Faithless: A Salvation Society Novel

by Megan Green

  Guess it’s true what they say.

  Alcohol might not be the answer, but it sure as hell helps you forget the problem.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Shane

  “Knock, knock.”

  My father’s voice comes from the entry to my office, his knuckles rapping lightly on the door frame. I drop the contract I’d been attempting to read on my desk, grateful for the interruption.

  Truth be told, I hadn’t been able to focus on a damn thing since Kate left. Two weeks of half-assed work and distraction…I wouldn’t be surprised if Dad was here to fire me. I’d sure as hell deserve it.

  He enters my office, bypassing the chairs and instead coming around to the side of my desk. He perches himself on the corner, folding his arms across his chest as he looks down at me.

  “What’s up, Dad?”

  When I’d first started at Cole Security, I’d tried out the whole call sign thing with him. Call me crazy, but there was just something about calling your own father Dreamboat that just rubbed a guy the wrong way. So while everyone else in the office went by their call signs, Liam Dempsey would always be Dad as far as I’m concerned.

  “Just wanted to check in. See how you were doing,” he says, giving me a warm smile.

  I lean back in my chair, propping my elbows up on the armrest and bringing my fingers together in front of my chest. “Been better,” I admit.

  “Still haven’t heard from her?”

  I shake my head. “Nope. I’ve tried calling, texting… fuck, I even found her email address on the paper’s website and pleaded with her through that, too. She won’t talk to me.”

  I knew as soon as I told my mother that I had feelings for Kate, she’d fill my father in. There are no secrets between Natalie and Liam Dempsey. So it hadn’t surprised me that he’d shown up the day after Kate had left, asking me if I wanted to talk about it. It had surprised me that he’d continued to check in on me every single day since.

  “Can I ask you a question, Dad?”

  He nods in response.

  “In those first few days after Felicity died, you were there for me. You and Mom made sure the girls and I were taken care of, that all of our needs were being met. But even though I’d just lost my wife… you didn’t seem to tiptoe around me like everyone else. You didn’t stop and ask how I was feeling every ten minutes like Mom and Aara. You didn’t ask if I needed to talk. Which, don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad about. I just figured you were giving me my space. I knew you would be there if I needed you.”

  He shifts on my desk, turning so that he’s facing me. “You seemed like you had enough going on at the time.”

  “I did. Trying to navigate Gracie and Ellie through that first week was hard as hell. I appreciated that at least you still treated me like normal.”

  “You said you had a question…” he probes.

  I blow out a breath. “I guess I’m just curious what changed. It’s been two weeks since Kate left, and not a single day has gone by without you popping in my office or stopping by the house to see how I’m doing. Mom and Aara had questions right after she left, but they’ve since backed off. Not you, though. Here you are again, checking on me.”

  “You want me to leave?” he asks, moving to stand.

  “No, no,” I say, reaching out to stop him. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

  My father shrugs. “I don’t know, son. I guess you just seem more… lost, this time around. I just want to make sure you find your way back.”

  My brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

  His lips purse as he considers his next words. After a long pause, he finally speaks.

  “When Felicity died, I knew things would be tough. For you. For the girls. For all of us. But you stepped up to the plate like a champ. You put the needs of your daughters ahead of any grief you might be feeling. I was in awe of your strength. Lord knows if your mother died, I’d be a basket case.”

  I chuckle slightly, trying to imagine my father trying to get by without my mother. They’ve been together so long, I’m not sure one knows how to function without the other.

  “Since Kate left,” he continues. “Well, it’s not that you haven’t still been the same amazing father. But you seem to have lost some of your spirit. It seems like you’re just going through the motions, trying to make sure everyone else is taken care of, without stopping to take care of yourself. To me, it seems like Kate leaving hit you harder than Felicity’s death. I know a lost man when I see one. I’ve been there myself. So I guess that’s why I’ve been hanging around a little more than usual.”

  I drop my hands down on the armrests of my chair, digging my fingers into the hard leather. I thought I’d been doing such a good job, getting back to life as usual.

  Leave it to my father to see right through me.

  Looking at the man who raised me, I blow out a harsh breath. Because he’s right. Losing Kate has been a million times harder than losing Felicity. When Felicity died, I was upset. But it was more like losing a close friend, someone you’ve come to count and rely on, a shoulder for you to lean on while trying to navigate the rocky waters of life.

  But the day Kate left…

  I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that cab took my heart with it. Since she’s been gone, there’s been an aching hole in my chest, and nothing I do seems to fill it. Spending time with my girls might distract me for a few hours, and work provides a respite from my thoughts—well, some of the time, anyway—but as soon as that all ends, as soon as I’m left alone for even a second, the despair sinks back in, making me feel like an empty shell of the man I once was.

  Making a snap decision, I sit forward in my chair, propping my elbows on my knees and pressing my fingers to my temples.

  “I never told you and Mom this, but when Lissy died… she was having an affair.”

  The shocked breath my father sucks in tells me that he had no idea, and I make a mental note to thank Aarabelle for keeping my secret. I’d been half-expecting him to tell me he already knew. My sister has never been great at hiding things from my parents.

