Showmance

by L.H. Cosway

  Julian arched an eyebrow. “When have you ever known me to wallow over a lost love, Rose? I’ll pick myself up and move on to the next, just like I always do. Besides,” he went on, lifting our clasped hands and bringing my knuckles to his mouth for a kiss, “you know you’re the only woman I’ve ever really loved, and that’s because I don’t want to have sex with you.”

  I looked at him sadly. We’d had countless conversations over the years about his strange outlook on love and sex, and how for me the two went hand in hand, never separate, but for Julian, they had to be forever apart, never together.

  “One day a woman will come along when you least expect her, and she’ll wash away everything that came beforehand,” I whispered.

  He didn’t reply, but he didn’t have to. Though he might have argued otherwise until he was blue in the face, I knew that when it came down to it Julian wanted to find real love just as much as I did. I might have accepted his lifestyle and the choices he’d made along the way, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t wish for more for him. When you loved a person, you wanted them to be happy, no matter how unlikely the possibility, and you never stopped hoping they would be.

  ***

  The following morning, I walked into Iggy’s studio with a takeaway coffee in hand and a determination to spend as little time in Blake’s company as possible. My head was full of plans and preparations for the party, which I was to throw on Saturday night, per Julian’s instructions. His birthday was on Sunday, but apparently the whole thing would be a wash if we threw it then because nobody went out on a Sunday night – his words, not mine.

  When I saw Damon standing in a group next to Alicia and a few other cast members, I decided to go over and invite them all to the party. It made my stomach twist to see how she had her arm slid through his, like they were an item or something. The only saving grace was I knew by the look on Damon’s face that he was completely uncomfortable. He hated being in groups, so obviously Alicia was the one who’d forced her company on him.

  She was almost as determined to win Damon as Julian was to win her. It was quite the predicament. If only some higher power could change the target of their affections.

  “Hi, everyone,” I said, and gave a little finger wave. “So, I need your help. I’m throwing my best friend a surprise party for his thirtieth on Saturday and need some guests to make up the numbers. This means you’re all invited.” I was met with lots of positive noises, but when I looked at Alicia, she appeared less than enthusiastic. She knew exactly who the party was for without even having to ask.

  “I’ll come,” said Damon quietly, and I shot him a thankful smile. Memories of last night flooded my head, how his hand cupped my face, his eyes flashing with heat and curiosity.

  “I’ll come, too,” Alicia put in, suddenly finding the idea a lot more appealing now that Damon was going. Of course.

  “And me,” came another voice. I instantly bristled as a warm arm slid around my shoulders. It was Blake. I stepped aside quickly, breaking the contact and eyeing him with barely concealed suspicion.

  “I didn’t invite you,” I said stiffly. He grinned and tucked a strand of messy hair behind his ear. The gesture I’d once found sexy as hell now caused bile to rise in my stomach.

  “Well, that’s not very kind,” he said.

  I wanted to walk away, but I stood my ground. “No, it isn’t. I only give kindness where it’s due.”

  “I sense some history here,” Alicia chirped with a gleam in her eye, her tone sickly sweet. I wasn’t a violent person but I sort of wanted to smack her right then.

  “Rosie’s my ex,” Blake explained, all matter-of-fact. “She doesn’t like me very much.” The smile on his face said he was enjoying my prickliness, and I couldn’t for the life of me say why. I was also furious that he’d outed our past to at least five cast members. Everybody would know about it by the time the day was through.

  “Aw, he calls her Rosie. Isn’t that adorable,” Alicia went on, and again, not a violent person but….

  “I prefer Rose,” said Damon, and I sent him a grateful look before addressing Blake.

  “I’m not your ex. If I recall correctly, we were never actually a couple.”

  He waved a hand lazily through the air. “Semantics.”

  “There are no semantics about it. I wasn’t your girlfriend, Blake, so stop trying to make people believe otherwise.”

