly, his face not giving way to even a hint of emotion at seeing his youngest daughter in more than ten years. My stomach dips and my mouth goes dry when he finally meets my gaze, and my heart picks up speed inside my chest.

  “Kate,” he finally says, and it’s like a punch to the gut.

  Ten years I’ve been waiting to hear his voice again. Ten years I’ve been dying to have him acknowledge me. And now that he’s here… it’s as if he wants to be anywhere else.

  “What are you doing here, Dad?” I ask, proud of the way I keep my voice from quivering even though I feel on the verge of breaking. “Is Mom here, too?” I blurt, cold stone fear rushing through my veins.

  Because as hard as it is seeing my father, having to deal with my mother, too…

  “No,” he says with a slight shake of his head, and I breathe a little easier. My relationship with my father has never been great. But it was leaps and bounds above what I had with my mother. Even when things had been “good,” even when Felicity and I had still been close, my mother and I’s relationship had always been strained. When things had begun to shift between me and my sister, it was if it had finally given my mother the excuse she needed to finally show her true feelings. That she had never wanted me. That I was nothing but a nuisance in her otherwise perfect life.

  “What are you doing here?” I repeat, shifting some of my weight against the door because I suddenly don’t trust my legs to hold me up.

  This is all too much. He’s not even supposed to know I’m here.

  “I could ask you the same question,” he growls. “What were you thinking, Kate, showing back up here after all these years?”

  My mouth gapes as his question washes over me. “I—You—Felicity died, Dad. Did you really think I wouldn’t want to say goodbye?”

  He shrugs one shoulder. “You didn’t bother saying it before you left. Why would that change now?”

  Fury courses through my veins. “Excuse me? You people wouldn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye. Don’t you dare come here and act like this is all on me.”

  Anger flashes in my father’s eyes, but instead of unleashing it, he blows out a frustrated breath.

  “Look, Kate. I didn’t come here to argue with you.”

  “Then why did you come here?”

  “To tell you you need to leave.”

  A laugh sneaks past my lips. “Right. Because I’m going to listen to you. Newsflash, Pop. I’m not a little girl anymore. I can make my own decisions.”

  “You don’t belong here, Kate. You know that just as well as I do. You’ve made a good life for yourself in Chicago. Go back to it and leave your sister’s family alone.”

  Surprise blooms inside me when he mentions my life back in Chicago. Had he been keeping tabs on me? But before I can open my mouth to ask, the rest of his statement registers.

  Leave your sister’s family alone.

  He knows.

  He knows that I’ve been seeing Shane. That I’m spending time with Gracie and Ellie.

  Of course he knows.

  Why else would he be here?

  Even in death, he and my mother will always choose her.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I say through clenched teeth. My mind feels stuck between this weird sense of sadness and anger, and I’m not sure if I’m two seconds away from screaming in his face or breaking down completely. I’d rather not find out.

  My father pins me with a caustic look. “Drop the innocent act, Kate. We know what you’ve been up to. Your mother was beside herself when the Stinsons called to tell her they saw you with Shane and the girls last night. It took everything I had to talk her out of driving straight to his house and confronting the both of you about it.”

  The Stinsons. I vaguely remember the couple who lived down the street from us when I was growing up. They’d had a son a few years younger than me, but we’d never been more than casual acquaintances. He, like everybody else back then, had been enamored with my sister.

  How had they seen me? I hadn’t been anywhere near my parents’ house. I haven’t se
t foot within a five-mile radius of their home since I’ve been back.

  It’s a pointless question, of course. The how of it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that my parents now know I’m here. There is no more hiding from them.

  “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I say, hoping that if I can just explain, let him know that it was never my intention to return here and fall for Felicity’s husband, that he might be able to forgive me. If I can manage to convince him my intentions were good, then maybe he can help persuade my mother into giving me another chance.

  I should’ve known better, however. The way my father’s eyes narrow as soon as the words leave my lips tells me all I need to know.

  It doesn’t matter what I say. It doesn’t matter how pure my heart was when I first arrived back in Virginia Beach. All that mattered was that I had once again taken something that had belonged to my sister. It’s the way they would always see it. The way they would always see me.

  “You’ve always been jealous of your sister, Kate. I see now that hasn’t changed, even in the wake of her death. It isn’t fair of you to come here now, and try to take the one thing she had left. Shane and those girls loved her with every little bit of their hearts, and now you’re trying to destroy that.”

  “I’m not!” The words sputter past my lips, my body no longer in control of my emotions. I feel the hot sting of tears as they prick the corners of my eyes, feel the aching in my throat as I fight to bite them back. “I don’t want to take away their memory of Felicity. I only want to be part of their future.”

  “Do you hear yourself right now? You admit that you want to take her place!”

  “No! You’re misunderstanding—”

  “I understand just fine. You’ll never be content until you take everything she ever had,” he seethes, his eyes falling to the floor as if he can no longer stand to look at me. He shakes his head as he speaks again. “Your mother was right.”

  My brow furrows, my eyes straining to make out his face through the blur of unshed tears. “Right about what?”

  He lifts his gaze to mine once more, and I flinch at the hatred I see. Hatred directed at me.