  “It was only a few days before she died that I found out. She told me she was in love with someone else, and she wanted a divorce.”

  My father reaches out and places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Shane. I had no idea.”

  I shake my head. “Nobody did. I told myself I wasn’t going to tell anyone. Nobody needed to have their memory of her tarnished because of that one mistake.”

  “No,” he agrees. “That was good of you. Most men wouldn’t be able to hold something like that back. It only speaks to your character that you were able to keep something like this bottled in for so long. You were a good husband.”

  A humorless laugh escapes my lips. “If I had been a good husband, she wouldn’t have cheated on me in the first place.”

  “That’s on Felicity, not you…” he starts.

  “No, Dad,” I disagree. “If things had been good between us, she wouldn’t have needed to find solace in another man’s arms. I’m just as much to blame for her affair as she is.”

  I lift my head and look my father dead in the eyes. “I told myself the reason I wasn’t as upset as I should be by Lissy’s death was because I was angry with her. Angry that she had ruined what we had, risked our family, and acted so selfishly. But the truth of it was…” I trail off, sucking in a slow breath. “I wasn’t in love with her anymore. I hadn’t been in a long time.”

  “You son of a bitch!”

  The loud roar comes from the hall in front of my office, and I look up just in time to see Cody storm through the doorway and launch himself at me.

  I shove my chair back and leap to my feet, but his movements are too fast and he manages to catch me off balance. I collide with the wall behind my desk as his arms wrap around my waist, his heavy weight dragging me down to the floor.

  He grabs the collar of my shirt with both hands, his face coming down to withi
n inches of my own. I can see the fury and hurt in his eyes, the pain written over every inch of his face.

  “You never deserved her!” he shouts, the heat of his breath washing over my face. “If it weren’t for you, she’d still be alive. If it weren’t for you, we never would’ve been in that car that day. She wanted to wait until you were at work. Until you and the girls were out of the house to go in and pack her things. She told me it wasn’t fair to the three of you to have to see her leaving.”

  The confusion I’d been feeling since Cody entered my office starts to lift, some of the pieces starting to fall into place.

  Felicity always making excuses to bring the girls by Cole Security in the months leading up to her death.

  The way she always seemed a little more made up than usual when she stopped by.

  The sly smile that had always graced her lips when she finally made her way down to my office.

  Cody was the man she’d been seeing. The man she was about to leave me for.

  I shove him off me, the anger pouring through my veins multiplying my strength and taking advantage of the momentary weakness his words had inflicted upon him.

  He falls backward, and the two of us scramble to our feet.

  “You asshole,” I seethe. “How could you do this to me? You knew she was my wife.”

  He scoffs. “A wife you never appreciated. You said it yourself. If her needs were being met, if you were half the man everyone seems to think you are, she wouldn’t have had to seek me out.”

  “You fucking prick!” I shout as I start toward him, my arm cocked back and ready to strike.

  Before I can hit my mark, however, my father steps in, his big frame putting itself between me and my intended target. His big arms wrap around my chest, and even at nearly sixty years old, his strength is enough to hold me back.

  “Cool it, Shane. I know you’re pissed. But you need to calm down. This isn’t the time or the place to do this.”

  I sag against him, all the fury I’d been feeling rushing out of me in an instant. My father leads me back toward my chair, depositing me in it before turning to Cody.

  “Get your ass out of here. Right the fuck now.”

  His tone leaves no room for argument, and while the fucker might not respect me, there’s no denying an order when Liam Dempsey gives it.

  Cody gives me one last hard glare before turning and stomping out of my office. Dad grabs the phone from my desk and punches in a few numbers.

  “Twilight,” he says when Mark answers. “Get your ass out to the yard and get Brown. Make sure he doesn’t do anything he’s going to regret. No, I don’t have time to explain. Just move it.”

  He hangs up the phone before turning to me. He reaches out a hand but seems to think better of it before touching me. He shifts uncomfortably before me, as if he’s not exactly sure what to do here, before he finally crouches down and looks me in the eye.

  “You okay?”

  I scoff. “What the fuck do you think?”

  I instantly regret the words. It’s not his fault Brown is a fucking cunt. “Sorry,” I mumble.

  “S’okay. You have every right to be angry. No man should ever touch another man’s wife. Brown knew exactly who she was and what he was doing. Had we been anywhere but the office, I would’ve jumped in and helped you pummel his ass.”

  I chuckle, relaxing even further. “I’ve wondered who it was no less than a hundred times since Felicity first told me she’d met someone else. I’ve pictured just about every different scenario there is. Co-worker… random dude on Tinder… hell, there’d even been a minute when I wondered if it was one of her students. But never, not in a million years, did someone from Cole Security cross my mind.”

  “That’s because nobody here would ever want to hurt you like that. Nobody except Brown, that is…”

  I let out a heavy sigh. “I always wondered why he seemed to dislike me so much. Now I guess I know.”

  “I’ll talk to Jackson and Mark. There’s no way that douchebag can continue working here after that.”