  “Ouch, somebody got out of bed on the wrong side this morning,” he said in a lilting voice, and took a step closer so that our shoulders brushed. Now he whispered, “Or are we a tad sexually frustrated? What’s it been, five weeks?”

  I swear, I could have decked him, but instead I clenched my fists and kept my calm. “I bloody knew you couldn’t keep the act up for long.”

  “There was never an act. I swear I’m not here to cause a lot of trouble, Rose.” He paused before amending his statement, the innuendo evident. “Well, maybe I am here to cause a little.”

  Before I could say another word a shadow fell over us. Damon had come to stand behind me, his posture protective. “Back off” were the only words he uttered, and Blake laughed like he was being ridiculous.

  “We’re just talking.”

  A hand came to rest on the base of my spine, and I shivered. I liked how it felt when Damon touched me, even though I knew I shouldn’t. “Aye, well, go talk to someone else. Rose isn’t interested.” The territorial tone to his voice made my stomach clench. In the time I’d known him, Damon hadn’t struck me as a confrontational person, although he did have an intimidating side. But maybe that was just because he was always so stoic. The fact that he was confronting Blake on my behalf had tingling butterflies wreaking havoc on my insides. My heart wouldn’t stop thrumming.

  Blake’s eyes turned calculating as he glanced at Alicia. “I’ve been meaning to ask — do you need any extra help moving your piano later, or would you prefer to have Damon come alone?” The placid look on his face was at odds with the trouble he was trying to stir. It took me a second to digest what he’d said as I turned to look at Damon, a question in my gaze.

  You’re going over to her place later?

  Now the butterflies transformed into blades cutting at my heart. It was ridiculous, because I had no claim over Damon. So why did it hurt so much to think of him making plans to be alone with Alicia?

  His lips firmed, and now he was the one who looked like he wanted to punch Blake. Reaching out, he moved to take my hand into his, but I pulled away, too many feelings bubbling up inside me. I needed to get of there.

  Thankfully, Iggy provided me with the perfect escape as he called my name, needing my help with something. I stepped away from the two men and followed my boss out to his office, only exhaling when I shut the door behind me.

  “What do you need?” I asked, my voice strained.

  He peered at me speculatively. “Nothing. You just looked like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place out there. Thought you could do with rescuing.”

  I heaved a sigh. “I did. Thank you. Blake’s being…difficult.”

  Iggy pulled a folder from one of his filing cabinets and began flicking through it. “Realised what he threw away, has he?”

  Pressing my fingers to my temples to relieve the headache I could feel forming, I answered, “I don’t know. He’s being very forward, not to mention talkative. Everybody’s going to know about what happened between us.”

  “Oh, honey, we’re creating a West End show. There’s going to be far more gossip flying around than your little fling with Blake Winters. Don’t worry about it. They’ll all be talking about something else come lunch time.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” I said, my thoughts a jumble.

  A moment later there was a knock on the door before Damon poked his head in. “Rose. Can we talk?”

  Iggy shot me an arch look, which I ignored as I stood and went to Damon. “Sure, what’s wrong?” Stepping out into the corridor, I closed the door to allow us some privacy.


  Damon looked frustrated. “I didn’t offer to go to her place. I got roped into it.”

  I placed a hand on his arm to reassure him. “Hey, you don’t need to explain yourself.”

  His gaze fixed on the hand that was touching him, and he let out a gruff breath. “But I want to.”

  Now his eyes rose to meet mine meaningfully, and I swallowed at the intensity in them. It felt strange, this thing between us, because ninety-five percent of it was completely unspoken. It was just a feeling, one that drew me to him like a moth to a flame. It made me notice the little things, like how his pupils dilated when he watched me dance last night, or how his breathing deepened when he touched me, how the only times I’d ever seen him smile were at me.

  “You’re allowed to have friends, Damon. You said yourself that Alicia’s a nice person. If you like her, you should get to know her.” Every word was like swallowing glass, but this needed to be said. I didn’t own him.

  “I don’t like her. I like you,” he said, and I grew antsy.

  “Let’s not talk about this.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I told you, I’m terrible at relationships. You’ll be running for the hills in the space of a week.” I stared at the floor as I spoke. Damon’s fingers slid against my skin as he cupped my neck.

  I glanced up. His gaze was hooded and sexy. “Let me be the judge of that.”

  I swallowed deeply, my voice failing me. A strange expression passed over his features, like he was struggling over what to say. “You,” he paused, frowned, then tried again. “You captivate me.”

  My heart stuttered. The clear, undeniable honesty in his words had me trembling.

  “You’re being crazy,” I managed.

  “Do I captivate you?” he asked, a vulnerability in his eyes like he honestly had no clue how I felt for him. His fingertips dug into my flesh, while a light sweat broke out all over my body. A few people stood chatting at the other end of the corridor and I grew self-conscious, wondering if they were listening to us. I stared at Damon, but I must have hesitated for too long because he looked disappointed. He stepped away, eyes on the floor.

  “I should go,” he said, and walked away.

  My gut sank, all my energy gone as I slumped back against the wall. A minute later I dragged myself to the bathroom, splashing some water on my face and willing my heart to calm down as Damon’s voice echoed in my head.

  You captivate me.

  Do I captivate you?

  When I came back out, Jacob and Iggy had gathered everyone in the main practice room, though most of the actors were sitting on the floor to watch Damon and Alicia rehearse a scene.

  “In this part, Satine still believes that Christian is the Duke. Think of it as a comedy of errors. She thinks he’s come to her chamber for sex, while Christian is under the impression she knows he’s a writer and they’re going to discuss the play he’s composing for her to star in.”

  I listened to Jacob go on with further instructions as I took a seat on the floor with the others, still a little disoriented. Iggy showed Damon and Alicia how they were to move. It wasn’t a dance routine as such, but there was a point at which he would take her hand and twirl her in a romantic fashion.

  “Now” — Jacob butted in again — “when you burst into song, I want it to really pack a punch. I want even the people sitting in the Gods to have goose pimples, so don’t hold back.”

  The scene began, and I watched as Satine pulled Christian into her (imaginary for now) boudoir. The dialogue played out, with Satine pretending to be overly aroused by Christian’s poetry. She hammed it up, but she was supposed to, and everybody chuckled at her display.

  Damon was wonderful in his role, bringing a sort of masculine vulnerability and inexperience that encapsulated Christian’s character. He was animated, the way he spoke vivid, and I knew it was true when he told me he felt free when he acted. Free of the shackles of his own identity.

  And then, when he burst into song, I was certain the people sitting in the Gods would have goose pimples, just like Jacob wanted. There was absolutely nothing quite like Damon when he sang. My entire body tingled with energy as I sat on the floor directly in his line of sight. I couldn’t see Alicia because her back was facing me, but I was certain she didn’t have to use too many of her acting skills right then to portray Satine falling for the man standing before her.

  He was just incredible. It was all I could do not to sigh, especially after the intense moment we’d shared outside Iggy’s office. When he glanced at me, singing the line about not remembering if her eyes are green or blue, his bore into mine and my entire body tensed. I felt like I was having heart palpitations, and for the rest of the song I knew he was singing to me. I could just feel it.

  “Very good. You were a little stiff at first, but about midway through the number, I really started to believe you. Excellent work,” said Jacob.

  I swallowed, struck by his words. It had been about halfway through the song that Damon had looked at me, but I tried not to obsess too much on what that could mean.

  “Now,” said Jacob, ushering Blake and a few of the other lead actors forward, “we’ll rehearse The Pitch again. This scene comes directly after ‘Your Song,’ but we haven’t practiced it with our new Duke yet.”