  I shake my head. “No, don’t do that. He’s a grade-A asshole, but he’s one of the best guys we’ve got. I won’t let my own personal shit get in the way of having a job done right.”

  “But, Shane…”

  I hold up a hand. “No, it’s fine. Honestly… and I can’t believe I’m even saying this… I’m not even that mad.”

  My father lifts a brow at me, looking back to the spot on the floor where Cody and I had been fighting only a minute before.

  “Okay,” I correct. “I’m mad. I wasn’t expecting to find out that one of the guys I’m supposed to be able to trust the most was the one who stabbed me in the back. But everything I said before he interrupted is still true. I wasn’t in love with Felicity anymore. So can I really be angry at someone else for falling for her? She might’ve been my wife on paper. But it had been years since what we had was really a marriage.”

  My father regards me with an expression I can’t really name.

  Admiration?

  Respect?

  Flat out bafflement?

  Finally, he shakes his head and lets out a low chuckle. “Fine. You’re a bigger man than I, Shane. I won’t make Jackson and Mark fire the bastard. But you can’t talk me out of having him transferred. There’s no way I can look at that prick every day and not end up killing him for what he’s done. You may be okay with it, but you’re still my son. Nobody wrongs one of my kids like that.”

  I laugh. “Fine. I will admit things will be less… tense around here without having to deal with that asshole.”

  “Consider it done. Now, what are we going to do about you?”

  “What about me?” I ask, my lips pulling into a frown.

  “Well, we can’t very well have you moping around for the rest of forever. We need to figure out how you’re going to fix things with Kate.”

  I sigh, leaning forward and burying my face in my hands. “I told you, Dad. She won’t talk to me. I can’t exactly fix things if she won’t hear me out.”

  “You know, after Aaron came back from the dead, I was worried that your mother would always see me as second best.”

  I lift my gaze up to his. “You did?”

  He nods. “I even went so far as to leave. I told her she needed to figure out where things stood with him, because I couldn’t be the reason to break up a family. If there was even a chance that they could fix things, I told your mother I would fade gracefully into the background and let them be.”

  “You would’ve done that?” I ask incredulously.

  “Fuck no,” he breathes out. “I loved your mother too much to ever live without her. But I told myself I had to try. Fortunately, she had far more sense than I did back then, and I was able to pull my head out of my own ass.”

  I laugh, because though I’d never say it in so many words to her, that’s exactly what I need Kate to do.

  She’s so convinced that I’ll always compare her to her sister, that I’ll constantly be trying to get her to fill a void that Felicity left, that she can’t see my feelings for her for what they are.

  One hundred percent real love.

  “What do you suggest I do?” I ask. “How did Mom finally get through to you?”

  “She just never gave up. You need to prove to her that she’ll never be ‘second best’ to Felicity. You need to show her that despite what she thinks, you’re in this for good. For life. Because you love her.”

  “And how do I do that if she won’t even answer my calls? She doesn’t even open my texts.”

  He shrugs. “So reach out to her in a way you know she won’t be able to ignore. She’s a journalist, right?”

  I nod.

  “So what better way to tell her how you feel than right there in black and white?”

  A slow smile spreads across my face, an idea instantly forming in my mind.

  “You’re a genius, Dad.”

  He gives me a cunning smile. “Just tell me what you need
me to do.”

  I grab a piece of paper and a pen, my hand setting off in a fury across the page.

  Twenty minutes later, my father has a list of things I’m going to need him and my mother for in order for this to work.

  And I have a foolproof plan to win back the woman of my dreams.

  At least I hope.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Kate

  For the first time in two weeks, a genuine smile spreads across my lips, a laugh bubbling up from my chest and out past my lips.

  It feels good to laugh. To feel something that isn’t heartbreak and pain. I know it’s only temporary, but it’s a welcome reprieve all the same.

  Dawn sits across my desk from me, the two of us deep into our respective boxes of Chinese takeout, Dawn recounting a blind date her sister set her up on this past weekend.

  “Seriously, Kate, I don’t know what she was thinking. I’m twenty-four years old. What she thought I’d have in common with a forty-year-old, balding father of three whose idea of a good time was discussing the importance of Roth IRAs is beyond me. I’ve never heard somebody talk so passionately about tax savings.”

  “Well, you did take that semester of personal finance in college. It’s easy to see where she’d get confused,” I say with a wink.

  “Ugh,” she groans. “Don’t remind me. Longest three months of my life. Who knew talking about spending money could be so boring?”

  We’re both still giggling over her botched blind date when Izzy sticks her head in my office.

  I quickly set my carton of food down, sitting up straight in my chair. Ever since Izzy walked in on me daydreaming in my office, I’ve tried to be on my best behavior. Sitting and shooting the shit with our receptionist doesn’t exactly scream professionalism, even if it is our lunch break.

  Fortunately, Izzy seems to be more pleased than upset at the sight of Dawn and me. She smiles at me warmly. “Hey, Kate. Just wanted to pop in and see how you were doing today. Have you had a chance to take a look at this morning’s issue?”