  I stood to assist Iggy with the choreography, catching Blake’s eye as I crossed the studio. He wore a familiar look of interest, and a small shiver trickled over me. That was the same look he used to give me when he wanted sex, and even though I had no interest in rekindling anything with him, it still made me remember. Blake had been fantastic in bed, one of the best I’d ever had.

  A small smirk graced his mouth then, like he knew what I was thinking about. I plastered on a placid expression and tried not to look at him after that, focusing on directing the dancers and pointedly ignoring him from there on out.

  Never. I’d never be a fool for him again.

  I knew it with a keen certainty, but I couldn’t be sure if it was because I had a newfound strength in myself, or if I was becoming a fool again, only this time for a different man. Once more I thought of Damon’s words, a shiver encapsulating my body.

  You captivate me.

  Do I captivate you?

  Yes, Damon, you captivate me. And it’s terrifying.

  Twelve.

  *Rose*

  I didn’t see much of Damon over the next few days and was busy preparing for Julian’s birthday. On Saturday morning I woke up with a whopper of a headache and knew for certain it was down to the stressful, tension-filled week I’d had. Blake’s involvement in the production turned my work days into a minefield of avoidance, and at the same time I had my burgeoning feelings for Damon to contend with.

  I was both thankful for and irritated by Alicia, who always seemed to be by his side. It made sense, of course. They were playing the leads and had a lot of scenes together, but even at lunch she managed to hog his attention, and I never really got the chance to speak with him.

  Sitting in bed, I rubbed at my temples and picked up my phone. I shot off a message to Iggy, asking if he could do me a massive favour. Before I knew it, he was knocking on the door to the apartment, his arms full of shopping bags, ready to take over the party preparations.

  “Go take some painkillers and get a nap,” he told me. “I’ll make sure this place is fit to host royalty by the time I’m done.”

  I said it before but I’d say it again — I really loved my boss. Sure, he had his moments, but didn’t we all. Iggy had always been more like an eccentric father figure to me than an employer.

  Julian was spending the day getting pampered at a health spa, so we had lots of time to transform the apartment into party central. Or at least, Iggy did. I went to bed as instructed and woke up only half an hour before the guests were supposed to arrive. I couldn’t believe I’d slept most of the day.

  Walking out of my bedroom still in my pyjamas, I found Iggy sharing a glass of wine with Farrah, who mu
st have arrived while I was sleeping.

  “So, how’s the patient feeling?” Iggy asked as he took me in.

  “Much better,” I answered, mustering a smile. “Thank you so much for doing all this. The place looks amazing.”

  “It was no trouble at all,” said Iggy, waving away my thanks as I looked around the apartment. He’d decked the place out in the gold and silver decorations I’d bought, and in the kitchen there were trays upon trays of finger foods, alongside at least two dozen bottles of wine and champagne. A second later he was at my side, ushering me back to my bedroom.

  “Go shower and doll yourself up a bit. You look like crap,” he said, and I had to laugh at his honesty.

  Inside my en-suite I turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up before stepping under the spray. The hot water warmed my bones, and I spent extra time exfoliating and shaving my legs. When I got out, I could hear the party guests already starting to arrive. I felt so much better than I had that morning, so even though I was late, I took my time getting ready. After all, I knew Julian wouldn’t make an appearance until an hour that could be considered fashionably late.

  I wrapped myself in a towel before going to pick out something to wear. Settling on a dark blue dress that brought out the colour of my eyes, I laid it out on the bed with some underwear and hold-up stockings before going to blow-dry my hair. It was after my makeup was done that I pulled off the towel and began to put on my underwear.

  I’d barely gotten the stockings on and was just about to pick up the bra when my bedroom door opened and I heard a masculine intake of breath.

  Turning almost in slow motion, I found Damon standing frozen in my doorway, his eyes dark as he took me in. Tiny tendrils of awareness pricked at my skin, and I began to feel my nipples tighten from his stare alone.